My therapist has given me homework which is : to ask people who have transitioned to rate their life from 0 to 10 with 0 being the lowest and most sad and 10 being happy and content as one could be.
Take into account Relationships, job prospects, family / friends accepting you.
Thanks in advance
Right now I'm a 7. Once I complete ffs and srs, I'm sure it'll go up.
I don't think transition itself will make anyone happy in "life". It will hopefully get rid of your dysphoria and clear your mind, after all that's what's driving you to transition in the first place? Relationships, job prospects, family / friends accepting you, how these things turn out is kinda out of your hands and will be different for everybody. Realistically you need to expect a few changes in these areas and they wont necessarily be good ones.
I think the word transition means different things to different people. Just getting rid of the GD and confusion is transition enough for some and there's not a list of must do's before you can achieve this. It's easy to get swept along with the whole transition process, certainly in the company of like minded people.
3 maybe 4... better than the 0 I had before tho. Problem is I have two dreams that I need to complete to be fufilled one of them was to be female. The other was a career in sciences. all my fighting and struggle has only gotten me one thus far *sigh*
And morover than that I'm still alone and my life is devoid of romance and love. :(
I'm sure things will look up when I have HRT and surgeries, but I'd say a 6. Which is the same as before. Most of my family doesn't accept me, but even when I was a 'straight girl' they had problems with me. Coming out just changed the excuse. I am happier as I am more honest with myself, but I am unhappier because that honesty comes with a price, the price of my true self being scrutinized and judged by many people I encounter - at least when I was in the closet, he was safe.
Job prospects are likely better but I haven't attempted to get a full-time job with my degree yet due to grad school sucking up my time. So I don't know. But I have received TAships at the university and if I wanted, I could make extra cash marking, or helping others with their research, which I couldn't do before.
Relationships - lost mine. I can't say for certain if it would have happened if I wasn't trans. My transition initially put a lot of stress/fears on me, I became insecure. As a result, I often ran away from my love, we fought. She tried to support me but eventually she needed the space from my darkness and she left. But those insecurities likely would have existed even if I wasn't trans, so trying to sort out those issues is important to me.
I am now a 5. 3 years ago when I just begun it was an UPHEAVAL and a BIG 0. I lost my job in a very humiliating manner, my family, my friends, fell into street prostitution, frawled all sorts of dangers as being killed by other jealous prostitute trans with knife on the streets, beaten by 'clients' who thought I was a girl, humiliated in public and made a mockery several times but that was in the BEGINNING. A little months after I got a decent job higher that even any bio woman could have and be accepted, then slowly by slowly I climbed up leaving my bull->-bleeped-<- cruel home country to seek for Asylum in Europe. Now my life is more quiet but I am still not over with transition, I'm only half way, loads of stuffs to do...In the beginning I hell regretted and said I RUINED MYSELF AND MY ENTIRE LIFE But by the end, I REGRET NOTHING, I'M SO HAPPY NOW!
This girl on Youtube helped me a lot and inspired me
What good is a great life if youre not living it ! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VAb2rnC0jQ#)
a 6 until FFS in Feb. then better.
Kia Ora Beni,
::) I would have to say 10, Happy & Content...Because I've also learnt not to take life too seriously, I now surf the waves of life and should I fall off the board I no longer get dragged down/carried away by the rip, I just go with it's flow and enjoy it ! :icon_yes:
::) But as the saying goes YMMV, some post transitioners are no doubt still learning to surf...And sadly there are those who will never master the technique of standing up right or for that matter navigating the rip when they fall off...
Metta Zenda :)
9....I have it good in that I get lots of attention, have a ton of friends, etc
But realistically...probably a 5...since I am unhappy in my relationships and I no longer have a creative outlet due to the boyfriend.
In many ways i am a 10.. happy and contented. ;D. but still lonely but thats because i am weird and people don't like weird people that much ::)
Quote from: Amazon D on December 29, 2011, 07:40:08 PM
In many ways i am a 10.. happy and contented. ;D. but still lonely but thats because i am weird and people don't like weird people that much ::)
Kia Ora,
::) Everybody is somebody's weirdo ! So there's still hope Amazon ;) ;D
Metta Zenda :)
10, definitely 10.
Maybe even 10+.
I've recounted in my blogs many of the high points that have happened to me. I kept my job, my family and most of my friends. Life is full of color and joy.
The only real sadness I have is that I feel that I am the rare exception. It should not be this way. This should not be such a stigma. Everyone should have the joy that I have received.
-Sandy
Nine. I'm not a ten yet, because there are some things I want to do (SRS, etc), however I would consider myself pretty darned happy in day-to-day life overall. This is from being a 2-4 or so.
I'd say transition brought me from about 3 to about 7.
Thanks for the feedback and found it interesting.
My therapist asked me to think of people who had transitioned and I thought of 4.
He then asked me to rate them, without giving any suggestions of the relationships, acceptance or job prospects, he gave me those suggestions after I had answered; just what I saw and from what they had told me.
