Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: 30kps on January 16, 2012, 04:30:51 PM

Title: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: 30kps on January 16, 2012, 04:30:51 PM
I know we have a gaming section, but it's tiny. I'm writing an article for a website and it centers on ->-bleeped-<- in gaming. So does anyone feel (like me) that games helped/help with being transgendered? I.e. for escape, the freedom to play as your actual gender, feeling free in an environment free from judgment, the fact that gaming culture is open-minded, etc.

Thanks!
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: kelly_aus on January 16, 2012, 07:26:47 PM
For me, games were simply a place for me to hide away from the world..
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: eli77 on January 16, 2012, 08:01:47 PM
I played an online game (WoW) for a few years as my correct gender - well, accidentally kind of, people assumed I was a girl, and I let them. It felt nice for a while, but I'm not sure if it was actually healthy for me. Would have been better if I'd come out rather than hid away inside a game.

I don't play them anymore. My ex was a big gamer and I originally met her through that game, and I don't really want to get sucked back into that world. I might play an offline game again someday, but I'll never do another one online.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: 4A-GZE on January 16, 2012, 08:41:54 PM
I have no friends, so all I do is play video games... It definitely does help me. I already beat Saints Row: The Third, so now nearly half of my time playing that game is spent dressing up my character, changing her hair and makeup, etc. I love the freedom to choose my gender in games like that.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Kreuzfidel on January 16, 2012, 09:43:14 PM
It helps to alleviate frustration and loneliness and, of course, feels great to play as your true gender.  Sometimes, for me, it compounds the loneliness - reminds me that I'm a loser with no friends :(
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Stephe on January 16, 2012, 11:01:12 PM
I have played second life for many years and still love it. It was a great place to explore gender and it's where I met my present partner. We have a long distance relationship but we stay close spending time together in second life. I suppose people could get too lost into worlds like this but it helped me.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Felix on January 17, 2012, 12:22:36 AM
I used to love WoW. I had male and female characters, and that was okay with everybody.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Jamie D on January 17, 2012, 01:24:24 AM
Quote from: Lyra Dash on January 16, 2012, 08:41:54 PM
I have no friends, so all I do is play video games... It definitely does help me. I already beat Saints Row: The Third, so now nearly half of my time playing that game is spent dressing up my character, changing her hair and makeup, etc. I love the freedom to choose my gender in games like that.

That's not good.  Why not seek out a glbt support group nearby?  Interact with real people face-to-face.

Does your school have a gay-straight alliance?  Have you tried clubbing?
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: 4A-GZE on January 17, 2012, 05:01:16 AM
Quote from: Jamie D on January 17, 2012, 01:24:24 AM
That's not good.  Why not seek out a glbt support group nearby?  Interact with real people face-to-face.

Does your school have a gay-straight alliance?  Have you tried clubbing?
I try to socialize, but I live right along the bible belt and nearly everyone hates me just because I wear pink shoes; they don't even know I'm transgender yet. The few tolerant people I've come across always have better friends already, so they just ignore me. I do have a few acquaintances to get me through the day, but by now I've decided that all I can do is wait for college.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: amrisa loftus on January 17, 2012, 06:33:17 PM
Dungeons and Dragons Table dice with good friends. I'm always playing a female character.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Korra on January 17, 2012, 06:48:09 PM
To me games didn't really help at all.  Although you do a pick a gender for your character, ultimately I feel it was just me hiding from reality.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: grrl1nside on January 17, 2012, 08:14:41 PM
D&D in my youth (table top)... Although I didn't play female characters out of fear of the group I played with, the ability to imagine alternative lives was something that allowed me to explore various ideas, values, and play with different gendered aspects but usually just one aspect at a time so I didn't out myself and my general inability at the time to accept what I already knew. That being said, I honestly believe that without being able to explore other realities I probably wouldn't be here now. Needed an outlet that was imaginative, creative, social, etc. I did get more chances to play a plethora of female characters when I was DM because we are common in a market square or inn. Always when I felt most at home!
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Felix on January 17, 2012, 10:39:30 PM
Quote from: grrl1nside on January 17, 2012, 08:14:41 PM
D&D in my youth (table top)... Although I didn't play female characters out of fear of the group I played with, the ability to imagine alternative lives was something that allowed me to explore various ideas, values, and play with different gendered aspects but usually just one aspect at a time so I didn't out myself and my general inability at the time to accept what I already knew. That being said, I honestly believe that without being able to explore other realities I probably wouldn't be here now. Needed an outlet that was imaginative, creative, social, etc. I did get more chances to play a plethora of female characters when I was DM because we are common in a market square or inn. Always when I felt most at home!

