I just started with a gender therapist. What should I expect and how will I know that it is working? My main goal is to figure out where I really am. I usually have some gender dysphoria and sometimes have lots of it. Most casual observers (if they were actually observing) would say I'm "just" crossdressing. But it seems much stronger than that at times. I know many here at as Susan's have not known at the start where they would be after therapy and reflection. I'm definitely in that category...
Vanora
What my therapist is trying to do is unravel my conflicting thoughts and self arguing down to a point where we can really distinguish what thoughts and feelings are important. The most important thing to keep in mind is that they cannot tell you who you are or give you the ultimate solution. They can only help you to make sense out your thoughts and feelings so that you can make that decision easier. I'm constantly searching for the answer to that question too, but it has helped a lot just talking to someone and just slowing down and dissecting my thoughts and being an observer to my own life so that I can better understand who I am. It sounds very complicated for sure, but your on the right track with therapy and just remember to take it slow and try not to worry and do too much "what if" thinking because that can hurt and stress you out.
Anyways hoped that helped and good luck! :)
Thanks Kaylie! I have lots of conflicting thoughts too unlike many of the people here so I guess I just need to be patient and think through it all and discuss it!
In my first session, I described my situation to my therapist and asked if I might be trans, she said, "That's for you to decide. I'm just here to help you explore your mind and heart until you find your most authentic inner self without all the masks and deceptions that we all build up in dealing with the outer world. Then we will both know the answer and we can determine together what to do about it." I thought that was a very good answer.
In the sessions since then, we've talked about all sorts of things, many of which seem totally random and trivial until some deep memory breaks free and reveals a little bit more to me about myself. I think of it as the "hit and run epiphany". ;D As a result of therapy, I've come to discover that I really do feel more like a woman than a man, moreso every day, and that pursuing transition is becoming more important to me with every new self-discovery. I have decided that I definitely do want to proceed with HRT and RLE. I'm still undecided about SRS, but am starting to lean in favor. Without my therapist, I think it would have taken many more years before I could bear to face the truth of my situation and own the idea that I just don't feel any attachment to the male social role at all. In fact, without therapy, I would probably STILL be trying miserably to prove to myself that I am the gender my anatomy would suggest...even though it feels like a lie.
The most important thing about a therapist is to find one you feel you can be honest and open with...especially with the parts of your life that you may be uncomfortable talking about. You'll have good sessions and bad sessions, happy sessions and angry sessions, but I find that I generally look forward to the next session...even if I bawled my fool head off in the previous one. I always come away feeling better and more self-aware in some small way or another.
So, keep a positive attitude going in and give yourself several sessions to learn if you can get comfortable with the therapist...and find a different one if you just can't open up. Remember, everything you say in session is legally protected and completely confidential (with very, very few exceptions) and no topic is necessarily off limits to discussion in session unless you want it to be. Be honest with the therapist and with yourself. Whether you discover you are trans or cis, crossdresser or fetishist, or something else completely, it's all good and therapy will help you figure out who and what you really are. That's really the whole point of it all.
Peace.
I have found that a therapist isn't like a magic pill. Like others have said, they just are a guide in helping you understand your feelings. At first it was like, tell me what to do. But in reality they just try to get you to accept
Oneself in a non judgmental way. I still don't know if I'm just a crossdresser or more? Actually with my GID I experience at times, I suspect that I feel more than a crossdresser. Not that
would that be bad and in someways better for me. My therapist helps me sort out my feelings. It's not an easy task as they change constantly and being older makes me feel hopeless at times.
Anyway, a therapist is truly necessary wherever it might take you.
Samantha
Thanks Dana and Samantha,
I definitely feel like more of a crossdresser but lack the urgent need to change that drives some to have to transition immediately. I guess I'm one who needs to work through this very carefully and patiently. I know in my heart I'd much rather be a regular girl than a James Bond kinda of guy. But I lack all of the socialization of a woman.