Maybe bromance isn't the right word. (This is kind of geared toward straight-ish transguys, but I guess it doesn't matter.)
As you move along in transition, did you experience any, like, "physical" feelings towards guys that you didn't have before, but they weren't gay feelings? It's hard to describe. Like, not romantic feelings, but kind of more along the lines of "Dude, let's take a shower in the locker rooms together after a game of catch and touch each other inappropriately, dude. Cause we're dudes, Bro."
Know what I mean? I just wonder how common it is.
(Maybe it's just part of the increase in sex drive. I still only ever have romantic feelings for women and feminine men, but my ability to have some kind of sexual feeling for different types of people increased, though it's still not as strong and it's still not the same as I have for feminine people. What do you think?)
Quote from: Leek on September 29, 2011, 03:37:50 PM
...but they weren't gay feelings? ...more along the lines of "Dude, let's take a shower in the locker rooms together after a game of catch and touch each other inappropriately, dude. Cause we're dudes, Bro."
That's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
LOL dalebert
Mmm I kinda feel that way towards women too (a bit more), but yeah, I know I like guys. It's just being secure with your sexuality I would think.
Quote from: dalebert on September 29, 2011, 03:47:21 PM
That's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Well, of course I'm a little gay. That's a given. I mean, what guy isn't? But it's not like the whole "Gee, golly, you sure are keen, I want to date you" type feelings, it's more along the lines of the whole "circle jerk" thing, I guess, if I may be crude.
QuoteMmm I kinda feel that way towards women too (a bit more)
Yes, I've heard girls I know talk about this, too. Or their own version.
Good luck with that.
I think I know what you're talking about.... I was never attracted to men in the slightest before going on T. Now, after 3 years of testosterone, I wouldn't really consider a relationship with a guy (just don't really feel any personality-related chemistry to other guys), but I have strong attraction to the male body. If I weren't already in a very committed relationship, I'd be tempted to have some purely sexual relationships with other men.
I think "bromance" is just a running online joke. Have you considered that you might simply be bisexual?
Not really, but I do find I am closer to my male friends. It just comes along with being regarded as more of a friend than a potential love interest since it's sort of assumed that we aren't all gay for each other. XD No special new urges to grope other dudes on my end (not to say that I'm totally straight.)
Just be real careful about making that pitch to the wrong (and that's most of them) straight/cis guys. It's considered 'fighting words' and if you don't know how to fight, it can end pretty bad.
...Yeah, that's just gay. Most "bromances" aren't sexual. They are usually just very close buds who may show physical affection but in a non-sexual way. At least in my experience. To echo tekla, good luck with that.
Interesting.... as someone said here, I think, as many people there are in the world there are different sexual orientations, different types of sexual and romantic attractions. Your case seems difficult because you have sexual attraction towards men, but romantic attraction towards women, if I'm reading your posts correctly. That would be hard for anyone. Maybe you are gay or bi or just unique, or as Luc said the hormones are changing your sexual preference, and that you aren't that open to it at the moment. Please keep us updated.
I'm pre T and starting soon, so I don't know if I'm far enough to answer, but I have not found myself becoming attracted to men. I don't see what romance has to do with it. If your sexually attracted to men then you are gay. Pretty sure stuff like that only happens in gay porn.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-eK1dzgmDwY8/ToUQ9duJ6OI/AAAAAAAAAis/k4ERq0OXTio/s640/IMG_20110929_204324.jpg)
Does it mean I'm gay if I wear this hoodie almost daily?
Yes. Yes, it does. ;D
I found myself being strongly sexually attracted to men after I admitted to myself that I was trans, and let myself think about being male in romantic/sexual circumstances. I wasn't attracted to anyone before that. And yeah, now there is a lot of wanting to be recognized as male with other males, and just get physical, without romantic preamble. I feel both sexual and romantic attraction to men, but the two are separate in my mind. I could definitely do the ->-bleeped-<--buddy thing if I weren't already in a committed relationship with a guy I love and respect.
