Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: ByeBye on November 07, 2011, 10:47:02 PM

Title: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: ByeBye on November 07, 2011, 10:47:02 PM
Just curious.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Rebekah with a K-A-H on November 07, 2011, 11:06:45 PM
I try to avoid talking about my past, but when I do, I refer to myself in female terms.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: MarinaM on November 07, 2011, 11:10:30 PM
No, I refer to myself as "I." If a certain word usage feels awkward or clunky it can be avoided- often by re-thinking the sentence.

I think that's a pet peeve of mine, people calling their old selves "him." It's creepy.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: kelly_aus on November 07, 2011, 11:45:38 PM
I will, but only when referring to certain things or times in my past.. For the most part, as far as I'm concerned, I'm the same person I've always been, so I'll just refer to myself.. I do often avoid applying gender to my past though..
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: pretty on November 08, 2011, 01:07:14 AM
I don't really understand it when people do that...

If I was a he then then I'm a he now, but since I don't call myself a he now I wouldn't call the old me a he... I never felt like a he. Transition is a physical change, not a personality change  :-\

And in general, talking about oneself in the third person is creepy, imo.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Guantanamera on November 08, 2011, 06:59:47 AM
Quote from: pretty on November 08, 2011, 01:07:14 AM
I don't really understand it when people do that...

If I was a he then then I'm a he now, but since I don't call myself a he now I wouldn't call the old me a he... I never felt like a he. Transition is a physical change, not a personality change  :-\

And in general, talking about oneself in the third person is creepy, imo.

In most romantic languages, their are two verbs to signify 'to be' one that deals with the innate characteristics of the person that don't readily change, and another that refer to specific states of being.  For me, the best way to think about this is: 'soy un mujer, estuve masculino.'

In general though, take all steps necessary to avoid using the third person to refer to yourself. It's very...odd. I'm sure that no one here wants to sound like Bob Dole.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Jen-Jen on November 08, 2011, 12:01:04 PM
Yes,  I do refer to him as he when I am talking about him. Because he was real and was a he/him. He and I  are similar in ways but are completely different people. I don't know if this makes any sense  ??? but its true, ah hell maybe I'm just crazy!  ::) Lol
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: pretty on November 08, 2011, 01:52:13 PM
Quote from: Jen-Jen on November 08, 2011, 12:01:04 PM
Yes,  I do refer to him as he when I am talking about him. Because he was real and was a he/him. He and I  are similar in ways but are completely different people. I don't know if this makes any sense  ??? but its true, ah hell maybe I'm just crazy!  ::) Lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder) ?
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Jen-Jen on November 08, 2011, 08:42:09 PM
Quote from: pretty on November 08, 2011, 01:52:13 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder) ?
nope, non of the symptoms other than depression ring a bell.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Constance on November 08, 2011, 09:16:26 PM
I've noticed fundamental personality differences since coming out. It seems that me as Connie is a different person than me as David. And, the hormones I think have added their own differences, too.

So, there are times when I do this and refer to my old self in the third person. I'm not the same person I was, even though I still am in some ways. I feel like Connie was always a part of David, and I think that David will always be a part of Connie.

So, yeah, I do, depending on the situation.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Colleen Ireland on November 08, 2011, 09:34:16 PM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 08, 2011, 09:16:26 PMSo, yeah, I do, depending on the situation.

Me, too.  I am FAR more outgoing, gregarious, happy, playful, joyful since transition, and I've heard that from a lot of people.  Yes, I know that "he" is "me", but "he" was more a mask, a role I was playing.  As my therapist observed, "You were working really hard to be Tim."  And now I don't have that work to do anymore.  He was a decent person, well worth knowing, but he had lots of issues.  I do feel like I'm having two very different lives, so I refer to "him" when speaking of my past, but only in certain situations.  It is peculiar, no doubt about it, but pretty much everything about this journey is peculiar.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on November 08, 2011, 09:53:52 PM
Miki outbitches Ricky.... By like 100%

I was catty as a boy...a girl makes things easier.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: ByeBye on November 09, 2011, 05:37:01 PM
Like I call the guy I used to be "him" in conversations. What "he" did. Like he's not even me because personality wise, he wasn't.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Colleen Ireland on November 09, 2011, 06:42:58 PM
I did out myself to my violin teacher at my first lesson, however, because I made the violin, by hand, and as a violinist, SHE could see immediately it's a handmade instrument.  I wanted credit for that, even though HIS name is on the label.  She's completely cool, though... we'll be making a violin together, for her...
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: OrderOfOriah on November 09, 2011, 07:37:52 PM
Hmm.  Good question.

I don't now, but I might someday.  I don't talk about my past much
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on November 10, 2011, 12:59:28 AM
I was a gay man who was always one of the girls...so "him" was kind of an ambiguous term.
Title: Re: Do any of you girls refer to your previous people as "him"?
Post by: justmeinoz on November 10, 2011, 07:01:17 AM
Depends on the circumstances.  I generally say 'in my previous life'.