Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: MsDazzler on November 23, 2011, 12:13:22 AM

Title: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 23, 2011, 12:13:22 AM
Let's say. ideally (assuming your family and friends are accepting, you have not lost anybody because of transitioning, you are out at your job, you have a partner who knows and accept, etc)

Which community would you prefer to hang out with:

Straight/Bi natal males                         Straight/Bi FTMs

Gay/Bi natal males                                Gay/Bi FTMs

Straight/Bi natal females                       Straight/Bi MTFs

Lesbian/Bi natal females                        Lesbian/Bi MTFs

The reason I ask this is because, for example, I know for some trans people, they feel like they have no choice but to hang out with other transgender people because their families and friends rejects them but some trans people prefer to hang out with other trans peopl exclusively.... etc, etc

Also, as an other example,  I have noticed in my real-life observations that you barely or hardly see FTMs hanging out with MTFs. By choice?

So who would YOU prefer to hang out with?

Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: stldrmgrl on November 23, 2011, 12:16:00 AM
I am not specific in each person's orientation for which I hang out with.  Quite frankly it's irrelevant to me on a friendship basis.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Whitney on November 23, 2011, 12:26:49 AM
Girls who wear flannel. I'm loose about how you define girl, but flannel, that's not budging.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Lily on November 23, 2011, 12:44:50 AM
Both of my friends right now are mtf. I don't really know anyone else. I've always kinda been that way, just having two or three friends. I'm a very private person and it takes a lot of emotional energy to open up to someone enough to even be a friend. I tend to gravitate toward people who have similarities to me so that maybe there will be some degree of understanding right away.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Torn1990 on November 23, 2011, 12:47:49 AM
gender queer
or queer folks of all kinds
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: apple pie on November 23, 2011, 12:52:07 AM
Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 23, 2011, 12:16:00 AM
I am not specific in each person's orientation for which I hang out with.  Quite frankly it's irrelevant to me on a friendship basis.

Same for me. I've never gone anywhere specifically where LGBT people hang out. And though I am considerably more likely to develop a deeper friendship with girls, I like to have fun with the boys too and just muck around and do things together, etc.

They may happen to be trans or gay, but it doesn't affect whether I want to hang around with them.
I don't actually have any trans friend in real life, but only because I haven't come across one whom I have a chance of knowing (or maybe I have and don't know that he or she is trans).
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: lonely girl on November 23, 2011, 01:12:37 AM
I don't care  ;D but I know none TS IRL that lives in the city. Maybe just a coincidence... but alot of friends I met normally at HS/Uni turned out to be gay/les/bi lmao...
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: AndromedaVox on November 23, 2011, 01:21:59 AM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 23, 2011, 12:19:01 AM
Straight/Bi and gay males.

Real girls are catty, transgirls I barely know any in my area...I won't even get started on lezzies.
''

Real girls? Really?
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Rabbit on November 23, 2011, 06:25:58 AM
The friends I hang out with most are cis straight (one is a tiny bi curious) girls.

I have guy friends, but found they just start to annoy me with their crude jokes... and tend to not be too open about things.

My girlfriends are really open though and we can chat about anything (like sex, which guys would super rarely talk about and not too openly). I also found I have a lot in common with the girls (like even similar tastes in men).
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Padma on November 23, 2011, 06:32:07 AM
Each person's different from the next, individually - but collectively?

I spent yesterday evening visiting an LGBT cafe where I'm planning to volunteer, and it ended up being me, and 5 gay guys. They spent the whole evening setting the world to rights, making innuendos about each other's arses, and comparing their mobile phones ::). Oh yes, and they were woefully uninformed about trans issues. Sure, it's not a statistically significant sample, but I generally have a much better time hanging out with non-straight women in groups :). Individually, I like who I like, gender/sexuality/whatever regardless.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: justmeinoz on November 23, 2011, 06:34:26 AM
At the moment I think I'd prefer to hang out with muso's and motorcyclists if I had to nominate anyone other than my friends. 
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: JennX on November 23, 2011, 06:48:08 AM
I like to hang out with cool, like-minded people... and prefer not to classify them beyond that?  ???
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Erin H on November 23, 2011, 06:53:08 AM
most of my friends are straight/bi girls but i have a few straight/bi boys who i am friends with :)

