I've found over the years that sometimes something unexpected or small can be a real boost to make you feel more confident and/or comfortable with yourself. So what are the things (large and small) that do it for you guys? Listing some things might give others the inspiration to try something that might end up working for them.
For me lately it's been:
1) Exercise. I'm not doing some intense workout or anything. It's been a slow process over this past year (this month makes 1 solid year of continuous working out) but I've seen some results and they're not all physical. Some actually are mental in that I just feel better about myself.
2) My hair. I consider this a small thing but dying my hair black and getting the "rocker" cut totally did it for me. I've done a lot of experimenting on the hair front and if my hair isn't "right", I'm not right.
3) Layered clothing. Now that it's cold again I can wear layers and this just makes me more comfortable in general.
1) Cargo shorts. I don't know why, but I feel better about myself while wearing them.
2) Hoodies. I can't wear them in school because of the uniform policy, but they make me feel better because I can hide the chest tumors with them.
3) My wrist watch. I feel more masculine checking a watch, as opposed to pulling out a cellphone. I don't really know why.
Cutting my hair, shaving, putting on my cosmetic effects, sex with my wife, having a few beers with my father-in-law.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on November 15, 2011, 06:59:23 PM
1) Exercise. I'm not doing some intense workout or anything. It's been a slow process over this past year (this month makes 1 solid year of continuous working out) but I've seen some results and they're not all physical. Some actually are mental in that I just feel better about myself.
this this this
my dr martin boots, and a cigarette 8)
1. cooking, it makes me proud and happy that i made something that other people really like.
2. chilling in my boxers, it makes me feel manly and bad ass.
3. my hair, same as insideontheoutside.
Wearing my boxer-briefs, packing even while sleeping (it's improved my sleep too!), changing up my hair, and hearing that I am a handsome boy. ^_^
The new clothes I've bought which everyone agrees are much more masculine, not to mention, suit me well! It's been a big change on my self esteem.
Definitely going to the gym.
:]
3) Layered clothing. Now that it's cold again I can wear layers and this just makes me more comfortable in general.
This times a million. I felt horrible in the summer having to just wear a t-shirt because it's so hot.
Also, my binder, it's crazy but I'm a fair deal less shy than I used to be. I can easily talk to people when I'm wearing it, instead of worrying about how stupid I must look.
Band practice, because my voice is one of the few things I've always loved about myself.
Like insideontheoutside, both layering and my hair. Especially when I've got my trench on, its so comfortable I just don't give a damn.
Being with my boyfriend too, he switched over to always calling me he incredibly fast and never slips up anymore, so its great. he's also defused a few potentially awkward/bad situations with his humor and general good people skills (that I, unfortunately, seem to completely lack).
ditto on exercise
fixing stuff
working my way through what was a very long list of things to do regarding transition/name changes. It's a short list now.
hanging tough in difficult, awkward, uncomfortable situations
learning new stuff...especially stuff that provides opportunies to interact with other guys
When my girl tells me I'm sexy, new clothes
and........ sex ;)
I'll be the 20th person to second layering. And I just happen to love fall/winter clothes from an aesthetic perspective. Definitely more of a sweater/pants person than a shorts/tshirt person.
My hair. Although I loved having longer hair, I needed a change and recently went to the barber for the first time and got it cut short. Although I was pretty intimidated at first, I walked out of there feeling more confident than I had in a long time.
Also, when other guys (that I don't personally know) call me "bro/dude/etc." The first time it happened, it made my day.
I feel confident when I walk my dog and she behaves. When I wear an outfit that looks great...when I'm read as male/called "he" or "sir." Ummm...when I get compliments that aren't skeevy/misgendering/nonpliments...when I beat a car to the next light (not actually drag racing but a drag race in my head).
Can't think of anything else.
When I get called "he/sir". Binding my chest. I know it isn't perfect and I'm far from 100% flat, but it's better than the alternative.
Short head hair
Armpit/leg hair
Boxers, and button up shirts
Going "like a man"
Being called skipper, young man/fellow, and man by other men
Doing a job at work that is only done by males, and being told constantly I do it better than the others :)
When my friends call me Kyle, or ask what name I want them to call me
BINDER!!!!!
Boots
Oh yeahhhh :icon_cool:
Being able to walk to class in -40F and not whine about it like everyone else in town. Like a boss.
Doing something I'm good at. Feeling like I have skills.
