I'll start off by saying that as a child, as a boy, my facial features weren't as overgrown and haggard as they are now, and overall I found myself to be very cute at the time (especially looking back on it), but overally, I looked slightly goofier in the face than most of the boys my age; I had a tinge of an autistic look (a wrinkled, "elastic" type face, wide-set eyes, wide nose, and awkward smile - I even had a redish-brown, puffy hair type that occurs most often in autism) but overall, I looked fairly "me" and my personality was very shy, but very loud when I laughed, and very creative in a no-boundries way - I played with baby dolls, pink kitchen playsets, action figures (mostly female action figures, though I loved everything about the cartoon Batman series and it's action figures), stuffed animals (mainly stuffed fish) and plastic turtles. I wrote multiple childrens stories by the time I was in 3rd grade.
Thus, as I was pretty cute, no other child ever told me I didn't "seem right" doing anything I naturally loved to do. Even at the time, I was cute to the point my parents (who were extremely conservative and quite religious) even thought it was "cute" that I played with baby dolls as much as I did anything else.
However, starting puberty, I got extremely hairy, pimply, and haggard-featured, and all the sudden, people (including my parents, who came down on me hard) said "you look too much like a man to be dressing that way/acting that way/doing those things". Just because of my looks, I suddenly went from being a girlie, creative kid that both everyone and my family loved, to being someone who suddenly was supposed to be by all ways masculine acting. Even my parents thought it was "Ok" that other girlie-looking or cute guys my own age acted their own girlie way, but it wasn't ok for the masculine boy to be any different from what he looked like. It was weird, it was a contradiction. I've read dozens of studies and surveys proving that parents treat their children all sorts of different (usually abusive) ways if their children are fat, ugly, or on one extreme side of any gender appearance, and I fit that bill.
Now, since going through so much extreme bullying in school, and abuse from my parents (equalling years of complete isolation) I was forced to become super intelligent, mainly because I immersed myself in the intellectual and creative world for years and years. Looking at me, you wouldn't guess - I have a goofy, rounded, clown nose, a barbarian forehead, and weak but masculine chin, dark stuble, a wide-set "jack black" type face, and a horrendously goofy, gummy smile. Except, I scored one of the highest ACT scores of my entire graduating class, and I'm a classical composer, pianist, xylophonist, vocalist, screenwriter, author, actor, graphic designer, web designer, cinematographer, choreographer, artist, and I own my own websites, forums, and businesses, and just now, I'm learning to play the violin and submitting my resume to become a substitute teacher. Not exactly what you'd expect from a haggard, goofy looking young man with rounded features, a puff-ball hairtype living in a dirtbag location.
So, beyond my gender identity (which naturally requires for my face to have softer, symmetrical, cuter, more intellectual features) it's always been my goal to surgically alter my facial features to match what my own personality has morphed into - I'm quite sure that if I'd have been a sharp, cute, intellectual looking guy growing up, someone who everyone thought to be cute, smart, and feminine just by looking at him, that I'd probably have slacked off A LOT in school, probably being much less intelligent - but you can't reverse time, nor appearance, so my only option for feeling "me" in my face is to get surgery to change my facial symmetry and character to something that's more feminine and intellectual - and studies worldwide prove that the public's overall perception of a symmetrical face is "intelligent, attractive, and modern", while a goofy, ugly face (especially a masculine face) is proven to harbor the "goofy, manly, nerdy" reception. I get that second reception ALL the time from people, and I just want people to automatically see me for who I am with no fuss - even if I try to look smart in my clothing style, people always say "you look too manly/goofy to be wearing that, it doesn't fit with your face." It hurts me so fricken much.
Here's my current side profile, and what I "want" my face to look like is on the right:
http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee437/RPlace123/Morph.jpg (http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee437/RPlace123/Morph.jpg)
http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee437/RPlace123/fem-1.png (http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee437/RPlace123/fem-1.png)
I feel like it's so obvious, after explaining and opening up about my personality like this, that the picture on the right looks so much more "me". The goofy looking, rounded-featured, redneck-looking boy on the left doesn't even look like he'd use proper grammar! On the left, I look so stupid, on the right, my face totally changes my character and in that morph, I actually look like a classical composer, writer, or actor - it even changes the entire characteristic I give off when wearing a suit that day!
I understand how you're feeling.
I really hope that, eventually, we can see past the binary standards of acceptability. Few of us, born male, can seriously hope to achieve, even reasonable expectations. Most of us have permanently lost the oppertunities to normalise and mature into the world as ourselves. Almost all of us know of the anxiety and frustration of having to play a part. And none of us will ever function normally, reproducing children.
I've seen enormous shifts in public attitudes. I know many others have. Many recall the days when homosexuality was either, 'f****ng poofs', or 'wow, lezzies'.
As this continues things can only get better. We can expect to feel comfortable and accepted however we choose to appear.
I am really sorry about your frustrations. I know many here, both Gfemales and Gmales, share those with you.