I know no TS people at all in person but i have some TS friends online x x
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: JenJen2011 on November 23, 2011, 08:01:25 AM
I just hang out with all my loving family and partner.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: lonely girl on November 23, 2011, 10:10:40 AM
Quote from: salisha on November 23, 2011, 06:53:08 AM
I know no TS people at all in person but i have some TS friends online x x
Like me <3
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Amazon D on November 23, 2011, 10:50:42 AM
Farmers and conservationist and both have to be hard workers because unless your disabled i don't care for lazy people. However, i do realize some people don't know how to find or make work (which basically means being creative) and so i may include them in the disabled category  ;D
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: ClockworkAnna on November 23, 2011, 11:04:05 AM
Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 23, 2011, 12:16:00 AM
I am not specific in each person's orientation for which I hang out with.  Quite frankly it's irrelevant to me on a friendship basis.

This, by chance most of my friends of lesbians. I do feel somewhat uncomfortable around males but I try not to let that change anything. 
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: eli77 on November 23, 2011, 11:23:15 AM
On an individual basis, or with people who are already friends, it is totally irrelevant. But groups of strangers - I'm more comfortable around other girls. I think just out of habit. I went into an arts program for writing in high school, then English literature in university, and then finally editing for post-grad. That means being around 95% women, basically.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Lynn on November 23, 2011, 11:28:26 AM
I prefer to hang out with people I happen to like. That's pretty much my only requirement.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Annah on November 23, 2011, 11:34:35 AM
I hang out with my friends and acquaintances. I don't look at sexuality or gender identification as a deciding factor with whom I will hang out with.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 23, 2011, 11:58:36 AM
Interesting, interesting.... for me, personally, I feel very comfortable with straight natal females, gay natal males, and very selectively some trans women.

My reasons for each:

Straight natal females = the very epitome of who I am and want to be, good tutors in all female ways, fun to go out with to straight bars/clubs

Gay natal males = heck, I used to be gay so I still have tons of gay friends who I haven't lost when I transitioned :) fortunately for me, they are pretty well-educated about transgender people, I know many gay men are not

Very selectively "some trans women" = I am all for hanging out with my trans sisters, but I do not like the drama queens or bitchy ones... or the ones who stroll down and up on the street at all hours in cheap dresses that barely hug their asses and stilletos. lol. I like trans women who actually have an education, are cool, mature, and do not have a cocky attitude just because they have implants.

Other than that, I am a very private person, and like someone else mentioned above, don't become friends with someone right away easily. :)
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: LordKAT on November 24, 2011, 10:38:36 AM
I prefer to NOT hang out in any society.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 24, 2011, 12:51:45 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on November 24, 2011, 10:38:36 AM
I prefer to NOT hang out in any society.

Really? Then what do you do, hole up at home 24/7 with a laptop?  >:-)
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Pica Pica on November 24, 2011, 01:31:54 PM
I prefer to hang out with groups that have variety - so no all male/female straight/gay stuff for me. Indeed, I tend to leave events monopolised by one kind of viewpoint or background.

My current group that I go for drinks with has a gay gay, three straight ones, seven straight women (predominantly Scottish) and me. Between them they speak 5 languages (and Scottish) and the conversations flow around the topics nicely and naturally.
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 24, 2011, 05:54:14 PM
I wanted to clarify - I do not seek out people solely based on their sexual orientations or gender!  :o It is just that I tend to happen to gravitate towards those communities that I feel most comfortable with.  8)

*** Edited the thread's original title to reflect my intention more accurately ***
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Sunnynight on November 24, 2011, 05:57:33 PM
My friends are in the "all of the above" category.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Princess of Hearts on November 24, 2011, 06:29:23 PM
I don't hang out with anybody, I am not a mixer or a 'scene' person at all.

Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Lily on November 24, 2011, 10:42:22 PM
Quote from: Happy Girl! on November 24, 2011, 06:29:23 PM
I don't hang out with anybody, I am not a mixer or a 'scene' person at all.

