Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Pica Pica on December 17, 2011, 12:45:21 PM

Title: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Pica Pica on December 17, 2011, 12:45:21 PM
One of the things I am missing at the moment, is the notion we used to have on this subforum of an androgyne 'group'. There was a time when members would ask questions; 'Are androgynes....?  Do androgynes like...? What is androgyne....like?' and everyone would answer for themselves. Doing so there was a feeling of an androgyne identity.

Recently, this had become rather unfashionable, and I can be castigated as a 'fascist' because I would insist that an androgyne feels that they are neither wholly male or female. Now, if androgyne is a gender, there has be something about it that separates it from the other genders or the notion is nonsense.

So, I have compiled a list of the ten things I think being an androgyne means, not just what an androgyne is, but what traits or tendencies an androgyne exhibits. This is not a strict ticklist or entry requirements, I don't fit all these qualities fully myself. The very notion of summing a gender up is a little absurd, no woman would fit a list of 'What it means to be a female', nor a male would for a male list but a list like this does tell us that there is a notion of maleness and femaleness that exists, and I wish to suggest a notion of androgyness.

If you have a list of your own, or if you wish to discuss these, let's hear it.


The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne

1) Feels neither wholly male nor female.

2) Often feels a little out of the loop, but at the same time can connect into many kinds of conversations, but often at an odd angle.

3) Is quick to joke/ make an amusing comment, often sees the funny side of things.

4) Often plays, whether with words as an writer, paint as an artist, as a designer,a musician  or with legos.

5) Usually has an 'extracurricular' project or hobby that they are more then usually devoted to.

6) Unless they are a null-gendered type of andro, the male bodied ones tend to find feminine elements more rewarding and the female bodied get more out of masculine elements.

7) Tends towards stable relationships to quick flings.

8 ) Lives in a state of 'functioning chaos', is often seen to be disordered.

9) Likes to look at problems from many different angles before acting but acts decisively when the moment comes.

10) Tends towards compassion over justice, understanding over condemnation.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: ngkhmynh on December 17, 2011, 02:00:12 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on December 17, 2011, 12:45:21 PM
The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne

1) Feels neither wholly male nor female.

2) Often feels a little out of the loop, but at the same time can connect into many kinds of conversations, but often at an odd angle.

3) Is quick to joke/ make an amusing comment, often sees the funny side of things.

4) Often plays, whether with words as an writer, paint as an artist, as a designer,a musician  or with legos.

5) Usually has an 'extracurricular' project or hobby that they are more then usually devoted to.

6) Unless they are a null-gendered type of andro, the male bodied ones tend to find feminine elements more rewarding and the female bodied get more out of masculine elements.

Tends towards stable relationships to quick flings.

8) Lives in a state of 'functioning chaos', is often seen to be disordered.

Likes to look at problems from many different angles before acting but acts decisively when the moment comes.

Tends towards compassion over justice, understanding over condemnation.

Do you think there is a proportion of male and female that an androgyne feels?
For example, I feel mostly as a man. There is a small female part in me that manifests in my behavior and feelings about my sex characteristics. However, I will feel bothered if someone calls me a female because my male side is stronger. This really gives me a headache. ;D
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Pica Pica on December 17, 2011, 05:23:44 PM
Well, mine was the freer definition of 'wholly', because it allows those who feel neither and both also.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: EmmaM on December 17, 2011, 10:28:56 PM
I like that list. Here's a miniature stab at it.

1) Doesn't necessarily acknowledge their androgyny.

2) Feels a bit (or maybe a ton) of contempt for the binary.

3) Can function in a situation when addressed as male, female, neither, or either. Usually prefers one, though.

4) Thinks a box is something to take things out of, not put things into.

5) Enjoys the game of trying to define things, understands the exercise's ultimate futility.

Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: ngkhmynh on December 17, 2011, 11:53:54 PM
Quote from: EmmaM on December 17, 2011, 10:28:56 PM
I like that list. Here's a miniature stab at it.

1) Doesn't necessarily acknowledge their androgyny.

2) Feels a bit (or maybe a ton) of contempt for the binary.

3) Can function in a situation when addressed as male, female, neither, or either. Usually prefers one, though.

4) Thinks a box is something to take things out of, not put things into.

5) Enjoys the game of trying to define things, understands the exercise's ultimate futility.

Your list seems good.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Sevan on December 18, 2011, 12:30:04 AM
A) Is horrible at lists and prefers thought clouds and...erm...storms.

*hem*  :P
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: tekla on December 18, 2011, 01:52:43 AM
The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne

1.  More wardrobe choices and you can take cast-offs from all your friends not just the boys or the girls.
2.  Ability to see things from more standpoints, more viewpoints, and (if you let it) a bit more empathy.
3.  Fewer (or far more confused) expectations put on you by other people.
4.  Better sense of humor.
5.  It's almost miraculous in it's ability to confuse people.
6.  Seeing chaos as a lot less chaotic.
7.  Talking with people of the female persuasion about fashion and people while shopping.
8.  Talking with people of the male persuasion about sports and drinking while working (or talking about sports and work while drinking).
9.  When I dance I can lead or follow.
10. No dues.  No therapy, no medicine, no nothing.  It's just is.  You either live it, or live with it.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Pica Pica on December 18, 2011, 03:31:37 AM
Quote from: tekla on December 18, 2011, 01:52:43 AM
10. No dues.  No therapy, no medicine, no nothing.  It's just is.  You either live it, or live with it.

