a friend of mine (read ex) has been trying to talk to her doctor about wanting to transition, or at least getting therapy , but the doctor keep seeming to ignore her, does anyone have any tips or advice or anything that might help?
What I told my GP. Who has known me for many years.
I've always identified as female and it is time for me to get the help I need. Can you write me a letter of recommendation to XXX XXXXX. He is the psychiatrist that looks after TG people.
The reply. Sure thing I'll just look up his address. There you go. Are you going the whole way with surgery?
I see my GP regularly for ongoing health issues. He is a deeply religious man who is a total professional and a very caring Doctor and a fine friend.
Cindy
I was even more direct than Cindy was.. I went and saw my GP and said, 'I want you to write me a referral to Dr. XXXXX.' My GP asked, 'For what reason?' I replied, 'Gender issues.' And he wrote it on the spot..
It's a fact of life that some GPs are better than others.
I realise this might not seem entirely connected. I don't mean to hijack your topic, hopefully it might contribute something to the discussion.
I've had depression for most of my life. It has eased, somewhat, since I was 40. But getting any support has been a nightmare.
Its nature is/was that I try various coping strategies, but when it becomes acute I have ask for some help.
In my early 30s, I went to see a Dr with whom I had previously gotten on quite well. He had always been really friendly and shown a genuine interest. He had a reputation in the area, a very rural community, for being friendly, easy going and knowledgeable.
Anyway, he started treating me with a particular medicine which eventually had a significantly beneficial effect. For those who've ever had depression, they will know what I mean.
After a few months, he made a suggestion to me, which I knew, from previous experience, wouldn't work for me.
He immediately went to check my case notes. After at least 15 minutes, he returned with an entirely changed personality. It was quite weird. He looked the same of course, but sounded and acted like a completely different person. He virtually (in that he strongly hinted) asked me to leave.
I still don't know what that was all about. His manner made it clear that there would be no discussion.
Now as I said, deepest apologies if this seems like an irrelevant hijacking of your thread. I just don't think we can necessarily assume that there is any right or wrong way to approach these people. If they reject you, as this one seems to have done to your friend, then it might be wisest to find a different strategy.
I really wish I could make suggestions. Sadly I'm sure you will appreciate, it's so much more complicated than that. What I do know is, these people's objective is their own egos. They hate failure simply because it reflects badly upon them, in their eyes.
They will reject anything they see as being problematic simply because they fear the consequences of failure to their self esteem.
Sadly, your friend's rejection will now be a matter of record. It is unlikely another GP will take the matter up, because to do so will not just be taking a chance of this issue, it might equally offend the current GP.
I will caution you about seeking black market hormones, but it is cases like these where we can understand why some might think about it. The term, Black Market, in this instance, give a whole new light to black markets in general. We generally assume that people go to the black market to indulge illegal activities. In the case of your friend, she is simply trying to manage her own life. But the down side is the lack of quality control, not to mention the need for continual monitoring, especially of your kidney function. Killing your kidnesy is not a good idea, as I'm sure you will appreciate.
As I said, you need to look at alternatives. Not be single minded here.
The medical approach seems to be shut. Baring something quite major, that door seems to be shut.
You should know that there are numerous others in our situation. Not just transgender, but other conditions which make adjustment difficult. I suggest that, most get knocked back by GPs. The success stories we see here, for example, are the tip of the iceberg, compared to the vast majority who are pushed away.
I long ago realised that a lot of medicine is a bit like those adverts for the lottery. If you believe them all you do is buy a tcket and become rich. (And strangely very happy!!). The reality, in that instance as well as this, as we all know, is very different.
I so wish I could be more helpful.
The reality is that doctors feel like they are gods, and if they want every man in their office to stay a man, they'll make sure it happens. You have to find a different doctor, but before you do, threaten your current doctor with a lawsuit for improper care if he doesn't give a refund. Doctors are indeed supposed to provide information and potential cures to whatever ailments a patient has, GP's are the ones who make referrals. There's no sense in a doctor taking $200 from anyone just to give no answers, it's theft.
My GP kept changing the subject, and putting me off, and pointing out that binding is unhealthy, etc, until I confronted him very directly. Then he told me that he felt like he was in over his head and asked if it would be okay to refer me to one of his more experienced colleagues.
After seeing said colleague twice, I'm on hormones and listed in the system as Felix. I've been upfront about being trans for a long time, and my doctor has met people like me before, so I didn't have to jump a whole lot of hoops to start transitioning medically.
Everybody's different, and doctors are just people.
ffern.
If you think you can swing it, Felix's advice seems quite sound.
Good luck love.
i know from experience how much effort it can be to get them to listen about depression, (especially when your so anxious that your mind is totally blank and you dont know what to say) so i see where your tangent was going spacial, i did advise her to try and see a different doctor ( luckily we dont have to pay to see people here, yay nhs) as that helped me find someone who actally listened.
the asking to be reffered to someone specific is a good idea, i didnt think of that. ive yet to talk to my doctor about that too, (was/am going to probably at the same time as she does), is there an easy way to find out who that person is for a specific area, or is that good old google/asking around work ?
Quote from: ffern on December 25, 2011, 06:26:56 PM
i know from experience how much effort it can be to get them to listen about depression, (especially when your so anxious that your mind is totally blank and you dont know what to say) so i see where your tangent was going spacial, i did advise her to try and see a different doctor ( luckily we dont have to pay to see people here, yay nhs) as that helped me find someone who actally listened.
the asking to be reffered to someone specific is a good idea, i didnt think of that. ive yet to talk to my doctor about that too, (was/am going to probably at the same time as she does), is there an easy way to find out who that person is for a specific area, or is that good old google/asking around work ?
I had a really hard time finding anything (specific, current, and attainable) on the internet, and I didn't have a lot of luck asking around directly with medical providers and clinics because I didn't know where to begin. I ended up getting the best information by asking around with local trans people, and my doctor actually referred me to the physician I would have requested to see (based on that info) if he hadn't beaten me to it.