for whatever reason, i feel this need to hang on to all my old girly clothes.
in grade 9 and 10, i wore boys clothes. in grade 11,12 and beyond i wore girls clothes. and then this year i switched back to boys clothes.
the thing is, i felt the need to hang onto my boys clothes when i switched to girl's, and now i feel the need to hang onto my girls clothes since switching back to boys. this confuses me and makes me doubt myself. i just want to know who i am :(
Clothes have nothing to do with who you are. Obviously, you still like your feminine clothes, and want to keep them. No one likes giving away clothes, I don't think. Wear whatever you want. It doesn't change who you identify as.
An MtF view?
I gave all, ALL to the gardeners and made them happy after I went full time.
In fact the only male pair of jeans and shoes gave me major GID when I HAD to wear the stuff for ID purposes.
Today, post-op, it is a lot less of an issue - so what if I get Mr-ed, just too bad.
We all different as you can see, there is no one thing that fits all :-)
Axélle
You do not need to dissociate from femininity to be FTM; you just need to feel like you were supposed to be male.
The fact that you are holding on to clothing that is typically gendered as female may just be a means of holding on to part of who you feel that you are - or it could be a number of other things.
Just ask yourself: Do I really feel like I should have been born male?
If you are sure that answer is next, a more appropriate question to ask would be: "So, am I a male that may enjoy some more 'feminine' things?" or "Is the reason I'm holding onto these clothes, even though I don't really want to wear them any longer, because they reflect my memories with another person or experience I had?"
Things like that may help you find the answers you need instead of panicking the moment you don't fit the "male" gender role.
>_< That's just silliness.
I sold a pair of really nice classy women's boots on ebay a couple of weeks ago - thought
I had to get rid of them as they marked a very girly period in my life.
Now, I want them back and really regret selling them...they were too narrow for my feet and
had a slight heel, but nevertheless, they reminded me of a good time in my life, so that's why I
probably want to hang on to them - now they're gone!
"Memories, light the corners of my mind,
Misty watercolour memories of the way we were..."
Yeah, well... what more can I say :-)
Axélle
I wouldn't think too much about it. I have my prom dress hanging ing my closet and half of the shirts I kept were very obviously made for women (think LOW V-necks). I keep them because I do like them, and they remind of a good time in my life. I still wear pants that are apparently typically female, though with fashion trends it is hard to say sometimes.
I guess I don't feel like I need to seperate from my past to identify as male. Some people do feel the need to do that. It all depends on who you are. I'd say if you want to keep the clothes, keep them. If it makes you feel better, I still wear my pants, boots and jackets that are "womens" clothing.
hm i have no idea why u want to keep hold of them either gender to either clothes......i compleatly trown most of my girls clothes away and never felt much happyer......keep the ones u feel comfortable in and play about on which u like more if u hate it or dont like it get rid of it or try and get rid of one boy and one girl thing and see how u feel then
I know what you mean, OP.. I never voluntarily wore girl clothes, I hated it when I had to, and I've chosen boy clothes for literally my whole life.. But I still find it difficult to donate my old girl clothing.
I think it doesn't have anything to do with your identity, just the fact that like Bradd said, no one likes to give away clothes lol.
I can relate a bit. I had a sweater that I absolutely loved, and knew I'd never be able to wear again until I got surgery (which is a lifetime away, at least from where I'm standing). I held onto it for about a year and a half, couldn't throw it out, couldn't even donate it. So I cut it up, and made it into a had. Confession? I cried the entire time I did it, but I'm so glad I did.
If you can find some way to keep it, reuse it, hell even just cut a little swatch out of them and make a scrapbook or something, that might help. I hate throwing away anything that's ever been part of my life, I've still got notes my friends passed to me from 5th grade.