Well, that's life in itself to me.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: espo on December 18, 2011, 02:50:04 PM
I teeter.  A lot.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: foosnark on December 19, 2011, 09:45:50 AM
It depends on the kind of chaos, I think.  Sometimes I want to know what the hell is going on, especially if I'm expected to do something.  Sometimes I don't get how some peokple can be so disorganized.  But often I'm comfortable with ambiguity and indeterminacy and abstract, ineffable things.

Better chaos than an excess of bureaucracy though... and rigid thinking is the worst.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Mx.Fox on December 19, 2011, 08:10:20 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on December 17, 2011, 12:45:21 PM
1) Feels neither wholly male nor female.

2) Often feels a little out of the loop, but at the same time can connect into many kinds of conversations, but often at an odd angle.

3) Is quick to joke/ make an amusing comment, often sees the funny side of things.

4) Often plays, whether with words as an writer, paint as an artist, as a designer,a musician  or with legos.

5) Usually has an 'extracurricular' project or hobby that they are more then usually devoted to.

6) Unless they are a null-gendered type of andro, the male bodied ones tend to find feminine elements more rewarding and the female bodied get more out of masculine elements.

7) Tends towards stable relationships to quick flings.

8 ) Lives in a state of 'functioning chaos', is often seen to be disordered.

9) Likes to look at problems from many different angles before acting but acts decisively when the moment comes.

10) Tends towards compassion over justice, understanding over condemnation.

I really think this describes me pretty well. Thanks for making this list, I think it helps to show our differences with other genders.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: ngkhmynh on December 19, 2011, 09:30:33 PM
Quote from: Mx.Fox on December 19, 2011, 08:10:20 PM
I really think this describes me pretty well. Thanks for making this list, I think it helps to show our differences with other genders.

The list is good except that #10 is quite ambiguous. There are good and bad people everywhere, aren't there? I don't think androgynes or any LGBT person is more compassionate or evil than "normal" people.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Pica Pica on December 20, 2011, 05:42:16 AM
But the intention is that in the case of compassion over justice - neither is an evil option, they are both reasonable and usual reactions to people doing wrong things.

What I am suggesting is that if an androgyne were a judge they would be less likely to give out the longest term prison sentences, or if they were in a debate, they would be more likely to argue against the death penalty for even serious crime. That the are more inclined to see criminality as something to be understood and healed then something to be punished.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: Jaimey on December 20, 2011, 11:33:52 PM
I like these lists.  ...and clouds and, oo! shiny!
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: smooth on December 21, 2011, 10:48:11 AM
pica pica you're list is pretty bang on me thinks. I can relate.... except sometimes. Has anyone seen my Lego ;D
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: espo on December 21, 2011, 05:38:07 PM
A good question to ask someone if you want to know them a little deeper is which is more important to them, justice or mercy.  Not that one is better then the other because we need both.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: EmmaM on December 21, 2011, 07:14:31 PM
Depends upon the offense. I prefer correction and mercy. The word justice in almost every context in which it is used makes my skin crawl.

Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: tekla on December 21, 2011, 07:45:34 PM
Actually I'm only an androgyne because of the enhanced social status and swell prizes.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: ngkhmynh on December 21, 2011, 08:09:39 PM
Basically, the person has to feel a bit of each gender to be an androgyne, correct?
I have a strange desire that I will talk about it later if I am asked. That desires comes from the fact that there is a bit of female in me.

However, I will be offended if someone says to me "you are a woman". I will be fine if he/she says "you have a bit of woman in you".

Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: foosnark on December 22, 2011, 08:44:49 AM
I wouldn't say the person *has to* feel a bit of both genders.  Other nonbinary types might consider themselves androgyne, regardless of the word's etymology.  One may be equally male and female if the values are zero.

I'm not offended whichever term people use for me, unless they are trying actively to be offensive and they're someone whose opinion matters to me.  but it still feels pretty weird when my wife uses female terms for me.  I feel llike she doesn't really get it, which I can't blame her for since I can't really explain it.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: espo on December 22, 2011, 01:25:50 PM
Quote from: Lone Cypress on December 21, 2011, 07:14:31 PM
Depends upon the offense. I prefer correction and mercy. The word justice in almost every context in which it is used makes my skin crawl.

It can't depend, or you will be judging which in the hands of the wrong people can open the doors to far skin-crawly situations.
I think you are more inclined to seek mercy... thats admirable.
Title: Re: The Top Ten Things It Means To Be An Androgyne
Post by: EmmaM on December 22, 2011, 04:44:59 PM
Quote from: espo on December 22, 2011, 01:25:50 PM
It can't depend, or you will be judging which in the hands of the wrong people can open the doors to far skin-crawly situations.
I think you are more inclined to seek mercy... thats admirable.

One person's justice is another's state sponsored revenge. Republic hurt my brain, to simplify I will say I don't believe such a thing as justice can ever exist, not for all involved. There is not even a good definition for the concept, which itself is a mess.

Makes me so tired, thinking about it.

Thank you for calling a confused soul admirable :)