I'm sorry for sounding sarcastic but I have become more of a lurker on this site because it just seems to be about sexual orientation rather then transition.
I am not transitioning to change my sexual orientation and my sexual orientation is not the driving force behind my transition. I personally don't care what anyone's sexual preference is. I don't see how this is even relevant to transition unless the reason your transitioning is to improve your sex life or to make it more congruent to your current lifestyle.
Sex and sexual preference is bound to come up from time to time in any transgendered forum, I just think it shouldn't be the central topic of a forum unless thats what the forum was meant for. I think a great suggestion is to create another sub forum called "Gay men that want to be woman" I don't mean this in disrespect I am just calling a spade a spade. I also am not calling any MTF's that are attracted to men "men" I would never do that and would hope no one else would.
I will still lurk around this site from time to time but I don't feel the need to post anymore since my inquirers or statements will be not be needed or answered.
P.S I'm also disgusted that people don't have the courtesy to inform another if they don't feel like communicating further. I come to this site for support and to hopfully meet or communicate with someone that may have the same or simular concerns and issues as myself. It seems many of these people aren't what they say they are. I don't feel the need or connection so to speak to PM many people on this forum but I guese the ones I have PM'ed, must of meant something else in their posts!
SEE YA!!!!
It's kind of normal for women to be attracted to men...
It has taken a weird turn all of a sudden! Susans is not what it used to be, there has been alot less topics about transitioning lately and more about being an ex gay man! not all of us where gay before we transistioned! Lots of fights and arguments about what a real transsexual is, etc. etc. lots of immaturity and nonsense! I don't know, but i don't like the direction it's going!
My only complaint is that I'm all out of popcorn.
Wha? This isn't a gay man's forum?... I saw some chiseled jaws, but then I realized there weren't any pecks and quads. LOL
Hey Shelly,
not sure what ticked you off!
There are at times not many "interesting" conversations going on in regards to transitioning, I agree.
I think it is the age, life experience and how far people have come in their transition that set them apart.
You have come very far in your transition, you are a parent(if I am not mistaken) and a lot of people here have not had these experiences due to their young age.
A lot are still trying to figure out if they are gay or trans. They haven't had a time to figure out who they are.
So if you have kids and feel like exchanging some trans-parenting experience hit me up!
Just Shelly,
I can understand your frustrations. The forum lately has been covered in topics relating to attraction to men and a history of life as a gay man, and this may make it seem as though people have forgotten or are ignoring the remaining facets of what it means to be a MTF. However, I do not feel that you are being fair: sexuality is indeed a very important part of gender, regardless of your orientation (even asexuality). It is often a driving factor in how we express ourselves through our gender and feel content or discontent with it.
For many transgendered people, including myself, it is a very important aspect of self to explore, understand, and seek comfort with, because it will have great influence on our lives and our happiness in the future. Some times exploration of these feelings can be performed through deep, philosophical discussion, and some times they can be explored by simply exchanging opinions with another person of what feels attractive or exciting; the latter happens to have dominated the forums as of late, but it is no less an exercise in self-exploration.
Personally, I am attracted to men. Before I had begun my transition I had lurked on these forums from time to time, and one thing I had noticed was a severe lack of discussion between women who are attracted to men. I did read quite a bit of thought and commentary from women who (previously or currently) posed as heterosexual men, but I found it difficult to relate to their discussion despite empathizing with their hurt and their happiness. It was not frustrating for me, I was happy for them, but I did wish that I could discuss the same thing with women in my situation who had a similar sexuality; I have plenty of natal female friends, and I do talk to them about men, but something about discussing my sexuality with a woman of the same gender-weathered background was both appealing and comforting to me.
The recent threads on the forum, regardless of how distracted and off-key they may seem, do help out a lot of women like us. I thus do not think it is fair to single hetero-transwomen out or shuffle them/us into a subforum, as bi-, homo-, or asexual transwomen have just as much right to express their sexuality in the general forum of being male-to-female. It is a very important part of all of us and indeed has a deep impact on our lives, just as it would with any other human being.
Quote from: MyAlias on January 02, 2012, 07:38:47 PM
It has taken a weird turn all of a sudden! Susans is not what it used to be, there has been alot less topics about transitioning lately and more about being an ex gay man! not all of us where gay before we transistioned! Lots of fights and arguments about what a real transsexual is, etc. etc. lots of immaturity and nonsense! I don't know, but i don't like the direction it's going!
I do absolutely agree with not liking where the forum has been going in terms of fighting (and sniping) and immaturity. I feel that a lot of people have been very acidic toward one another lately and this does upset me a bit. I did a lot of reading on Susans before beginning my transition, and one aspect of what helped me tremendously was the care that the community expressed toward itself; I am not so much getting that feeling now.
Note: I know my post count is not very high, and I don't mean to sound as though I'm a veteran here - this is just my view as a tremendous lurker over the years!
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 07:43:09 PM
Wha? This isn't a gay man's forum?... I saw some chiseled jaws, but then I realized there weren't any pecks and quads. LOL
that wasn't very nice!