Quote from: tekla on September 29, 2011, 05:58:26 PM
Just be real careful about making that pitch to the wrong (and that's most of them) straight/cis guys. It's considered 'fighting words' and if you don't know how to fight, it can end pretty bad.
Yeah, I know how some cis men can be. Ape-like.
Rest assured, I'm not intending to make any kind of "pitch," as it were. I'm already in a committed relationship (with a bi-gender person), and I was just talking more in the realm of theory and sexual feelings, than actual sexual acts. I just wonder if I'm alone in T influencing ones sexuality in this particular way--having this appreciation for the male body develop over time.
Quote from: LucI think I know what you're talking about.... I was never attracted to men in the slightest before going on T. Now, after 3 years of testosterone, I wouldn't really consider a relationship with a guy (just don't really feel any personality-related chemistry to other guys), but I have strong attraction to the male body. If I weren't already in a very committed relationship, I'd be tempted to have some purely sexual relationships with other men.
Exactly.
Quote from: SharkyIf your sexually attracted to men then you are gay.
Not really. I still mostly like women and other kinds of feminine people (both sexually and romantically). Dunno what that makes me, but I wouldn't mind being gay if I, er, was gay. I just don't think I am, is all. I don't mind penises, though, of course, but whether that's gay or not depends on whose penis it is.
Quote from: SharkyPretty sure stuff like that only happens in gay porn.
Hahaha...
Quote from: prettyI think "bromance" is just a running online joke.
Sorry. Didn't know what else to call it...except maybe g0y (
http://g0ys.org/ ). LOL.
Quote from: prettyHave you considered that you might simply be bisexual?
I guess one could call it that if one wanted to. The thing that seemed odd to me was just that the feelings are
different towards masculine males than they are towards the feminine people I'm primarily attracted to. I'm attracted to them neither equally nor in the same way. By contrast, it seemed to me that bisexuals I have known in the past are attracted to both men and women in the same way without discrimination (i.e. they like "the person, not their gender," as they summed it up) which is not the case with me.
My partner, for example, is male-bodied, but I don't really see her as masculine, so I'm attracted to her differently (and much more) than I would be to someone with the same kind of body who was masculine. It's weird.
Quote from: sonopoly on September 29, 2011, 06:42:04 PM
Interesting.... as someone said here, I think, as many people there are in the world there are different sexual orientations, different types of sexual and romantic attractions. Your case seems difficult because you have sexual attraction towards men, but romantic attraction towards women, if I'm reading your posts correctly. That would be hard for anyone. Maybe you are gay or bi or just unique, or as Luc said the hormones are changing your sexual preference, and that you aren't that open to it at the moment. Please keep us updated.
Nah, I'm open to it and it doesn't trouble me. I'm fine with all the little nuances; I just wonder how common the phenomenon is. If anything it has helped me learn that sexuality is rarely as simple as the common labels will have one believe. I just don't really have any substantial desire to act upon it because masculine people are still not my primary area of attraction, and more importantly, I already have a very lovely significant other who satisfies me quite well in every possible, imaginable way. (*Brag, brag, brag.*)
i get what your talking about the whole male comradery hey lets get drunk and measure our dicks... circle jerk... jerking your friends dick... yeah i get it. well transition increases the chance of something like that happening, as it happens to be between 'bros'. testosterone probably helps, of course i couldnt tell you because im not on T yet.
I have a male friend I really like to be close to and spend time with, I like it when he hugs me and I love being able to talk to him about anything and everything. We've talked about the look of his chest, told each other their attractive points and we 'flirt' with each other quite a lot. But neither of us are interested in the other; he's completely straight and has been with his girlfriend for six years, and I just like him as a friend.
It's an all new kind of 'intimacy' for me, and while I'm gay, I resent the idea that's being put forward that this could only be the result of some kind of gay wants-to-be-sexual relationship. We're just bros.
I guess it's an old and probably over-simplified concept, but I always think of the Kinsey scale when I think "bisexual". Based on that, someone can be a little bit bi. I think it probably is over-simplified though. What I'm finding, and this includes myself, is that there are specific traits that matter to different people, physical or personality-wise. As people stop thinking of gender as such a binary thing, this seems to be more true. As we let go of binary notions of gender and thinking of our potential attraction to someone as being based on gender, we can probably find ourselves attracted to people of either gender to some degree or another depending on specific traits.