I tend to be the same way. I hate parties and groups. Everything I do is in duos.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on November 24, 2011, 11:24:29 PM
I don't get along with most girls.
Guys only, orientation doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Meshi on November 25, 2011, 12:32:56 AM
Community?? lol what is that?  i think it is fictitious.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Silas on November 25, 2011, 01:11:34 AM
I tend to hang out mostly with guys, I think, but I prefer the company of somewhat feminine/androgynous people as a whole, sex and gender aside. I don't have a ton of friends -- I'd count at least five -- two girls (one straight, one gay), three guys (two straight, one I don't know -- but if he's straight, then AAAWWWW  >:-) ) haaha.

I really like genderqueer and agender people, though I don't know any in person. -waves Forever Alone flag-
Oddly, I seem to get along best with gay/bi/pan/etc. girls and feminine black guys. It's fun.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: annette on November 25, 2011, 01:45:19 AM
I like to hang out with people I like, their gender or sexual attraction isn't important to me.
I also don't believe in some kind of community, we are people, we are all on this world and we have to live together in a proper way.
It doesn't matter or a friend of my is straight, gay or whatever, the only thing that matters for friendship is the person
Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: Rebekah with a K-A-H on November 25, 2011, 01:48:43 AM
Quote from: Whitney on November 23, 2011, 12:26:49 AM
Girls who wear flannel. I'm loose about how you define girl, but flannel, that's not budging.  :laugh:

Whitney, you seem pretty cool.  I'm making this judgment based solely on your approval of flannel.  I feel this is appropriate.

Seriously, though.  I don't choose to hang out with "people who are trans" or "people who are cis".  I do, however, hang out with lesbians.  Because, yo.  They're women who like women.  And as a woman who likes women, that's pretty rad.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: EmmaM on November 25, 2011, 01:53:40 AM
I hang out with nerd guys and (for some unknown reason) hispanic women. How this happens, I don't know.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on November 25, 2011, 01:54:53 AM
Quote from: EmmaM on November 25, 2011, 01:53:40 AM
(for some unknown reason) hispanic women. How this happens, I don't know.

So... whatcha doing Saturday night..?
creepycreepycreepy.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: EmmaM on November 25, 2011, 02:08:35 AM
Quote from: JoeyD on November 25, 2011, 01:54:53 AM
So... whatcha doing Saturday night..?
creepycreepycreepy.

Nothing, and I just got paid  ;)
creepyrightback
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 25, 2011, 03:31:46 PM
Quote from: Silas on November 25, 2011, 01:11:34 AM

I really like genderqueer and agender people, though I don't know any in person. -waves Forever Alone flag-
Oddly, I seem to get along best with gay/bi/pan/etc. girls and feminine black guys. It's fun.

It is interesting... I have gone to several queer and genderqueer bars and parties, but never felt like I fit in. Probably because I identify as being a heterosexual woman strongly so I tend to feel comfortable with others who have either male or female identities, rather than andro or queer.

Not that there is nothing wrong with that... I live with a roommate who identifies as "ze" and prefers to be andro/ambigious. We get along fine but we have very different circles of friends and preferences for bars/clubs.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Vicky Thomas on November 25, 2011, 05:37:41 PM
I have only experienced straight and bisexuals where i live, dont know anyone transgendered at all ! My closest female friend knows a few trans people, but she dont even know about me so cant ask her to introduce us..... cant bare the thought of telling her, we have been closer then close if you know what i mean, i think it might ruin our friendship. But then again i think she might already have suspicions...... the other day i went to see her and she had just done her smokey eye makeup, so i complimented her on how hot she looked and she said " should let me do yours" ! HAHAHA !!! So is any trans on here from Worcestershire, England that would like to make a new friend ???
     Vicki x
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Naturally Blonde on November 25, 2011, 06:37:41 PM
I am most comfortable hanging out with everyday straight people! I don't hang out with any other genre.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Jaime on November 25, 2011, 10:14:44 PM
Your average people critter types, I suppose. Although, typically the older ones and most often couples, even though I am single. I have a couple gay friends, but they're neighbors as well. Not too many transpeople where I live although some good friends have a trans daughter that I've only met once.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Forever21Chic on November 25, 2011, 10:15:37 PM
   I prefer to hang out with straight cisgender men & women. Most of my friends are straight but i don't mind hanging out with gay and lesbian people either. I don't like hanging out with other trans IRL though cuz it reminds me that i'm trans and to be honest i don't wanna get clocked. Sadly i'm starting to feel the same way about online ts communites too.   
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Julie Marie on November 25, 2011, 10:18:31 PM
I like hanging out with people who have a good sense of humor, don't take themselves too seriously, that I have things in common with and who like to have fun.  I could care less about their sexuality, gender identity, ethnicity, height, weight, hair color or accent.  But speaking English helps because I can't speak any other languages.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: MsDazzler on November 26, 2011, 01:16:16 AM
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 25, 2011, 10:15:37 PM
   I prefer to hang out with straight cisgender men & women. Most of my friends are straight but i don't mind hanging out with gay and lesbian people either. I don't like hanging out with other trans IRL though cuz it reminds me that i'm trans and to be honest i don't wanna get clocked. Sadly i'm starting to feel the same way about online ts communites too.

