So I made a profile just looking for friends, maybe something more, I thought why not. Did all the questions, bla bla bla, got some matches, one of which was a pretty awesome chick that I really did want to message. So I did. Couple hours later, went to check the site. Couldn't find my profile.
I emailed them a couple days later because they said my account might be under review in their FAQ. They contacted me back with this:
QuoteHello,
Thank you for taking the time to email POF.com.
After a recent review of your account and activity on Plentyoffish.com, we have decided to close your account.
We will not disclose specific details regarding your account's closure.
Most commonly, account closures are a direct result of a violation of our Terms and Conditions regarding misrepresentation of personal information.
We may also close an account due to complaints about your correspondence, profile content, or for any other reason as stated in our Terms and Conditions.
If you would like to review our Terms and Conditions, you may do so by clicking on the following link:
http://www.pof.com/terms.aspx (http://www.pof.com/terms.aspx)
The closure of your account is permanent, and any future accounts will be automatically detected and deleted by the system.
Regards,
Sideah
POF Team
POF.com
The only thing I can think of, is that I applied as male. I put in the description of me that I was trans and explained my views on it etc etc. So I googled 'plentyoffish trans discrimination' and there are many results all the same as me of this kind of thing happening.
This needs to stop, this is so completely wrong. I am sickened by this! The site seemed so friendly and accessible, I did not lie or hide my identity. It would have been much more of a deception had I applied as female.
How do I go about righting this? It's a free site, and apparently, this isn't illegal behaviour. But come on! I am baffled by this!
Little bit more digging and, not related perhaps to the ideology of those who run the site but disgusting just the same : http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2283299.aspx (http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2283299.aspx) seriously??? Really?!?! The posts in this thread are utterly sickening to me.
I was reading it, and the more I read the more angry i got so had to stop!! >:(
I don't disclose on my profile. I figure it's not going to net me any more replies that I want to hear.
I don't know what you could do about trying to right this....but man, that is some bull. I took a gander at the comments just to see what was being said - people are so ignorant.
yeah i hate people. there are a lot of people know who are like this. even one of me friends wouldnt consider dating this really hot trans guy even in theory because he doesnt hava a penis.
Try connectingsingles.com they have some trans there but as always there are prejudice people everywhere. Oh you have to list as male or female.
Sorry that happened to you. I've had good experiences with online dating sites. Have you tried OkCupid? They're pretty trans-friendly (although your only two options for gender are male and female).
As for the comments, I don't read that sort of stuff anymore. The internet is filled with trolls and ignorant anons. I just ignore it.
Quote from: anibioman on October 01, 2011, 06:06:58 PM
yeah i hate people. there are a lot of people know who are like this. even one of me friends wouldnt consider dating this really hot trans guy even in theory because he doesnt hava a penis.
We do have penises. Penises that stay hard as long as we want. Their loss.
OK Cupid seems trans friendly. I have seen openly trans profiles on there (guys, that is, well hey, I'm gay!) and a thread in the forums that had a bunch of positive posts.
I was on POF but deleted my profiles because a) no responses or b) idiots responded I was not out, though.
Jay
I joined out of curiosity because my mum had used it and there was an ad on TV. I just think it's... So wrong to do that. A lot of complaints I found were from MTF's who had been kicked off the site. It seems a bit morally crushing, they should at least advertise that they are going to make you feel like a piece of ->-bleeped-<- if you're not ''normal'' whilst they go to great lengths to seem so friendly to everyone else. Even though I don't really care about being on the site I don't just want to be like, 'oh well, whatever' because other people are going to get this kind of discrimination too. If my bad experience can prevent other's, then it was worth something.
I don't think emailing them will help so much... Perhaps a petition?
Hey Bud,
To be honest I wouldn't get so worked up about it. I have a friend who (she) started using the site to "meet" guys, my gf and I checked out the site concerned that she started "internet dating" when she's barely 18. POF is a joke, it's a site to just meet people to hook-up/booty calls, not really to make friends or any decent relationship. Don't waste your efforts and energy over such a trash site.
As far as I know Plenty of Fish is still registered as a British Columbia company. So technically you could file a complaint with the BC Human Rights Tribunal, since transsexualism is protected from discrimination under "sex" in that province. Of course you'd have to prove that that was the reason your account was closed - which would be impossible using only that response. (In fact that is part of why they "will not disclose specific details regarding your account's closure.") You'd also need a mailing address of some kind in BC.
