I'm straight but I have sex with guys. I don't get turned on when I have sex with them and I feel disgusted, bored, and I can't wait for it to be over. I've also had sex with girls and I've LOVED it so what's wrong with me. I feel so depressed right now because I had sex with a guy this morning who I barely even know. Also, would I be able to get pregnant from pre-ejaculation?
Quote from: Slytherin17 on November 15, 2011, 12:53:25 AM
I'm straight but I have sex with guys. I don't get turned on when I have sex with them and I feel disgusted, bored, and I can't wait for it to be over. I've also had sex with girls and I've LOVED it so what's wrong with me. I feel so depressed right now because I had sex with a guy this morning who I barely even know. Also, would I be able to get pregnant from pre-ejaculation?
Sounds to me like you just like women, not men. There's nothing wrong with you at all. Pre-ejaculate? I'm not very educated on the subject, lol. But, I'd say if you're organs are still capable of reproduction.....anything coming from a penis should be protected against by a condom. Its really the best thing to do anyway. Safe sex is always good- as pregnancy is only one thing to worry about in these manners. Cheer up, it takes some of us a great deal of time to figure ourselves out. At least at the end, we will know who we are, and what we really want.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop having Sex !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want to know what's wrong with you? For starters, you don't respect yourself.
You should only be having sex if you really want to and if you can handle the consequences. Yes you can get pregnant from pre cum. So not only are you having unwanted sex, and you are also having un protected sex?
Go get the morning after pill. I know from the last pregnancy scare you posted about that you are still in the window of opertuninty to take it.
Are you ever going to take anyone's advice?
Sharky: You're completely right, I don't respect myself. The boy told me I couldn't get pregnant by pre cum. At first he had a condom on, then he took it off for about 2 to 3 minutes and then he put another condom on.
Quote from: Slytherin17 on November 15, 2011, 01:19:08 AM
Sharky: You're completely right, I don't respect myself. The boy told me I couldn't get pregnant by pre cum. At first he had a condom on, then he took it off for about 2 to 3 minutes and then he put another condom on.
I've edited my post, please re read it.
He lied to you.
When did I post something else about pregnancy? I can't afford a morning after pill and besides my friend took it and she threw up all over the place.
I know at planned parent hood you can get financial aid for abortions. I would assume they would be able to help you get the morning after pill.
Your friends body isn't yours. She may not have even followed the directions right. Anyway it's a good idea.
]https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98320.msg723177.html#msg72317] (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98320.msg723177.html#msg72317)
Yes, you can get pregnant from pre-ejaculate fluid. And I understand if you can't afford the morning after pill, but isn't a touch of nausea better than pregnancy? You're worth more than you think of yourself and please think about that before you let yourself be used again.
The thing is my mother would never allow me to get the morning after pill. I asked her and she said there was no way in hell I was going to destroy the beginning of a human life. She said if I'm pregnant then I'm going to have it. I told her I would starve myself to get rid of it and she said she would tie me to a chair and make me eat. I guess the only thing I can do is pray I'm not pregnant. I don't think the boy was using me because he keeps asking me out and got really upset when I said no.
Quote from: Sharky on November 15, 2011, 02:00:26 AM
I know at planned parent hood you can get financial aid for abortions. I would assume they would be able to help you get the morning after pill.
Your friends body isn't yours. She may not have even followed the directions right. Anyway it's a good idea.
]https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98320.msg723177.html#msg72317] (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98320.msg723177.html#msg72317)
Ohhhhh, now I remember that one. I forgot I ever posted something like that on here or I would have gone back and looked at it.
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. Fun, happy, loving, all sorts of wonderful things. You are doing it wrong. Please don't do this to yourself.
Also, pregnancy is totally not necessary. There are many birth control methods, there's RU486, there's abortion, and there are lots of ways to miscarry without taking medication.
Don't ever ever let somebody bully you into sex. Don't have sex just for the hell of it unless you know what you're doing. Use protection. Care about yourself. No one else is going to the way you can.
Oh for crying out loud!
