The first person Ive ever told was a friend of mine who I thought had something against transgendered people, but I told her because she was just so chill. I thought she had something against us because we are such bitches to everyone, we make fun of everything and everyone. I was sexiled from my college dorm and I just felt the need to tell her so I called her up.
I was so afraid that I might lose her, but in the end, she thought it was pretty cool. We suspect that a mutual friend of ours might have a transsexual fetish so we're going to test that out LOL. I'll just wear lacy tights (supplied by my female friend) underneath my jeans and tease him with it a little... hehe. Either that or he's gay, I don't know lols.
Who was the first person you ever told? Where were you? Was it face to face? Through the phone? How old were you? How did that person take it?
My therapist. I wrote a letter during my session and gave it to her before I left, that was like 2 months ago. She was fine with it, which is good because there's way too many conservatives here.
It was someone on the internet. For the many years in between, we've been friends. That feels pretty nice. We went through transition together... well at the same time. I moved into her home and rented a room. It was pretty nice to have someone going through the same sorts of issues to talk to on a regular basis. I owe her a lot.
Cindi
The first person I told was my mother.. We always had a great relationship, one that has simply gotten better since I told her..
I never planned for her to be the first person I told, but one day she could see I had something on my mind and badgered me until I just blurted it out..
The first person i told was my wife. I wasn't really trying to tell her! I was never going to because I was afraid I would lose her, plus I wasn't sure i was transexual! she was very homophobic and if she couldnt understand them , how would she ever understand me? I thought. I had just seen a show on TV about transexual people, It hit me in the right place and i had to tell her about the show. I got really emotional sharing thses peoples stories, when I was done she stood up from the couch and said" OMG! you are one of them!" I agreed! she blew it of as me just being stupid. Five months later I confronted her again and explained. She accepts me!
An older gay man I knew. He said, "You would be an absolutely beautiful girl and you should go for it".
He forgot to ask for sex at that time, but did it all the wrong ways...and he could have easily turned me back into a boy. He said now, "I missed the fact that you and I never had sex when you were a top. But I also feel this is the right path for you...even if I am giving up sex with one of the hottest little boys I've ever seen."
You guys.
The first person I talked to whom I actually knew was a friend I've known since we were 3. She messaged me on facebook asking why it was referring to me with male pronouns. (I was smart enough to set it to not displaying my gender but not enough to think about pronouns. ::)) I did a brief "I feel more like a guy" sorta thing, and it was fine. I did a more in depth coming out to her (about transitioning and things) just a few weeks ago through email, and she sent back lots of love and support. It's too bad she's on the opposite side of the world for a year. :(
When I was 23, I told my best woman friend - she was not exactly discouraging, but very cautious about it, and it made me backpedal and decided I was dealing with internalised homophobia instead (well, I was too).
This time round, my therapist at the time. Then, everyone :).
I first came out to my ex-boyfriend when I was 15. He thought it was a passing thing and it was rarely brought up, if ever. Then I stayed closeted for another 5 years and came out to another ex-boyfriend who reacted terribly. That time I decided to break up with him because I needed to be who I am even though it took me a year and a half after our break up to get my physical/legal transition really rolling!
The first person I told was one of my sisters in person. I was 19. She was always very supportive.
My sis when I was 21. She was completely supportive, but I refused to talk about it with her again and eventually she gave up trying. She was really relieved when I finally started transitioning last year.
I told a friend the same time I told myself. I came home from a conference knowing something was wrong. As I described how I'd felt there, and started to state what was bothering me I ended up crying. My friend was amazing, told me it was ok to be confused and would be ok if I was a boy. I remember being so mad at myself for not knowing. My friend was the one who reminded me that gender isn't always obvious and I'm still young (21 at the time). A few weeks of research later and I'm at my GP telling them I want to transition.
Now, not even nine months later I'm on T, legally male on my DL and passport, surgery scheduled for Jan 4th and with that will be able to finish updating my identity documents (birth certificate & social security). I've been open with everyone since that first friend, and have even worked with him on building H.A.V.E.N., a program to reduce homo-/bi-/trans- phobia in the college environment. I'm finally me, a transmale gynandromorph, and its good to be me
I honestly don't remember who the first person I told was. One of two close friends, I think, and they've probably forgotten by now; it doesn't exactly come up in casual conversation. It started with just hinting that I didn't really identify as a girl, but not as a boy either. With most people I'm out to, that's the limit of what I've told.
I had been in group therapy and my therapist was really nice and supportive of the other members. I had ropped out of the therapy group and when I figured out I needed to transition I felt safe with her so I just dropped in on her and told her what I had been thinking. She was very supportive and it was the best decision I ever made.
Huggs
Emily
First person was my wife. THAT was scary. And is. Although probably less scary than admitting to cross-dressing earlier (again, she was the first person, although at that point, she was my fiancee). I wonder if it helped that when I shared, I wasn't sure yet (and still am not completely, though it seems to fit).