That is funny - people keep telling me that I should make more trans friends, but aside from the fact that they are a minority to begin with meaning they are difficult to find, the ones I have seen so far have not impressed me at all. They were full of attitude, fake superiority, and parade around on streets at nighttime, whoring it in stilettos and $5 dresses that barely cover their implanted asses. I know they are not representative of the TG/TS community-wide, but I despise it when they flaunt their transsexuality for everyone to see in oversexualized ways.

Out of about 10 transpeople I have known personally, I only really hang out with two of them, and even at that, not much at all.

And why would you feel about that about online TS communities? How would that get you clocked because it is Internet and not in real life?  ??? ???

Title: Re: Which community do you prefer to hang out with?
Post by: LordKAT on November 26, 2011, 01:44:13 AM
Quote from: MsDazzler on November 24, 2011, 12:51:45 PM
Really? Then what do you do, hole up at home 24/7 with a laptop?  >:-)

almost, I work and then go home and hole up in my room with a laptop.  I also go hiking by myself.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Carolina1983 on November 26, 2011, 02:41:16 AM
Females bacause I cant get along with males.


If they are genetic females or not doesnt matter as long as I like them as a person.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: noeleena on November 26, 2011, 03:09:54 AM
Hi,

Im a woman accepted as one ,  joined women only groups & world wide , some groups im a member of are mixed. im not trans or a dresser, tho that would have been okay. I S as it is .

I get on   pretty well with others & even some men & that was for myself a struggle  for 50 years,

And in many ways thats because those men are not agresive  just nice men in thier own way. tho i do have male friends that have known me over 54 years.  plus women of cause,

Most of  my friends are women as i relate with them & have for 54 years, as i was growing  up as a kid, to adult,

...noeleena...
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Forever21Chic on November 26, 2011, 03:49:02 AM
Quote from: MsDazzler on November 26, 2011, 01:16:16 AM
They were full of attitude, fake superiority, and parade around on streets at nighttime, whoring it in stilettos and $5 dresses that barely cover their implanted asses. I know they are not representative of the TG/TS community-wide, but I despise it when they flaunt their transsexuality for everyone to see in oversexualized ways.

  Lol sounds like the transwomen at my old support group, always dressed up in tight dresses with cheap shoes tons of makeup and lots of large jewelry pieces....I shudder thinking about it. Our meetings consisted of them preaching their ideals about being trans on a soap box back and fourth to each other (kinda like some of the people here lol) which was followed up by lots of arguing and sometimes even fighting. I think my friend danielle and myself were the only reasonable people there and the only ones that didn't look like drag queens.

QuoteAnd why would you feel about that about online TS communities? How would that get you clocked because it is Internet and not in real life?  ??? ???

  What i meant was it reminds me of being trans which makes me depressed, not to mention all the drama.  ::) 
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Pica Pica on November 26, 2011, 12:32:20 PM
Quote from: Julie Marie on November 25, 2011, 10:18:31 PM
English helps because I can't speak any other languages.

Though miming can be fun, especially tiddly miming.
Title: Re: Which community do you feel most comfortable hanging out with?
Post by: Felix on November 26, 2011, 12:52:35 PM
I keep people irl at arms length. I try not to hang out with anybody long enough for them to get close to me.

That said, I like gay people (by which I mean the whole GLBTQIetc spectrum), but I tend more to end up with politically active/change the world types, and also nerds and outdoorsy people.

Having a kid always with me means I end up in lots of contact with other parents, but my daughter and I are apparently not wholesome enough for most of them.