It seems to me that MTF's are more "catty" than FTM's...JK! lol I don't want anyone attacking me! The reason I post on this section rather than FTM is because it seems like FTM's brush things off more. In the posts I have seen there doesn't seem to be arguing going on. Everyone sort of takes each other's comments with a grain of salt. There is an exception. This person seems to have a habit of doing it but whatever. If you're easily offended, no one has a gun to your head telling you to reath the thread or even respond to it!
Back to the reason I posted on here. I saw a post about why MTF's act like gay men...Why were people so offended? It is just one person's opinion. If you don't like it, don't read it, respond to it. Just ignore it. There are plenty of other threads. Opinion is not fact. That being said, if someone says something "ignorant" I would hope that someone is intelligent enough to realize that they shouldn't listen to that person. People are going to say things we don't like the rest of our lives. Learn to brush things off!
I swear, this is NOT meant to offend anyone. Though I know it will. I just think this forum is meant for people to share ideas/experiences/emotions. And no everyone is going to share the same exact things.
I've noticed it throughout the whole forum not just on the MTF section. I've been called transphobic here before. Can you believe that? I think some trans people are overprotective of themselves because they deal with a lot of ->-bleeped-<- in the real world and expect 'better' from us.
But we all start somewhere. If we just came out we're not going to know all the right words and either way give us a break.
Quote from: Da Monkey on November 03, 2011, 07:29:22 AM
I've noticed it throughout the whole forum not just on the MTF section. I've been called transphobic here before. Can you believe that? I think some trans people are overprotective of themselves because they deal with a lot of ->-bleeped-<- in the real world and expect 'better' from us.
But we all start somewhere. If we just came out we're not going to know all the right words and either way give us a break.
I haven't really gone out of the FTM/MTF sections so I can't really say it about other sections but yeah I have seen the word transphobic way too many times!
At the end of the way, people shouldn't have to feel like they have to walk on glass so they can protect other peoples' feelings. I know that might seem mean but it's the truth. I DO NOT agree with intentionally hurting/offending someone. But if your comment is not meant to be hurtful, then people just need to accept it and get over it. Like you said, not everyone knows all the "right" words (I use quotes because in my opinion there is no such thing.)
I've noticed these things as well, and I do find it kind of amusing ...
A lot of people seem to play right into their gender stereotypes. We've got a lot of catty women and calm guys here.
Quote from: Lynn on November 03, 2011, 07:37:03 AM
I've noticed these things as well, and I do find it kind of amusing ...
A lot of people seem to play right into their gender stereotypes. We've got a lot of catty women and calm guys here.
Lol yeah! I agree. I think maybe the ones that are extremely offended by the comments are secretly feeling like that stereotype and they don't like to hear it!
Either way, it's amazing how even though people will say words like "some" or "my" implying they are talking solely about THEIR experiences/thoughts/ideas people will STILL frekin twist things around and act like they are saying it about every person
Quote from: Nick on November 03, 2011, 07:09:05 AM
It seems to me that MTF's are more "catty" than FTM's...JK! lol I don't want anyone attacking me! The reason I post on this section rather than FTM is because it seems like FTM's brush things off more. In the posts I have seen there doesn't seem to be arguing going on. Everyone sort of takes each other's comments with a grain of salt. There is an exception. This person seems to have a habit of doing it but whatever. If you're easily offended, no one has a gun to your head telling you to reath the thread or even respond to it!
Back to the reason I posted on here. I saw a post about why MTF's act like gay men...Why were people so offended? It is just one person's opinion. If you don't like it, don't read it, respond to it. Just ignore it. There are plenty of other threads. Opinion is not fact. That being said, if someone says something "ignorant" I would hope that someone is intelligent enough to realize that they shouldn't listen to that person. People are going to say things we don't like the rest of our lives. Learn to brush things off!
I swear, this is NOT meant to offend anyone. Though I know it will. I just think this forum is meant for people to share ideas/experiences/emotions. And no everyone is going to share the same exact things.
AMEN!!!
Dear oh dear,
must be the changing of the seasons?
I NEVER got as flamed as I did on the FtM thread some time ago (3 month? +).
There are SO many WORDS disallowed on THAT side, it needs a dictionary of no-nos and one for acceptable terms such as AFAB and what else not!
female, vagina, clitoris, breasts, girl, woman, penetration, etc... anything female or reminiscent is totally OUT and prone to cause some major offence to someone there.
