Disclaimer - I only sent her to walk around outside. She's catching bugs, safe and within a well-defined perimeter.
This kid in the space of a few minutes told me the deodorant I was trying smelled like perfume, that I have chicken legs, and that my jeans look like girl pants. She told me to put on another binder because my belly was poochy. I know I shouldn't let a little kid get to me, but I was feeling pretty badass and didn't realize at first how disconcerting it was getting to be followed around and criticized. Stupid little fashionista (I didn't say that to her).
I didn't know I was getting testy until I yelled at her to goddamit stop staring there's nothing wrong with me if you're gonna be nasty I don't want to talk to you get the hell out of my house. And oh put some sneakers on first. And hey stay on this block. And be careful. But goddammit get out of my sight.
I'm taking deep breaths now. Calm, calm. Lol we need our own bedrooms.
LOL! yea, it can be really annoying when your graded on presentation. Which for me is really frustrating because my wardrobe consists of 3 pairs of jeans a few button-up front shirts and a mountain of t-shirts. But think of it this way, at least she cares enough to kind of give you a checklist. And she was probably really bored. My son doesnt say a word and my daughters... well, they are teenagers. enough said right?
This underscores what I'm saying in the Do I Pass thread about the messages that young girls get from us about appearance. I've sent my kids for walks too. GOOD FOR YOU. Make this a teachable moment.
Hugs. :)
Had to kinda laugh cause you made sure she was ok when she went out. I do the same thing when I get frustrated with my boy.
Its hard enough to be a parent but to have them nit pick us yeah ouch. There are always going to be days where you get on each others nerves. Its just what we do to our parents right. Keep in mind you have plenty of support here. I know you've said she is mostly fine with the transition for you. As much as a teen girl is with anything her parent does.
When my daughter was little she was a real firecracker. She was a real firecracker when she was a teenager and ... well, you get the idea.
One time when we were building the house and living in an apartment, my spouse took the kids to a local laundromat to do the clothes. I was working on the house. My daughter was 3 and my son was 1. My spouse told them to sit in the chairs while she loaded the washer. As soon as she moved toward the washer my daughter grabbed her brother's hand and took him outside. There was a sidewalk and a parking lot right there. My spouse saw them missing and ran outside and dragged them back in and scolded my daughter. My daughter stood there looking up with fire in her eyes.
Back into the seats they went and back to the laundry my spouse went. Sure enough my daughter got up grabbed her brother's hand again and out they went and the situation repeated itself. Only this time my daughter stared daggers at her mom.
The third time it happened my daughter got a swift whack on the butt. Suddenly she put her hands on her hips, stared up at her mom, flames coming from her eyes, and said, "NOW I'M REALLY MAD!!!" We're talking a three year old here.
It gave new meaning to the saying, "Kids say the darndest things." And it was a precursor for what was awaiting us in the future.
Felix, I feel for you man.
I think everyone loses it at some point. The kids have this great ability to just push you so innocently over the edge because they are so uninhibited and don't understand yet so well the cause of action.
Quote from: Felix on November 25, 2011, 04:50:02 PM
This kid in the space of a few minutes told me the deodorant I was trying smelled like perfume, that I have chicken legs, and that my jeans look like girl pants. She told me to put on another binder because my belly was poochy.
This sounds a little bit like she is struggling a bit with your transition. Like she wants to make sure she is not loosing you or your love as a parent because of your transition. How is that going?
My daughter is only 2 and a half so she doesn't know any different and therefore we don't have these kind of issues.
QuoteThis sounds a little bit like she is struggling a bit with your transition. Like she wants to make sure she is not loosing you or your love as a parent because of your transition. How is that going?
She
probably struggles with my transition in some ways, but she used to struggle with my not being girly. She used to ask all the time why I didn't wear makeup and stuff.
She's also a hormonal kid who changes her own clothes several times a day and ends up in tears sometimes because she can't get her hair just right. And she saw me looking in the mirror as I changed, which I used to never ever do. My focusing on my appearance is definitely new, and maybe she's just doing with me what she does with herself?
I really don't know, but to be fair to her, I myself was surprised at how aggravated I got. The dynamics between us are changing fast. Puberty is hitting her like a hurricane, and I'll be starting hormones myself in a few weeks. Lol. I'm going to have to be careful.
Ha! say WHAT?!
I'm told this morning my tits are under my arms... !!
Now I need to address this --- get some uncomfortable push-up bras...?!
Life's a bitch, eh
Axélle
Quote from: Felix on November 26, 2011, 02:22:52 AM
The dynamics between us are changing fast. Puberty is hitting her like a hurricane, and I'll be starting hormones myself in a few weeks. Lol. I'm going to have to be careful.
That is kind of great too besides being very challenging. You both will be going through puberty at the same time. You already know what she is going through but you are entering new waters with HRT. It might actually help for your mutual understanding if both of you find empathy for each other knowing that the other is experience the same thing only 180 degrees around. A chance to grow closer or apart? I hope it's not the latter!