I mean like in their 20's or later. And I mean, they DID NOT repress any trans feelings until then. Am I the only one?
Yeah, I was 23 when I finally got it figured out. Before that I had the feeling that I was a passenger in someone else's body, but I thought I was just crazy or imagining it. I had a very gender neutral upbringing, which was awesome. However, I think that made it harder for me to figure out exactly what was bothering me as I never felt the need to push against an assigned female role. It wasn't until I thought that acting girly might help me feel better that I could pin it down more.
I figured it out when I was 17, so I don't really count, but I think it's common for people to figure it out later in life, probably way later than 20's too.
Quote from: Lee on November 04, 2011, 11:11:46 PM
I had a very gender neutral upbringing, which was awesome. However, I think that made it harder for me to figure out exactly what was bothering me as I never felt the need to push against an assigned female role.
Exactly the same as me!. I figured it out this year, being 29-30. Since childhood My family let me dress like a boy, play with boy toys, etc. With time and as I matured and was more self assured I was leting myself behave more and more masculine. I cut my hair very short, began to use male underwear, etc.. So I was trying to find my own way to be a girl, but hiding to myself the fact that I have always envied male body and been disphoryc about mine. Why did I do that? Because I was attracted to men, and still am, and I was ok with my genitalia in sex, so I tried to give explanations to myself. I told myself I didn't like my body because female body was associated with feminine behaviour and aesthetics in our society and that made me dislike it. But I was trying to convince myself I liked my body for many years with no success. In addiction i began to feel attracted to girls and imagine myself with male genitalia. The more I do it the better I feel with it now. I was also repressing that because I thought there weren't good options to transition or I was afraid of not being man enough to do it.
So when I began to see videos of FTM en youtube and saw the amazing results, my lies coudln't stand up any more.
I have to say that for many years I have imagined me with a female body in sex, wich is still strange to me, but the fact is that I have never felt like a woman at all. I hate my female body shape, and I don't fit at all in the female social role. I want to look like a man and I see a man in the mirror.
I felt intense trans feelings around 15.
I never had them before, but it hit me like a train.
:o
But I grew up as a shy little boy, and I never liked doing typical masculine activities.
I didn't do feminine stuff either.
I kind of just... sat there.
I was a cute awkward little ->-bleeped-<- :3
soo.. I guess not.
If you consider 20's to be later in life.
I just always hear how "most" people knew at such a young age.
Eh, I figured it out at sixteen, so I don't count - but my dad treated me like his son up until around fourteen, and my mom didn't encourage "girly behaviour" until then. I figure that if the whole feminine issue hadn't been pushed, I might not have realized I was trans until later. Does that make any sense?
I was 19 when I started questioning. Before that it never occurred to me. I mean I look back now at some things I did/felt and think DUDE YOU WERE SO BLIND....but yeah, at the time, not a clue :P
I had an argument last year with a MtF who transitioned herself in early teens with help from local prostitutes and drag queens who had access to hormones when they were still medical curiosities and she says anyone who doesnt transition themself by 15/16 isn't TS but is just crossdressing boy or girl which means that TS are as rare as hen's teeth and that most of us Susan posters are just CDs/gays and lesbians.
Her stance is that a TS will have a brain that completely refuses to allow any gender behavior that is same as the brith genitals.
This theory falls down with the babies born genitally intersex...and that damn ugly Staffie cross dog :D
All the research and expert opinions on why we don't transition at 15/16 fall on her deaf ears.
I didn't realize what was up with me until I was 24. Before that I just felt awkward and weird and uncomfortable, and kind of like I was an alien posing as a human trying to get along in this weird human world.
It hit me kind of like a runaway train at 18. Before that I felt different and wrong, like an alien in a human suit not quite fluent in the language.
I figured it out pretty early but talked to a women in her 30s who said she found out around the 20s,
I'm 23 and I didn't even start questioning until the last couple of months. I identified with male characters in shows/games/etc. and wanted to be them when I played make believe games with friends as a kid. I have also always looked at guys with envy, wanting to be them. I was very uncomfortable with my body until a few years ago, partly due to self-image issues from being chubby or whatever. Never liked girly things. I went through a super-femme stage for about 2 years in college. I have always been attracted to men and kind of enjoyed the attention for a bit. Something was off about it though. I guess I wanted them to see me as a boy instead.
Hated my chest for a long time, but weirdly less so now. Was actually sort of into them during my girly stage for whatever reason. They just feel kind of alien and in the way. When I look in the mirror, I keep trying to see what's supposed to be there, a guy's chest. Currently thinking about/saving up for top surgery.
Lately I've been wearing more guy's clothes to work. Sometimes I can barely bring myself to put on my girl clothes even though I don't pass. It is weird.
At this point I'm not sure what I am aside from "something queer." The fact that a lot of people know very early on makes me think that I'm either imagining things or being frivolous sometimes.
Also, here is a youtube channel of a MTF who didn't realize she was trans until she was 60+.
http://www.youtube.com/user/conway7734 (http://www.youtube.com/user/conway7734)
I was 19, almost 20 when I finally figured it out.
I had really controlling parents, so my whole childhood I wasn't allowed to chose what to wear or how to have my hair. I thought my problem was that I just couldn't find my own style. So when i turned 18 I left home and experimented with different girl styles. And then i realized at about 19, almost 20, that it wasn't the style, I just wasn't a girl. And then I looked into my past and saw all these signs and wondered why I couldn't have figured it out sooner, lol.
