went shopping today with my cousin, we went into a Forever 21 which surprisingly was really packed with people even though its a tuesday morning. We picked out some articles of clothing and as we were going into the fitting rooms a group of about 3 girls were talking amongst themselves while they were looking at me and suddenly i heard "thats a guy" and some loud giggling, these girls were clearly about 23 or 24 and they were acting like children! As i walked into a fitting room one of them said "girls know girls, and thats a guy" i was so hurt that i couldnt help but cry a little while i was in the fitting room :( i did buy some clothes but now i dont feel like wearing them. I cant help but feel like a guy in a dress now after this. I thought girls were more compassionate but i guess it doesnt really matter who the person is they can still be jerks. It totally ruined my day
I'm so sorry that happened to you Elsa. Ignorance knows no age, I'm afraid. Please don't let this incident ruin your day. This has happened to all of us at one point or another. You have to learn to pay ignorant people no mind. When you hear people make stupid comments, just look at them and smile and keep on about your business. People will talk no matter who you are. Trans, gay, bi, straight, fat, skinny, black, white, purple, etc.
Stay strong, wear what you bought, and be happy.
::HUGS::
Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 18, 2011, 01:51:38 PM
You have to learn to pay ignorant people no mind. When you hear people make stupid comments, just look at them and smile and keep on about your business. People will talk no matter who you are. Trans, gay, bi, straight, fat, skinny, black, white, purple, etc.
Very true, well said :)
Hi Elsa, I'm sorry you had a bad time shopping. Women are more compassionate (usually!) but girls? Eh, they can be silly and immature. Forget about them, how about some pictures of what you got? At least describe what you bought beyond "some clothes." Girls gotta know! Hugs, Tracey
Those particular girls clearly didn't know girls, or they would've known there's more to it than just looks. Don't let them get you down dear ... find comfort in the likely event that someday they'll giggle at the wrong person and get in trouble. :)
The best thing to do when you encounter something like this though, really is looking at them and smiling. Not the kind of ignorant smile but one more like "yeah I know what you said and I'm proud of who I am". It makes almost everyone feel extremely uncomfortable with what they just said.
Sorry this happened to you. Some girls can be mean, they think they're smart but they're really dumb. :-\
Quote from: elsaG on October 18, 2011, 01:45:51 PM
went shopping today with my cousin, we went into a Forever 21 which surprisingly was really packed with people even though its a tuesday morning. We picked out some articles of clothing and as we were going into the fitting rooms a group of about 3 girls were talking amongst themselves while they were looking at me and suddenly i heard "thats a guy" and some loud giggling, these girls were clearly about 23 or 24 and they were acting like children! As i walked into a fitting room one of them said "girls know girls, and thats a guy"
Those girls are trapped in a state of arrested development, elsaG. They can't handle anything outside their bubble, and if they encounter such things they respond as children do: with nervous giggling and cruelty as a means of dissociation with the thing they don't understand. Regard their opinions as you would a fourth-grader's (that is, pat them on the head, pretend you care, then promptly forget what they just said because 99% of it is bull->-bleeped-<-). Pity these women, elsaG. They'll be in elementary school the rest of their pathetic existence.
I'm REALLY REALLY sorry that this had to happen to you. Wish I could give you a gigantic hug! I thought about leaving susans because it's been nothing but a dramafest, but threads like these keep me around. I just stay out of the silly drama and go to where the genuine concern is needed.
All of the advice of, "Don't let it get you down", while meaning well, just doesn't help. I know how it feels, you know people mean well but you may still feel terrible. I can't give you advice on how to make yourself feel better except that time heals all wounds. Try to distract yourself and try to stay positive. Situations, like what happened to you, are very heavy and hard to carry, but if you do let it pull you down, it can get out of control.. So just try to relax and move forward.
You are a beautiful woman.
Those girls are so ignorant. You don't look like a guy at all. :)
First of all, I am sorry this happened to you. People will be mean, as said above, no matter what age, no matter the reason. With that said, however, I am a down to earth, no sugarcoating type person, so please do not think I am intending on being mean myself with what I am about to write, however, please consider it.
You're feeling down and insulted for being called a "guy" and you're allowing it to sink in. You're a woman; a woman would shrug this comment off, think to herself that those girls were simply jealous and crazy, and move on with her day. By you letting this get to you, you're only subconsciously admitting to yourself that you are still a guy. Let me say it again, you are a woman. You are not a guy. I understand the hurt - I've had it myself, but you have to rise above the pathetic comment that girl made, you're better than that. You are a woman, stay confident.
