Okay so I'm young and my parents decided that I should start transitioning now so what I need to know is how to find a therapists? How much money it will cost for a therapists? Also if i start now would I be able to chsnge my name and sex for senior year I am a junior now? Also what are the good things of the full transition and what are the bad things about it? Would I be recognized as a girl or guy still also my dad said if I was to get arrested for dui would I be in a mens jail cell or guys? And after the full transition if you joined the army could they tell the difference when they do physical examination of a natal vagina and the transitioned one? If they can't tell will I have successfully made it in the army or would it come back to get me
I've been reading many of your posts lately, and what I'm going to respond to this post with I assure you is not meant to be offensive. Your posts contain the same questions asked over and over, and people respond over and over telling you their answers, yet the answers do not seem to satisfy you, as the question is asked again in future posts. I will answer your questions this time as well as I can, so please read thoroughly.
First of all, congratulations on having your parents support your transition, that's awesome. As for finding a therapist, if you have a local LGBT Center, they could possibly recommend a therapist to you. You need to be sure the therapist you see deals with gender issues specifically; do not see a general therapist as they will more than likely try to "fix" you before helping you. If you do not have a local LGBT Center, perhaps search the internet for gender therapists in your city/state. As for the cost of the therapist, that is something you'll need to ask the therapist you wish to see. For reference, however, my therapist charged $60 per 50 minute session.
As for changing your name; if you are under the age of 18, you will need your parents consent to change your name legally. Each state has different requirements for legally changing a name, so you'll need to review your specific state laws to see what all is involved and required. I cannot say whether you could have a legal name change by time you are a senior (re-read this paragraph as for the reasoning).
The good things and bad things about transitioning? That's specific to each person. For some, friends and family members are lost. For some, the social side of it (passing) causes further/less dysphoria and concerns. For some, physical side affects from HRT cause issues. For some, none of the above happen/concern them and they're just fine. My point is, we all are different in our transitions; as far as my opinion goes, no two transitions are the same. Everyone feels differently, reacts differently and looks differently. Overall, however, I feel we can all agree that the best thing and the main focus of transition is that it is a good thing because it calms our dysphoria and allows us to be our true self.
As for getting arrested for a DUI and which cell you'd be in, is that something you really have to worry yourself with? Don't drink and drive, obey the law, use common sense and I promise you which cell you'll end up in won't be an issue. I will not dignify any further response to this question. I cannot comment on whether the U.S. military will or will not accept you as I do not know. I'll leave this question for someone who knows a bit more.
I hope my response has helped you in some way. You seem to be wanting to cram this transition into a little ball and swallow it all at once, and that just isn't how it works. You need to slow down and take one step at a time. Your goal right now is simply to find a therapist, do not worry about anything else. Congratulations and stay in touch on the forum with how things turn out. And just as a side note from me and from what others have told you, you are very fortunate to be beginning as young as you are and you already pass 100% in my opinion.
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/David_Baker-Hargrove_PhD,LMHC,DAPA,CCFC_Orlando_Florida_45705 (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/David_Baker-Hargrove_PhD,LMHC,DAPA,CCFC_Orlando_Florida_45705)
SKYPE!!!!!!!!!
We both see him, he is amazing. Period. If you can't see one in person, go see him over skype. Also, take some pills, or smoke a fat one and chill the eff out. You are getting obsessed with "what if's that will probably never come up. You are young, and pass better than most of us...already. I am freakingly excited for you! I really am! I am so excited, that I will fly to you and shoot Delestrogen through your tear ducts if you don't chill, take some time, and FOCUS on helping yourself. If you don't want to listen to us(which is fine), then please get your parents to help. More than anything, HELP YOU HELP YOU!
Quote from: mellissa on November 03, 2011, 04:18:46 PM
Would I be recognized as a girl or guy still also my dad said if I was to get arrested for dui would I be in a mens jail cell or guys? And after the full transition if you joined the army could they tell the difference when they do physical examination of a natal vagina and the transitioned one? If they can't tell will I have successfully made it in the army or would it come back to get me
As per my understanding, NO transgendered people are allowed in the military at this point. (No, the repeal of DADT didn't apply to us.)
Sometimes surgeons 'promise' that noone will be able to tell you apart from natal women after SRS, while I'm no professional, my opinion from the best results that I have seen make me wonder if anyone is ever able to go stealth. But having your vagina pass would be the least of your concerns, as you would have to hide of all of your medical records in addition to your prescriptions and you'll have to pass 100% of the time, no exceptions.
So the short answer is: If you transition you won't be able to join the military. But hey, who wants to kill people anyway.
As for the other legal rights of Trans people, each state has it's own specifics so I couldn't answer that (Unless you live in Utah). In general, my experience has been to always assume the worst from people either from ignorance/cruelty unless you explicitly know that the people you are interacting with are LBGT positive.
Now, if you live in any part of the country colloquially referred to as 'Real America,' I would suggest that you leave immediately.
Okay thanks everyone sorry I've been freaking out but ill search the interent for a therapists near me
mellissa,
I can understand your excitement. You've got the support of your parents and need to take the next step. In your situation I and I know, most of us, would be cock-a-hoop, but aprehensive as well.
Your parents popping in things like, if you get arrested you'll go to a mens jail!. (I'm mid 50s and never been arrested).
stldrmgrl makes a good point. What you need to do now. Nay, what you absolutely must do now, is take the next steps.
From the pics you've posted, you're georgous. (You're one of those girls who looks great in glasses!! Gurr ;D )
Then you need to keep us updated on what you're doing, how you feel about it and problems arising.
But you won't get anywhere until you take the next steps.
Congrats .. Getting your parents on board is a wonderfull achievement. At least you will have a lot of support.
I am sure they will take time to adjust to their new daughter.
You are young, the hormones are going to have an amazing effect on your body. You look very convincing already and pass well.. I am sure you are going to be very beautifull young woman.
good luck
Answer to "if" you get arrested and put in jail. Most jail/prisons do not recognize transexualism. They will just see you as a man ,a extremely homosexual man. If you go in as pre-op, you are seen by what you have in your pants! You will be seen, treated and spoken to as a man! You WILL be housed with men! If you are on Hrt, you will not receive it in jail, unless it is court ordered! You will not be allowed anything femme. You will not be allowed panties, bras or make up like the women prisoners. If you are post op but have no gender change in birth certificate, you are still considered male, but will be housed in solitery confinement for your safety. If you have big noticable boobs , post or pre you will be housed in solitery confinement. Srs or not you will be treated as a man. Your best bet would be to ask for protective custody upon entering the jail and that is if its available. Some jails have a special section and house homosexual, transexual, handicapped, minor mental issue people together. Being transexual, you are in great danger in jail, your risk of assualt, rape, gang rape,etc is extremly high. The male prisoners see you as a toy to play with at their free will, you will have no choice, the officers can't see everything that happens inside the jail and most male officers see you as a threat to their manhood and are disgusted by you, so their response to help you will not be great! They expect you to be a man and be able to defend yourself! Sorry for the harsh truth but it is what it is! This is the real world afterall! So obey the laws and stay out of trouble! It really isn't that hard to do. Jail is no place for a girl like you or me! Like someone said earlier a lot of cruelty and ignorance!
Check out my job/occupation here: validates me as a good source.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,106927.40.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,106927.40.html)