So, if on the MtF side some folks go wagging their great, large, fantastic, 8" penises, what would you expect to happen? Just let's be real here.
Now hang in there for a while and then see what you think then,
Axelle
PS: I'm done since month posting anything on the FtM thread, so that's maybe why there is less flaming going on also?
PPS: I'm quite sure I'm not the only person that decided to leave those folks to their own.
PPPS: Those FtMs that post on the MtF side seem to be more at ease and I have had no issues with ANY of them personally, ever.
I get insulted for giving constructive comments in the pics threads at the top (do i pass, etc)... so i just gave up on posting there unless i have something positive to say. What's the point of having a Do I Pass thread if you get insulteld if you dare say something negative?
I totally understand that confidence is great and all, but when someone obviously doesn't pass and you can't even say otherwise, i think it's going to take a much bigger toll on them later when they called out by strangers outside, etc (and it can sometimes get really dangerous outside with strangers, i don't know if anyone here realizes that they could be causing people to get beaten up only because they didn't want to hurt someone's feelings)
Quote from: J S on November 03, 2011, 08:15:18 AM
I get insulted for giving constructive comments in the pics threads at the top (do i pass, etc)... so i just gave up on posting there unless i have something positive to say. What's the point of having a Do I Pass thread if you get insulteld if you dare say something negative?
I agree. I mean, as long as you're not insulting anybody. As the saying goes, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Quote from: J S on November 03, 2011, 08:15:18 AM
I get insulted for giving constructive comments in the pics threads at the top (do i pass, etc)... so i just gave up on posting there unless i have something positive to say. What's the point of having a Do I Pass thread if you get insulteld if you dare say something negative?
I totally understand that confidence is great and all, but when someone obviously doesn't pass and you can't even say otherwise, i think it's going to take a much bigger toll on them later when they called out by strangers outside, etc (and it can sometimes get really dangerous outside with strangers, i don't know if anyone here realizes that they could be causing people to get beaten up only because they didn't want to hurt someone's feelings)
It's a "Do I Pass" thread not a "Do I Pass (Say yes and tell me I'm pretty or you will be shunned and scolded)" thread lol
Honestly, I see it as people just wanting to get told they look good. Not really wanting to know if they pass. Chances are if you pass, you KNOW it. But when you're putting yourself out there like that, expect for all sorts of comments.
i never insult anyone. the worst i've said is "maybe give hrt a bit longer" or things like "you dont pass right now, but with longer hair you could"... and then everyone gangs against me, but i just gave up on posting there so it's all good. i guess it makes people happy.
Quote from: J S on November 03, 2011, 08:32:42 AM
i never insult anyone. the worst i've said is "maybe give hrt a bit longer" or things like "you dont pass right now, but with longer hair you could"... and then everyone gangs against me, but i just gave up on posting there so it's all good. i guess it makes people happy.
That's not even mean...I don't get it. You are actually trying to help them. Lying to me isn't helping. But like you said, maybe they just need to be happy and this is the little boost they need
Quote from: J S on November 03, 2011, 08:32:42 AM
i never insult anyone. the worst i've said is "maybe give hrt a bit longer" or things like "you dont pass right now, but with longer hair you could"... and then everyone gangs against me, but i just gave up on posting there so it's all good. i guess it makes people happy.
I say, as long as people continue to post pictures, continue to voice your opinion.
Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 03, 2011, 08:51:59 AM
I say, as long as people continue to post pictures, continue to voice your opinion.
Agreed. I've posted quite often when I don't think a person passes, and no one gets angry at me. Maybe things have changed from now and then?
Nick,
I agree with you. I have experience such a vast difference between ftm and mtf when it comes to "managing one's Zen." FTM seems to have better control of it than MTF. And HRT doesn't have anything to do it in my opinion (sometimes people contribute HRT to this phenomena). But I think it is where the longer someone is immerse int he trans culture, the "cattier" they will be.
It's not just on the internet either. I've been to support groups that was pretty much a pissing contest over the most silliest things. I've been to Southern Comfort where many girls I ran into were just catty too. Now, I certainly met calmer women at this conference but the ones who were wound up tight were vastly greater in number.
From what I have experienced, when FTM are posed with a situation they go "meh whatever, bro." If a MTF is posed with the same type of situation it's like someone shipped crates of dynamite in the room and wants to take out the place.