First person I ever told that I thought I should have been a girl was my grandmother and I was 5 at the time. First person I told that I was transitioning was my dad. Between all that, all my immediate family knew I had gender issues since childhood. I wish I had taken my grandmother's advice and finished college and transitioned immediately after, but back then, the resources really weren't accessible to me to do so.
My x wife then a male friend I grew up with who was actually the first person to see me enfem :-)
My husband. Well, actually, it was more of him prodding it out of me. I have known for years but never had the guts to say it. He has known for years and finally got tired of seeing me struggle with it, so he took a chance and said "You don't have to pretend anymore." It was incredibly liberating. I am glad he was the first, because he has been so supportive. And our relationship is much more healthy now.
The first person I told was a female friend who is very laid back & open minded, she was very supportive & within weeks i'd told most people I knew & only a couple of people gave me any problems.
My friend has been a huge support, i've spent many hours on the phone with her & she's been fantastic, if it wasnt for her then I doubt i'd have stayed sane
The first person I told (and apart from this forum, the only one for now) was my best friend. It felt really liberating telling someone at all.
It felt traumatizing for me.
My Mom forced me out of the transition closet. She found hormones and breast forms. She was in shock for a few months. Like she did with her Mom, I never came out of the homo closet to my Mom.
Well I just recently told my two best friends, one I live with and the other is my oldest friend from childhood. They both seemed rather unsurprised they said they always sort of saw me as one of the girls anyway and they expected that something along these lines would happen eventually. My oldest friend in particular said she had always noticed how I never fit in very well with Gay men and that she thought something else was up. She also brought up stuff from our childhood that I had forgotten like how when I was 5 or 6 I got in trouble with my mom for getting into her makeup and jewelry one time and wasn't allowed to play for the rest of the day because of it and how when we were in elementary school and would play pretend games I always wanted to be the girl even when I was playing with other girls and how once I practically begged her to play the boy part in our pretend game so I could be the girl. It kind of brought home just how deep this thing has ran for all these years. They are the only two people I have told so far though and they are very supportive but it's my family that I'm really worried about. My mother in particular is going to be devastated.
The first person I told was my friend Carl. Although I didn't officially say I was Transgender, I just told him I always felt like I male. He actually could relate and he said he had always felt the same, but opposite. He had researched surgery and everything so telling him was reassuring. But the 1st person I actually officially came out as Trans to was actually 2 people--my brother and sister-in-law, both of which were/are wicked supportive and my brother actually helped me research the names of the doctors that I got from my therapist which was cool.
The first person I told was my mum. I wasn't sure she would understand but I knew that she would be accepting. It was a relief to be out to her, she's been my greatest ally. Even if she hadn't been supportive I would have still transitioned but I wouldn't be as far along as I am now, I think I would have held off for a while.
The first person I ever told was my girlfriend. She didn't really know how to take it but we are still together (I told her about 3 years ago now) so that's good. I've been super selective of who I've come out to so far. Only a few other friends know and so far the support has been pretty good.
Wow, I'm actually not that selective. two months after I told the first person, 14 people know about it already. I wonder if that's a bad thing... Most people either accept it right away, or dont believe me because I tend to joke around a lot... lols
Quote from: Keri Allison on December 14, 2011, 08:58:01 PM
Wow, I'm actually not that selective. two months after I told the first person, 14 people know about it already. I wonder if that's a bad thing... Most people either accept it right away, or dont believe me because I tend to joke around a lot... lols
To each their own. It's not a bad thing if you start telling more people as long as you're doing because YOU want to. I'm just a little (ok, super) afraid to really let myself out there at once.
Quote from: Keri Allison on December 14, 2011, 08:58:01 PM
Wow, I'm actually not that selective. two months after I told the first person, 14 people know about it already. I wonder if that's a bad thing... Most people either accept it right away, or dont believe me because I tend to joke around a lot... lols
After I came out wanting to transition both socially and medically, I was out to over 100 people in about 2 weeks. I was out as genderqueer but still presenting as female and going by feminine pronouns, so coming out wasn't particularly hard other than the first 5 people or so I came out to. Each definitely to their own, it ain't a bad thing if that's what you wanna do! :)
QuoteWow, I'm actually not that selective. two months after I told the first person, 14 people know about it already. I wonder if that's a bad thing... Most people either accept it right away, or dont believe me because I tend to joke around a lot... lols
I'm going to agree with the others, and I can't fault the number of people you've told since I was even less selective. Less than one month after that conversation with a friend I participated as a Drag King in Acting Out, our campus GSM group's major event. In front of over 70 people I was asked why I should win the contest. I told them I shouldn't everyone else created a persona for this event, I was just being myself. From that day on I mandated those around me use male names with the exception of the family reunion that summer which was a failed attempt to play female to placate others.
Now I've run educational events on trans issues, presented anti-trans bias training I helped develop for audience ranging from 5-50 people and will be presenting a workshop on non-binary sex/gender for a regional conference if February.