I had something similar happen to me recently and I'd say the girls involved were about the same age.. My response? I smiled at them and said, 'You are only half right..' at which point they got quite embarrassed..
Quote from: elsaG on October 18, 2011, 01:45:51 PM
one of them said "girls know girls, and thats a guy"
They'll meet a bad ass girl who will bust their pathetic balls, but that's personal gratification and it has no place within Justice.
The best thing to do is to alert the store manager and Mall manager and had them exited from the shopping complex.
Quote from: elsaG on October 18, 2011, 01:45:51 PM
I thought girls were more compassionate but i guess it doesnt really matter who the person is they can still be jerks. It totally ruined my day
Sorry that happened to you. But actually, I've found some girls can be far more "katty, petty, mean-spirited, and just more down-right nasty" than most any guy I've met. Don't let it get you down... life goes on. :)
I'm sorry you had to deal with girls who are rather ignorant.. I apologize for my age group being very very rude and extremely dumb. Its best to try to ignore it if you can. I know thats rather hard to do, but as the others have said people will talk regardless. I'm not so sure they know girls as well as they say they do. Those types of girls will probably end up getting in trouble sooner or later with someone.
Reminds me of when I went to Hong Kong to visit my friend, some girls on the bus were talking down to me in a similar manner. They just kept talking trash to me and of course they were saying it out loud. They thought I probably wouldn't understand them since I was reading a manga I brought with me. They were insulting me and I could understand exactly what they were saying. I turned my head towards them and they just waved and smiled. They then proceeded to talk more trash about me while waving and smiling at me. I tilted my head and said in my deepest voice "What are..." and then switched my voice to my female voice and said like a little child "you talking about?" and winked at them. I got up from my seat and proceeded to "flash them" with my skirt, but I stopped and let out a small scream and people turned to look at them. Needless to say it was a quiet ride the rest of the way and they looked really dumb..
Sometimes the best way to make people stop is to say or do something and keep them guessing. Those girls that were rude to you were probably jealous I bet. :laugh:
Your a woman not a girl.. just keep going forward .. they will grow up one day to think like you which is a woman with compassion
I am sorry you had to suffer from the mean spirit of these girls.
Once I was stop in the mall and asked by a security guard if I was a women.
It hurt. But I responded with "Yes I am a women a trans women."
That statement shock him. I still felt very bad and left the mall quickly.
Yes I have been back in the mall many time and have continued my journey now on hrt.
Elsa you know that you are a women, those girls don't know anything.
Don't let people like that steal your joy of life.
Hugs,
Jillieann
hey everyone thanks for the support, ive had a couple of hours to get all the steam out. I was mostly angry today when that happened just because it was totally uncalled for. I mean what business is it of their's? Im there to shop just like everyone else and mind my own business, i just hate how people have to stick their nose into things that they know nothing about and people who they dont know. Anyway as i was thinking today, ive decided that i want to opt for facial feminization. It's a bit drastic but i feel like that will help me pass way more. At this point in time i feel its more important than srs, even though the bits down there distress the hell out of me i think FF will help boost my confidence, especially socially. Anyway thanks everyone
Sounds like a pack of she-who-only-dates-jerks. They are likely looking forward to a life of being smacked around and used by the usual suspects and crying all night about how there aren't any "nice guys". They will live a miserable, shallow, unimportant lives; you can bet on that.
She likely has no idea what makes her happy in life, and probably won't ever enjoy the rush of finally feeling free after living an imprisoned life. Remember that you know a happiness that they will never even imagine exists. Live life, do what you want, take what you want, go where you want. Crap like what she said is either a personal insecurity flaring to the surface, or petty one-upping to try and contrast their own, supposed, lack of imperfection. Learn to see through the smoke screen and smile with big and confuse the fuzzies out of them all.
Those girls sound like a gaggle of boppi bimbos who should be shopping at Forever in High School rather than a young adult woman's shop
Don't let their rude, ignorant and immature behavior spoil your day
Hugs
- Virginia
Hi Elsa,
Don't let a comment made by immature girls ruin your day. If that's you in your avatar, I don't think you really need FFS. They must have picked up on someting else, like your mannerisms, walk, body language or lack of confidence. Surgery should be your last resort. Give hormones some time to work, be confident and don't feel like a guy in drag because you'll act like one.
Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2011, 01:45:51 PM
went shopping today with my cousin, we went into a Forever 21 which surprisingly was really packed with people even though its a tuesday morning. We picked out some articles of clothing and as we were going into the fitting rooms a group of about 3 girls were talking amongst themselves while they were looking at me and suddenly i heard "thats a guy" and some loud giggling, these girls were clearly about 23 or 24 and they were acting like children! As i walked into a fitting room one of them said "girls know girls, and thats a guy" i was so hurt that i couldnt help but cry a little while i was in the fitting room :( i did buy some clothes but now i dont feel like wearing them. I cant help but feel like a guy in a dress now after this. I thought girls were more compassionate but i guess it doesnt really matter who the person is they can still be jerks. It totally ruined my day
Where do you live anyways?
memphis
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 19, 2011, 12:48:24 AM
Do you know Fior? She does vids on youtube.
i do not actually, who is she?
Quote from: Elsa.G on October 19, 2011, 12:55:23 AM
i do not actually, who is she?
She does vids on youtube. a MtF...she counsels a lot of people. Seek her out...
That must have felt so shocking and hurtful. Sorry. I once had a group of children come up to me and start asking questions about my gender and it was quite upsetting even though they were just children. When people are in groups they tend to get more judgmental of others because of the power they feel being in a group. If that's you in your avatar, then I'm surprised that any girl or group of girls could clock you. You look young and natural and pretty :) Hormones and makeup and hair can go a long way. How long have you been on hormones?
Quote from: Elsa.G on October 19, 2011, 12:55:23 AM
i do not actually, who is she?
ok definitely will do
Quote from: ZeldaHeart on October 19, 2011, 01:46:08 PM
That must have felt so shocking and hurtful. Sorry. I once had a group of children come up to me and start asking questions about my gender and it was quite upsetting even though they were just children. When people are in groups they tend to get more judgmental of others because of the power they feel being in a group. If that's you in your avatar, then I'm surprised that any girl or group of girls could clock you. You look young and natural and pretty :) Hormones and makeup and hair can go a long way. How long have you been on hormones?
Ive been on them for about a year now, i get so incredibly annoyed having to take them everyday, its just unfair. And thank you so much, i guess a giveaway could be my voice and probably my body type. I have very broad shoudlers and arms and legs. Bugs the hell outta me!
Quote from: V M on October 18, 2011, 09:52:00 PM
Those girls sound like a gaggle of boppi bimbos who should be shopping at Forever in High School rather than a young adult woman's shop
Don't let their rude, ignorant and immature behavior spoil your day
Hugs
- Virginia
Indeed. To be fair to the girls I knew in middleschool and highschool, non were so trite and cruel. Its just a group of mean spirited jerks, at least one can take solace that they will surely hurt each other far more through rampant backstabbing than anyone outside their circle.
Were they white or black?
Btw, girls are catty.
Girls don't know ->-bleeped-<- about other girls.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 19, 2011, 09:33:59 PM
Girls don't know ->-bleeped-<- about other girls.
Is that so? I was the "gay best friend" :laugh: once apon a time and girls know plenty about each other. Including what makes an insecure girl tick...
Women are incredibly close creatures, now apply that in reverse...they are more brutal than men to each other.
Ugh, I knew you were gonna say something Mahsa, lol. >.< I just find it rly annoying when some girl talks about how "All women are like this" or "All women like so-and-so". It happens a lot.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 19, 2011, 09:31:42 PM
Were they white or black?
Btw, girls are catty.
they were white, and they looked kinda like a typical valley bimbo. You know bleached blonde with a tan ALL 4 of them haha, 2 of them had their big fake boobs out and short shorts almost going up their butt. The others in skin tight mini dresses. Ugh im angry just writing this. Of course they also had that tennesse accent. ::)
Im so sorry you experienced that :( dnt feel too bad though, girls tend to do this to each other more than other people i believe. Like in school i always got picked on for being "goth" haha i wasnt but many people thought i was. I know it must have felt terrible but who cares about them. They sounds like airheads to me. But luckily us girls are not all the same :) they are probably the minority of the bunch. Hey they might have been jealous ;)
I had a similar experience here, but I could defend myself using my feminine voice. I did ask them if they could repeat what they just said as I didn't quite get it as it did sound to me like she was suspecting that I was a guy which couldn't be true at all. That made them running pretty fast.
Not sure what such girls want or do - I would see quite a lack of self esteem on their side that they feel the need to wreck someone else's day.
But let's face it: they wouldn't have talked about you if you wouldn't have looked great.
I would have been all up in her grill "Bitch no you did not!" *snaps fingers* :D
Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 20, 2011, 01:00:55 AM
I would have been all up in her grill "Bitch no you did not!" *snaps fingers* :D
I've done that to people who weren't even talking about me. Just my nature, I suppose.