Why the hell do you ask us for advice when you ignore everything everyone tries to tell you? Any and all sympathy I may have had for your plight has been blown right out of the window by your sheer lack of self-preservation. The fact that you keep doing this just makes me want to shake you!
Others may have patience, but I do not. Buck the hell up and take control of your life before it crashes down around you.
I'm going to have to agree with the others. You've been told about this all before. Don't want to get pregnant? Stop having sex with men unprotected. Especially if you don't even like it. Just because a guy asks you out repeatedly doesn't mean he won't lie to you. Some men will sell you the world just for a quick roll around the hay. Not all obviously, but there are those out there that prey on people who believe anything. I don't feel sorry for you because you enter these relationships willingly, knowing how you'll feel about them. Respect yourself because if you don't, why would anyone else?
Forgive me, I rarely say these kinds of things so bluntly.
I realize you're young, but this is just stupid. Why the hell are you having sex with guys if you only like girls? What's the point if you get nothing out of it? If you don't want to get pregnant or use birth control (morning after pill), then stop having sex with boys. Is it so these guys will like you? You don't have to have sex with any guy that asks or gets upset when you don't.
And where the hell are your parents or anybody in all of this? You had sex with someone you barely know? Where did you meet this person and whose idea was it to have sex? If you didn't want to, this almost sounds like rape to me. Like you were coerced or pressured into it.
Please get yourself some help. This is just ridiculous.
Oh God, you again? Guess you weren't pregnant the last time. That's good news. You said you forgot that thread? I don't think I ever will! I have this emotion where I care about people and their outcomes. Being in the same situation again you are completely discounting all of that.
Of all of the ways to get attention this is probably one of the worst. It involves another potential human being. To be honest I don't believe a word you say. That's my opinion and other people are free to believe you but they will probably just end up hurt.
I've just met to many people like you in my life who try to use the most shocking and condemning action to get attention from others both positive and negative. I'm done with all of it. You're a one trick pony honestly, with another pregnancy scare. Wise up.
I should have read the other thread. Urk.
Please, take the morning after pill. Ask Planned Parenthood or something. Your mum doesn't need to know. Don't use sex as a way to hurt yourself, you deserve better than being used by other people. Please, try to take control of your life, don't become a puppet for others to use as they wish. Don't have sex with people you don't want to have sex with. Take care of yourself, man.
Yes you can get pregnant from the precum.
There is sperm in the carrier fluid.
Just to add some info here - it was found that the pre-ejaculate only carries sperm if the guy had just ejaculated before.
apart from that.
Man, you're really too inconsiderate and immature to have sex. Step back, learn the word "no" and don't let people you don't like and who don't respect you penetrate you. And for your own sake, use condoms.
When you care SO damn little about yourself, why bother to have sex in the first place.
Sorry, but it just seems like you do this because you WANT to feel miserable and humiliated.
Do you see a therapist?
I just wanted to say to everyone else here that you might be too hard on him. What's so simple to you is not so simple to someone else! Of course it's only logical to not do something that you don't like, so then obviously something else is going on. I may be gullible to be believing this kid but I'd rather believe and offer advice, than not believe and cause him more trouble.
Now to address the OP, I don't want to pretend that I know exactly what you're going through, but I did have my own experience with such things.
When I was about 16, I started having sex with strangers, men. I am not attracted to men. but I did it. and it totally grossed me out and I wanted to throw up the whole time I was doing it. So why would I do that? I still don't really know. It was a time in my life when I was really suicidal, and I literally didn't care about my life, I didn't care if I got an STD or if I got pregnant. I had sex almost because it was just something to do. A part of it did make me feel good about my body. I liked that somebody liked my body, I could pretend in that moment that they liked me. Even though I knew I was just fooling myself.
I didn't even want to stop. I really still don't fully understand how or why I kept doing it.
The only thing that got me to stop is when I moved about and was in a better environment and wasn't suicidal anymore.
