I'm not gonna be depressed anymore. I came to this conclusion while riding the light rail home from school this evening.
I sat on the train and pondered my life as I kept an eye on three young men passing around a bottle of vodka and snorting *stuff* from a folded up one dollar bill. They chose to sit next to a young girl whom I just met, her name was Carly, and she was in her first semester of college. She introduced herself by telling me I was pretty, said I had a beautiful scarf, and told me about her desire to become an ambassador. She could have sat with me on the ride home, but instead ran to the front of the train where I could not take my bicycle. I stayed on longer than I had to in order to make sure she was safe. As I was doing this my comparative situation became less important than the girl's safety. A parallel to my taking care of my daughter.
I thought that, though I can easily envision terrible things concerning where my life is going, many of my fears are just... fears. My daughter loves her daddy girl, and I have to remember to keep my head above water in spite of the great struggle I endure, for her well being.
Time to dig into this thought with someone that I can touch, but I'll be back around.
Awesome! :) Depression is a deep pit to fall into, and even more challenging is knowing you've got to build your own ladder to get out. Sounds like you had an epiphany today; stick with it! I'm happy for you!
Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 08, 2011, 09:22:10 AM
Awesome! :) Depression is a deep pit to fall into, and even more challenging is knowing you've got to build your own ladder to get out. Sounds like you had an epiphany today; stick with it! I'm happy for you!
I've spent a lot of time watching the hole get deeper, now I have to pay for it with some very hard work, austerity, and just general goodness. It's difficult, but not impossible.