I found it extremely difficult, so just gave them all an 8 or 9. It can be very hard to rate someone else, you can't be sure if they have been truthful with you and there is so many things to factor in. Some don't want to divulge anything from their past. As smooth said, most people just getting rid of the GD and confusion is enough for some. Everyone thinks different, it is easy for some, not so for others.
When I had finished, he said that the average of most people who were asked to rate themselves would be a 7 and if any one who answered a 9 or 10 would be a manic depressant and burst out crying?? Just repeating what he said. He also said that me rating them highly gives him the impression that I think transitioning will make everything 'rosy' .
So I will go back to him with these anonymous answers and discuss it with him, it is also his first time with someone with GD, so I think he is slowly learning.
@ Amazon, you are not weird, just unique. That is what I tell people when they call me it ;)
Hi Beni
Well, what can I say without to be marked as manic depressive.
To explain, I never had problems to start relationships.
I never been rejected (after transition)
I have a good job and I'm happy with my life.
I have friends, so what should I give for a number?
I truly thinking a 10 or at least a 9.
Sure, transition doesn't solve all the problems a person can have, but it's a lot easier to face them when you're happy with the one you are, your true self.
By the way, I never been treated for manic depressions or something, the only thing I had was GID wich is cured.
Before transition, I was miserable and depressed. 2
During transition, I was miserable but hopeful. 4
Immediately after transition, things were looking up. 5
Several years later, I'd say 7.5. I still get depressed from time to time. I've learned to treat it like a cold. It goes away if I focus on something really interesting.
The challenges are much greater for a successful life after transition. Those secrets we carry are a great burden.
But the GID? TOTALLY GONE. I only think about it when I get on this board. Otherwise, it's completely out of my mind. I only participate here to help people like you wondering what to do and where they are going.
Chin up!
Cindi
A 9.
It would be a 10 if my family all had terrific health and if I won the lottery. :) Otherwise, it is awesome.
Finally I am just ME.
Jay
Quote from: Beni76 on December 30, 2011, 06:22:13 AM
When I had finished, he said that the average of most people who were asked to rate themselves would be a 7 and if any one who answered a 9 or 10 would be a manic depressant and burst out crying?? Just repeating what he said. He also said that me rating them highly gives him the impression that I think transitioning will make everything 'rosy' .
Kia Ora Beni,
::) I can see where your therapist is coming from...It is difficult to gauge how a person is really coping post transition...After all one could say anything to make others feel their life is sweet, and he's right about 'some of those' who might rate their life a 10 could be manic depressants, one minute they are on top of the world and things couldn't be better,[that is they have gone through an entire week without being ridiculed or 'clocked'] then all of a sudden it all comes tumbling down, when someone points or laughs at them or called them sir or ma'am...So yes he's right, for some 10 is only on a good week when things are going ok...
::) However my life 'is' sweet because life is what one makes it ! But then that's just how I choose to see [and accept] things...Perception is everything !
::) "Always look on the bright side of life !" Monty Pythons' "Life of Brian" ;) ;D
Metta Zenda :)
Hear, hear.
well spoken.
Always look at the bright side of life.
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ#)
Quote from: annette on December 30, 2011, 04:33:25 PM
Hear, hear.
well spoken.
Always look at the bright side of life.
Kia Ora Annette, [Goededag]
::) I have found that the key to true happiness isn't found in 'things', but in 'realising' how we relate to them !
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Felix on December 30, 2011, 06:54:05 PM
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ#)
Kia Ora Felix,
::) Thanks for the video clip...The moral of the song is "
hang in there" things can only get better ! :D ;D
Metta Zenda :)
I think to be fair you'd have to rate the various aspects of your life before and after, therby looking at all the pros and cons of the outcome of transition. Secondly, transition is ongoing for many if not all, so that will sway the numbers too. To generalize, I guess I'd throw down a 7. Honestly, before I started transitioning, actually made the choice and knew I was going to do it, the scale was just a completely different one than now.
On a scale of 1-10? Um like a 6-7 which is a hell of a lot better then before. :D
Overall, probably a 5 now. Pre-transition it was a 2.
During transition (after coming out, before testosterone) I got so frustrated by not passing at all for several months, and stressed out by my mom having a major depressive episode as a result of me coming out, that it dropped to a definite 0. And it has dropped down to a one even after transitioning, like last April. But even though things still aren't fantastic, I've had way more up days than I've had in years.
In terms of social comfort it's from a 0 to a 4.
Dysphoria, 1 to 8
Mental stability, 2 to 6.
Other stuff is fairly unrelated to transitioning.
If 1o was the best possibility I could imagine before transition then I would have to redefine the scale. My life was improved beyond anything I could imagine.
Not sure how to answer this. Post transition has wildly exceeded my expectations. My life didn't suck before, just some parts of it did. My life is VERY different but like who I am now which is a BIG improvement. My life doesn't suck now but some parts still do. Being a woman introduces it's own problems you wouldn't plan for or understand until you are one. I guess the main thing I can say is: If I had this all to do over would I take this same path? Absolutely and have NO regrets. My only regret is I waited so long to decide to do this.