Masha , you know what! but just incase, THIS! "I saw some chiseled jaws, but then I realized there weren't any pecks and quads"
Well, first of all I am sorry you feel this way. However, if the topics bother you, don't click them. If you want more transition related topics, I don't see what stops you from posting them. I know this sounds harsh and I don't mean it that way, but honestly it's nice sometimes to have topics that don't reiterate the same questions a thousand times. Furthermore, this is just one sub category of the entire forums, thus I'm sure more transition related topics are being posted elsewhere. Your frustrations are justifiable and I understand where you're coming from, just trying to offer some insight from the other side. I'm all about helping people if I can, so if you have issues you want to discuss, by all means post them.
Quote from: MyAlias on January 02, 2012, 08:09:33 PM
Masha , you know what! but just incase, THIS! "I saw some chiseled jaws, but then I realized there weren't any pecks and quads"
Well some transwomen have chiseled jaws. But HRT distributes the fat so they don't have the muscle mass of pecks and quads.
A chiseled jaw can be solved with contouring/bronzing.
oh Masha! ::)
Quote from: Lily on January 02, 2012, 07:41:43 PM
My only complaint is that I'm all out of popcorn.
In all seriousness, this post made me go make some popcorn.
its the extra buttery kind too :D
I have never identified as a 'gay man' nor was I ever active in the gay community , if such a thing exists. There are others of us here.
Yes I once did wonder if I was just gay. Just because of the deep feeling of being 'somehow different'. No one is born reading wikipedia. It takes time to understand what ones different inner feelings might mean , or if any may want to categorize one self in way or another. Now for me it is clear I am not a gay dude.
Are these people who once identified as gay men nonetheless mtf transsexuals?
Quote from: MyAlias on January 02, 2012, 08:13:35 PM
oh Masha! ::)
It is hard to convey humor through typing.
Quote from: mik on January 02, 2012, 08:17:45 PM
Are these people who once identified as gay men nonetheless mtf transsexuals?
Yeah, they are technically mtfs now.
I haven't been in gay culture or had a gay boyfriend for like 3 years. Wait, Dustin(RIP) and Ryan were bi.
Okay...I haven't had a gay boyfriend for like 3 weeks.
I really dont understand the fuss. People will talk about what they wanna talk about. Everyone should be free to do so. People will not always agree, so arguements happen.
If you don't agree with a topic don't read it, I think its childish to get bent out of shape over something on a forum.
Popcorn is gone :(
I was a former gay boy.
Yes, boy.
I was never a man :P
I also am going to echo what Natalie said.
Calm your tits, ladies.
What's the big deal? Read the threads that you want to read and ignore the ones that are so offensive to you. It's not that hard.
Quote from: JoeyD on January 02, 2012, 08:54:11 PM
Popcorn is gone :(
I was a former gay boy.
Yes, boy.
I was never a man :P
Saying man to yourself sounds like the dirtiest word ever. I was never a man either =)
Sounds like more "->-bleeped-<-r than thou" rhetoric. Just because I used to be a gay male, doesn't make me any less "trans" than any of you. Sure, I had a head start with hair, makeup, socialization, and being feminine than many of you. But I feel my personal identity to be more on the "gay male" side because someone on the net once said some bad stuff.
Even though I am past that stuff now...I feel it is part of my identity. I am still trans...
Lol Mahsa, to be honest I find these "im better then you cuz of my sexual orientation" arguments rather annoying *pops another aspirin* anywho I think everyone needs to chill out and relax life is to short to argue over silly little things like sex.
Shelly I understand your frustration, I think both sides (homosexual & heterosexual) have a problem with letting go of who they once were. I used to be a gay male before transition (cringes at the thought of being male) maybe not a super flamboyant one like some here but attracted to men none the less and yet I don't feel the need to bring up my past as a gay male because i've moved on with my old life. I have new memories to talk about, memories of my true self as female and that's all that matters to me now.
Point is living in the past is really just a waste of time. I live in the present and I have to admit my future is looking pretty gosh darn good from here! ;D
Mahsa, honestly you're the only one on this site so far (of course a soon as I said that Asha did LOL) that I've seen identify as a gay male. I'm still new here and not around that much but I don't get the same vibe the OP seems to get.
However you say you are not hung up but I have seen you, Mahsa again, sort of derail some threads into arguments about how having a penis and having sex with your penis doesn't mean you aren't a woman and that sort of turns the whole conversation into a debate about what IS means.
You know what I mean. I don't think anyone should ever give another person advice unless they ask for it. Even if you think you (by this I am speaking in general) think you are helping someone or being "brutally honest" etc, it crosses a line over into "none of your business."
Because the truth is, just as hard as it is to convey humor online, it's hard to convey truth online or really understand where the other person is coming from.
Just that's my humble opinion.
Happy New Year Y'all.
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 07:08:29 PM
I'm sorry for sounding sarcastic but I have become more of a lurker on this site because it just seems to be about sexual orientation rather then transition.
I am not transitioning to change my sexual orientation and my sexual orientation is not the driving force behind my transition. I personally don't care what anyone's sexual preference is. I don't see how this is even relevant to transition unless the reason your transitioning is to improve your sex life or to make it more congruent to your current lifestyle.
Sex and sexual preference is bound to come up from time to time in any transgendered forum, I just think it shouldn't be the central topic of a forum unless thats what the forum was meant for. I think a great suggestion is to create another sub forum called "Gay men that want to be woman" I don't mean this in disrespect I am just calling a spade a spade. I also am not calling any MTF's that are attracted to men "men" I would never do that and would hope no one else would.
