This may be a inappropriate post?
However, does any of you have advice,council, or comment on how to get rid of my guy tendencies in side me please help. ;)
I hate the way I handle things like, IE some pulling on wig to see if my hair is real.( talk dose not both me; but touching does.)
The dude in me wants to fight at the drop of a dime, I am tired of this behavior.
So that's why I am requesting help, maybe someone else has gone through this, or copping right now.
I know it better to talk out then to act out. Also, love, is a more excelling way (I am learning this now.) This is the way the person I am becoming thinks, and I love the way she thinks always have ;) .......... O, by the way I am MTF this may help a little thanx all ............
Peace out. >:-)
I think some of our tendencies are a result of an innate part of our biology. Some are due to conditioning as we grow up. I think a person can over come both of those things by trying to act as you want to act and not how you're expected to act or how you have acted in the past. "Change your thoughts and you change your world"
Gee... what would a GG do if some idiot guy walked up to her and grabbed her breast "To see if they were implants or not?"
Assault is assault and that is what is happening; be it pulling out your hair or grabbing a boob!
Please, do not misunderstand the following as blaming the victim. I just cannot imagine, outside of the 5th grade, a situation where an adult (or close to it) would just walk up to someone and yank their hair! For whatever reason!
I often get complimented on my 'Wig' by guys who dont realise that it's real... however, having had long hair in guy mode for ten years, there have been times where other guys have pulled my hair 'just for a laugh' or as a dare. It sickens me how some people feel entitled to put their hands on others for their own amusement... it isn't just physical pain either, it is the humiliation and the fact that humiliation is their intent that makes me very angry. The last time that happened I turned ot confront the guy and he seemed to take offense at my lack of humour about the issue... he started posturing in the typical chav-like manner, trying to look masculine to his friends, and my friends had to hold me back from tearing his face off.
I am such a gentle person, but there are some buttons in me that seem to activate the male biology.
Quote from: Plague on November 13, 2011, 02:59:22 PM
The dude in me wants to fight at the drop of a dime
I want to fight everybody even as a girl. Just relax and realize everything is cool, even though people are dicks.
JulieC and JoanneB:
Thank you, both very much for the comment's and advice. the problem is I felt like retaliating. I did not, and got very angry with myself. I have never been so confused before; the reason is the guy in me would have gotten violent. Now the women I am becoming; she just felt odd in that kind of setting. Its is like being indecisive? (I guess)I have never felt that way before in my daily dealings. I have always felt in complete control in any situation. ;) I want to thank you both again. Love ya Peace out ;D
PS very deep change ones' thoughts.................... :angel:
Mahsa: that's explains the SHARK part in your name; LOL. Thanx for the support and advice.
Please, stay unique I really like that about you! ;D
love ya
Peace out
Dear: Tammy Raine, You understand the problem; yes you got it! Now how to turn off the guy mode that's what I looking for??
I hate that part of my personality,and to get rid of it!! Thanks a bunch. God all of you are so sweet.
Love ya..... peace out.......... love will conquer all ;D
I hate it too and wish i could switch it off, but then a few weeks ago i was on my way to the local supermarket and saw a man punching the living ->-bleeped-<- out of his girlfriend in his car, and it was those urges that made me drag him hlfway out of his car window and spit such verbal venom at him that he started crying. i wasnt proud of myself and felt sick for days afer but i like to think i at least stepped in where so many others just walked on by and pretended they had seen nothing.
Quote from: Plague on November 13, 2011, 08:54:47 PM
Mahsa: that's explains the SHARK part in your name; LOL. Thanx for the support and advice.
Please, stay unique I really like that about you! ;D
love ya
Peace out
I'm a shark and you're in my tank.
But the guy is always going to be there in one way or another. Accept him and let him become her.
I HAVE SPOKEN!!!!
Mahsa:LOL >:-) I hear and obey you mistress ;) O yes tanks!!!! Love ya
Tammy Raine: after reading what action you took to help someone I can tell you have a caring personality.
( that's probably why you want to help me.) I understand, I must deal with this guy part of me. Even if I don't care to! :-\ The part that I am having trouble with is the guy is very egotistical, arrogant, and down right mean! aka typical male ASS HOLE!! >:( I don't like this correcter trait at all!........( fought it for years.)
I will not surrender to these feeling any more. want to get RID of them. Cope=compromise (to me) I HATE this part of me; it has always got me in to BIG TROUBLE. That why I am seeking a solution to the conflict. ??? Thanx again Love ya too
Peace out all >:-)
Quote from: Plague on November 14, 2011, 10:14:24 AM
Mahsa:LOL >:-) I hear and obey you mistress ;) O yes tanks!!!! Love ya
The part that I am having trouble with is the guy is very egotistical, arrogant, and down right mean! aka typical male ASS HOLE!!
I still have that part of my form, chances are several people have seen it on the board. It counteracts my cuteness.
But seriously, just be yourself....change after the cops come. :) :) :)
We all retain parts of our male side, it is part of the duality that comes with being trans. Eventually hormones will relax a lot of that aggression and you can embrace your compassionate side.
Dear Mahsa, thanx for the last part of the addvice, I really felt the sincerity you are trying to express. I wish I could give you a big HUG!! ::)
however, words will have to do for now. ;D
I am really trying not to give in to such feeling for all of us; the reason for this is I know the general public judges all of us by what they see and hear. I always try to remember that and work toward being a positive force of good to our community.
This is why the guy must die!!!(I can be harsh at times.....LOL) Thank you of the help, and your time to write your comments.
Love ya ..........Peace out >:-)
Who told you wanting to beat the stuffing out of someone for touching you is a "male" thing? ???
