So I guess this is the part where I say 'hi' and introduce myself. So, uh, hi. Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Junodog, a clever name I came up with all by myself back when my sister got a dog and named it Juno. I kind of joined in a spur-of-the-moment thing - I decided I wanted to find a place to talk about this stuff and google sent me here, so... here I am. Before I begin with the interesting stuff, though, I should point out that I'm tired and unmedicated and also making Halloween decorations so forgive me if this post is a little bit jumbled.
Anyway, I grew up and currently live in Colorado, was born in Germany, went to college in Montana, and majored in Liberal Studies, specifically Global/Multicultural Studies with a focus on Europe and Germany in particular (I spent a year abroad there, too). My mom's American and my dad's Flemish (Belgian) and they used to work for a big international nonprofit group, so they're incredibly open-minded and accepting, which is awesome because I know not everyone is that lucky.
I guess the main reason I came here is because of... well, gender identity issues. I don't think I'm in dire need of help at the moment, though. Well, I am, but it's not because I'm questioning my gender, it's more that I have massive psychological issues and not nearly enough resources to deal with them. Which, of course, is part of why it's taken me so long to actually go out and find someone to talk to about the whole 'I don't know if I'm really female' thing.
To explain, I have two major emotional/behavioral disorders: Attention Deficit Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. In short, I have troubles concentrating and getting things done, and I worry about just about everything you could imagine. This, of course, has made it extremely difficult to get help with problems - I'm either too afraid to ask for help, or I'm too distracted and I only remember to ask at the most inopportune times. The problem is, I didn't get diagnosed with anxiety until I was in college, which meant that I had no idea what the deal was with me when I was a kid, and it pretty much led to me being a social outcast.
I bring this up because I think it plays a pretty big role in how I view myself in terms of gender. Before I knew anything about anxiety, I used to think that I was afraid of doing all the really fun stuff that I wanted to do because I was a girl, and I thought if I were a boy I wouldn't be such a wimp. Which led to me fantasizing about being a boy (and also a total badass) almost all the time, except I didn't really know a whole lot about male genitalia until I was... I dunno, early teens, maybe? I just had a talent for not paying any attention to it AT ALL.
So basically I'm kind of in the middle - I'd like to be a boy, and when I'm not doing something with other people, I take on the persona of one of my male characters (I write a lot) in my head, but there's a lot I like about being female, too. I also like the idea of having kids of my own and being all like 'I made a baby in my belly I'm so awesome' so I don't want to change anything physically just yet (if at all). I guess I have a lot of questions that I'd like to have answered at some point, and a lot of anxiety issues that make it hard to know if I know the answers already or not. I think I'm officially too tired to think about this anymore tonight so I'll wait to get into the details.
Um, more about me... I've got a lot of interest in psychology, and I'm told I have a gift for storytelling (my ego tells me this too, but my anxiety thinks my ego is way too full of itself and needs a smack in the face so I kind of have to rely on what others tell me) so I'm trying to use that gift to increase awareness and understanding about my disorders and mental disorders in general. I'm into fantasy and sci-fi and I really like using science to fuel creative efforts (I use math while drawing all the friggin' time). I also do mountain-ey sports like snowboarding and rock climbing, and I am obsessed with my dog because she's adorable and I love her and she is twitching in her sleep right now and it's so cute and I just forgot what else I wanted to say.
Oh, I have braces, too. And I'll be 23 in January. And I graduated college and living with my parents, who I don't think know anything about this. I think I'll leave it at that for now, so um... yeah, that's why I'm here, and I look forward to getting to know you guys in the future. :)
Welcome to the forums, Juno The Dog :P
Thanks, Annah. Juno would send her regards as well, but she is currently in a state of self-induced unconsciousness in order to recharge her metaphorical batteries. She's not twitching anymore, though.
Welcome. Hope we can help. :)
Hi Junodog, welcome to Susans! My grandparents were both From Belgium. I served in Germany from 1983-1985 at Zweibrucken and Kaiserslautern. Thanks for sharing with us and see you around, hugs, Tracey
Hey Junodog! You've definitely come to the right place for everything gender-confusion-related support.
Oh and, I'm Flemish like your dad. :)