I will still lurk around this site from time to time but I don't feel the need to post anymore since my inquirers or statements will be not be needed or answered.
P.S I'm also disgusted that people don't have the courtesy to inform another if they don't feel like communicating further. I come to this site for support and to hopfully meet or communicate with someone that may have the same or simular concerns and issues as myself. It seems many of these people aren't what they say they are. I don't feel the need or connection so to speak to PM many people on this forum but I guese the ones I have PM'ed, must of meant something else in their posts!
SEE YA!!!!
not to sound blunt but if you don't like the ex gay men threads then create your own threads.
No one is forcing you to just lurk. You have the ability to create your own posts.
Quote from: mixie on January 02, 2012, 09:48:07 PM
Mahsa, honestly you're the only one on this site so far (of course a soon as I said that Asha did LOL) that I've seen identify as a gay male. I'm still new here and not around that much but I don't get the same vibe the OP seems to get.
However you say you are not hung up but I have seen you, Mahsa again, sort of derail some threads into arguments about how having a penis and having sex with your penis doesn't mean you aren't a woman and that sort of turns the whole conversation into a debate about what IS means.
You know what I mean. I don't think anyone should ever give another person advice unless they ask for it. Even if you think you (by this I am speaking in general) think you are helping someone or being "brutally honest" etc, it crosses a line over into "none of your business."
Because the truth is, just as hard as it is to convey humor online, it's hard to convey truth online or really understand where the other person is coming from.
Just that's my humble opinion.
Happy New Year Y'all.
I do have sex with my penis...No one knew I did? Viva viagra!
I assumed I was Benita Bizzare and everyone else was the Bugaloos.
I guess I was wrong... Now to watch DIVINE and bask in its fabulousness.
Quote from: jdinatale on January 02, 2012, 08:58:38 PM
What's the big deal? Read the threads that you want to read and ignore the ones that are so offensive to you. It's not that hard.
That's the problem, there's been way too many to ignore!
Quote from: Natalie <3 on January 02, 2012, 08:25:25 PM
I really dont understand the fuss. People will talk about what they wanna talk about. Everyone should be free to do so. People will not always agree, so arguements happen.
If you don't agree with a topic don't read it, I think its childish to get bent out of shape over something on a forum.
I'm not bent out of shape, I think I'm in fairly decent shape!
I never said I disagree, its just the topics lately have been really gay. (no pun intended) I never thought being gay or is not gay hmmm...was a prerequisite to becoming a MTF or is it just a woman.
It would be nice to just talk normal gender or nongender topics. I realize its easy to get off topic, I have lurked a few times on the beauty and woman forums on CL, most of the time the posts are not about "women's issues" or "baeuty" which is fine but posts in some of those forums can get way out bounds at times. You will definitely find out what the meaning of b*** and Cu** are on those forums.
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 09:54:55 PM
That's the problem, there's been way too many to ignore!
I'm not bent out of shape, I think I'm in fairly decent shape!
I never said I disagree, its just the topics lately have been really gay. (no pun intended) I never thought being gay or is not gay hmmm...was a prerequisite to becoming a MTF or is it just a woman.
It would be nice to just talk normal gender or nongender topics. I realize its easy to get off topic, I have lurked a few times on the beauty and woman forums on CL, most of the time the posts are not about "women's issues" or "baeuty" which is fine but posts in some of those forums can get way out bounds at times. You will definitely find out what the meaning of b*** and Cu** are on those forums.
Gay men are socialized around women more. They have more of an excuse for being feminine and can integrate into heterosexual society much easier than a lot of transbians. I intend to have no children or raise a family.
I can't change who I used to be. I still listen to Madonna everyday and I am still the "gay best friend" to several of my GG friends. I am happy that way and many of us here know just because we transition, it won't erase our past as "males". The "men" we used to be are very much part of us still.
Transition is largely about appearances...then socialization. I don't become a fire hazard around straight people... Nor do I act fabulous around my Mother. But I can't deny that is who I once was and I am not ashamed of living as male. In fact, I am the opposite...I am proud. I am proud to have been born male.
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 09:54:55 PM
That's the problem, there's been way too many to ignore!
I'm not bent out of shape, I think I'm in fairly decent shape!
I never said I disagree, its just the topics lately have been really gay. (no pun intended) I never thought being gay or is not gay hmmm...was a prerequisite to becoming a MTF or is it just a woman.
It would be nice to just talk normal gender or nongender topics. I realize its easy to get off topic, I have lurked a few times on the beauty and woman forums on CL, most of the time the posts are not about "women's issues" or "baeuty" which is fine but posts in some of those forums can get way out bounds at times. You will definitely find out what the meaning of b*** and Cu** are on those forums.
How long have you been around? Because it didn't seem like that on here last month? Is it just that you are engaging with threads that discuss these issues. I would think that there is a difference between someone who embraced and enjoyed being a gay male before deciding to transition and those who thought they were gay out of confusion regarding their sexual identity.
Also it is easier to sort of glam it up in the gay community and so that might have served as a respite.
Start and participate in threads that talk about the issues you want to discuss. Even ignore people that maybe trigger this in you and sort of draw you into the conversation.