Never been on POF (should that be an S not a F?) but OKCupid will not let one register without specifying either M or F...
i find what those lil brained fools things they say quite funny :) look a she is a he so i am gay but don't want him because he is now a guy lol i read to about page 7 then got bored of their sad attempts of fitting in :) in all honesty don't even add a proper drop of emotion to what they say :)
I'll third the motion on OKCupid... very trans-friendly, and I've never been harassed for being trans (my profile says I am openly). As per mass dating sites, this is hardly the only discrimination going on. Match.com and eHarmony, only the most-advertised dating sites in the U.S., both send any gay or lesbian match-seekers packing. If you check "female seeking female," you're re-routed to a homosexuals-only site. And strange... here I was thinking gays were far more accepted in America than transfolk.
eHarmony was/is set up as a Christian site pretty much. Very heavy religious overtones.
Quote from: tekla on October 02, 2011, 06:49:46 PM
eHarmony was/is set up as a Christian site pretty much. Very heavy religious overtones.
I've heard they won't even let you search for a same sex partner. >:( >:( >:(
Everyone should use OkCupid, it's a great site for meeting people plus there are lots of interesting articles and graphs in the info section.
Someone should make a trans friendly site called plentyofclownfish.com. For those who don't know, clown fish are able to spontaneously change sex.
I met someone through POF after my marriage ended, so thought I'd give it a go a few weeks ago.
Having given it a while I went back today, and had received no interest. I decided to check the forums and all I found was a bunch of misfits who were not going to find anyone decent, and a pile of homophobic and transphobic garbage. I terminated my account.
Karen.
eHarmony now has a gay (not sure about lesbian) sister site called Compatible Partners. Not worth it though.
OK Cupid is Free.
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on October 03, 2011, 08:20:49 AM
eHarmony now has a gay (not sure about lesbian) sister site called Compatible Partners. Not worth it though.
Compatible Partners is for lesbians as well. I agree--not worth it. Especially considering whom the parent company is.
I noticed that was a very old thread on that site, so I did a search on the site using transsexual as a search word.
Didn't find much but I did come across a thread that was fairly recent where some blatant transphobia was on display and one of the moderators on the site brought the smack down, bitched at the offenders for being ->-bleeped-<-s, and locked the thread.
So maybe it isn't as bad as it was in the past.
IDK
I do not care to spend anymore time in that forum as it is so not my cup of tea.
Quote from: TheAetherealMeadow on October 02, 2011, 09:12:05 PM
Someone should make a trans friendly site called plentyofclownfish.com. For those who don't know, clown fish are able to spontaneously change sex.
That made me lol. Very clever.
And hey, I followed the link to those comments, and the first page turned my stomach. I didn't read further. I've seen the same stuff on OregonLive.com, where I sometimes go to read the Oregonian. I always forget how much hate is out there.
So I opened a Plenty Of Fish account (downloaded the app on my phone) and they only have 2 options for gender, "male" and "female". I chose "female" and started getting messages and interactions from interested men. Then I decided to add "transgender" to my profile and also told one of them that I was. As soon as I did that I stopped receiving messages and I can't send them either! Or do anything. Seems like my profile is blocked somehow. Ugh!!
That's really odd Charlie. There's a trans woman on POF in my area (southern England). She's got her profile set up as female and in her description she clearly states that she's a trans woman. I notice that this thread was started and last updated in 2011 so would have hoped things had been improved since then - could it just be a temporary problem with your messages?
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on April 26, 2018, 09:37:05 AM
So I opened a Plenty Of Fish account (downloaded the app on my phone) and they only have 2 options for gender, "male" and "female". I chose "female" and started getting messages and interactions from interested men. Then I decided to add "transgender" to my profile and also told one of them that I was. As soon as I did that I stopped receiving messages and I can't send them either! Or do anything. Seems like my profile is blocked somehow. Ugh!!
This happened to me too a few months ago. It seemed like I was logged out and when I tried logging back in my info wasn't working... Also I made another account and it happened again! So I gave up. Makes sense now that maybe I was banned both times too.. I was thinking it could be because others on their report profiles but I'm not sure
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Casady on April 26, 2018, 09:49:13 AM
That's really odd Charlie. There's a trans woman on POF in my area (southern England). She's got her profile set up as female and in her description she clearly states that she's a trans woman. I notice that this thread was started and last updated in 2011 so would have hoped things had been improved since then - could it just be a temporary problem with your messages?
Really? I got blocked and unblocked now. I don't know if somebody reported then...I decided to put the word "transgender" in my description again. Let's see what happens...
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on April 26, 2018, 11:21:59 AM
Really? I got blocked and unblocked now. I don't know if somebody reported then...I decided to put the word "transgender" in my description again. Let's see what happens...
Nothing like getting your hopes up, having them dashed, then make you wonder if you should hope again.
I hope it works out for you (and that you find someone!) I just checked the profile I mentioned previously and it's still online and clearly states transgender in the description (not the heading, but the main text). Of course, no guarantee she's receiving and sending messages successfully I guess. It will be interesting to hear how you get on!