Shadow Boxing like a UFC fighter
Beating Video Games
Making serious faces
Standing up for myself
-Learning to dance like a boss
-Exercising
-Wearing form-fitted clothes (not tight ones, but not baggy clothes either)
-Learning more languages - currently working on Latin
Remembering - oh btw this is corny - remembering that I'm not like other people, that nobody is like other people, and it's not only painful and unhealthy to compare myself to other people, it's usually inaccurate.
Remembering that makes me feel more confident. I'd probably be suicidal if I ever forgot that for very long.
listening to my youtube playlist. idk if i can link it though. full of songs that make me feel boss as a mofo
A good swift kick in the ass from a friend who sees that my self esteem might be suffering a bit.
Sorry, I didn't realize I was on the other side of the border. :) My bad, I rarely know where I'm at anyway
1.) Working out
2.) Sunglasses make me feel bad ass.
3.) Packing sometimes boosts my confidence.
4.) Using the male bathroom for some reason .
and number 5. . .
5.) Socializing with attractive women
Working out, clean boxers, and being able to impress both ladies and gentlemen as me. There's nothing that strokes my ego more than charming someone. <--- but I am a terrible person
- Those days when my chest decides to look flat and masculine in just a binder and form-fitting tee.
- Binder, undershirts, and layering in general.
- My sunglasses. 8)
- My piano and music.
- Passing in public with an "all girls" community service group.
- Passing, even when someone knows my name is [insert "extremely feminine girl-only name with no male equivalent" here].
- Passing in general.
- Showing off my skills in random/obscure things like word-searches, pre-calc, and sketching.
- Working out.
- New clothes.
Working out and knowing I pass are two big ones for me.
Very late to the party, but-
Science makes me feel good about myself. I love collective knowledge, and understanding.
Binding. Definitely a big one.
Looking good. I need to look good when I go out, and I tend to have mini-breakdowns if I have a 'wardrobe malfunction.'
My hair. If I feel my hair doesn't look good then I don't feel good.
Books [especially old-edition/old-print books] and tea!
The fact that I recently decided to convert to Reform Judaism which I had been thinking about for 2 years.
Learning Hebrew.
Learning Russian.
Creating my own language-which i gave up on, but i still felt kickass while doing it.
practicing my sfx makeup skills- the one thing im really good at.
learning to drive my car which is manual
stopping on a hill with cars behind me and not stalling or rolling back 50 feet.
getting a job at walmart
getting a y membership
working out makes me feel horrible because my rolls be floppin to and fro but whatev
getting told by my boss i have broad shoulders
my mother moved out so im in the house and its nice and quiet and there's no one to lower my self esteem which she did daily, no more loud music at 3 am , no more drugs- since shes moved the only time i hear incorrect pronouns is when i talk to other family which i rarely do :D
made a duck tape wallet
my facial hair is coming in on the cheeks, within a few months i may have a legit beard
my chest hair is thickening as well as my back hair and sadly crack hair too- its like a jungle that continues to expand
being bald
getting my first tattoo
watching Being Human-havent missed an episode in 2 years since it came on here in america, guess you could say im one of the founding watchers
-when girls at my work ask me to reach or carry something for them because it's too high or heavy
-when i play saxophone with my music teacher and he compliments my sight reading
-when it's not 1000 degrees outside and i can wear a sweater and look broad and manly
Packing while sleeping. I sleep better
Not saying sorry all the time especially when it's not my fault
gaining muscle mass
Being called "Sir"
Troy
Talking to important people (people I find important, anyway)& being treated as they treat the other males.
Being acknowledged as "bro" or "man" in the restroom. This morning, for instance, I was in my boxers& had a towel drapped over parts of my chest& a guy from my floor nodded& gave a "morning bro." I used to feel very nervous about these situations but I've found I am read as male 100% so long as there are no parts exposed that bio males don't tend to have.
#1 thing - being with my girl.
#2 - wearing clothing that fits well and looks good - makes me look flat or thinner in the thighs.
#3 - yeah, being acknowledged as dude or bro or man or even on the phone "mr. nichols"
Random guy coming up to me last night and proclaiming loudly "I love your hair, bro". Unexpected compliments from strangers, though rare, are awesome.
Getting new manly clothes,listening to music,watching formula 1,reading a car magazine,watching any show about cars basically,looking at pretty women,going to forums online