Lol, I am probably one of the annoying posters that triggered Shelly's tirade with creating a lot of gay-related threads (to give me some credit, I do create a lot of non-gay threads, right? I even gave you guys a "chick" thread to post in. :eusa_snooty:)
Frankly, like I said in another thread, certain people here seems to get all hissy and their feathers ruffled if homosexuality, specifically gay male ones and acknowledging/discussing homosexuality in our current an past lives, is approached in threads. Why then can those same people, in the same breath, turn around and discuss lesbianism in the same breath?
It is so hypocriticial and homophobic that it boggles my mind.
For the OP to complain about the spate of gay-related threads is akin to a white person saying, "Enough with black-related threads already! I want to talk about being me - white!"
:eusa_hand:
interesting discussion my ladies.
im honored to read your posts.
please continue.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi845.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab11%2Fxmandeh%2Ftumblr_li0zq4l4yc1qbgw7r.gif&hash=3d1891fcfdf3517c912be41b6ce038b6cbb6ea7b)
I dont and never considered myself a gay boy. I probably dont pay that much attention. I've been posting here for a bit. I dont think things have changed much. I like fun and what if topics.
I think its good to kinda talk about whats on your mind no matter what it would be? There are alot of different ppl who are mtf. We should all just get along and help eachother along. No matter how you identify. Honestly its just labels =).
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 09:47:28 PM
Lol Mahsa, to be honest I find these "im better then you cuz of my sexual orientation" arguments rather annoying *pops another aspirin* anywho I think everyone needs to chill out and relax life is to short to argue over silly little things like sex.
Shelly I understand your frustration, I think both sides (homosexual & heterosexual) have a problem with letting go of who they once were. I used to be a gay male before transition (cringes at the thought of being male) maybe not a super flamboyant one like some here but attracted to men none the less and yet I don't feel the need to bring up my past as a gay male because i've moved on with my old life. I have new memories to talk about, memories of my true self as female and that's all that matters to me now.
Point is living in the past is really just a waste of time. I live in the present and I have to admit my future is looking pretty gosh darn good from here! ;D
You and I already butted heads last night - With only 37 posts behind you, your credibility is pretty low and where do you get off throwing stones at the older posters here? Not so cool.
And the irony is that all of the letters in your name can be found in Mahsa's name ::)
-1
Whenever someone complains about how they're tired of the whole "gay men" talk on the forums its obviously about Mahsa.
Someone is going to make me pull a Chris Crocker and defend her.
And I won't be nice about it.
There will be thrown chainsaws and razorblades.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:04:10 PM
Frankly, like I said in another thread, certain people here seems to get all hissy and their feathers ruffled if homosexuality, specifically gay male ones and acknowledging/discussing homosexuality in our current an past lives, is approached in threads. Why then can those same people, in the same breath, turn around and discuss lesbianism in the same breath?
It is so hypocriticial and homophobic that it boggles my mind.
Many lez mtfs are considered "gay" by ignorant members of society. If a man is transitioning to become a woman, he must be doin it to get sex from cismen. Not to mention the gay associations with drag and tg performing. I think it is just their way of experiencing what we have our entire lives.. Just because someone is transitioning, doesn't mean they are gonna change. Many heterosexual men who become transwomen aren't gonna be into gay men anymore than they were before. Many heterosexual people do not openly associate with gay people and I think much of this is brought to the table in the transcommunity.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:07:37 PM
And the irony is that all of the letters in your name can be found in Mahsa ::)
Trippy.
I smell aspiration to the level of the disco shark on Asha's part. LOL
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:10:42 PM
Many lez mtfs are considered "gay" by ignorant members of society. If a man is transitioning to become a woman, he must be doin it to get sex from cismen. Not to mention the gay associations with drag and tg performing. I think it is just their way of experiencing what we have our entire lives.. Just because someone is transitioning, doesn't mean they are gonna change. Many heterosexual men who become transwomen aren't gonna be into gay men anymore than they were before. Many heterosexual people do not openly associate with gay people and I think much of this is brought to the table in the transcommunity.
Exactly - this is finally being brought out in the open and we can see the ingrained homophobia mainfesting from some MTF posters who never have been around gay men and only have heard the "->-bleeped-<-got" word being slung around.
Also lesbianism always have had a double standard with hetero men, anyway. Gays, ewww, lesbians, hot - it s no surprise when they become translesbians, they have no problem with it.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:13:28 PM
Exactly - this is finally being brought out in the open and we can see the ingrained homophobia from some MTF posters who never have been around gay men and only have heard the "->-bleeped-<-got" word being slung around.
I find that many of the "butch" mtfs probably would have been the first to throw the term "->-bleeped-<-got" at us in their former lives. I mean my boyfriend admits he's bi on some level..But would never associate with any of my gay or queen friends. He said he doesn't like, "the idea of a man prancing around in a dress"
Now imagine if he transitioned...would anything change? Maybe after he gets the crap beat out of him for being a "f*ggot ->-bleeped-<-". I think some people learn and some people don't. Many of the older mtfs have it really hard after the "testerone damage" and I think throwing the focus on "hey, s
he used to be gay..." takes it off of them.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:07:37 PM
You and I already butted heads last night - With only 37 posts behind you, your credibility is pretty low and where do you get off throwing stones at the older posters here?