Some people's sexuality morphs through-out their transition but other people stay pretty much the same. I think I have read a lot of people say they felt a renewed attraction and/OR sense of comfort towards a sex/gender they wouldn't normally be attracted to after they had transitioned and become more comfortable with their own body.
It makes sense to me that attraction to males, when you are feeling dismorphic about a female body, could make you feel worse because it seems like a feminine attraction. Once you are feeling more comfortable in your body and experiencing less of those feelings of dismorphia, I could see someone becoming more comfortable with it.
Quote from: Leek on September 29, 2011, 04:02:11 PM
Well, of course I'm a little gay. That's a given. I mean, what guy isn't? But it's not like the whole "Gee, golly, you sure are keen, I want to date you" type feelings, it's more along the lines of the whole "circle jerk" thing, I guess, if I may be crude.
I'd have to agree with the whole circle jerk thing...the only reason I can come up with is that as we become more comfortable with our own bodies we're a lot more open to messing around and enjoying it. Before transition I would shy away from stuff like that because it would confirm my femininity.
I hope you guys don't mind if I chip in a little bit! I have had a curious relationship with the bromance as I've transitioned from male to female, and paradoxically, being able to transition to a female has allowed me *greater* camaraderie with guys.
Part of it had to do with identifying as a gay male beforehand, which, I felt, isolated me from males (and didn't allow me much interaction with females beyond "hey, let's coo over a hot guy". As I began to transition, there was a weird liminal period, but eventually, my sexuality shifted towards attraction to females.
This, it turned out, was the key. Being just divorced enough from malehood (as a passable, pretty female) while having close to zero sexual interest in them basically prompted my initiation into brohood with a few of the guys I know. And, from my interpretation of the word bromance, this is pretty much as close as it gets.
I would say I actually got way more female friends than male friends,
but I do have this guy I been friend with since I where around 6 grade and we're like bromance,
I am bisexual so yes I am attracted to guys but of corse not EVERY guy I see and I would never have sex with this guy, and its good because his also straight so we only friends,
but I feel a deep friendship between 2 guys who is just friend is really more adorable than the romantic movies on tv.
we guys have fellings too, and we also have our best friends we like to share things with,
I think it kinda easy for girls because they can go to toilet together and sleep together without people thinking there gay, but as soon guys do it everyone assume they must be together.
well thats kinda sad, I wish I could have bromance with every guy, not only the gay people but also more of the straight ones,
sadly many straight people are scared to show to much feellings to another guy, what if it would make them "turn gay"
I dont know but who cares XD its guy love between 2 guys
scrubs - guy love (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4L4Uv5rf0#)
Quote from: dalebert on October 01, 2011, 03:35:10 PM
It makes sense to me that attraction to males, when you are feeling dismorphic about a female body, could make you feel worse because it seems like a feminine attraction. Once you are feeling more comfortable in your body and experiencing less of those feelings of dismorphia, I could see someone becoming more comfortable with it.
Okay, I feel like a dork. Obviously the word I was going for was "dysphoric/dysphoria".
While I don't think of myself as being gay or bi, I do admit that I've always been attracted to some men - Women though, yum yum, they're just my cup of tea. But anyway, I will admit that now that I'm on T, even if I don't pass, I'm more inclined to phsycially mess around with my guy friends; slapping them, hitting them, tackling them...etc...and I feel closer to them in a way than I ever have before. For me, I think it's just being more secure with who I am as a person. I might think that some of them are hot, but my cave of wonders is still off limits to bio-men >__O;
I'm not on T yet, but I know that after living full time for a while, I started to get a kick out of derping along with my friend Brandon. Touching each other "romantically" because we know it makes the other awkward and having a long laugh about it. Like *touchtouch* *awkwardeyetwitchandtouchesback* Seehowyoulikeitbastard.