Now, I don't want to assume anything about you. But I do suspect that your home life is not the best environment with the way you talk about your parents. So maybe, is there a way to get into a better place? Do you have group trans or LGBT mettings in your area? I only say trans or LGBT, not because this is related to you being trans, but because these are examples of environments with really supportive, loving people. Maybe you could even talk to a school counselor about all your feelings and she could direct you to supportive environments in your area?
If you are having sex with a guy and you're not attracted to them, I could only imagine that it's because you feel like that's the only way you can physically stimulate yourself...if not, then I'm just confused. If you're going to continue to do this to yourself though, since I noticed how everyone keeps saying that you don't listen, PLEASE USE A CONDOM. I mean, seriously, disrespecting your body and your identity like this is bad enough, but unsafe sex with a bio-male that you don't even know has so many other issues that go with it. Even if you were cis-female, this is still bad. Seriously.
There are lots, and lots, and lots of ways to get people off sexually, only ONE of which results in pregnancy. Time to learn some new tricks.
This is just another form of self-destructive behavior (probably brought on by actual self hate and attention seeking more than lack of confidence). If you want to end up pregnant, with a disease or dead, by all means continue right along the path you're walking down. You'll come to find out there's also lots of other things down that path like drug abuse, alcoholism, violence, and a general feeling of hope for the future completely evaporating from your brain.
You're obviously not even ready to be having sex judging by your behavior and the way you seem to think. Sex can be a wonderful thing between two consenting adults. It can also lead to the creation of another life or a deadly disease. I suggest you do a little growing up and getting to the root of your issues before you jump back in the sack with anyone else.
One last note - condoms don't equal 100% "safe" sex. They do have a failure rate (often exasperated by the wearer if they're not putting it on correctly or at the right time). They're simply safer sex than completely unprotected. And you can pick up diseases from bodily fluids doing any sexual contact not just actual intercourse.
Don't they teach sex ed anymore?
Quote from: insideontheoutside on November 15, 2011, 07:11:17 PM
This is just another form of self-destructive behavior (probably brought on by actual self hate and attention seeking more than lack of confidence). If you want to end up pregnant, with a disease or dead, by all means continue right along the path you're walking down. You'll come to find out there's also lots of other things down that path like drug abuse, alcoholism, violence, and a general feeling of hope for the future completely evaporating from your brain.
You're obviously not even ready to be having sex judging by your behavior and the way you seem to think. Sex can be a wonderful thing between two consenting adults. It can also lead to the creation of another life or a deadly disease. I suggest you do a little growing up and getting to the root of your issues before you jump back in the sack with anyone else.
One last note - condoms don't equal 100% "safe" sex. They do have a failure rate (often exasperated by the wearer if they're not putting it on correctly or at the right time). They're simply safer sex than completely unprotected. And you can pick up diseases from bodily fluids doing any sexual contact not just actual intercourse.
Don't they teach sex ed anymore?
I don't think so, but I didn't go to public school. All we got was have premarital sex and you get expelled and will go to hell. But once you are married make a ton of babies.
We have Sex Ed. I'm still shuddering from the slide show of STDs...
I got sex ed at school starting in 4th grade. That was in the 80's.
I got pregnant after a condom ripped. I think it ripped because I was just not into the sex I was having, and so there was too much dryness. Idk. But I've always always used condoms, and I can vouch for that's not 100 percent, and even intelligent sober people sometimes screw them up. No pun intended.
Quote from: Felix on November 15, 2011, 10:14:44 PM
I got sex ed at school starting in 4th grade. That was in the 80's.
I got pregnant after a condom ripped. I think it ripped because I was just not into the sex I was having, and so there was too much dryness. Idk. But I've always always used condoms, and I can vouch for that's not 100 percent, and even intelligent sober people sometimes screw them up. No pun intended.
True, but it's better than a free-for-all.
Also, perhaps they may be also made better than in the 80s too.
Legalized contraceptives are only around 46 years old, so it's highly possible.
Quote from: JasonRX on November 15, 2011, 10:44:11 PM
True, but it's better than a free-for-all.