And the irony is that all of the letters in your name can be found in Mahsa ::)
-1
I don't have to have alot of posts here to see you and a few others clearly have issues letting go of your past among other things. Seriously dazzler grow up and stop acting like Mahsa it's really not you. ;)
QuoteAnd the irony is that all of the letters in your name can be found in Mahsa ::)
:o Your right! :D
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:18:31 PM
I don't have to have alot of posts here to see you and a few others clearly have issues letting go of your past among other things. Seriously dazzler grow up and stop acting like Mahsa it's really not you. ;)
I think this thread is gonna go on lockdown. :police:
I know MsDazzler and she doesnt' act anything like me... Please don't say she acts like me. She's merely a strong female speaking her mind.
Hey Asha, aren't you obsessed with Lady Gaga or was that another poster? I mean Lady Gaga is pretty damn fabulous. My gay lover(RIP) loved Lady Gaga... Maybe you and him share the same sentiments about fabulous music made for YGM.
Quote from: Zarania on January 02, 2012, 10:05:21 PM
interesting discussion my ladies.
im honored to read your posts.
please continue.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi845.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab11%2Fxmandeh%2Ftumblr_li0zq4l4yc1qbgw7r.gif&hash=3d1891fcfdf3517c912be41b6ce038b6cbb6ea7b)
I see your adorable chubby Asian kid sipping espresso with a pinky finger up and raise you a Thriller era Michael Jackson eating popcorn!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2FtCp90.gif&hash=9a123c0b8a3c3b3dc5ac8ee34bbc27d88dcbeaa4)
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:04:10 PM
Lol, I am probably one of the annoying posters that triggered Shelly's tirade with creating a lot of gay-related threads (to give me some credit, I do create a lot of non-gay threads, right? I even gave you guys a "chick" thread to post in. :eusa_snooty:)
Frankly, like I said in another thread, certain people here seems to get all hissy and their feathers ruffled if homosexuality, specifically gay male ones and acknowledging/discussing homosexuality in our current an past lives, is approached in threads. Why then can those same people, in the same breath, turn around and discuss lesbianism in the same breath?
It is so hypocriticial and homophobic that it boggles my mind.
For the OP to complain about the spate of gay-related threads is akin to a white person saying, "Enough with black-related threads already! I want to talk about being me - white!"
:eusa_hand:
If the the forum was about white supremacy in America, ya damn well I want to talk about white.
Its a MTF forum I don't know where it says its the "how many ways and with who can you whack your knob off "
The problem is I'm not hypocritical I'm way to realistic. I Have always felt I should of been born female and always wanted to correct that but due to circumstances out of my control (no such thing as internet)and the willingness to accept defeat I remained a man. I also realized I was born with a penis, I was a heterosexual man, I inserted my penis in a vagina. Just because I knew who I should of been doesn't make me one.
If I inserted my penis in a mans anus I would be a homosexual man. Ya sure I can say I have always been a straight woman but what straight woman can penetrate a man.
It is so hypocritical and
homophobic rationalized to your benefit it boggles my mind.
Well ive seen a women penetrate a guy (strap on). Which straight couples do use sometimes. I am a straight women. But i've also never used my equipment.
If I inserted my penis in a mans anus I would be a homosexual man. Ya sure I can say I have always been a straight woman but what straight woman can penetrate a man.
[/quote]
What if we are going by prison rules? Sometimes, a girl just gotta nut...
Shelly, no one is forcing u to read them.
You do have the ability of creating the threads u want just as you created this one
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 10:23:38 PM
The problem is I'm not hypocritical I'm way to realistic. I Have always felt I should of been born female and always wanted to correct that but due to circumstances out of my control (no such thing as internet)and the willingness to accept defeat I remained a man. I also realized I was born with a penis, I was a heterosexual man, I inserted my penis in a vagina. Just because I knew who I should of been doesn't make me one.
Not to get into spirituality here. But I feel I was born male for a reason and that god didn't "make a mistake". God made me GAY and it was fabulous though... Therefore, why should you be any different than me?
I didn't want to be born gay... It was just how things worked out. You were meant to be trans and there's nothing wrong with it. But if you think you're not riding the SS ->-bleeped-<-...you are, no matter the amount of surgery, frame of mind, etc you get.
So enjoy the ride and leave the passengers dancing to disco to their own mirror and powdering the nose devices.
Quote from: A_Dresden_Doll on January 02, 2012, 10:27:32 PM
If I inserted my penis in a mans anus I would be a homosexual man. Ya sure I can say I have always been a straight woman but what straight woman can penetrate a man.
What if we are going by prison rules? Sometimes, a girl just gotta nut...
omg lol
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:18:31 PM
I don't have to have alot of posts here to see you and a few others clearly have issues letting go of your past among other things. Seriously dazzler grow up and stop acting like Mahsa it's really not you. ;)
lol, if you ve been
here that long enough, you ll see Mahsa and I have different posting styles - we both speak our minds but in different ways.
Oh, right, you don't need to post that much to be all-knowing. ::)
Just Shelly,
It seems to me you are worrying too much about what other people do and trying to put labels on what it means to be X. Don't try to define what it means just BE.
I am a straight cisgendered woman who knows that many women will try to pleasure men in their anus because it is a highly sensitive erogenous zone. So be careful with your boxes before you box yourself into a corner.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:30:11 PM
lol, if you ve been here that long enough, you ll see Mahsa and I have different posting styles - we both speak our minds but in different ways.