Quote from: Annah on November 03, 2011, 09:11:51 AM
Nick,
I agree with you. I have experience such a vast difference between ftm and mtf when it comes to "managing one's Zen." FTM seems to have better control of it than MTF. And HRT doesn't have anything to do it in my opinion (sometimes people contribute HRT to this phenomena). But I think it is where the longer someone is immerse int he trans culture, the "cattier" they will be.
It's not just on the internet either. I've been to support groups that was pretty much a pissing contest over the most silliest things. I've been to Southern Comfort where many girls I ran into were just catty too. Now, I certainly met calmer women at this conference but the ones who were wound up tight were vastly greater in number.
From what I have experienced, when FTM are posed with a situation they go "meh whatever, bro." If a MTF is posed with the same type of situation it's like someone shipped crates of dynamite in the room and wants to take out the place.
Definitely agree. I don't think it has anything to do with hormones. Just with one's personality. But the "cattier" award kinda goes to the MTF's lol Personally I think being sassy and standing up for yourself is awesome. But when you take yourself too seriously is when it becomes an issue. You'd think that because FTM's are guys they'd be the ones "exploding" and having the rage. I think one thing that contributes to this is the fact that people think testosterone is going to make you an angry beast so you have to show how much control you have over it and just be calm? I don't know if that made sense but I think that people do associate testosterone with aggression and to a certain extent FTM's have to show that they are in fact in control. Again, none of this is fact, just opinion! :)
Quote from: Nick on November 03, 2011, 07:09:05 AM
Back to the reason I posted on here. I saw a post about why MTF's act like gay men...Why were people so offended? It is just one person's opinion. If you don't like it, don't read it, respond to it. Just ignore it. There are plenty of other threads. Opinion is not fact. That being said, if someone says something "ignorant" I would hope that someone is intelligent enough to realize that they shouldn't listen to that person. People are going to say things we don't like the rest of our lives. Learn to brush things off!
I swear, this is NOT meant to offend anyone. Though I know it will. I just think this forum is meant for people to share ideas/experiences/emotions. And no everyone is going to share the same exact things.
The tread was bigoted , specificlly anti-gay, from the beginning.
just letting it go, doesn't change anything and it WAS meant to offend gay people.
Quote from: amanda barber on November 03, 2011, 10:22:42 AM
The tread was bigoted , specificlly anti-gay, from the beginning.
just letting it go, doesn't change anything and it WAS meant to offend gay people.
Not at all, actually. I'm sorry you took it that way.
Quote from: amanda barber on November 03, 2011, 10:22:42 AM
The tread was bigoted , specificlly anti-gay, from the beginning.
just letting it go, doesn't change anything and it WAS meant to offend gay people.
It is really unfair to say it was meant to offend when she did not say ALL just some and apart from that, most of us have associated ourselves with the LGB community for a huge amount of time. We felt that same prejudice/ignorance from others. We are all on the same boat. And she never said all gays are like that.
Holding a grudge won't do anything.
Everyone needs to watch this video. It fits this topic perfectly. I hope it doesn't offend anyone...
Everything Is Offensive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwoqzb5R6vw#)
Awesome video!
I feel as if transgender people should hold themselves to a high standard of respect when dealing with each other. After all, if we don't set the example for everyone else, who will? Anything less is helping to perpetuate the degradation of us as a group by making it seem "ok."
If you say something insensitive on a forum meant to be an example of respectful all-inclusiveness and welcome, you're going to get nailed for it.
I think everyone on here needs to relax and get high or get drunk. :icon_bong: :icon_drunk:
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 03, 2011, 03:29:39 PM
I think everyone on here needs to relax and get high or get drunk. :icon_bong: :icon_drunk:
That's the only sensible solution for anything!
In the real world we gage our response depending who is saying what. We do not have that advantage in the internet. For example: I would not discuss the morality of prostitution in harsh term with an ex or current prostitute, right? But here I do not know your background, and by the time I realize you are an ex or current prostitute, well to late, and my harsh statements come across offensive. Some people here are pretty "kookier" too.
Jen61
this is an open website support group... everyone thinks differently and as far as i know the site is about voicing your opinion... weather or not others agree with that opinion and weather not it is morally right or not is not our place to judge... and if you find someone's opinion offensive you can state that you don't like that, or you'd prefer they'd not talk about that, but you should not just flip out on someone because they have an opinion... you can not make someone who likes chocolate change their mind for you and like caramel just because you don't like chocolate :-\
[lol, that was a terrible comparison, but wutev'z :P ]
Quote from: Axélle on November 03, 2011, 08:06:13 AM
So, if on the MtF side some folks go wagging their great, large, fantastic, 8" penises, what would you expect to happen? Just let's be real here.
