Hi all,
I seem to be in a slightly different place than many other's personal experience that i have read about and heard others speak of..
I don't think i have ever looked at being TG as a defect or horrible mistake or some sick cosmic joke, at least not in recent years, and especially not since i began transitioning, almost 3 years ago. I think i may have had some of those thoughts when i was much younger, maybe ages 8-12 or so...
I offer my viewpoint from my own experience at this time in my life. That viewpoint is simply this: There is perfection in nature, perfection in natural balance, perfection even in what others might percieve as extreme dysfunction, and perfection in the crosses that i have been made to carry and deal with in my life. My very pragmatic view of myself in this regard is simple - if things were supposed to have been different, they most assuredly would have been. As it is, i suffered horribly as a child, being a number one target for abuse, rejection, and ridicule for most of my childhood years.
I realize now, that for me it seems, without that level of experience, although brutally negative, difficult, and emotionally damaging in many ways, it also alllowed me to keep a view from about as far outside the cultural box as one can be growing up in this country - that being said, all of that experience is PRECISELY what has given me the strength, and the perspective to finally have the courage to move forward in my life, and begin living closer to the truths within me, against all odds - both personally and professionally.
I now consider this to simply be the next natural (and logical) step in my growth and evolvement as a human being, and now much clearer of conscience because i am finally making things right for myself and all others in my world simply because i am living in a place of greater truth than ever before, in so many ways.
If i had tried or started earlier in life, i may not have been as able, or as prepared for such mind-boggling a challlenge that transition has presented to me at this time in my life, but so be it - now i am here and doing the best i can.
I have healed much of the blame and anger towards others that i carried, in various internally and externally destructive forms as i grew and was much younger - less able to understand the gift of strength that extraordinary amounts of physical, mental, and emotional pain can provide - now i am more thankful for these things, even though i was completely unable to be so, when i was younger.
Most Sincerely,
Lovingly always,
Annagirl
Unequivocally, TS is a curse.
But like you, I have been blessed with seeing and understanding things that I would never have normally.
I have experienced and tasted things most people will never apprehend, nor understand.
The severe pain that I have had to endure militates against the condition being within normal parameters of human existence.
I do not at all ascribe to the evolution argument; at best, it is specious.
I'm not clear on what is meant by "horrible mistake". God does nor err, so by necessity there must be another explanation and in my understanding, there is.
Given the pervasiveness of chemical contamination, pollution and the history of misguided pharmacology often inducing horrific deformations during the exquisitely sensitive period of 'in utero' hormonal development and event sequencing, I am convinced that mine at the very least, is best described as a birth defect.
But at the same time, as I have said on numerous occasions,
"Transition is a thinking woman's paradise."