Oh, right, you don't need to post that much to be all-knowing. ::)
What is Asha's issue? That we acknowledge our past...that we used to be gay men. The key word is "USED TO". We're not anymore.
I plan to transition and delete my past...that would be awesome. My Mom won't even know who I am. When I am in the house, I want her to call the cops and say, "Someone is tryin on my sons' clothes!"
Wait...back to reality. Thats never gonna happen.
Quote from: Annah on January 02, 2012, 10:28:29 PM
Shelly, no one is forcing u to read them.
You do have the ability of creating the threads u want just as you created this one
Exactly! I noticed that not many people create their own threads here then whine when gay-related threads pop up. Gosh! I also create non-gay related threads which Shelly has seemed to conveniently overlooked and, for the record, has not posted in almost any of them. Hmm, I wonder why?
Why is it that makeup, hair, and fashion threads always seem to flop dead here? Isn't transitioning supposed to be about altering your apperance and having fun while being at it and sharing ideas? Yeaaaa... I am very disappointed in sparse replies to my thread "Beauty Routines 2012"
Must every transitioning thread be about long, painful journeys or whining or how to pass?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:21:14 PM
Hey Asha, aren't you obsessed with Lady Gaga or was that another poster? I mean Lady Gaga is pretty damn fabulous. My gay lover(RIP) loved Lady Gaga... Maybe you and him share the same sentiments about fabulous music made for YGM.
No sorry that most have been someone else, i'm more into techno beats cuz I love to dance! :icon_dance:
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:30:11 PM
lol, if you ve been here that long enough, you ll see Mahsa and I have different posting styles - we both speak our minds but in different ways.
Whatever you say hun. :laugh:
QuoteOh, right, you don't need to post that much to be all-knowing. ::)
::)
Quote from: mixie on January 02, 2012, 10:31:09 PM
Just Shelly,
It seems to me you are worrying too much about what other people do and trying to put labels on what it means to be X. Don't try to define what it means just BE.
I am a straight cisgendered woman who knows that many women will try to pleasure men in their anus because it is a highly sensitive erogenous zone. So be careful with your boxes before you box yourself into a corner.
+1 to this
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:34:28 PM
Why is it that makeup, hair, and fashion threads always seem to flop dead here? Isn't transitioning supposed to be about altering your apperance and having fun while being at it and sharing ideas? Yeaaaa... I am very disappointed in sparse replies to my thread "Beauty Routines 2012"
People are too busy pontificating on their identities to get anything done. If you don't look good(on some level) you won't feel good...and you're gonna fester on why you don't.
I posted several makeup threads her... and got told, "I know women who don't wear makeup" or other lame excuses for not wearing makeup. Makeup is essentially for transitioning...
Truth is, a lot of people don't want to be associated with "drags", even though the irony is that no amount of anything will change that association unless you started hormones early and many people did not.
But I would also say that those who don't do...can't.
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:35:47 PM
No sorry that most have been someone else, i'm more into techno beats cuz I love to dance! :icon_dance:
Wha? I am too narcissistic to care. Must have been my gay boy side proppin up again. LOL
Quote from: Annah on January 02, 2012, 10:28:29 PM
Shelly, no one is forcing u to read them.
You do have the ability of creating the threads u want just as you created this one
I've tried, no one is really interested in any topics I bring up. I'm sorry sex isn't a priority topic with me.
Talking about how children of TS cope, yes this is!!How to find freinds or even a partner female/male your choice. Just everyday normal talk about concerns and issues trans or non trans.
I find it astonishing that so many here with children seem to not consider them in there transition. I have seen some people post 50-100 times and I never knew they had children. I'm not saying this has to be the main topic if you have children but I would think it would come up from time to time. This post and others like it are not priority to me.
Yes I don't have to read them but thats all there is. I have been here awhile, many that were here when I started are gone. Why is this? ???
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:41:32 PM
Wha? I am too narcissistic to care. Must have been my gay boy side proppin up again. LOL
Then why did you ask me? ::) Must be! :laugh:
Quote from: Natalie <3 on January 02, 2012, 10:26:49 PM
Well ive seen a women penetrate a guy (strap on). Which straight couples do use sometimes.
true,and I don't find this homosexual!
Quote from: A_Dresden_Doll on January 02, 2012, 10:27:32 PM
If I inserted my penis in a mans anus I would be a homosexual man. Ya sure I can say I have always been a straight woman but what straight woman can penetrate a man.
What if we are going by prison rules? Sometimes, a girl just gotta nut...
wow , just wow! what a thread!
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:21:14 PM
I think this thread is gonna go on lockdown. :police:
I hope not! this thread is very entertaining!
all i here is this song playing while I read this!
Foster The People - Don't Stop (Color On The Walls) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlAgHt92lqE#)
As has been said previously, if you don't like the topic, don't read it. Quite simple really, and if anyone wants to start a post it really can be on any topic. People will read it and comment as they wish.
Let's all remember to treat each other with respect and good manners, even if we vehemently disagree.
Karen.
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:44:12 PM
Then why did you ask me? ::) Must be! :laugh:
Oh... You said something to me?
Sorry, was too busy listenin to Britney to care.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 10:34:28 PM
Exactly! I noticed that not many people create their own threads here then whine when gay-related threads pop up. Gosh! I also create non-gay related threads which Shelly has seemed to conveniently overlooked and, for the record, has not posted in almost any of them. Hmm, I wonder why?