I'm actually 27 and I ONLY started questioning myself last week after meeting several people who are TG. It is certainly nice to know that I am not the only one with confusion/self-questioning like some other members here on forum!
It's strange because I am in a female body but I was never really happy with it. I have exercised to attempt lose weight but it was never a success... I had a thought where I think I would be more happy if I had a more masculine looking body and I would take a much better care of my "prospective" masculine looking body... Has anyone else ever thought that way before?
Quote from: rainyjun on November 05, 2011, 07:29:15 PM
I identified with male characters in shows/games/etc. and wanted to be them when I played make believe games with friends as a kid. I have also always looked at guys with envy, wanting to be them.
This especially. I think this may have got me thinking that I am possibly trans/triggered my transgendered feelings. I feel so chill, so me, just playing video games with my male cousin. In my imagination I am almost always a male character. Any time my sister drags me into doing something girly I always get soo self concious about it and definitely uncomfortable. I'm 19 though, so. But these feelings just started less than a year ago for me. ???
I think I was about 35. (I'm 39 now).
Quote from: skm4441 on November 05, 2011, 09:58:38 PM
I'm actually 27 and I ONLY started questioning myself last week after meeting several people who are TG. It is certainly nice to know that I am not the only one with confusion/self-questioning like some other members here on forum!
It's strange because I am in a female body but I was never really happy with it. I have exercised to attempt lose weight but it was never a success... I had a thought where I think I would be more happy if I had a more masculine looking body and I would take a much better care of my "prospective" masculine looking body... Has anyone else ever thought that way before?
This sounds similar to my exact issue! I want to lose weight and be healthier (thought I'm pretty healthy for a fat person :'P). The issue is that if I lose weight, I'm terrified of looking like a woman. I am very curvy, hourglass figure and all. I freaking hate it @_@! Unfortunately, even overweight I'm curvy, but it's less noticeable. My breasts are also weird. No mater how much weight I gain or lose, I'm still a D-cup. They're noticeable regardless, but if I lost weight they're practically impossible to ignore. So yeah, this makes me sad ;_;. Many women around the world hate that I can't "appreciate" how hot I am. I appreciate the hell out of how hot I am! I just don't wanna be girly hot! D:<
As for the initial topic: I'm not sure how to answer. First, I never really considered being in your 20's as later in life. We're barely legal adults in most countries :'P. I always thought somewhere around 40's and up to be later in life, when you have more life experience and have had a chance to established an adult life. That's not the point though, so I'll shut the hell up. I didn't come out to anyone for the first time until last year at 20. I'm still not completely out, but I'm getting there. I don't know how to respond over the repressing. Part of me has always know, but I've also always been attracted to men, so I guess that delayed things. That, and the crappy childhood. When my childhood consisted of drug dealers, daddy tries to murder mommy, custody battles, poverty, homelessness, and suddenly ending up with just one parent, gender identity became the least of my priorities XP.
I then started my wonderful life as a drug addict in high school, and that ->-bleeped-<- went on until I was 19. It was a miracle I graduated high school :'P. Anyway, it was at that point where I started a period of nothing but self discovery. I had been a drug addict since I was 14, so I had no idea who the hell I was. No one really did. It didn't take long for me to start dealing with gender identity. And that's how I'm here today :'D. So that's my needlessly long answer :'P.
I hear you about the hotness appreciation thing :P
I've had women seem genuinely angry that I'm transitioning because it'll be "such a shame"
"you want to be a MAN?! DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE THOSE BREASTS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH"
Not that lucky at all, when I don't want them >.> but that part doesn't seem to occur to them
I am 24, and I am only now able to admit to myself that I'm trans. I had a period when I was 20 that I thought a lot about it. It was to the point where I was doing research and exploring how I felt. Sadly though, I went to visit my dad over christmas, and due to a few comments he made one night I shut down completely. I decided that I would just have to learn how to live as I am. I never had body dysphoria to an extreme. I've never really liked how I look, I've never really enjoyed my body, but I didn't allow myself time to think about it. I just forced myself through games, books, comics and (sadly) fanfiction in order to escape when I felt at a loss with myself.
Now, that I have had to admit out loud who I am, I had to force myself to confide in someone here in person. I knew if I didn't, I would retreat back to where it was "safe". I haven't been happy per se, I am able to play content pretty well. I mean, I am happy with my life and with my partner, I love school, I love doing things with my friends, and I am pretty content. As long as I never focused too much on myself, everything was okay.
So yes. I realized it later in life. I guess the distress I went though as a child should have clued me in before hand, what with the whole being crushed to find out I wasn't born a boy. Because of my mother I ended up just internalizing it and the end result is that I am dealing with all of these feelings and emotions now as an adult, and at the worst possible time (it's my senior year, and I have some huge changes in life flying at me).
I just started questioning about 8 months ago which was a couple months after I turned 22. I haven't really realized much except that I'm at least genderqueer. Either being trans* scares me or being in the middle frustrates me. Either way I've been doing therapy pretty much weekly for the past few months. it's a painfully slow process for this queer.
I was 27 when I started telling people (soberly) how I felt, and that was also the year I saw my GP about it and started hormones.
I had always felt it inside though and up until the point I allowed myself to accept it I had been desperately unhappy and lost.
It is NEVER too late to realise and do the things you need to do though. I know a guy who only told people and started doing something about it when he was 54 and now he's the happiest 56 year old I know :)
Quote from: Darrin on November 04, 2011, 08:23:33 PM
I mean like in their 20's or later. And I mean, they DID NOT repress any trans feelings until then. Am I the only one?
I know a girl who didn't transition until she was in her 40's!