You talkin about me?
Perhaps it's the function of the crazy amounts of Estrogen hitting our blood streams?
I mean, for all intents and purposes we have the hormone levels of teenage girls (And just about as much experience.)'
Seriously though, has anyone ever sat in on a conversation with a bunch of GG girls? They'll go from 'I love that sweater. So cute!' to 'She looks like trailer trash in that garbage' in a matter of thirty seconds. My best guess is that everyone in the FTM section is practicing for real life haha.
Quote from: Wavooka on November 04, 2011, 12:47:45 AM
Perhaps it's the function of the crazy amounts of Estrogen hitting our blood streams?
I mean, for all intents and purposes we have the hormone levels of teenage girls (And just about as much experience.)'
Seriously though, has anyone ever sat in on a conversation with a bunch of GG girls? They'll go from 'I love that sweater. So cute!' to 'She looks like trailer trash in that garbage' in a matter of thirty seconds. My best guess is that everyone in the FTM section is practicing for real life haha.
I am Coco Chanel!
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 04, 2011, 01:15:19 AM
I am Coco Chanel!
Does not recognizing/caring about that name make me less valid as a woman? I'm under the impression that most gg's are in love with her?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 04, 2011, 01:15:19 AM
I am Coco Chanel!
Out of context twice today, once with (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-signs011.gif&hash=0036ba210d82f3ad5a6a3e4b957df531fe197656) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) poster. Lets all take it easy!
Joelene
Quote from: Joelene9 on November 04, 2011, 01:48:27 AM
Out of context twice today, once with (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-signs011.gif&hash=0036ba210d82f3ad5a6a3e4b957df531fe197656) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) poster. Lets all take it easy!
Joelene
How about we smell some pixie dust and dance to Silver Machine.
I've been around here for sometime, and it seems just recent that the forums are getting more and more hostile.
Hi people,
There has always been people getting offended, and reading things the wrong way. We all need to relax a bit and remember this is a support site. I think there has been a bit of retaliation going on which is what drives more retaliation.
If someone sees a thread that upsets them do three things, report it to a Mod, don't respond to people being offensive to you, stop reading that thread.
Cindy.
ITT: http://www.bilerico.com/2009/03/what_transmisogyny_looks_like.php (http://www.bilerico.com/2009/03/what_transmisogyny_looks_like.php)
Quote from: Tyler on November 04, 2011, 02:19:48 AM
I've been around here for sometime, and it seems just recent that the forums are getting more and more hostile.
I conquer.
Quote from: Cindy James on November 04, 2011, 03:50:57 AM
You conquer or you concur ?
A little from column A
A little from column B
Y'see there's two ways to do things in life...the right way, the wrong way, and the Miki way.
I don't disagree but it's understandable that some/many/almost all (take your pick) are overly defensive seeing as it's not exactly the most callous subject.
It's just a matter of being tactful but open as to not lead to misinterpretations, and if someone blows their lid then I guess that's their problem. I'll tend to explain what I was trying to convey once more after that, well, they can try to deal with it.
also I think this hits the nail on the head for many that I have met ~ http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244 (http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244)
Myself personally I actually enjoy a good ribbing (joke not a condom I swear someone would make the comment) because I understand the best way to be comfortable with something is to laugh about it.
Quote from: Sam(my)I am on November 04, 2011, 04:29:12 AM
I don't disagree but it's understandable that some/many/almost all (take your pick) are overly defensive seeing as it's not exactly the most callous subject.
It's just a matter of being tactful but open as to not lead to misinterpretations, and if someone blows their lid then I guess that's their problem. I'll tend to explain what I was trying to convey once more after that, well, they can try to deal with it.
also I think this hits the nail on the head for many that I have met ~ http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244 (http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244)
Myself personally I actually enjoy a good ribbing (joke not a condom I swear someone would make the comment) because I understand the best way to be comfortable with something is to laugh about it.
Thank You
The most intelligent post I have seen on the problem for many years.
Cindy
Quote from: Cindy James on November 04, 2011, 04:33:01 AM
Thank You
The most intelligent post I have seen on the problem for many years.
Cindy
Oh, er, why thanks ^^ means a lot coming from you Cindy :), honestly though I probably could have worded it better but then it'd be less short sweet and to the point.