Why is it that makeup, hair, and fashion threads always seem to flop dead here? Isn't transitioning supposed to be about altering your apperance and having fun while being at it and sharing ideas? Yeaaaa... I am very disappointed in sparse replies to my thread "Beauty Routines 2012"
Must every transitioning thread be about long, painful journeys or whining or how to pass?
I would love to get advice and ideas. I seem to find better stuff on beauty sites elsewhere though.
Seems many on here think you must wear a ton of makeup to fit in. Yes some cis womens routine may be even more then some here, but most can get it done in 10-15 minutes.
If you can walk out of the house with no make up and hair a mess and still be gendered female. Your their!!
I could maybe one out of 20 tries, if hair was so so one out of 5-8 times.
Kia Ora,
::) Friends, friends, let's come to some consensus here...
::) For both the trans-person from a heterosexual background and the trans-person from an homosexual or bisexual background, at times "TRANS-LIFE CAN BE A REAL BITCH !" Do I see a show of hands here ?
Metta Zenda :)
I think people just like to troll around forums like this one because they do not have lifes. :laugh:
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:52:14 PM
I think people just like to troll around forums like this one because they do not have lifes. :laugh:
Working at a gay bar isn't a life?
Then what is...then what is?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:53:06 PM
Working at a gay bar isn't a life?
Then what is...then what is?
Oh i'm sorry you were talking to me?
I was to busy talking to people in real life to care. :)
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 10:50:43 PM
Seems many on here think you must wear a ton of makeup to fit in. Yes some cis womens routine may be even more then some here, but most can get it done in 10-15 minutes.
If you can walk out of the house with no make up and hair a mess and still be gendered female. Your their!!
Yeah...the medicine hasn't kicked in yet.
I never said "a ton of makeup". I just said makeup. Subtle makeup goes along way...
Btw, if thats you in your avatar....AHMAZIN.
Quote from: Asha on January 02, 2012, 10:55:46 PM
Oh i'm sorry you were talking to me?
I was to busy talking to people in real life to care. :)
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
don't care.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 02, 2012, 10:58:54 PM
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
don't care.
Yet you keep replying back to me! :laugh:
I love you too Mahsa!! <3
Quote from: JennyCop on January 02, 2012, 10:45:35 PM
true,and I don't find this homosexual!
wow , just wow! what a thread!
I hope not! this thread is very entertaining!
all i here is this song playing while I read this!
Foster The People - Don't Stop (Color On The Walls) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlAgHt92lqE#)
You posted a video with out closed captioning/subtitles and did not write what was being said without consideration for me being deaf.
-1
Quote from: Zenda on January 02, 2012, 10:52:03 PM
Kia Ora,
::) Friends, friends, let's come to some consensus here...
::) For both the trans-person from a heterosexual background and the trans-person from an homosexual or bisexual background, at times "TRANS-LIFE CAN BE A REAL BITCH !" Do I see a show of hands here ?
Metta Zenda :)
Do you see me complaining about translesbians? I don't - yet gay-turned-hetero women get fired upon at here.
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 10:50:43 PM
I would love to get advice and ideas. I seem to find better stuff on beauty sites elsewhere though.
Seems many on here think you must wear a ton of makeup to fit in. Yes some cis womens routine may be even more then some here, but most can get it done in 10-15 minutes.
If you can walk out of the house with no make up and hair a mess and still be gendered female. Your their!!
I could maybe one out of 20 tries, if hair was so so one out of 5-8 times.
You ignore other threads that i ve created that is not even gay-related. Lovely.
This is just all about yourself and your discomfort with gay-related threads being shoved in your face.
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 11:08:08 PM
You posted a video with out closed captioning/subtitles and did not write what was being said without consideration for me being deaf.
-1
Hi five to the other deaf chick. I actually can hear in one ear a little. But I stepped on my FREAKING HEARING AID and can't afford to get a new one yet. So I'm basically housebound and on here!
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 11:10:31 PM
Do you see me complaining about translesbians? I don't - yet gay-turned-hetero women get fired upon at here.
Kia Ora Ms Daz,
::) Remember the golden rules
"Don't take things personally !" and
"Don't take life to seriously ! ::) The point I'm making is Life at times can be a real bitch for trans-people regardless of ones background, the uninformed general public really don't give a toss whether one was gay or 'straight' prior to ones transition...
::) In my case life's a real 'beach' with golden sands and blues seas...
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: mixie on January 02, 2012, 11:14:00 PM
Hi five to the other deaf chick. I actually can hear in one ear a little. But I stepped on my FREAKING HEARING AID and can't afford to get a new one yet. So I'm basically housebound and on here!
lol, hi there - and BTW, I dont wear hearing aids.
Quote from: Zenda on January 02, 2012, 11:20:34 PM
Kia Ora Ms Daz,
::) Remember the golden rules "Don't take things personally !" and "Don't take life to seriously !
::) The point I'm making is Life at times can be a real bitch for trans-people regardless of ones background, the uninformed general public really don't give a toss whether one was gay or 'straight' prior to ones transition...
::) In my case life's a real 'beach' with golden sands and blues seas...
Metta Zenda :)
You are such a sweetie I know... I love the way you frame your messages with all those smiles and faces every time you post, heh.