When I decided to out myself I did it loud and made sure that I was comfortable with others knowing. It was weird the first two or three times someone approached me about it without me telling them, but I quickly grew used to it.
I think coming out is a unique process, and there is no right or wrong way. Mine worked for me, if you don't mind 14 people knowing, go for. Hell if you want 40 people to know I'm sure not going to stop you! ;)
The first person i mentioned anything to was a friend i met online and it was only that i thought it would be great to have been born with both. After a few years and figuring out who I am, I told my best friend who was transphobic at the time that i wanted to be on hormones, he was horrified but eventually he became ok with it and is prolly now my biggest supporter. Ive since come out to my close friends and plan on coming out to everyone after i start HRT which should be real soon.
The first person I told was my little brother. We had always been close even seperated by five years. He used to trade me his cars and super chuck norris action figure (geeky but hey) for the dolls and my lil ponies my rents insisted on giving me lol. He took it well, totally accepted it and we are still really close. He keeps trying to get me to be his wingman so he can pick up chicks. lol I love my bro!
First person I told was my little sister :)
We are very close... and well... she has been around for me doing and considering a lot more crazier things than just taking female hormones to change my body and mind :P
Her reaction was basically "that makes sense, you have always been better at being a girl than me" lol
Firstly told to my first-girlfriend-in-life. We're best friends, she's also works with TG topic at university. :D I tried to watch the ground or ceiling, as much as embarassed I was... It was something like this:
- Erm...
- Yes?
- Well... Erm...
- Mm?
- D'you remember what you asked when we first made love?
- Of course. *blushing* B-but how this came into your mind?
- Erm... you asked that what gender role we had. We declared that none of us was a man or a woman.
- That's totally normal, I think!
- Yeah... you know, I felt neutral. It was just... damn good. Nothing binary, because-they-said-so stuff...
- Yeah...
- I've been thinking about my gender since then.
- But you were with her... X?
- Erm... Complicated. I've never felt that I'm a woman.
- Neither I felt you were - are a woman.
- Thanks.
*blushing, blushing, blushing*
I wanna come back to her. :'(
My mom.
Joelene
My sister, when I was seven. I then made her promise never to tell my mom...
And that's what I will regret for the rest of my life.
Just got done telling my mom. Aside from a drunken slip last night, she's the first "conversation". I want to tell everyone now... but that's probably a terrible idea ^-^
My mom when I was about fourteen. All she told me was, "Not now." She left for work and that was that. Back into the closet for a decade.
Partner was the first, then didn't tell anyone for years. First person after that was a professor I trusted, and that was when I was ready to come out to all.
My best friend Keith, he kinda almost guessed it.
He knew something was up, and kept asking questions but couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Then one day I just told him and he said everything just made more sense now.
He's basically the reason I've gotten where I'm at today.
Couldn't thank him enough.
I told my best friend at the time. She was also my brother's girlfriend at the time (I introduced them). After I told her, she told me about a few transmen she had known while living in Chicago. Then I had her tell my brother for me. It's been five years since then and I'm just now coming out to everyone else and beginning to transition.
Quote from: Vincent E.S. on December 18, 2011, 04:03:31 PM
I told my best friend at the time. She was also my brother's girlfriend at the time (I introduced them). After I told her, she told me about a few transmen she had known while living in Chicago. Then I had her tell my brother for me. It's been five years since then and I'm just now coming out to everyone else and beginning to transition.
Everyone has to go at their own pace, no worries. Even though I told a couple of people 2 years ago I was nowhere near ready to be completely out and start transitioning. Now I am and it feels great :)
I first came out to my sister this summer. I was very frustrated and got drunk and at some point started crying and couldn't stop. My sister heard me and came in my room and kept asking me what was wrong until I told her. She wasn't very surprised.
My esthetician...when she was waxing me, she asked why. I told her "I feel like I'm a girl inside...and cannot stand body hair on me."
She was cool about it.
You people. First I ever talked about it was on here. The only person I've really told is my close friend, almost girlfriend type thing. She's super accepting. She kind of figured it out from seeing my Tumblr posts, then we briefly discussed it on a few occasions and now it's just a normal thing with us.
QuoteWho was the first person you ever told?
A friend of mine.
One of my best friends. 2.5 yrs ago. Face to face (albeit, we were drinking at her at the time BF's cabin), she said "You're my butchy-chook" so, she saw me as a butch at the time -_-
She is great with it now, drove me to my therapist appointment, have had many talks about transition effects, and she now buys me male things :)
And I haven't been all that selective, either. All my friends know now, as well as my mother, and many people at work (my name change has helped with that). So far, so good. Friends accept me, mom is trudging along, dealing with her own grieving experience. And the people at work that know, are ok with it too :) Just one that I have to straighten out. Apparently, he told one of my co-workers that corrected him on my name, that he refuses to call me Kyle. I'll sort that out right fast, let me tell you.