As the others have said, just silly little girls.
Get to the important stuff. What did you buy?
Cindy
Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2011, 01:45:51 PM
went shopping today with my cousin, we went into a Forever 21 which surprisingly was really packed with people even though its a tuesday morning. We picked out some articles of clothing and as we were going into the fitting rooms a group of about 3 girls were talking amongst themselves while they were looking at me and suddenly i heard "thats a guy" and some loud giggling, these girls were clearly about 23 or 24 and they were acting like children! As i walked into a fitting room one of them said "girls know girls, and thats a guy" i was so hurt that i couldnt help but cry a little while i was in the fitting room :( i did buy some clothes but now i dont feel like wearing them. I cant help but feel like a guy in a dress now after this. I thought girls were more compassionate but i guess it doesnt really matter who the person is they can still be jerks. It totally ruined my day
the younger ones tend not to be. I've actually had pictures taken of me in a public place like a store. I keep wondering if I'm going to turn up on People of Wal Mart
But that sort of stuff ALWAYS hits me from girls under 25. if the older ones think something they keep it to themselves.
Maybe they were amazed that someone they thought was male could look so good.
Quote from: Tammy Hope on October 20, 2011, 02:29:34 AM
the younger ones tend not to be. I've actually had pictures taken of me in a public place like a store. I keep wondering if I'm going to turn up on People of Wal Mart
My walmart is Indians and Filipinos. The other one is in a Mexican neighborhood. so not worried... Most of them have their own lives.
As for the OP, I would have known you were trans right away. Would i have pointed it out to my friends and been catty? Likely not. Maybe pointed it out to my b/f....I point out every trans person I see to him. But they were rude and cruel which was uncalled for.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 01:10:14 PMAs for the OP, I would have known you were trans right away...................Maybe pointed it out to my b/f....I point out every trans person I see to him.
I don't think what you said will make the OP feel any better...Just sayin'. Btw, why do you point out all transpeople to your bf? Does it give you some sort of satisfactory feeling? Or is point out the ->-bleeped-<- just a game you like to play?
Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 20, 2011, 01:28:02 PM
I don't think what you said will make the OP feel any better...Just sayin'. Btw, why do you point out all transpeople to your bf? Does it give you some sort of satisfactory feeling? Or is point out the ->-bleeped-<- just a game you like to play?
I think she's pretty though.
I point out everything to him. "That girl has blonde hair"... "look a blue car".... It doesn't give me any satisfactory feelings. He seems not to analyze everyone/thing he sees.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 01:31:57 PMHe seems not to analyze everyone/thing he sees.
That's probably a good thing. ;)
Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2011, 08:52:24 PM
hey everyone thanks for the support, ive had a couple of hours to get all the steam out. I was mostly angry today when that happened just because it was totally uncalled for. I mean what business is it of their's? Im there to shop just like everyone else and mind my own business, i just hate how people have to stick their nose into things that they know nothing about and people who they dont know.
Yeah. Venting is fine, especially when we've been mistreated by others just because they can. I'm glad you're choosing to look at it like this, it really is their issue and not yours in terms of who is behaving badly.
The bottom line to me is, "Am I gonna live how I want to live and feel I need to live to be happy, or am I going to let people like that derail my plans to be happy as myself?" I refuse to give them the pleasure of ruining my life, I'm going to do my thing! I'm glad you are empowering yourself.
QuoteAnyway as i was thinking today, ive decided that i want to opt for facial feminization. It's a bit drastic but i feel like that will help me pass way more. At this point in time i feel its more important than srs, even though the bits down there distress the hell out of me i think FF will help boost my confidence, especially socially.
I remember coming to similar conclusions early in my transition, although my results were better than I expected and so I changed my plan. It's important to maximize the impact of your available resources on your happiness, and frankly people see the face and interact with the face daily, whereas only you and a select few only ever get to see under your clothes. With all the changes nowadays where surgery is no longer being required for legal document changes, I think we have the option of focusing on things like face. If it empowers you and helps you to feel more comfortable as you, then go for it.
I don't think ffs is the option. But then again, I've only seen limited pics of you. I remember when I first started...I'd hear nasty things every once in awhile. I don't want to sound rude and tactless, but its part of being trans. It's still misunderstood by many people of both genders.