I get your point -t is just that gay-turned-hetero women definitely get no loving here while hetero-turned-lesbian women get all the loving, :-\
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 02, 2012, 11:39:42 PM
lol, hi there - and BTW, I dont wear hearing aids.
I didn't think so. You identified as deaf. I tell people I'm deaf because they don't believe me when I tell them I can't hear. Even with the hearing aid, I only wear one.
You know this could seem off topic but in a way it's the same thing. I've been treated differently by deaf people because I don't speak sign language and I can lip read and use my voice. Apparently there's some issue if you can hear at all you are not considered part of the 'deaf" community and need to move along. Everyone can have a reason to shun someone so that's the way it goes.
Quote from: Just Shelly on January 02, 2012, 10:43:13 PM
I find it astonishing that so many here with children seem to not consider them in there transition. I have seen some people post 50-100 times and I never knew they had children. I'm not saying this has to be the main topic if you have children but I would think it would come up from time to time. This post and others like it are not priority to me.
Yes I don't have to read them but thats all there is. I have been here awhile, many that were here when I started are gone. Why is this? ???
a transgender forum is not to be confused as a forum where one should be required to dispose everything about their own personal lives. You assume that because we do not discuss our children on Susan's then it must mean we do not include them into our transition. You are further from the truth than you would like to think.
I have three kids. What I decide to add about their lives is my business alone. If I decide to share something then I will. It's presumptuous to think that what I keep as personal is a message to you to believe we do not include our children in our process.
If anyone isn't interested in your threads, then I recommend approaching the subject you wish to talk about in another way. Writing a thread is like writing a book. If you do not provide anything interesting then no one will read it.
Finally, people who are leaving leave this site for many different reasons. Again, it is presumptuous to think that people leave because they are thinking what you are thinking. Some leave because they lose interest for whatever purposes, others leave because they feel they no longer need the site, others leave because they are forced to because they act like children, etc etc.
Also, from my point of view, the traffic on this site has been exactly the same as it was 7 months ago. People leave. People join. It's the nature of things.
Try not to presume too much.
Quote from: mixie on January 02, 2012, 11:45:42 PM
I didn't think so. You identified as deaf. I tell people I'm deaf because they don't believe me when I tell them I can't hear. Even with the hearing aid, I only wear one.
You know this could seem off topic but in a way it's the same thing. I've been treated differently by deaf people because I don't speak sign language and I can lip read and use my voice. Apparently there's some issue if you can hear at all you are not considered part of the 'deaf" community and need to move along. Everyone can have a reason to shun someone so that's the way it goes.
Yeah I know all too well what you mean. There is controversy and elitism in the deaf community regarding lipreading speakers and tone deaf sign users,
Deaf
and being trans, I m rare of the rarest. lol. It is pretty safe anybody who I ve slept with me remembers me forever. lol
Quote from: Annah on January 02, 2012, 11:59:06 PM
a transgender forum is not to be confused as a forum where one should be required to dispose everything about their own personal lives. You assume that because we do not discuss our children on Susan's then it must mean we do not include them into our transition. You are further from the truth than you would like to think.
I have three kids. What I decide to add about their lives is my business alone. If I decide to share something then I will. It's presumptuous to think that what I keep as personal is a message to you to believe we do not include our children in our process.
If anyone isn't interested in your threads, then I recommend approaching the subject you wish to talk about in another way. Writing a thread is like writing a book. If you do not provide anything interesting then no one will read it.
Finally, people who are leaving leave this site for many different reasons. Again, it is presumptuous to think that people leave because they are thinking what you are thinking. Some leave because they lose interest for whatever purposes, others leave because they feel they no longer need the site, others leave because they are forced to because they act like children, etc etc.
Also, from my point of view, the traffic on this site has been exactly the same as it was 7 months ago. People leave. People join. It's the nature of things.
Try not to presume too much.
Right on.
Also, like I mentioned earlier, Shelly chose to ignore other non gay-related threads and zoomed in on the gay-related threads and blamed them for changing the nature of the forum. It is just a homophobic knee jerk reaction.
I have been coming here, reading and posting since before June 11, 2006.
During that time I have witnessed and/or been involved in some pretty lively scraps.
People come and people go and every one of those people is unique, some exceptionally so.
There have always been topics brought up which have raised the ire of a few or many.
The problem lies not in what topics are brought up but in how they are interpreted and received by the reader.
There are tens of thousands of delineations all along the spectrum which is "Transgender/Transsexual"
Among those delineations there are Blacks, Whites, Asians, Hispanics, Indigenous, Semitic and Persian people and thorough mixes there of.
All having their own little bents in all different directions.
This is supposed to be a forum, a place to come to and exchange information and all who come here (with honorable intent)
and the subjects they post must be treated with the same respect and consideration one would expect for ones self.
Just because an individuals posted subject matter doesn't jive with someone elses own personal delineation along the spectrum,
does not mean it does not deserve to be heard.
"Can't we all just get along?"
When people join Susan's we post links to the Terms of Service. These are the rules that Susan wants the members to live by on her forum. Yes her forum.
You are here by her invitation. As people have said, Susan built this to be a support site.
Sadly that concept, though very simple, is not understood by everyone.
This thread is locked and I will be reviewing peoples comments for possible action.
Cindy James
Global Moderator