Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: rylielove on November 13, 2011, 10:43:04 PM

Title: shopping!!?!
Post by: rylielove on November 13, 2011, 10:43:04 PM
ok so im sooooo sick of shopping online - things 'kinda' fit and i end up keeping things that i don't like mostly because i hate returning things.

my question now comes to the fact that i think im ready to shop in real stores! yay! gosh that sounds silly...  buuuuttttt i use credit cards and store cards a lot which i usually always get asked for my ID, the idea of this scares me... what do people do in this situation?  my drivers license looks NOTHING like the girl me and BARELY like me as it is right now.

should i try and get a F on my license already?  should i just suck it up and be a '->-bleeped-<-' to the clerk?  should i just use cash (but i like using credit!!)


advice? ideas? please!?
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Elsa.G on November 13, 2011, 10:59:30 PM
You should just try withdrawing cash from ur account at an atm or at the bank. That's what i did in the beginning because i too had that dillema, but now things have changed and i was able to change the m to f on the id card.
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: rylielove on November 13, 2011, 11:03:00 PM
but but but i get to use coupons if i use my store card!!!
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Elsa.G on November 13, 2011, 11:07:01 PM
im guessing its a store credit card, changing ur gender on ur id or license can take some time but if u really want to shop in store with ur card i suggest going a bit more neutral. I did this once when i still had the M on my id, and no one really took a second glance or anything like that. It helped to look androgynous that day :)
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Michelle. on November 13, 2011, 11:24:25 PM
Quote from: rylielove on November 13, 2011, 11:03:00 PM
but but but i get to use coupons if i use my store card!!!

Then you've answered your own question.

Can you get your initials on a second card?
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: MarinaM on November 13, 2011, 11:36:40 PM
Use it anyway. Never let this sort of stuff unnecessarily cost you more money than you have to spend. Besides, they can be all, "what?" and then you can smile all pretty for them as you turn and strut away with your new stuff. I did it all the time.
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Daniel006 on November 13, 2011, 11:40:54 PM
Use your card anyway.  You will probably never see that person again, so in the long run, it doesn't matter.  This way of thinking has helped me a lot in my life.  It's the people you see again and again that you need to be concerned about.
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Michelle. on November 13, 2011, 11:44:37 PM
Add to the above the goal of any salesperson. Your MONEY. That's all they want. Everything else is just sideshow to them.
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on November 13, 2011, 11:46:52 PM
They all think it's my husbands card.

Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Felix on November 14, 2011, 01:46:47 AM
Sometimes I use cash just to avoid this problem, but it's not a very practical solution. I've found that people don't usually notice anything. They can look right at it and not raise an eyebrow because they're at work, just doing their job, and half of them are operating on autopilot anyway.

Also, I've had cismales use my card, and they don't seem to have any problems. You don't really need to match your card at most establishments. Like Mahsa said, there are legit ways people end up not matching.

My driver's license looks like a stoned 13 year old boy. They made me remove my glasses for it, and my hair was all shaggy, and I couldn't see so I wasn't smiling or focusing my eyes. And there's the F.

As long as I have money, I don't often run into issues buying things, though.
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Cindy on November 14, 2011, 02:05:12 AM
Never had a problem using a male named CC. But I now have another with my name on it. You just apply for a partner card and writ your name on it. Mr Smith pays the bills, Gorgeous Princess has the card.

Cindy
Title: Re: shopping!!?!
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on November 14, 2011, 03:42:36 AM
Quote from: Felix on November 14, 2011, 01:46:47 AM
Sometimes I use cash just to avoid this problem, but it's not a very practical solution. I've found that people don't usually notice anything. They can look right at it and not raise an eyebrow because they're at work, just doing their job, and half of them are operating on autopilot anyway.

Also, I've had cismales use my card, and they don't seem to have any problems. You don't really need to match your card at most establishments. Like Mahsa said, there are legit ways people end up not matching.

My driver's license looks like a stoned 13 year old boy. They made me remove my glasses for it, and my hair was all shaggy, and I couldn't see so I wasn't smiling or focusing my eyes. And there's the F.

As long as I have money, I don't often run into issues buying things, though.


I had a transman at my job once. I could kinda tell... he gave me his ID. He had a female name on there and an "F" and I was like, "meh. don't care". I see a lot of transmen at my former job....pretty cool people.