Okey so I can't start school until I've changed my name (legally) and my dad will only let me change my name to something that's unisex. But I don't really like any of the names he's suggested. The only one I'm considering would be Alex. But as I said, I can't really do anything (including school) until I've changed my name legally so I'm thinking about just being like f' it, it's a deal. Because I can't miss more school at this point and just sitting and looking at crap on tumblr all day is getting boring. But I need advice, should I just go with Alex or not? I mean I don't like it but there are tons of people with names they don't like. I'm not sure what to do. Anyone else have parents like this? Did you get to choose whatever name you wanted or did you have to compromise?
As crappy as it sounds, if you're a minor and need your parent's permission to change your name, you may have to compromise. What about a unisex first name and masculine middle name? That way you could go by one during school and the other everywhere else. To me, that's more of a compromise. Honestly, I wouldn't (as an adult) be happy with it, but as a minor, I would have jumped at the chance had my mom suggested it. Better than the alternative, I think, and you can always change it again later.
Absolutely I would compromise if I were you. At least he's letting you change your name and once you're out of school and self sufficient feel free to change it again. Also, just because your name would legally be Alex, doesn't mean you have to go by Alex in your daily life.
Quote from: Adio on January 11, 2012, 07:53:26 PM
As crappy as it sounds, if you're a minor and need your parent's permission to change your name, you may have to compromise. What about a unisex first name and masculine middle name? That way you could go by one during school and the other everywhere else. To me, that's more of a compromise. Honestly, I wouldn't (as an adult) be happy with it, but as a minor, I would have jumped at the chance had my mom suggested it. Better than the alternative, I think, and you can always change it again later.
I would try this, unisex first name and masculine middle if possible. It's a good compromise and if I were in this situation I would jump at this.
I would take that deal.
I say if you can't think of any other unisex names then go with Alex and change it down the road. Like others said you can always have a nickname to go by
Here are some cool unisex names I got off a google search though your dad would probably veto most cause they sound/look like names mostly used by men:
Avery
Brett
Brice
Cameron
Carson
Cody
Connor
Emerson
Francis (nickname Frank)
Ira
Jordan
Julian
Orion
Parker
Quinn (a particular favorite of mine)
Ryan
Shane
Tyler
I'd do it. Also, don't forget, while it may seem like a pain in the ass if you really couldn't live with a name after you're an adult you can change it again (at least I think you can ... unless some places put weird limits on that or something).
Andogynous is always more comfortable than female from what I have been thru. It is temporary so go for it.
You can always go by another name or change it again after you graduate. If it's a name you are comfortable with, then does it matter if it's unisex? There are also a lot that sound more masculine.
Honestly? If your legal name bothers you, I would say compromise and go with a unisex one. That way you could at least have something that could pass as a male name. If it helps, I have met guys named Ashley.
Stacey, Casey, Jaden, Hayden, Braden, Harper, etc - there are SEVERAL unisex names.
I would compromise.
LOL I knew a male Ashley as well
Also a male Heather. He pronounced it "He-thur". Long E sound LOL
Sorry I didn't read all of the thread.
If you want to escape you need an education.
It is your ticket out.
Being called John or Mary doesn't matter unless you have control of your life.
It is a real choice, work like hell to be capable of being you, take the education opportunities and use them. Or stay forever on the heap.
I do know.
I was gang raped at 16 by things at my school, they told me every day how much they enjoyed it, their girl friends loved it as well. They loved to see me so humiliated.
I took my chances and studied like hell. I WON.
I escaped. You can as well.
You have to make the choice. Give in. Our Win.
I'm here, I can help, but why not some of you guys start to think about winning.
Not passing
Not explaining.
But winning.
Lets talk about.
Cindy
Quote from: Thomas. on January 11, 2012, 07:47:52 PM
Okey so I can't start school until I've changed my name (legally) and my dad will only let me change my name to something that's unisex. But I don't really like any of the names he's suggested. The only one I'm considering would be Alex. But as I said, I can't really do anything (including school) until I've changed my name legally so I'm thinking about just being like f' it, it's a deal. Because I can't miss more school at this point and just sitting and looking at crap on tumblr all day is getting boring. But I need advice, should I just go with Alex or not? I mean I don't like it but there are tons of people with names they don't like. I'm not sure what to do. Anyone else have parents like this? Did you get to choose whatever name you wanted or did you have to compromise?
How understanding is your school? Is it possible for your to talk with your principle or something so that they can let your teachers know that even though you're registered under your birth name, to only use your preferred name? I dunno, for me a name is important, especially if you have to live with that name for a few years. What name did you have in mind for yourself? Maybe if you tell us we can think of some suggestions as variations that your dad might consider.
I would take that deal. As long as when you're an adult you can just change your name again.
IMO, these are awesome names. Also the names Riley, Bobby, and Max.
Quote from: Andy8715 on January 12, 2012, 12:06:41 AMHere are some cool unisex names I got off a google search though your dad would probably veto most cause they sound/look like names mostly used by men:
Avery
Brett
Brice
Cameron
Carson
Cody
Connor
Emerson
Francis (nickname Frank)
Ira
Jordan
Julian
Orion
Parker
Quinn (a particular favorite of mine)
Ryan
Shane
Tyler
As most people are suggesting, you should take the offer of name change from your dad as you can always change it later on.
I also say go for the offer, but I wouldn't go with Alex. Would it just be Alex, or would it be one of it's longer forms (Alexander, Alexandra, ect)? Regardless, you should be able to just change your name again later. Right now, the important thing is to be able to go to school as comfortably as possible (and go to school, period).
Go for the compromise, it's the best deal you can get for now that will make both of you more comfortable. When you go back to school then at least you won't have to worry about having a female name.
A name change isn't a one time thing, you can change it later in the future to a more masculine only name after you've changed it to a unisex one. But first you'll need to get your education and a job so that even if your dad never agrees to a male-only name, you could get it legally changed yourself in the future.