I need some help.
Really, everyone in my life now knows I'm transgender, and it's been great. the only people in my life who don't know are my grandparents who I live with.
I already educated them all about trans people, and they seemed really cool with it, they were very sympathetic to people "born like that."
And so I know they will accept me. I have nothing to worry about.
So why can't I tell them?
I want to tell them so badly. I know what I'm going to say, but I can't get the damn words to come out of my mouth! And them I feel so mad at myself. I want them to know so badly.
How can i help make myself do it? Any ideas?
I'm desperate.
I think coming out in your situation is sort of like jumping off a cliff into some water. You know it's probably safe, and that you won't die, but instinct tells you that it's not a good thing to do. You know that after you do it, you'll be happy you did, you you still don't want to. Get yourself really hyped, and go talk to them. Or write them a letter. Or whatever. Just keep in mind that what your doing is good, and that afterwords, you'll most likely have less stress and what have you.
I think Bradd put it pretty well. I felt the exact same way about telling my mom, and I knew for a fact she'd be okay with it. Still took me almost a year to tell her, though. I wish I could give you some good advice but all I did in my case was sob and panic about it until my friend finally (thankfully) forced it out of my last New Year's Eve.
do you have a friend or someone that could be there with you? I know that made it a hell of a lot easier for me.
Yeah, I got my sister who's coming in two weeks. And she would totally be there for me.
But I just feel pressure from all angles to tell them right now. I actually wish I could tell them right now. and save when my sister comes to tell them that I'm looking into hormones.
I apologise for posting here, but as a Mod I can see all sections.
John, I'm probably the same age as your grandparents, I'm mid 50's. They love you. You already know that. If you present as you do in your avatar they already know that you have gender issues. I'd probably guess it has been a long time since they suggested wearing a dress? Parents and second parents love their children with a hope that they will live their lives in a full filling way. We try to shelter our children form the mistakes we have made. No matter how futile that is.
I realise from this forum that there is intense bigotry in some areas of the USA, I'm Australian, but if there is a single way you can demonstrate that you are the man you are, accept it.
I'm a woman so I approached things differently when I came out. You're a man so be male. This is a bit of a cross gender thingy because I'm not sure what young guys do, beyond getting drunk, fighting and vomiting. Sorry.
I would take your GrandParents, who have raised you? to dinner at the best restaurant you can afford. I would dress as a modern young man at a restaurant, even if it is a suit you can rent. Look like the young man you are. Be confident (no matter how you feel) . Be yourself. Be honest and they will accept you. Tell them honestly how you feel and how you are built and how you want to make those changes. Men present stuff pretty bluntly. Present.
Give up hiding. The day you give up hiding is the first day of your life.
When I came out. I told everyone they could ask any question. But I may not answer them.
The questions have been few.
The love has been overwhelming.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: Logan Erik on December 05, 2011, 09:21:19 AM
Try and force yourself into a corner if you have to.
^I did this.
Basically, at some point in the day I told my mother that I needed to talk to her about something important later on. She accepted that and didn't ask any questions, but later on came to me and asked what I wanted to talk about.
It actually made it easier for me for several reasons, one being that
she came to
me and asked what was going on, which opened the floor for any sort of conversation without previous discussion or related topics. Another was that once I told her, I felt like most of the pressure was taken off of me. For some reason, when the decision to turn back and stay quiet was no longer in my hands, it made it easier to accept the upcoming conversation.
I like Logan's idea for writing a note and Cindy's idea for dinner - wish I had thought of those.
Cindy I'm pretty sure everyone can see this section.
And John I'm not sure how you should come out to them, but when you do you should try to emphasize how happy it makes you to be who you are. If they see your happiness they'll probably be more willing to understand.