My name is Tammy and i don't know where to start without resorting to cliches. Needless to say although Tammy has been around a long time... since i was a child in fact... it is only recently that she's been embraced and I have realised just how much more comfortable I am with myself. no more anxieties about my identity or personality etc, which have plagued me for so long.
i swing between the urge to go full time, and the abject fear of alienation and ridicule from family, friends and complete strangers. I can spend days psyching myself up to take things further, and then have everything shot down by an offhand remark, and all faith that I could pass is washed away. I could do with making some new friends who understand me and what i am going through.
I am 29 and wishing I'd been brave enough sooner. I feel time is running out for me, but i am so scared of rushing. I am sure many others have felt this.
Tams x
Hi Tammy, welcome to Susans! I'll be your friend, and you'll meet lots of others here, too. See you around the site, hugs, Tracey
thanks Tracey, lovely to meet you
x
Hey Tammy, welcome to Susans :)
I started at 27, lots of progress can be made. Also, we have an entire UK population here:
Welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way :) Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.
Don't y'all talk about bobby or something when info is spread?
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
Hi Tams,
From another UK member, welcome to the group.
Somebody once said "time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so".
So don't worry about time when you are dealing with this.
Be cool about stuff and you will know when it is the right time for you.
Debbie
thanks guys, i feel better already :)
Hi Tammy,
And a BIG Aussie welcome to Susan's. You have lots of friends here. So relax and enjoy the information, experience and overall sense of family here.
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 10, 2011, 05:55:54 PM
i swing between the urge to go full time, and the abject fear of alienation and ridicule from family, friends and complete strangers.
The good news is, that the alienation and ridicule
WILL happen one way or the other. Either from yourself trying to please everyone by denying yourself, your true identity, or from everyone else as they fail to respect you for who you really are. So save yourself a lot of wasted nervous energy and follow your urge to go full time. You'll feel so much better for it.
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 10, 2011, 05:55:54 PM
then have everything shot down by an offhand remark,
Simple solution. Do not take on board anyones opinion that is not in sync with yours. Most people in your circle of influence have little to absolutely no idea on any TG issues. So why should anyones uneducated, uninformed opinion destroy your dignity and self esteem?
If you asked me what time it was at midday, and I told you it was 8PM, you wouldn't believe me. You'd immediately recognise my opinion was uninformed and uneducated. If I had said 5 past 12, then at least we are close enough to have a discussion on where the 5 minute difference came from.
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 10, 2011, 05:55:54 PM
I could do with making some new friends who understand me and what i am going through.
We are all here for you. Waiting for you to ask the plethora of questions. Go for it girl!!
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 10, 2011, 05:55:54 PM
I am 29 and wishing I'd been brave enough sooner. I feel time is running out for me, but i am so scared of rushing.
My!! That's young. Lucky you. It will take you a minimum of 2 years from the time you draw the line in the sand, until the "caterpillar emerges as that rainbow butterfly". Questions defeat fear. So what's your first question? .......... the answer is, YES!!! you can do it. I know you can. ............ What's the next one? LOL
Embrace and enjoy the journey. Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 11, 2011, 06:37:58 AM
thanks guys, i feel better already :)
Pardon? ? ? ? ........................... Guys? ? ? ? ROFL
Here in the UK it is often used as a generic term. I use it also. If they are kind of mates, then it's thanks guys, whether you are saying it to a male of female.
Quote from: DebbieS on November 11, 2011, 03:06:35 PM
Here in the UK it is often used as a generic term. I use it also. If they are kind of mates, then it's thanks guys, whether you are saying it to a male of female.
Same in the U.S., it's like being called dude in CA by a teenager. It happens.
Hi Tammy,it's nice to meet you.Hugs,Rachael.
Hi Tammy, i'm a newbie here too, i live in the UK :) u should feel more then welcome here, everyone is so nice and friendly here ! catch u around
Vicky x
Its Saturday morning, I walked into West Yorkshire town in sunshine, been looking at bras and handbags and got to shop for fruit and veg and no-one sees or treats me as anything but a nice blonde lady wearing pretty skirt and jacket.
you gotta get out of that closet
Quote from: lilacwoman on November 12, 2011, 04:42:14 AM
no-one sees or treats me as anything but a nice blonde lady wearing pretty skirt and jacket.
you gotta get out of that closet
Hi lilacwoman,
In a word; abso-bloody-lutely. You are missing out on too much otherwise.
Interesting point to note, I've been slowing down my shopping on a Thursday night and watching more of what's happening around me. The thing I've noticed is the older men, tend to eye me off more so than the younger ones. It's not that I'm being clocked, it's I'm being eyed off as potential. It's even worse when I carry a smile with me, the looks last longer. My what a "tart" I'm becoming. LOL.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine
Quote from: DebbieS on November 11, 2011, 03:06:35 PM
Here in the UK it is often used as a generic term. I use it also. If they are kind of mates, then it's thanks guys, whether you are saying it to a male of female.
Oh .. OK. Thanks for that Debbie and Emma. I just thought it funny. It's not a term of endearment here in the Land of Oz (yet.... hehe)
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine
thanks to ebay my shopping is going a little crazy... especially on shoes... heels, wedges, anything strappy strappy... it is an addiction. heh.
I'm out to my friend(as a CD anyway) s, althoguh someone very close to me is having a big issue dealing with it and we've been through so much together that it's breaking my heart she cant accept me this way. I know most would be supportive if i told them i wanted to transition properly, but then i was raised to very little faith in my own judgment. i'm sure its an old story on here, and i dont like doing the sob story stuff... endorphines, that's what i need... drop loads of weight, get in to a size 12 and buy more shoes :D
Tammy, "guys" is totally a generic term where I live, but to be safe I'd just use "people" or "folks" or whatever other neutral stuff feels good to you.
...perhaps a more politically correct and femminine sounding 'Gyes'?
no?
ok, 'Peeps' it shall be... damn these awkward international colloquialstic barriers.
I shall keep my native cockney rhyming slang to a minimum... do what, apples and pears, feed the birds, old bull and bush... i'm off to stepney to waggle me brush.
Hi Tammy, welcome to Susan's =D
I have an aunt Tammy, lol.
Quote from: Tammy Raine on November 13, 2011, 05:10:03 AM
...perhaps a more politically correct and femminine sounding 'Gyes'?
no?
Welcome Tammy, like the 'Gyes', reminds me of 'Tyres'! :laugh:
Hell no ! Keep that cockney slang going. As one who was born within 200 yards of the Bow Bells it is wonderful stuff !
Debbie
Welcome Tammy :)
This whole thing has an ebb and a flow. You have your good days and your bad days. Some people will be rude to you, and others will come up out of the blue and compliment you. Often times it being the most unlikely of circumstances. Like the guy tattooing my foot the other day said "Your toenails look bad a$$" lol. You just have to keep your chin up and push past the bad and get on to the good. Much easier said than done I know, but it's what you have to keep reminding yourself.