Probably the reason more women don't do it, is that they are smaller than the guy. But for me as ftf amazon I've aggressively gone after men.
One time I was walking up the stairs on the subway and a man grabbed the back of my leg and pushed his hand up the back of my skirt. Well I'm pretty clumsy normally but I had that mofo up agains the fence in about 20 seconds and jammed my thumbnail into the suckers eye.
Another time I got off a shift for a limos dispatch at 3 am. It was actually our "lunch break" so we'd walk up to the Dunkin Donuts. Of course men would drive around the area at this time and harass the women. (Brooklyn can suck) and so one time this guy drives up next to me while he wanking off in the car and tells me to get in the car. I turned around and grabbed the door and ripped the car open and lept into the guys car and started smashing him in the face. I was sooooooo pissed off and even more mad at the idea that these perverts could get away with this crap. Then I took a picture of his license plate.
He got out of there in a hurry. I actually felt a little sorry for the poor guy. He had no idea what hit him. Prolly thought I'd be all "ooh what a biggie you have!" Instead he got a raving banshee sputtering out profanity and "I keeeeeeeeeeel you I keeeeeeeeeeeel you" over and over again while I kept punching him in the face. Aww. Poor guy.
If someone touched my hair or breast I'd slap him silly. I have noticed however that women touch my breasts. I think they secretly assume they are implants. So they grab them to see.
But uh, it's isn't being a guy to want to rip someone's face off. Just consider that the trans angels giving you a day of "PMS" :angel:
Mixie:
I read your comment with great care, all I can say OMG... A lot of stuff happend to you; I hope you are OK. I know how it feels to be violated sexually. >:( See my problem is I was very violent as a male to over compsate for the famine side that I was hidding. Don't know if this makes sense. I am not afraid to kick someones teeth down their throat. Used to box golden gloves and know Marshal arts as well; can handle my self quite well (I love to get hit & bleed I think it is funny.) If I were to lose controil of my self I am capable of killing a man with my bear hands.(I have come close to this) I hate, HATE using violence to solve a situation, and believe in loving people back to life! All thought in your case I probably would have done what you did. See the person I am becoming would rather walk away then resort to my old way.
However, I find that average people like to gawk at us and some go as far as to touch. This is when I need to stay in controil and get rid of the guy. He likes to fight and has NO FEAR does not care if he wins or loses just lives to kick ass. His way is no way for me.
PS have a lot of friends back in the east coast I knew you were for NY when I read your story. So frank with people, love it.
OK kiddo got to run be carefull. Love ya .........Peace out....hope I explained things OK?? >:-)
I know the feeling Plague, anytime I see something inappropriate or someone being a jackass I just want to throw down lol =P. Usually this is in regards to when I see someone else who is being victimized and not myself though. But I have been trying to take a better approach, most of the time I just say to myself that I'll have to be the bigger and more mature person who is willing to walk away instead of getting involved with those people who want to act like morons.
Kaylie, thanx for the addvice, I total feel that's the right way to handle immature people. I just wish the guy I don't want to be would do things like that ;D ( I know this look like I am flipping my noodle) just don't know any other way to explain it??
The conflict runs very deep in me and from time to time the guy me wins. :-\
So if some gets this what I am trying to express please chime in.
I guess what I am look for is peace of mind! :angel: Well, to some degree. Love ya sweetie, Peace out
Quote from: Plague on November 15, 2011, 06:12:03 PM
Kaylie, thanx for the addvice, I total feel that's the right way to handle immature people. I just wish the guy I don't want to be would do things like that ;D ( I know this look like I am flipping my noodle) just don't know any other way to explain it??
The conflict runs very deep in me and from time to time the guy me wins. :-\
So if some gets this what I am trying to express please chime in.
I guess what I am look for is peace of mind! :angel: Well, to some degree. Love ya sweetie, Peace out
Is that you in the profile pic?
Elle Woods 90210, before I answer your question. may I ask why you changed your name? >:-) (it is nice.)
Now you are in my neck of the woods!!!(no pun) With the zip code 90210 LOL Cali Girl hummmmmmmmm!! ;)
OK Ms. Woods, I tell you, if you tell me, LOL I really do ...........Love ya !!! ::) Peace out >:-)
Quote from: Plague on November 16, 2011, 12:45:57 PM
Elle Woods 90210, before I answer your question. may I ask why you changed your name? >:-) (it is nice.)
Now you are in my neck of the woods!!!(no pun) With the zip code 90210 LOL Cali Girl hummmmmmmmm!! ;)
OK Ms. Woods, I tell you, if you tell me, LOL I really do ...........Love ya !!! ::) Peace out >:-)
I live in the bay area. I wish I was cool enough to live in SoCal.
Elle Le Harlot
You are now French now !!!!!!!! Come on girl you know you are COOL to much so... ;D I have spoken
Still did not tell why the name change?? OK girl I'll leave it alone.. ::)
Only because...... I love ya............ you shark LOL >:-)
Quote from: Plague on November 16, 2011, 04:12:42 PM
Elle Le Harlot
You are now French now !!!!!!!! Come on girl you know you are COOL to much so... ;D I have spoken
Still did not tell why the name change?? OK girl I'll leave it alone.. ::)
Only because...... I love ya............ you shark LOL >:-)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcQNir14ycssEGk65ASrANaa9vP0RzqLy-QvGKOcqh9As4uY_4HPD2Z63p8T&hash=b3d8981dabff1b642ca4ac3b41f1cf53c7aba2ba)
To rattle a few cages, I'm the last angry man PATTERSON!!!