Quote from: Sam(my)I am on November 04, 2011, 04:29:12 AM
also I think this hits the nail on the head for many that I have met ~ http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244 (http://transgirldiaries.com/?p=1244)
Myself personally I actually enjoy a good ribbing (joke not a condom I swear someone would make the comment) because I understand the best way to be comfortable with something is to laugh about it.
Hahahahah yesss I so agree. I found that making jokes about myself being trans made my family WAY more comfortable rather than screaming down their throats whenever they tried to challenge me on it or when they just totally didn't understand it.
I am glad I am not the only one who thinks some trans people need to chill out. I have a trans friend who I used to work with who would flip his ->-bleeped-<- at co-workers when they genuinely misgendered him so much that when they did the same to me they apologised so many times and looked terrified. I was like woah it's okay I don't care.
Just remember you're doing this for you, you're not doing it for anyone else.
I joke about being trans all the time when I'm around people who know; I think it's funny, especially in certain situations.
But there's an obvious difference between making lighthearted jokes and deliberately insulting someone else.
Quote from: Butterflyhugs on November 04, 2011, 09:39:14 AM
I joke about being trans all the time when I'm around people who know; I think it's funny, especially in certain situations.
But there's an obvious difference between making lighthearted jokes and deliberately insulting someone else.
totally agree. I have a friend who is an administrator for my Seminary. We lightheartedly make fun of each other all the time. She calls me the ugly ->-bleeped-<- and I call her the lesbian who is too afraid to come out of the closet. It's all in good jest.
The nature in which someone talks to you makes all the difference in the world if they are just joking around or if they are simply being destructive.
Me and my friends were buzzed and talking about who would all die if we were in a horror movie.
Everyone picked on me and said I'd just be like the random black guy who always gets killed, because "no one takes ->-bleeped-<-s seriously"
i laughed for about 10 minutes straight :laugh:
Quote from: JoeyD on November 04, 2011, 12:52:31 PM
Me and my friends were buzzed and talking about who would all die if we were in a horror movie.
Everyone picked on me and said I'd just be like the random black guy who always gets killed, because "no one takes ->-bleeped-<-s seriously"
i laughed for about 10 minutes straight :laugh:
lol for some reason that just cracks me up I'm imagining a trans girl in all the movies I've seen with a sacrificial black guy and let me tell you the image is just soooo funny such as "Core" XD
but on a humerus/serious note if no one took us seriously then whats all this hoopla with some of the religions throwing scriptures at us?
If it's "just some crazed person" then why even get huffy about it? (food for thought :P)
Because the same "values" that "crazy person" is referencing are institutionalized in our governments and continually used to relegate us to the lowest classes of existence?
Most of the time I'm the one doing the offending... I had no idea my lifestyle could offend people so.
As I always say, "it's not easy being green"
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 04, 2011, 01:38:54 PM
Most of the time I'm the one doing the offending... I had no idea my lifestyle could offend people so.
As I always say, "it's not easy being green"
Jolly Green Giant?
Quote from: Sam(my)I am on November 05, 2011, 04:13:58 AM
Jolly Green Giant?
Nothing sexual about that. Rite of Spring is next spring if my estimations are correct.
Quote from: Lynn on November 03, 2011, 07:37:03 AM
I've noticed these things as well, and I do find it kind of amusing ...
A lot of people seem to play right into their gender stereotypes. We've got a lot of catty women and calm guys here.
MEOW. LOL
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 05, 2011, 04:21:59 AM
Nothing sexual about that. Rite of Spring is next spring if my estimations are correct.
hrm rite of spring... why's that sound familiar? .... maybe it had to do with my ex gf she was a Wicca (Wiccan?)
lol Winter88 XD
though I've always been calm eerily so by some... :P
I loved the video!!!
I am offended each time someone calls me a Christian, I am a follower of Yeshuaa, Jesus Christ, literally translates into The Anointed Messiah Yeshuaa.
No really Christianity, literally translates into Followers of the Anointed One Jesus.
So I am a woman does that mean I can be offended because I was born male?
The only thing we should have the innate right to be offended with, is when anyone steals our future and lively hood all in the name of globalization and the moral majority or the 1%.
Quote from: Butterflyhugs on November 04, 2011, 09:39:14 AM
I joke about being trans all the time when I'm around people who know; I think it's funny, especially in certain situations.
But there's an obvious difference between making lighthearted jokes and deliberately insulting someone else.
Just the other day (fetching a paper for her in the rain across campus):
Girlie: Do you want an umbrella? Or my boots?
Me: What do I look like to you, a girl? (See: Puzzled expression.)