Being a gay man before, I knew if I dressed up too ->-bleeped-<-gy...I'd be insulted and people would laugh. I am not justifying the actions of the girls, that was totally inappropriote. But I remember complaining to my Aunt once about something and she said, "It's gonna happen, not everyone is going to understand what you're going through"
I just recommend going in there like you own the place. You could easily improve your makeup and you wouldn't need ffs though... Hormones would eventually kick in and do their thing.
Quote from: Joandelynn on October 20, 2011, 02:14:21 AM
Wow, "a gaggle of boppi bimbos", "airheads"? If you think like this about a bunch of young girls then you also shouldn't be complaining if they say something nasty about you.
Because they clocked someone and told her? I know it sucks, but this sounds like a total overreaction to me. Just shrug it off and try to improve your presentation if something like this happens to you, see it as a learning moment.
Quote from: Joandelynn on October 20, 2011, 02:14:21 AM
Wow, "a gaggle of boppi bimbos", "airheads"? If you think like this about a bunch of young girls then you also shouldn't be complaining if they say something nasty about you.
Because they clocked someone and told her? I know it sucks, but this sounds like a total overreaction to me. Just shrug it off and try to improve your presentation if something like this happens to you, see it as a learning moment.
Actually, i think its fair the opinion i have of them since they after all were the ones who were being rude and catty with me. Lastly If it happened to you i highly doubt you would find it easy to just shrug it off and go on with your day without feeling any effects. Maybe it should happen to you and see what you think about it.
It happens Elsa but stick to your guns we I go out sans makeup often now and still get called maam!
Quote from: Marie Simone on October 20, 2011, 10:36:03 PM
It happens Elsa but stick to your guns we I go out sans makeup often now and still get called maam!
Way to make the OP feel better.
But seriously Elsa, just be you.
that was catty of them but keep your chin up. Just snap back... I'll tell people that i'm a transitioning transgender women. If they want to know more and i'm not in a position to pass on the knowledge I tell them to look it up on friggin google and that i'm in a hurry. if someone's goal is to make fun of me for being trans, i tend to not waste my time further and distance myself as much as possible. Don't take it hard : ) be proud.
Elsa I can say it would be noticeable from seeing your face in a couple photos. Our opinions on how others would view you isn't going to be accurate though. The vast majority of people glancing by you in a store don't see numerous gender nonconformists and before-after photos on a daily basis, if ever. You also aren't so noticeable that these women could tell 100% that you weren't really a female, you are presentable and don't look like a drag-queen. If the only people commenting about you are immature teenagers, you certainly aren't alone, they likely proceeded to scoff at dozens of people that day due to weight, dress, age, or color.
So many people preach hairstyle and I agree that it's important. I have nothing bad to say about your hair on its own, it looks very stylish and healthy. I do however think it leaves your face exposed to cruel lighting conditions and forces you to rely on make-up to cover any perceived flaws. I'm not even stating it in a manner of passing, as your style could look much worse on GG's, and no amount of surgery would fix them. Maybe covering your face so that no one can see your eye color is excessive, but I as much as I hate bangs, hair in the face makes a big difference.
Quote from: Morrigan on October 20, 2011, 11:09:33 PM
You also aren't so noticeable that these women could tell 100% that you weren't really a female, you are presentable and don't look like a drag-queen.
Morrigan, people are observant and notice stuff. We're discussing that on the passing thread. I think there was something which set these young women off and they reacted to it. I don't think there are enough objective, honest critique on this board as well... I understand support, but I think we're all gonna work harder and project more confidence when criticized. If people want to grade me down on that comment.. fine, at least I am not creating false confidence.
On a side note:
What is wrong with looking like a drag queen? Most drag queens are more gorgeous than tgirls and gg alike IMHO. One of my coworkers told my Mom that I should be on drag race, because I look as good as Shangela and Carmen. No girl compares to Carmen Carrera...She's like Kim Kardashian + Eva Longoria x10. She isn't even real...and she is beyond beautiful.
Memphis has some of the best drag queens as well..
Oh don't tell me that, I'll have to go to Memphis, I'm so close right now! I feel these forums are part informational and part support group. Sometimes people don't want to be critiqued and it's hard to tell if not stated, so I try to balance between the two as best I can.
I don't have anything against drag queens, but there is a tendency to be very flashy and noticeable, even flaunting. That may not always be the case, but there is a markable difference in confidence and desire to fit in, comparing drag-queens to transgendered women. Trying to fit in as a woman in a women's store is more stressful and does not warrant a reaction like a drag queen boldly shopping in the same store does. Certainly the last thing she wants is a group of children giggling and making jokes, can the drag-queen say the same? I don't really know, when I equated my lifestyle to that of a drag-queen's, I didn't know transitioning was even a reality, and I certainly refused to ever leave the house.
