I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but I was thinking what Pica Pica said a few discussions ago and since then I've read so many times things like, "the kind of guy I was always meant to be" or "finally becoming the girl I have always been" and I'm wondering what, if anything, is the equivalent for me or someone who's andro ? besides saying "the kind of andro I was always meant to be" because does that make any sense ? I was asked by a co worker today if I was gay and inside my head I'm thinking yes (for X reasons) and then I thought NO, not gay (because of X reasons) and then I thought well, lets keep this simple and just say yes but then I thought Wait, why should I keep it simple if ( for X reasons) I'm actually NOT gay and so I'm looking the guy in the face saying nothing because I was trying to be honest, reasoning it all out, and the dude just sneared at me like I think he's genuinely pissed at me for being an ass to him which I wasn't meaning to be at all but getting back to my original thought, how the hell does a andro or genderfluid person or intersexed or someone who isn't trans\confident they are 100% one sex ...know what exactly or where exactly the point is that it can be said "there... I found it....thats exactly what I was meant to be" Keep in mind that I'm coming from the perspective that I totally hate being me, hate being andro, hate not knowing if I'm gay or not, like wth is up with that !! am I such a freak that I don't even know if I'm gay !! ... sigh ... days like this I can honestly say I give up which is what happens continually and then I get this huge dark cloud of 'I hate everyone in the world' brooding inside of me but of course I work with the public so I have to smile and be "on" and look like I'm not ready to stick a knife in my head as soon I can find one pointy enough and strong enough that it might actually do the trick and not just injury myself and cause MORE pain. So from this perspective, I birth my question and if it makes any sense at all, if you can relate at all ... what do you think the answer is ?
NOTE: NOT suicidal, just being overly passionate atm ........ which I will totally regret later
I never know what to say in response to 'gay' either. I like women, but since I'll be mostly male-bodied in the future...I'm not comfortable saying I'm gay. I worry people will think I'm just some super lesbian who wants to have a man's body to get more girls. But coming out as gay, before trans, was just such a huge part of who I am. It took so much courage and whatnot...I can't toss it away. And it's confusing, because I can't seem to like straight girls much, but if I look male most lesbians won't want me. :(
I just figure I'm further on down the road I'm supposed to be on, but really no closer to where I'm supposed to be.
As to that question, I always say 'sort of...' they take an answer they wish from that. None of their business anyway.
As to how to know where I am going, I spose it's like a ship in uncharted waters, point in a direction and avoid shoals.
As an umbrella term you're gay but most people will prolly assume that you're talking about sexuality if you were to tell them that. So you could tell them that you're androsexual/gynosexual which ever applies to you, tho they might look at you funny but thats prolly gonna happen if you tell them you're androgynous.
"I like women" seemed to work, but somehow people always follow it with "So you're a lesbian then?" I like gynosexual, but few people would know what it meant.
I had a dream where I asked if someone's child was 'he' or 'she' because I couldn't tell, and the parent turned to the kid and said 'he or she?' If only the world really worked that way.
I bet unless you say no, people will think 'so that means you're not straight, right?' which is basically what they really want to know. If you're not straight then you're that other stuff thats all clumped together under gay.
Well I guess a question like that would bother me especially from someone who doesn't even have the patience to wait for an answer, because what business of theirs is my sexuality anyway?
I really like Pica's way of answering that!
Found a way to resolve the op bitch. Thanks for listening.
When Asked I say "I mostly prefer Women/Girls" or if I'm in the mood I'll try to explain the 5 different genders (cis M&F trans M&F and others) ans say I'm open to all except cis males.
Espo,
I love your pic - Does it involve Eliza Duskhu?
I know people will say it doesn't matter but are you MTA or FTA?
I previously (before HRT) considered myself pansexual, however lately I have been feeling a bit more BI - which is weird because I think gender is fluid?
Either way if you are confident it doesn't really matter. I am a MTA Crane Tech and I work as a contractor, which has no sort of equal work rights. Yet although I treat work as role playing, I find a release in not telling lies about myself. In any situation you should not have to do that. You can choose not to say anything but lying isn't good hey. I include nail polish in any discussion about veganism and I am like F yeah (whilst sparkle sparkling.)
I believe in being yourself because the odds are that you will be able to impact someone else that is struggling to be more open.
Love
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I love your pic - Does it involve Eliza Duskhu?
No
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I know people will say it doesn't matter but are you MTA or FTA?
Outside I'm a little of this and a little of that. Inside I'm a mixed bag of dried up giblets. I identify as andro just like someone who is fully one sex or the other can identify as andro.
QuoteEither way if you are confident it doesn't really matter.
I suppose thats the problem, I'm not confident... about anything.