Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: PandaValentine on October 24, 2011, 06:44:24 PM

Title: Again with the F or M
Post by: PandaValentine on October 24, 2011, 06:44:24 PM
I am signing up for school, and have to get this appointment with an assessment counselor. Thing is I'm holding a registration form where I just filled out 'JACOB VALENTINE' - my legal name, and I don't want to tick the little F box. I think this is quite possibly the most problematic thing for me, with being trans. I hate constantly having to worry about it. I'm not quite sure about rules in Canada for F or M on school documents. I know my transcripts will all say FEMALE but are also under my birth name... I need these transcripts to say male because if I join the CF I have to show them my transcripts and I don't want F on them, which would give me away as trans, when I don't necessarily need to do that! I don't like being outed by documents, if I want to tell people, I like to do it with my mouth (that sounds so dirty in my mind, lol)!

I don't know how many times I've posted on here about this issue. I remember once with Census, once with a jury duty questionnaire, and every time I risk doing something that's not legal, and I worry about that, but this time I have to sit in a room with this person and hope they are trans friendly and not going to refuse such document changes. The other time there was no people to look in the eye and worry about things with, though I still excessively worry. What to do? Leave it blank? Pick male? If I leave it blank I risk him/her ticking it and being too nervous to speak up, or if I pick Male I face confrontation that could result in some ->-bleeped-<- remarks, which I'm never truly prepared for. I have serious obsessive issues, lol.
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: anibioman on October 24, 2011, 07:49:57 PM
i have the same problem i was taking a state test and you had to check male or female... i left it blank. also my psych assessment i checked male because it said "gender" so yeah, i feel you.
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: Leek on October 24, 2011, 08:07:47 PM
Personally, I usually try to leave it blank or I tick "decline to answer" (if they have that option) because I don't think my gender or sex is the business of either the government or most corporations (Things like health insurance makes sense, considering the physical reality of different sex organs and the like, but just about anything else...). Seriously, most forms that ask, I'm just left thinking: Why the heck do they need to know?

Same with race, and for the same reasons. If there was a space for "none of your damned business, you racists" under the "race" category on government forms, I would tick it. But I digress.

If someone comes back and tells me I forgot to fill that part out / have to fill it out, then I tick "male." I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Would I really ever be arrested or fined for something like that? Unlikely, and even if it was likely, the argument that I self-identify as male could always be used against any suggestion that I was knowingly lying about my gender.

EDIT: Nevermind.
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: JohnAlex on October 24, 2011, 09:28:36 PM
I've not had any experience with this, but I would try filling in male.  And then, if anyone confronts you about it, like, "You're not allowed to do that if you're legally female."  Then I'd just be like, "Oh, sorry, didn't know." 
Basically, I wouldn't be worried about getting in trouble.  Although, it's true you could run into someone who wants to be an ->-bleeped-<- about it.
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: PandaValentine on October 25, 2011, 09:51:55 AM
LOL, if I ever get race again, I'm going to put Alien. I've only got it once or twice, never had the idea until now. :)

It doesn't say sex or gender on this though, just M or F.

Ah ->-bleeped-<- it, I'm putting M! - Watch me worry about it for days now though, LOL!
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: El Capitan on October 25, 2011, 12:06:56 PM
Quote from: JayValentine on October 24, 2011, 06:44:24 PM
I am signing up for school, and have to get this appointment with an assessment counselor. Thing is I'm holding a registration form where I just filled out 'JACOB VALENTINE' - my legal name, and I don't want to tick the little F box. I think this is quite possibly the most problematic thing for me, with being trans. I hate constantly having to worry about it. I'm not quite sure about rules in Canada for F or M on school documents. I know my transcripts will all say FEMALE but are also under my birth name... I need these transcripts to say male because if I join the CF I have to show them my transcripts and I don't want F on them, which would give me away as trans, when I don't necessarily need to do that! I don't like being outed by documents, if I want to tell people, I like to do it with my mouth (that sounds so dirty in my mind, lol)!

I don't know how many times I've posted on here about this issue. I remember once with Census, once with a jury duty questionnaire, and every time I risk doing something that's not legal, and I worry about that, but this time I have to sit in a room with this person and hope they are trans friendly and not going to refuse such document changes. The other time there was no people to look in the eye and worry about things with, though I still excessively worry. What to do? Leave it blank? Pick male? If I leave it blank I risk him/her ticking it and being too nervous to speak up, or if I pick Male I face confrontation that could result in some ->-bleeped-<- remarks, which I'm never truly prepared for. I have serious obsessive issues, lol.

Sorry, I can't really help witht he actual issue but i just wanted to say that Jacob/ Jay valentine is an awesome name dude
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: LilDevilOfPrada on October 25, 2011, 01:00:00 PM
my country has a test of intelligence test that's offered to schools nation wide :) hehe and i ticked F and when i made it to the second last round they disqualified me which sucks and my school went so mad agro one me it was crazy !!  :) but yea gender blocks suck !
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: emil on October 25, 2011, 01:57:06 PM
that's because IQs are calculated differently depending on your age and, I believe, sex.
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: LilDevilOfPrada on October 25, 2011, 02:10:47 PM
Quote from: emil on October 25, 2011, 01:57:06 PM
that's because IQs are calculated differently depending on your age and, I believe, sex.

actually there reason was for giving fake information

:) but its not a IQ test its a maths English and which ever subjects you want at the highest level . for instance i did the maths one and they at the 3rd last round  they asked me 3rd and 4th  year university grade maths its out of 20 marks and had 4 questions i literally passed by half a mark :)  luck is what i call that :)
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: Leek on October 25, 2011, 03:07:42 PM
Quote from: emil on October 25, 2011, 01:57:06 PM
that's because IQs are calculated differently depending on your age and, I believe, sex.

Nah. While a standard IQ test does take age into account, no, it does not take sex into account. (Though it would be funny if it did to give the dumber sex a handicap. i.e. A woman's IQ of 130 would be equal to a man's IQ of 160 or vice versa. Lol.)
Title: Re: Again with the F or M
Post by: Felix on October 25, 2011, 03:23:45 PM
I used to do medical research, and I was told I would get my grant funding withdrawn if I didn't go back and get birth years and race data on my human subjects. Some of them were quite offended, especially at the idea of having to pick "other" if they were mixed race. It's a tangly thing, but it was an alzheimer's study, and age, sex, and genetic makeup are valid categories for figuring prevalence and such.

I still panic every time I get to F or M when I fill out paperwork. I tend to tick different boxes depending on who the paperwork is for. My government insurance, F, and most other government stuff also F because it's a bunch of connected files that have to match if there's an audit. M for any agency or company that doesn't have the power to bureaucratically ruin my life.