Quote from: Morrigan on October 20, 2011, 11:50:46 PM
Oh don't tell me that, I'll have to go to Memphis, I'm so close right now! I feel these forums are part informational and part support group. Sometimes people don't want to be critiqued and it's hard to tell if not stated, so I try to balance between the two as best I can.
I don't have anything against drag queens, but there is a tendency to be very flashy and noticeable, even flaunting. That may not always be the case, but there is a markable difference in confidence and desire to fit in, comparing drag-queens to transgendered women. Trying to fit in as a woman in a women's store is more stressful and does not warrant a reaction like a drag queen boldly shopping in the same store does. Certainly the last thing she wants is a group of children giggling and making jokes, can the drag-queen say the same? I don't really know, when I equated my lifestyle to that of a drag-queen's, I didn't know transitioning was even a reality, and I certainly refused to ever leave the house.
Don't want to be critiqued? Cool. Then don't post in the "do I pass/will i pass/fabulous section"
But there has to be truth in balancing support. I don't believe in lying to people at all. Which is why I never reply on posts and critiques that are beyond help.
As for drag queens? GG's love drag queens. I think because they can see it for when it is, entertainment or the fact that most of those men make better women. At least a drag queen would have people telling her she's fabulous as opposed to a lot of the anti-makeup/anti style I see on this board.
Listen, maybe I am superficial... But oh well.. I am not gonna lie to these girls on the board. Makeup and style can be adjusted to fit any lifestyle.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 21, 2011, 12:02:35 AM
Don't want to be critiqued? Cool. Then don't post in the "do I pass/will i pass/fabulous section"
But there has to be truth in balancing support. I don't believe in lying to people at all. Which is why I never reply on posts and critiques that are beyond help.
As for drag queens? GG's love drag queens. I think because they can see it for when it is, entertainment or the fact that most of those men make better women. At least a drag queen would have people telling her she's fabulous as opposed to a lot of the anti-makeup/anti style I see on this board.
Listen, maybe I am superficial... But oh well.. I am not gonna lie to these girls on the board. Makeup and style can be adjusted to fit any lifestyle.
You are a bit Catty well .... More like mountain lion catty!
But that's beside the point, I go out in public with out makeup now and am call ma'am. (Meaning things do get better)
It will happen, you will get clocked from time to time. But life goes on so keep pushing for what you want.
As for you Mahsa, no is beyond help and maybe if you write a few kind words. you might inspire someone. Over all
what I see from you is a lot of self ego stroking and a alot of blowing your own horn!
So for all of us hopless cases!
Neener neener neener!
I would have hoped I was quick enough on the uptake to hit them with something like, "actually I'm a dyke and I think you're cute, you interested?"
Worked for me with a drunk woman in a pub!
Karen.
Quote from: Marie Simone on October 21, 2011, 07:30:34 AM
As for you Mahsa, no is beyond help and maybe if you write a few kind words. you might inspire someone. Over all
what I see from you is a lot of self ego stroking and a alot of blowing your own horn!
So for all of us hopless cases!
Neener neener neener!
How am I catty? Hardly. If I were catty, you'd know... Just blunt honest and don't associate who I am with self ego stroking. I've told plenty of the girls here I thought they were beautiful.
But it's cool...I can deal with being superficial in your eyes.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 21, 2011, 11:59:54 AM
How am I catty? Hardly. If I were catty, you'd know... Just blunt honest and don't associate who I am with self ego stroking. I've told plenty of the girls here I thought they were beautiful.
But it's cool...I can deal with being superficial in your eyes.
I don't see you as superficial. I see a few of your comments as superficial.
Frankly I am not so shallow a person to simply judge based on my first impression. Truly I hope you are a wonderfull person and that we end up being fast friends on Susan's place.
In point of Fact I should be the first to apologise as what I said was probably aggressive.
So "I'm sorry Mahsa"
Marie.
Quote from: Marie Simone on October 21, 2011, 04:00:41 PM
I don't see you as superficial. I see a few of your comments as superficial.
Frankly I am not so shallow a person to simply judge based on my first impression. Truly I hope you are a wonderfull person and that we end up being fast friends on Susan's place.
In point of Fact I should be the first to apologise as what I said was probably aggressive.
So "I'm sorry Mahsa"
Marie.
I know I am superficial
Actually you said what was on your mind and I disagreed. But thanks for the apology...
