Let me get this straight. I hate my chest, constantly wish I had a male body. I know there no real true "girl things". But I had a moment where I decided okay, let's watch all my childhood animes, (example, Kim Possible) this confused me, as I realized if I like "girl things" so much, then why not just stay a girl. I put myself in a girl's role in my daydreams (more often I'm the guy too, though). But then I realized I don't think I can live with my chest the way it is right now for much longer :S Argh my heads spinning right now. I like baggy sweaters and would rather wear baggy jeans and a cool guy's jacket (I don't think I need to try cross dressing to figure that one out). I want a guy voice and such. I. AM confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :S :S
Suicide is often on my mind. That scares me too, I'm trying to remember when I started having those feelings
I know a lot of guys who love Kim Possible, that doesn't mean they should be girls. :) Just curious (since you made a thread recently about buying guy clothes for the first time), do you have a binder or have you ever bound? It might keep the chest dysphoria at ease while you figure out what works best for you.
No I never bound because I am scared it may hurt, I always planned on getting top surgery right away anyways.
EDIT: But I guess that plan sorta failed.. :S
There are a lot more femme FTMs out there.
Actually, even cismales have a spectrum from the crogmagnon brute that ranges from the flamboyant fop - and then there's everything else in between.
Everything has a gray area, whether people want to believe it or not.
Even if you happen to be straight, it's not uncommon these days for straight men to play a more "nontraditional" role in a relationship.
Basically, don't panic if you find things out about yourself that don't fit the typical male gender role to a key, because there's a lot of cismales who won't either.
:]
I just don't want to order a binder (I don't even know how) and then find that I don't need it. I know I'll never know unless I try though. But still I feel like "what will I do with the binder if I feel I don't need it afterwards"
I was worried about that with my first binder as well. And actually, at first I didn't wear it. I was slim, and my chest was quite small, so it felt like a lot of compression for little pay off. But as my chest got bigger, I started using it more.
Another option is tight sports bras, which worked for me for a bit. I think I've heard some guys say this thing called the "frog bra" from walmart is good for binding too. It's OK to take baby steps if you're uncertain. I started off with clothes, then underwear, tighter sports bras, binder, packer, and all that was just over the course of two years (age 18-20). I did all that before I even came out and sought therapy/hormones. You may be like me, even if something is right for you, change is something that is intimidating.
I don't understand how things you enjoy have any sort of bearing on your gender. Either you <3 your boobs or not. Doesn't mean your taste in cartoons has to change.
No offense, but what does it matter what you do with a binder if you don't use it? Chuck it in the trash or give it away. I'm just a bit confused as you first said you didn't want to bind because it might hurt. Look, you're going to have to take a step and try things, Cody, or you'll never know.
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on December 27, 2011, 03:44:12 AMI'm just a bit confused as you first said you didn't want to bind because it might hurt. Look, you're going to have to take a step and try things, Cody, or you'll never know.
Agreed. No one binds because it feels awesome. They bind because it looks better and reduces the godawful bouncing.
As for what to do with it-- throw it away. frame it and hang it on the wall. mail it to someone else who will use it. cut it into squares and use it for TP. Also, if you can find this forum, sign up and post, you can google "FTM Binder" and order one.
Like everyone already said, binding doesn't hurt if you do it right. And top surgery can be a complicated process even after you begin seriously looking into it, so I wouldn't count on it happening fast. If you hate your chest, you should definitely try binding. The first time I tried binding I experience a huge feeling of mental relief. My level of discomfort when seeing myself in the mirror when down drastically. So try it and see how it works.
Quote from: Harbor on December 27, 2011, 04:11:10 AM
And top surgery can be a complicated process even after you begin seriously looking into it, so I wouldn't count on it happening fast.
Complicated?? How's that exactly?
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on December 27, 2011, 03:44:12 AM
No offense, but what does it matter what you do with a binder if you don't use it? Chuck it in the trash or give it away. I'm just a bit confused as you first said you didn't want to bind because it might hurt. Look, you're going to have to take a step and try things, Cody, or you'll never know.
I guess I meant I was worried one of my family members might find it before I get rid of it.
QuoteComplicated?? How's that exactly?
choosing a surgeon+paying for it+arranging travel and time off of work/school
It doesn't happen overnight is what I'm trying to say.
As far as family members seeing the binder, at the most they will probably think it is a sports bra. Mine has velcro on it which isn't typical of bras at all but my dad still thought it was just a bra. Trust me, your parents finding a binder is nothing as dreadful as them finding something like a packer. A severed dick is a lot harder to explain, lol.
deal confused one.
first of all one of my best friend LOVED kim posible, he even wanted to change his name to Ron and the the same pet.
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second; liking girl or boy thing dosent mean your a girl or a boy.
theres alot of girls who are boyish, alot of boys who are girlish.
alot of girly girls who like certain boyish things, ex video games.
and alot of maculine guys there might enjoy some things who are seam as girly..
personally I like girly things, I also like some boyish things but it dosent matter because its not what deside my gender, gender isnt about gender steryotype as the world make for you, but about what youself feel about those.
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If I were you - and I'll probably get a lot of ->-bleeped-<- for this - I'd just try binding with
anything for a while, as in half an hour or so, just to be able to see a flat chest in the mirror, and clothes hanging properly and stuff. I know that binding long term with dangerous materials such as Ace bandages/tape etc is a very bad idea, but just once or twice for a very short amount of time to see if the investment of getting a proper, much less damaging and much comfier binder is a good idea. As for proper binders hurting, I found that binding fixed my severe back ache from playing rugby.
If you can get a short binder (for example something like <a href= "http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=124&osCsid=6e7b3bbdc3f63839d84f3ba0f14fff25">this</a>) it would easily be passed off as a sports bra by anyone not paying too much attention, and even in my family they don't nose through my clothes
that much. Most clothes machine washing powder can also be used for handwashing clothes in a sink as well, so you can wash your binder by hand (probably a lot better for it) so they aren't going to see it in the laundry.
TV programmes at you watch don't denote who you are. And by the sounds of your chest dysphoria you are trans just unsure of it, and possibly a little scared. Take things slow, little things like a haircut (doesn't have to be nessessarily male, just short and play around with it), clothes, experimenting with binding, packing etc.
As others have said, they either look like bras or undershirts. My mom has seen mine countless times and I'm pretty sure she has no idea what it is. You could always say that you wanted to take up running/jogging and that it'a a shirt with a built in "bra" to keep your chest still. Not even cisgirls like their chest bouncing up and down as they run, I imagine.
Quote from: Harbor on December 27, 2011, 02:03:45 PM
choosing a surgeon+paying for it+arranging travel and time off of work/school
It doesn't happen overnight is what I'm trying to say.
Ooook
Quote from: Cody Jensen on December 26, 2011, 11:44:27 PMI just don't want to order a binder (I don't even know how) and then find that I don't need it. I know I'll never know unless I try though. But still I feel like "what will I do with the binder if I feel I don't need it afterwards"
Just my personal advice... don't live thinking of possible regret all the time. Instead, see everything in life as an experience. Wearing a binder is an experience all on it's own, whether you decide that you love and want to wear it all the time, or whether you cross it off your list as an option, it was still a valuable experience. It's experience that we can use to base better future decision off of. So have as much experience as you can.
A lot of great replies and advice. I'm headed to the store tomorrow for sure to pick out my very first guy clothes. Then I am looking at getting my hair cut short, and also as others have mentioned, binding. :D
@Logan, hey man, me too, me too :)