Quote from: Casady on April 26, 2018, 12:50:12 PM
I hope it works out for you (and that you find someone!) I just checked the profile I mentioned previously and it's still online and clearly states transgender in the description (not the heading, but the main text). Of course, no guarantee she's receiving and sending messages successfully I guess. It will be interesting to hear how you get on!
Yeah I'm back on. Receiving and sending messages! And the word "transgender" is in my description. I'm just not typing it in the conversation just in case lol. I just ask them if they read my profile.
I have known for quite some time that plentyoffish is trans discriminatory. I call it plenty of fish, as in they are off. On the other hand, OkCupid will not discriminate over it. As a matter of fact, if you get hate mail for being trans, they will delete that sender's account if you report it.
Hi, realise this topic is old but I can't believe how they can get away with this. I had a message sent to me on POF from another user today...it was fairly offensive...I won't repeat it here because it's just unacceptable...after getting massively depressed by it, i got angry so i messaged safety@pof.com as they suggest...I'm a trans woman and stated this in my profile. I wasn't lying about who I was...anyway they closed my account! Worse still they left the bigots account open! (Got a good friend to search for their profile)...feel like going to a newspaper with this, they can't have a term or condition which states no tg people surely? That would be illegal? Well anyway, sorry again to rant but came across this thread and it got me riled up lol. Also been meaning to sign-up to this site for a while so good a time as any I guess....wish was a more cheery intro tho...
Hi, s4mmyz1!
Welcome to Susan's.
Sorry to hear about your negative experience at POF. You did the right thing in reporting it. Their response tells you all you need to know about the site, doesn't it?
Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself. Here is some information that we like to share with new members:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
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Quote from: TheAetherealMeadow on October 02, 2011, 09:12:05 PM
Someone should make a trans friendly site called plentyofclownfish.com. For those who don't know, clown fish are able to spontaneously change sex.
I checked - someone registered that already :( . They do offer .lgbt domains now and I registered one. Been toying with the idea of starting my own dating/friends site.
My experiences with dating sites have been rather disappointing (even before finally coming out as trans and creating a Natalie profile). Really the only people who are messaging me on okcupid are thirsty guys who have stated they are straight on their profile (then go on to tell me the nasty things they want to do to me) ::) ::).
I tried to sign up for HER. Being foolish and lonely I paid to upgrade my account. Fast forward about a month later and I was banned. When I contacted support them they offered no explanation and did unban me but only offered a robotic unhuman response of "sorry, not sorry". I felt like it almost had an overtone of "maybe if you were prettier you wouldn't have been banned?". While they didn't say that EXACTLY my mind interpreted their response as that. I demanded a refund after that.
In fact the same company (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Match_Group) owns Plenty of fish, tinder, and okcupid. I'm not one for conspiracy theories but I'm sure there isn't much incentive to actually improve the platforms as a result of the monopoly.
Quote from: s4mmyz1 on July 29, 2018, 02:46:52 PM
Hi, realise this topic is old but I can't believe how they can get away with this. I had a message sent to me on POF from another user today...it was fairly offensive...I won't repeat it here because it's just unacceptable...after getting massively depressed by it, i got angry so i messaged safety@pof.com as they suggest...I'm a trans woman and stated this in my profile. I wasn't lying about who I was...anyway they closed my account! Worse still they left the bigots account open! (Got a good friend to search for their profile)...feel like going to a newspaper with this, they can't have a term or condition which states no tg people surely? That would be illegal? Well anyway, sorry again to rant but came across this thread and it got me riled up lol. Also been meaning to sign-up to this site for a while so good a time as any I guess....wish was a more cheery intro tho...
@s4mmyz1 Dear S4mmyz1I understand your frustations all to well, with online dating sites like you had mentioned,
but first things first.I see that our member
@KathyLauren has already sent you an official welcome message here on this tread that you just posted on.
Please allow me to also
WELCOME you to Susan's Place. You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will
make some new friends here.
Please come in and get involved at your own pace.
Be sure to look at the
Links that our member
@KathyLauren posted below her welcome message, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Pay special attention to the
LINKS IN RED...
...answers to questions that many new members have can be found there.
Also, please click on the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) LINK that she provided so you can let more members know of your arrival here on the Forums, thus more opportunities to share information with other like minded members.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle
Thanks for your welcomes and replies / support. I will try to drop by and properly introduce myself soon but I just got in from work and need some dinner! Really does need to be a free trans dating site which is run by trans and uk based...and as previous comments say not just for people with a fetish...im still upset tbh as I was getting close to organising a date with a guy before I was banned and i cant remember his username 😢
Anyway, dinner then bed! Speak soon all!
Sammy