Else you are beautiful; don't let CAT CU**s mess up you shopping Bic**s. Hay here's a taught next time say I'll get my big sisters to kick all your A**es Behachs!!!!!!!!! I'll do it to!! Love the little goth girl
Plague
Whoa I thought I was the angriest goth girl around here, that takes the cake.
Threatening someone who popped your safe bubble doesn't serve you, it only proves that they got to you. That's possibly the very reaction they were coaxing out of you. Brandishing violence is a surefire way to get people out of your hair, Oh how often I think to resort to that, what with being 6'1" and crazily dressed. And how it works, but afterward there is little satisfaction. Now you've made a lasting memory in their minds about some disturbed trans girl, and they'll probably tell more people of their experience. It was an event they'd have probably forgotten if you ignored them.
Until the day that rude comments like this are considered hate crimes, you will have to rely on quick wit or sweet words to dispel the confrontation. You also have to take into consideration that you're not the only one being hurt here, your decisions have an effect on future opinions and legislations for LGBT individuals.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 11:35:20 PM
Morrigan, people are observant and notice stuff.
Strongly disagree. If people around these parts were observant I'd have been kicked out of the restroom so many times i'd have been banned from the store by now.
I don't pass to the very observant, but outside my hometown I'm hardly ever obviously read.
I've actually had a security guard voluntarily direct me to the ladies room a couple of times.
QuoteOh don't tell me that, I'll have to go to Memphis, I'm so close right now!
I live about 80 miles from Memphis (although on my budget it might as well be 800 miles) and have 6 or 8 of the local drag performers on my Facebook friends. though I've never met any of them in person.
I'm always trying to network with T-people in my part of the country.
My guess is that those girls wouldn't give a ->-bleeped-<- what you thought of them, why do you place them in such an elevated position?
Elsa,
How about posting pictures of yourself wearing the goods? We can then make positive comments to wash away the negative ones.
"Never fight fire with fire. It only creates ashes.... any fool knows you fight fire with water"
Love
Jenny
Actually I'm still cracking up over: I thought girls were more compassionate. Compared to what, the Waffen SS?
I mean a guy might beat you up, might even beat you so bad you're crippled, or even dead. But girls want to destroy their enemies socially, spiritually, morally and mentally. Ask any girl whoever crossed the 3 Heathers, or whoever the 'popular' girls in their school were and you'll find someone who has much deeper emotional scars than any guy who just got beat up.
I've had a bunch of male bosses who felt plenty of entitlement and privilege and were poster children for smug satisfaction, but I've never had a female boss in the corporate world who was not ruthless and vicious. It was never enough that they didn't like you, they made sure everyone didn't like you.
DGAF attitude is what everyone needs.
Takla I was trying to help. butdid meanto come off so harsh love your comment some people need a good ass kicking????
Don't others feelings stupid cu***.
Quote from: tekla on October 22, 2011, 12:59:39 PM
I've had a bunch of male bosses who felt plenty of entitlement and privilege and were poster children for smug satisfaction, but I've never had a female boss in the corporate world who was not ruthless and vicious. It was never enough that they didn't like you, they made sure everyone didn't like you.
Had that happen to me before and it hurt really bad. Since the guys were homophobic and I was just starting out. The girl was the ultimate alpha male.
As someone who works in SF's Union Square cosmetic industry. I know my place.. Most transgirls in the industry know that we're just considered gay boys in dresses to the girls. It sucks...
People can be mean no matter what the age or gender. People in their twenties can be as immature as any five year old. Just ignore them. You're stronger than that. I'm sure you looked fabulous in the clothes. Wear them with pride! :)
Elsa,
I'm so sorry this happened. People can be very cruel. When I first started transitioning, I had some girls laugh at me when I was at the mall and it really hurt. I even had my own endocrinologist ask me if I was planning on getting FFS without me even asking for his opinion. As a 16 year old, that was a very hard pill to swallow. I critiqued my face after that point and didn't look at myself the same way again. But soon after, I realized that I thought myself to be beautiful nonetheless, and passing shouldn't be a number one priority, rather, you should simply be comfortable in your own skin. If FFS would make you more comfortable, go for it, but do it for you, not for those rude bimbos.
I can't agree that bimbo is a sexist term, even if it's generally used for females.
"Bimbo is a popular English language usage describes a woman who is physically attractive but is perceived to have a low intelligence or poor education."
I believe these girls do in fact have poor education.
Meh! You'll see trolls like that every now and then. Don't let the plastics get you down. I'll bet that their combined I.Q. was less than your shoe size.
