This has bothered me a ton. Because people see me as female, they expect me (family especially) to want to have kids in the future because (quote from my own uncle tonight) "you don't want to end up 60 and lonely!" I have always had a terrible fear of childbirth, I always thought it was disgusting (didn't mean to offend anyone there, that's just how I feel about it). But I am still thinking, even right now "hey, I'm going to die from it anyways, why not kill myself now?" I just see no hope of myself ever becoming male. And I'm really starting to hate my traditional family. Every time I say "I don't want kids", I get a "what?!" from people, and a "you WANT to grow old and lonely?" from close family members. Not sure how to deal with this as I am seriously considering suicide right now. Actually these were my thoughts on this since I was a little kid, and I didn't know there was another option until I found out about the sex change. And no, I'm not consdiring sex change just because of this, I do hate my female body. Please help. :(
Josh - There are all kinds of people who live fulfilling lives without ever becoming parents. If you end up wanting to be a parent later, you can always adopt, which itself is a wonderful thing! Don't worry. Pushing adult kids to have children is what parents do. So it is and so shall it ever be. :)
Change your reply to them rather than your opinion. Tell them your not ready to do that just yet and leave it at that. It doesn't matter that you will never be 'ready' for childbirth.
Well, the important thing here is that the "traditional family" is just one avenue of life. Sure, it's what the majority of people do, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting children of your own. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married either.
Often times, family members can be the worst on topics like this because of what their own beliefs are and what they envision for their own children (or nieces, or nephews, or granddaughters, or grandsons or whatever). They mistakenly think that their beliefs and wants are shared.
So you're not wrong - that's number 1. Your family is not wrong either though - they're just voicing what they believe in and are not able to even fathom someone might have a different belief or opinion from theirs. Some people never get it, but you can't let that rule over your life either.
I personally have a legit phobia of pregnancy. I can't even be comfortable around pregnant women. I'd elaborate, but I don't even like talking about it either! So you're not alone there.
It's also important to realize that who you are on the inside may take a little while to make an appearance on the outside, but that doesn't change who you are either. Nor does your family commenting about how you need to be shacking up with someone and popping out spawn for them to fawn over. You're still you. You were born you. There's so many things that make up who you are - so many things that have influenced you right up to this moment. But you have the last word every single time in your mind. Your family can't force you to do something like get married or have a kid. And even if you decided later in life that you do want a chance to be a parent, there's always adoption. There's so many avenues you can take and many different options for how to live your life.
It can be difficult when your own blood will not accept your choices, but it's only because they're turning a blind eye to who you really are inside. They're not accepting either and when that happens they're not showing you the love you deserve as a family member. But much like they can not control your thoughts, actions or emotions, you can't control theirs. You can rise above that though.
Life also isn't a race to the finish line. Transition isn't a race to the finish line either.
I've been in that situation where family members are asking about either marriage or kids and I was honest with them every time. On the marriage front it was always an answer like, "If I met the right person, I'd consider it" and on the kids front it was always, "If I want one, I'll adopt one". It was enough to keep them off me about it and I ended up doing my own thing anyways.
It's your life, so continue living it. Try to find different ways to look at things and situations in a more positive light. Plan for the future and how you'll make you're life great and how you'll be more comfortable in your own body, in spite of everything else.
Hope that helps.
I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, mate. But just two years ago, I also felt trapped with no job, no healthcare and in the middle of nowhere Louisiana - I believed that suicide was my only option because I couldn't imagine how I'd ever be able to transition. It felt like the end of the road, especially being 30 years old with no work experience and no money. Then, believe me, a MIRACLE happened. My wife brought me to live in Australia where I now have access to everything and the means to transition. If I had offed myself, I would have never known that my dreams were about to come true. Hang on. You have Susans and all these guys here to help lift you up and tell you that, yes, the road to making your dreams come true can be hell, but you can and will do it. Oh and I hate the thought of being pregnant myself - funny some would say but it seems unnatural for me to carry a kid or be a "mum". Chin up, mate.