Also, perhaps they may be also made better than in the 80s too.
Legalized contraceptives are only around 46 years old, so it's highly possible.
Oh yeah, I wasn't advocating avoiding condoms. Need condoms for std prevention. I was advocating being careful, maybe adding other birth control, but really just not making too many assumptions.
I still like my way more. Find other ways to do it where its' no longer an issue. Condoms used during penis/vaginal sex may not be 100% effective at preventing pregnancy - blow-jobs however are. Beyond that there are all kinds of other wonderfully twisted and deliciously perverted sexual acts that have ZERO chance of pregnancy, and much lower rates of STD transmission too.
you think for someone who isn't into guys at all and is grossed out by sex, a ->-bleeped-<- is fun?
i mean....yeah....maybe......then on the other hand a d*ck in your mouth usually doesn't feel any less degrading?
My friend,
Protect yourself, u should search and get information online, then u don't have to listen to what those guys said, and youself could find out what's right n what's wrong for u.
Stop having sex with people u don't feel like u want.
Dont let ur self so easy like this.
U might have to pay for the consequence for the rest of life, that's no kidding thing. Be careful my friend.
Quote from: emil on November 16, 2011, 04:51:10 AM
you think for someone who isn't into guys at all and is grossed out by sex, a ->-bleeped-<- is fun?
i mean....yeah....maybe......then on the other hand a d*ck in your mouth usually doesn't feel any less degrading?
I have to agree here. I wasn't able to derive much pleasure from oral sex until I was very comfortable and confident sexually, which certainly wasn't at OP's age. Even now, if the guy treats me like a girl it can feel degrading and dysphoric.
But then I'll also agree that 'put the penis in the vagina' is a pretty simplistic way to look at sex, and overlooks a lot of the ways two people can enjoy one another.
Okay. For one thing I HATE attention. I forgot I posted something like this before. I mean really? For another thing I have a problem saying no. I can't say no to anything. I don't want to do it but I do it anyway. And, I hate myself a lot as I think someone said I had self hatred, well I do. I'm not trying to get attention. My self confidence isn't that bad but I don't have a lot of it. Jesus, people are so mean!
Quote from: Slytherin17 on November 16, 2011, 08:37:15 PMOkay. For one thing I HATE attention. I forgot I posted something like this before. I mean really? For another thing I have a problem saying no. I can't say no to anything. I don't want to do it but I do it anyway. And, I hate myself a lot as I think someone said I had self hatred, well I do. I'm not trying to get attention. My self confidence isn't that bad but I don't have a lot of it. Jesus, people are so mean!
Yes, people are mean. but in this case, I just want you to know that I think it's only because they do care about you a little (except the ones who didn't believe you).
This is a support forum and these people here, inside, do want to help you. but I think it's because they can't imagine why you would be like this, they don't understand, is my guess. So basically, I'm saying, try to not to hold it against them, and try to understand their intent behind what they are saying.
I also wanted to ask you to if you read and put any thought into my post? (the last one on the first page). If you lived anywhere near me, I would want to try to support you irl, but since I can't, I hope you can find some support in your area.
i have never had sex with a guy but at one point in my life i would have, and i came close. so i get it, even now every time someone is attracted to me i feel like i need to do them, because people being attracted to me is so rare. of corse i havent had the balls to seal the deal and actually have sex.
i would just try to keep yourself safe. counseling could help too.
I don't think that "mean" is as sufficient as "frustrated". No one wants to be ignored, especially when you had a number of us offering advice that you never really acknowledged. Yes this is a place to get support, but sometimes facing constructive criticism hurts. How do you expect to change if you aren't willing to confront the unpleasant facts? You agree you have problems, but do you actually want to change things about yourself that hold you back? What most people are saying is that you came wanting our input then disregarded it and even argued against most of the advice. Did you not actually WANT advice? If so, next time specify you're just venting. Otherwise people feel like they've wasted their breath. You need to understand that people aren't going to sympathise with you when you A) won't learn from your mistakes and B) won't help yourself.
