I just noticed in the nicker of time that this was going to be my 7000 post.
I decided to say something that I have often felt, that we often feel, we do use but sometimes too infrequently.
This is a support site.
Often we come here seeking support for our shattered lives, our loss of a loved one, our rejection by family and friends. Some come to seek thoughts of why they should continue to live in a horror that is only understood by us and our ilk.
I was one of them. Ready to finally end it, I'd tried before but I had reached a point where there was nothing to live for. I had phoned LifeLine, I had talked to family members who tried to understand, who accepted me but couldn't really understand.
"How can you throw away your career so you can 'dress like a woman at work'. Those kindly meant words were the knife that slashed my soul. They were not meant rudely, but define the chasm we look over.
Somehow I found here. I joined. I expected to be greeted by the usual array of porn.
Instead I was met by Janet (an ex-Admin for those who haven't had the chance to fall in love with her) she said welcome, you are family. And I was.
I started to meet friends. I will not list you all, happily there are too many to list but Goddess you know who you are, blessings to all of you. I made friendships forged in mutual despair. They will never break.
I have had the incredible opportunity to meet some of my friends in real life. I talk to many on the phone and by email, facebook, and chat lines. I can honestly say that all of my best friends I have met at Susan's.
At times when the horror got too much I have posted, tears falling and the knife ready; next to my computer.
My friends have been instant in supporting me.
I have had the privileged opportunity to do the same for my friends here and members here who I did not know. I will never willingly fail any of you.
I have gone from being a frightened little lump of scared and scarred humanity into being a woman who is enjoying her life in the world. I am not out full time but that day is coming. It is not fear holding me back, it is not rejection holding me back. Many know my circumstance and I will leave it there.
I have made mistakes, well I'm human. I've made terrible mistakes, well I'm a fool; I've paid for them, I deserved to.
But I have loved and do love being among you.
What I was trying to say but failing totally was, Thank you, thanks to all of you. You have been my support and my lifeline.
Hugs My Friends.
Cindy James
We love you Sis :) Thank you for being there
Hugs
- Virginia
You one great gal Cindy. Thanks for your well wishes and your strip-down honesty.
Bless you too,
Axélle
And thanks to you also, Cindy..
I know that scared, scarred feeling you mentioned.. You met me when I was just the same.. And you gave me some advice and some guidance that have helped me blossom in to the mostly happy and confident woman I now am.. :icon_hug:
Thank you too Cndy. We do our best to help each other and you always go out of your way to offer advice and most times a shoulder to cry on. I know. You helped me a few times when life was just too much to bear. I will always be there for you and know in my heart that you will be there for me. Sometimes we're all we have.
Hugs always
Beth
Cindy, Thank You right back! For always having kind words of wisdom and support. For being the voice of reason and acceptance. And for sharing all your wonderful stories with us. :icon_flower: :icon_bunch: :)
Jennifer