I'm guessing its a sign of passing more when more kids start asking if you're a boy or girl. I also get way more funny looksfrom adults now than I did a month ago.
What are some of your signs of passing more??
For me, signs of "passing" include not getting funny looks or awkward questions. Just being referred to as "he" and other masculine pronouns/terms without hesitation or second thought.
Congrats on your increased passing, Wesley. I know that feels excellent. :)
I tend to measure it based on how often I'm called he vs she.
Quote from: Wesley_33 on December 15, 2011, 06:03:27 PM
I'm guessing its a sign of passing more when more kids start asking if you're a boy or girl. I also get way more funny looksfrom adults now than I did a month ago.
What are some of your signs of passing more??
i had that before as well. people would scrutinize me trying to find out what to call me as. i pass all the time now, but becoming androgynous is usually the first part of transition in terms of passing. if you took it slow like i did, that will happen. i pass really well, but i had some paranoia at first when going out as female thinking that people will know i'm a guy using the women's room. i was completely wrong though. it's just the internalized guilt that society ingrains in us that playing with gender is a bad thing. i found out being realistic on what i see in the mirror goes a long way with that. we're our own worst critics. today, i got called beautiful by a woman. she told my mom "your daughter is beautiful." i was so happy. that was the first time in my life anyone ever said that to me, and i felt like i managed to achieve beyond what i was originally hoping for.
Its funny cause two months ago I was he or sir all the time till I opened my mouth. Now I get the funny looks and kids asking. Either way I don't see any difference in me but I see me all the time. I just know once the voice drops I'll be fine.
For me, being asked or getting strange looks would be pretty dysphoria inducing, but if you hardly ever passed before, I could imagine this being progress - and in that case, I'm happy for you.
:]
I used to be asked if I was a boy or girl years before taking T, so this definitely would not be a sign of passing for me though.
I just laugh at the kids really. I feel bad for the guys who get all dyshoric over things like this. I've also been asked for years just seems like more this last month than ever. Like I said I passed till I talked than yeah stupid voice gave me away. I even had my T doc ask if I already had top surgery. I took that as a very huge sign of passing.
I've been asked by children before too.
My family doctor, when notified of my name change said that male and female MCP numbers are different. I was all like "I haven't changed my gender yet......"
Also, missus updating my social insurance number looked at my new birth certificate and said to me "they have you on here as female?...." me: "....yes"
So when all sorts of people get confused as to "what" u are or surprised you are not biologically target sex, you are passing. :laugh:
I have a bad habit of not understanding where my eyes are supposed to be. When I look too long at somebody (or their kids) and they get angry or act intimidated, then I know I'm passing.
Among other things. I don't go around staring at everybody all the time. :laugh:
Pre-T I worked in retail and would gauge my passing ability by how the customers referred to me. Some days it was a solid "he", others it was a hesitant "she" and three times I was asked by children. I must have "passed" about 60% of the time based on that.
I figure since most kids will just ask. So once the asking starts you much be at the spot right before you pass all time right. The kids have noticed there is something going on just not sure what it is. So once they stop asking and going with right pronouns thats total pass.
My gauge for how well I was passing was when the straight girls stopped hitting on me and the cute gay boys started :D
Kaelais -
I'm pretty sure what "gender" chooses to hit on you has very little to do with passing as male.
Just saying.
<<
Men started talking to me more. Just general small talk. Gay guys and straight girls are hitting on me instead of lesbians. I get called "mate" a lot more now (im Aussie). I haven't had anyone call me "she" even after I speak :) people also seem more casual around me.
Well, I actually think it has something to do with it. I am pre T and I have just had top surgery (last week) but even before that I passed decently well once I got the mannerisms down. I perceived myself as a gay male, thefore more gay males got that "vibe" from me and expressed interest. I look like I'm about 20 to 22 and I have chosen to not take T due to a liver problem I have so I don't get that little extra help that T can give. I think a lot of transguys start to pass better once they feel more comfortable and understand how their bodies moves, and just how much a masculine way of standing can do for you.
Children have started to discuss with eachother if I'm boy or girl for years now.
And it actually always ends up in them saying I'm a boy, 'because of my shoes'. So yes, wear male shoes and you will pass as male for children. I do anyway. ;) (the kid really ended the discussion with saying like, "No look, it's a boy, he's got boy shoes")
Hah, I once had these two rather young children shout to eachother because the girl was so sure I was a girl and the boy was so sure I was a boy. I was cycling past and I could still hear them while I was well on my way down the street.. "No it's a boy!""No it's a girl!""Nooo, it's a boy!" ;D
I don't know, I feel like I pass when nobody looks up if I'm using the toilet and if I'm 'sir'd while buying stuff.
Like Nygeel, it's usually how often they call me 'he' vs 'she.' But there are sometimes other things, like if they call me 'dear' (it's only done to women where I am).
Signs of passing to me are being called he/sir/him/etc. I'm stealth at my school with the exception of a few former classmates who are good friends so they keep it to themselves, and my adviser. No one has acted suspicious so I take that as the ultimate form of passing.
"Thank you, young man," whenever I hold the door for somebody ;]
I was passing pretty consistently before I started T (no idea how), but a bigger indicator for me was when I started passing on the phone.
A slightly more peculiar one: people started getting scared of me! They're quick to go out of their way to avoid me when I walk down the street at night with my hood up (it's December and my ears get cold!) or tend to avoid sitting next to me on the train. I don't think I look particularly thuggish but I guess there's a bit of a stigma surrounding teenage boys these days. Maybe I should get a pair of dalmatian earmuffs to make myself less terrifying. :D
haha people seem more scared of me when I'm passing too. It's really weird, I shouldn't be considered a threat by any stretch of the imagination yet old ladies will cross the street to avoid me. I love that people refuse to sit next to me on public transport though, I like the extra space ;D
I get told it's my hair, I feel I pass more with bleached hair, but it tends to make me look like a eminem wannabe, and ergo somebody who looks like they might rob old ladies on the bus ::)
Got a call from FedLoan a few days ago, and they asked if *Insert hideous girl name* was there when I answered. I couldn't even correct them, and I knew they wouldn't believe me. I've had the bank hang up on me while trying to get my balance 'cause that name just doesn't add up with my voice.
That's always made me incredibly happy, even if its inconvenient. I'm just glad I've at least got this voice. When everthing else fails, and it does far too often, at least my damn voice can cause some serious confusion, if not convince them fully.