Well, I'll still sympathize with you when you don't learn from your mistakes and when you won't help yourself, because I've been there.
Quote from: JohnAlex on November 16, 2011, 10:17:52 PM
Well, I'll still sympathize with you when you don't learn from your mistakes and when you won't help yourself, because I've been there.
+1
Some on here have been pretty douchey.
Turns out he's an insensitive prick and I just don't want to be pregnant because he said he would deny it if I was and plus that's my worst nightmare. Thanks for replying to my post, everyone.
JohnAlex: Yes, I read your post and I did put some thought into it. I've been thinking about what everyone else said too.
he would deny it
Hence court-ordered paternity tests. He could deny it all he wants, but when the DNA comes back he better get ready to start ponying up the checks every month for the next 20 years
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on November 16, 2011, 09:24:54 PM
I don't think that "mean" is as sufficient as "frustrated". No one wants to be ignored, especially when you had a number of us offering advice that you never really acknowledged. Yes this is a place to get support, but sometimes facing constructive criticism hurts. How do you expect to change if you aren't willing to confront the unpleasant facts? You agree you have problems, but do you actually want to change things about yourself that hold you back? What most people are saying is that you came wanting our input then disregarded it and even argued against most of the advice. Did you not actually WANT advice? If so, next time specify you're just venting. Otherwise people feel like they've wasted their breath. You need to understand that people aren't going to sympathize with you when you A) won't learn from your mistakes and B) won't help yourself.
^This
You claim that you have self hatred and you do things you don't want because you can't say no - well, how are you going to change that? If you thought everyone here was just going to virtually pat you on the back and go, "aww poor dude that sucks, hope it gets better", that may sound cool but that is not advice and it's a little lackluster even as simple consolation. And if you're going to turn around and and then be all, "people are so mean!" then you're going to just keep doing the same thing over and over. Sounds to me like that's what you want to do ... just keep having sex with guys just because you can or that you want to destroy your life by putting yourself at risk for pregnancy or diseases ... and then post about it on a message board where everyone tried to help you. You claim you hate attention ... well why were you posting exactly? You had a couple questions - people answered those. You explained your situation and people offered advice. Some people pointed out that it seems you've been doing the same thing over and over and pointed that out. What is it you want?
Um, maybe because I'm confused and have no one to tell me what I should do. All I was really asking is if I could get pregnant from pre cum and I asked why would I want to have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. Jesus Christ. A few people answered the first question and a couple answered my second question but the rest of you started talking about something I wasn't asking for.
Quote from: Slytherin17 on November 17, 2011, 12:40:18 AM
Um, maybe because I'm confused and have no one to tell me what I should do. All I was really asking is if I could get pregnant from pre cum and I asked why would I want to have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. Jesus Christ. A few people answered the first question and a couple answered my second question but the rest of you started talking about something I wasn't asking for.
I recommend a therapist. And if you think the rest of us have all just been talking about something you weren't "asking for" then none of what any of us said actually sunk in. You can't just go on a message board and and say (after we've all recommended things you should do), "I have no one to tell me what I should do".
Quote from: Slytherin17 on November 17, 2011, 12:40:18 AM
Um, maybe because I'm confused and have no one to tell me what I should do. All I was really asking is if I could get pregnant from pre cum and I asked why would I want to have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. Jesus Christ. A few people answered the first question and a couple answered my second question but the rest of you started talking about something I wasn't asking for.
Actually..you only asked one question (about the pre-ejaculate). The other was a statement. How is anyone else supposed to know why you're having sex with these guys? I think most of us are just frustrated, like Kreuzfidel said. You've made similar threads and posts before, asking for advice, but you seemingly never take it to heart. So yeah, people are going to get upset. You say you have no one to "tell" you what to do. Here are a good number of guys (and girls) giving you suggestions, advice, and support. Either take it or don't, but you really should learn to take responsibility for your actions.
I asked why would I want to have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to
Because if your doing it right good sex is it's own reward. You don't have to have attachment to make it great. You do have to have control however.