Hi girls.
Im just looking for opinions.
This guy ive been talking to continuously joke about my penis. He often would make jokes about it "your penis is small" or "are you gonna get a hardon now"... Now i know hes just joking but is it weird to be upset about these types of jokes? Its like calling a mentally disabled child retarded...
I become icky everytime he or anyone else reminds me i have a penis.
He said that I am being too sensitive and that i need to take things less seriously. But i alrdy explained to him that im insecure about it (body dysphoria) but he doesnt get it. He said to just be happy that i have supportive parents, and that i can pass well and that a 'fake' vagina doesn't make me any differently than what i am now. To be happy for what i am and what i have. I will always be trista.
that said am i being too sensitive or is it justifiable that i feel this way?
Quote from: Trista T on November 20, 2011, 11:24:57 PM
Hi girls.
Im just looking for opinions.
This guy ive been talking to continuously joke about my penis. He often would make jokes about it "your penis is small" or "are you gonna get a hardon now"... Now i know hes just joking but is it weird to be upset about these types of jokes? Its like calling a mentally disabled child retarded...
I become icky everytime he or anyone else reminds me i have a penis.
He said that I am being too sensitive and that i need to take things less seriously. But i alrdy explained to him that im insecure about it (body dysphoria) but he doesnt get it. He said to just be happy that i have supportive parents, and that i can pass well and that a 'fake' vagina doesn't make me any differently than what i am now. To be happy for what i am and what i have. I will always be trista.
that said am i being too sensitive or is it justifiable that i feel this way?
You aren't being too sensitive, that's blaming you for feeling which isn't right at all..
You should be open about how this makes you feel, and set boundaries on what he can say.
You should start looking forward to surgery :) it seems like something you want.
No other Trista, but I don't think you should take it too seriously. Cisguys are just dumb that way.
So, if you were sensitive about a huge scar or birthmark on your face, would the guy constantly point it out and make comments about it? If you were depressed about, say, the recent death of your father, would this guy constantly remind you of it, even if you asked him to stop?
Make sure he knows that you are distressed when he comments about your parts. If he knows but keeps mentioning it, he's an ass who doesn't deserve friendship--in my opinion.
I guess another option is to pretend that it doesn't matter, but that's hard to do when you have genuine dysphoria and someone else is making it worse.
Trista wtf happened to your Youtube videos? I just noticed they're all gone o.O
Quote from: Trista T on November 20, 2011, 11:24:57 PM
that said am i being too sensitive or is it justifiable that i feel this way?
That's an invalid question. However you feel is however you feel. That's the way it is. It's your body, it's your life. You are the exclusive authority on that. He really doesn't need to "get it," he just needs to keep his mouth shut. And that is totally separate from whether you need to work on feeling more comfortable with your body or not, which is again entirely up to you.
Quote from: Sarah7 on November 20, 2011, 11:56:40 PM
That's an invalid question. However you feel is however you feel. That's the way it is. It's your body, it's your life. You are the exclusive authority on that. He really doesn't need to "get it," he just needs to keep his mouth shut. And that is totally separate from whether you need to work on feeling more comfortable with your body or not, which is again entirely up to you.
Agreed.
I don't know why but guys seem to enjoy purposely bringing up stuff that bothers someone else. Men are dicks ::)
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 21, 2011, 12:23:16 AMI don't know why but guys seem to enjoy purposely bringing up stuff that bothers someone else. Men are dicks ::)
I guess my ex isn't really a guy, then. He would never think of doing something like this. Nor would my best friend, now that I think about it. Or any of my other male friends, when it comes to that.
Quote from: Trista T on November 20, 2011, 11:24:57 PM
Hi girls.
Im just looking for opinions.
This guy ive been talking to continuously joke about my penis. He often would make jokes about it "your penis is small" or "are you gonna get a hardon now"... Now i know hes just joking but is it weird to be upset about these types of jokes? Its like calling a mentally disabled child retarded...
I become icky everytime he or anyone else reminds me i have a penis.
He said that I am being too sensitive and that i need to take things less seriously. But i alrdy explained to him that im insecure about it (body dysphoria) but he doesnt get it. He said to just be happy that i have supportive parents, and that i can pass well and that a 'fake' vagina doesn't make me any differently than what i am now. To be happy for what i am and what i have. I will always be trista.
that said am i being too sensitive or is it justifiable that i feel this way?
Why do you even speak to him? He is an insensitive jerk. Get rid of him pronto.
JMO
Cindy
Quote from: Cindy James on November 21, 2011, 04:18:59 AM
Why do you even speak to him? He is an insensitive jerk. Get rid of him pronto.
JMO
Cindy
I FULLY AGREE!WHAT AN INSENSITIVE STINK-TOSS! Nothing different,whether its physical or verbal abuse.If you like to be spoken to quietly,why would you put up with yelling?
I don't think you are being too sensitive. I think most of us wouldn't feel very good if someone continuously joked about that.
But the thing is, immature guys just like to make jokes about penises and stuff like that. (Don't most young boys do that?) If you weren't trans, he probably would still talk about penises a lot.
So if after you explain to him that his jokes hurt your feelings and he doesn't get it / doesn't stop, he probably is just too immature to understand.
In that case I probably wouldn't really be close friends with someone like that, but more because I don't like being friends with immature guys than because I'm offended by him...
As for me, if it's a close friend of mine, I probably could take some jokes of being a trans girl. I might even crack some myself too. But definitely not continuously!
He knows he can keep you the little one with this words, when you are little, he is feeling a bit bigger, you see it with insecure people, they need that for their ego.
He is just a little boy with a big mouth.
In other words, get rid of that scumbag.
love
Annette
Quote from: Cindy James on November 21, 2011, 04:18:59 AM
Why do you even speak to him? He is an insensitive jerk. Get rid of him pronto.
JMO
Cindy
This X 10000000000. He has "issues"... and that's putting it mildly.
He probably wants to be a girl too!!
But seriously, He is disrespecting you. I can imagine if it is someone from High School because of the immaturity level. I would let him know that he needs to act mature otherwise you can't be friends with him because it bothers you. Or something like that. I'm pretty much on agreement with many here, that you are not being too sensitive.