Quote from: Keaira on October 23, 2011, 12:45:30 PM
Meh! You'll see trolls like that every now and then. Don't let the plastics get you down. I'll bet that their combined I.Q. was less than your shoe size.
I think people are unfortunately gonna say what they are gonna say. I think until trans people reach the same mainstream acceptance as gays, some of us will have to deal with it.
Look go on this thread about Claudia Charriez:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg444.imageshack.us%2Fimg444%2F7681%2Fclaudia2yu1.jpg&hash=c76a2eac799d83a2e1620228594d0c989b33b6a6)
http://www.battleforums.com/forums/chat-discuss/124644-claudia-charriez.html (http://www.battleforums.com/forums/chat-discuss/124644-claudia-charriez.html)
And you'll see the "ugly", "she's a man", "he/she/it" comments are there and she looks like a model. It's just part of how people are. It's wrong... But I am afraid there's nothing we can do.
Part of being who you are and growing in your identity is experiencing trials and tribulations. It makes us stronger and makes us want to improve... It is part of growing as a human being.
As a crossdresser, I am also sometimes clocked by girls. After trial and erros, I have learned how to present myself well as a woman. Keep in mind that presenting yourself as an opposite gender requires practice and trial and errors.
Some of my stories. I sometimes share women's rest rooom with other women who knows very well that I am a biological man. They just accept it after making some jokes.
I tended to wear very bold and unfashionable clothes, but later I learned a little bit how to wear properly as a woman. In my country, people can clock me by my height alone as women:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi943.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad278%2Fbarbie_pictures%2Fattention.jpg&hash=0cf0859159f232a5ffc750d6483de204a5b5fb2f)
Nevertheless, people do not care so much about me in big cities where there are many tall young women. Still, I look very striking, attracting people attention around the world. I do not think my height is the major factor. For example, in Russia last week, in Poland a few weeks ago, and in Germany several months ago, people still looked at me while I ran outdoors, although there were a bunch of tall women in the street.
When I shop, I have no alternative but to talk with sales women, revealing my manly voice. Still, those ladies are very kind, and their last comment is like "wearing it prettily".
And, finally my photo at Nashville that an old woman in the street there took for me:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi943.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad278%2Fbarbie_pictures%2FNashville%2F20090902_26s.jpg&hash=6521eb05962f5c3d139be2fd134bd1ddd880eb30)
Of course, some drivers in the car there also paid attention to me.
Barbie~~
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 23, 2011, 02:59:53 PM
I think people are unfortunately gonna say what they are gonna say. I think until trans people reach the same mainstream acceptance as gays, some of us will have to deal with it.
Look go on this thread about Claudia Charriez:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg444.imageshack.us%2Fimg444%2F7681%2Fclaudia2yu1.jpg&hash=c76a2eac799d83a2e1620228594d0c989b33b6a6)
http://www.battleforums.com/forums/chat-discuss/124644-claudia-charriez.html (http://www.battleforums.com/forums/chat-discuss/124644-claudia-charriez.html)
And you'll see the "ugly", "she's a man", "he/she/it" comments are there and she looks like a model. It's just part of how people are. It's wrong... But I am afraid there's nothing we can do.
Part of being who you are and growing in your identity is experiencing trials and tribulations. It makes us stronger and makes us want to improve... It is part of growing as a human being.
I read a few comments and had to stop, they are pathetic and hateful. She is definitely beautiful and the haters are insane. :laugh: People are weird. :-\
Quote from: Hermione01 on October 24, 2011, 02:55:49 AM
I read a few comments and had to stop, they are pathetic and hateful. She is definitely beautiful and the haters are insane. :laugh: People are weird. :-\
Well thats how people see us and I hate being called an "it" now I look nothing but "she". It took two and half years to get there, but here I am now.
But we all start out...two and half years ago and I look perfect(in my eyes)... One thing to understand about transition is that its an evolution. People are unfortunately going to say crap during the changing process.
8 months is just the beginning Elsa.G...don't cry. To quote Dan Savage, "It's gunna get better hun"
People who make such comments are not men. They are dysfunctional people who think that other people are for their gratification. Mostly they are so warped that they have never been with a woman in their lives and probably never will. Their comments are really directed at themselves. Inadequate and non-accepting. I think people with that attitude should go into yoga training, eventually they may get flexible enough to be able to give themselves oral sex. And no doubt most of them will worry about getting pregnant. ::) ::)
Intolerance begets Intolerance. Love begets Love.
JMHO
Cindy