I want someone to teach me to play regular D&D. When I was growing up my brother and his friends played but they wouldn't let me because I was a little kid. I had a boyfriend recently who played but his friends wouldn't let me because I was a girl. When I was younger I played the video games and read the books, but I never made my way into any tabletop groups.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: grrl1nside on January 18, 2012, 08:59:42 PM
What a shame that they excluded you because usually the groups I've played with would have fallen over themselves if a female wanted to play... Played with a few female gamers later on and they always brought the social vibe to a new level. If you really do want to play then why not dig around to find a local game shop or two, have a chat (they may even have a board asking for players) with the owner and ask who might be willing to take in a new player or two. Most game shop owners are only too happy to help. Take a look at the Players handbook and maybe just try to create a character or two by yourself without playing just to get familiar with the basics. Way back when they used to have the odd old solo adventures that you could do all by yourself but they are from previous editions e.g. M1 Blizzard Pass, M2 Riddle of the Minotaur, must be a few others. Also, if you could just find one other person there was a "One on One Adventurers Compendium" for just one player and DM. Not that I would recommend this longterm, but if they only want people in with some basic experience then it is something that could get you the basics in case people are wanting to be gatekeepers. I used to like have new people join as long as they were only 1 or 2 over a period of time because it was really great energy and changed the dynamic. You might have to try a few groups over a bit of time until you find the right group but when you do there is nothing better. Makes me want to start up again... I'm waiting for my kids to get a bit older then I think it would be interesting to play as a family! Don't know of anyone doing that...
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: King Malachite on January 18, 2012, 10:47:24 PM
Quote from: Lyra Dash on January 16, 2012, 08:41:54 PM
I have no friends, so all I do is play video games... It definitely does help me. I already beat Saints Row: The Third, so now nearly half of my time playing that game is spent dressing up my character, changing her hair and makeup, etc. I love the freedom to choose my gender in games like that.

I want to get an ice cream and a soda with you. :) I'm kind of in the same boat. I do the same thing with my character on Saints Row: The Third into a character I see fit.  I did it more so on Saints Row 2.

I love video games for the escape and the freedom to be a person other than myself.  I actually did a lot of my college papers on video games.  Until I can get on my own to start T video games will have to be my therapy.  When I play video games I feel important and not small and helpless.  I hate it say it but if I'm not exactly being a hero in video gaming then I love taking my inner rage out on the civillians running them over, burning them, shooting them, beating them up. etc you get the point.  I wouldn't do those things in real life but for my personal situation where I still have to live as a female due to my family and being the Bible belt and having no money for general therapy I just have to due with what I can.  I just love video games.  It's a relatively cheap form of therapy and escape.


Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Felix on January 19, 2012, 12:17:02 AM
QuoteI'm waiting for my kids to get a bit older then I think it would be interesting to play as a family! Don't know of anyone doing that...

Wil Wheaton Takes His Son & Friends Through D&D Campaign
http://laughingsquid.com/wil-wheaton-takes-his-son-friends-through-dd-campaign/ (http://laughingsquid.com/wil-wheaton-takes-his-son-friends-through-dd-campaign/)
yay ;D

Thanks for the pointers, grrl1nside.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: fleshpull on January 19, 2012, 01:23:24 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 17, 2012, 12:22:36 AM
I used to love WoW. I had male and female characters, and that was okay with everybody.

Heh.. I did the same thing.. but my main was female.

That said.. I've used wow and work as vehicles to hide from the world for years now.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Max on January 19, 2012, 02:59:03 AM
I don't think video games have helped with my gender issues, but having freedom to play however I want was always refreshing. Now this may sound silly but the most 'helpful' game to me has been Pokemon. I've played it since it first came out and still enjoy the games. It's become monotonous but there is something about raising your team and nurturing them that makes me feel a little better.

I try to avoid playing too much of any game now though. It's so easy to get wrapped up in it because it sometimes acts as a form of therapy, but it doesn't really address the underlying issues.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Silver on January 19, 2012, 03:30:33 AM
I like some good escapism now and again. XD Actually, probably too much. But I don't think it really helps or did help. To each his own. I do play fewer games now than I used to, but I'd attribute that more to growing up than to transitioning.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Semiopathy on January 19, 2012, 03:55:01 AM
To answer the question, no. What games allowed me to do was, as others have stated, evade reality and escape into a fantasy world. Yes, I could experience being my true gender, but ultimately games proved self-destructive for me; they only served to delay my transition by allowing me to be a woman without having to do all of the work of transitioning. Reality, as much as I may have wished it at the time, does not work that way.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Felix on January 19, 2012, 03:45:44 PM
I like to play Kingdom of Loathing sometimes. You can get a trophy if you get enough backalley sex changes. I'm sure that's offensive, but the site overall is pretty droll and clever. All black and white, too, so my browser has no trouble with it.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: amrisa loftus on January 19, 2012, 09:21:18 PM
Quote from: grrl1nside on January 17, 2012, 08:14:41 PM
D&D in my youth (table top)... Although I didn't play female characters out of fear of the group I played with, the ability to imagine alternative lives was something that allowed me to explore various ideas, values, and play with different gendered aspects but usually just one aspect at a time so I didn't out myself and my general inability at the time to accept what I already knew. That being said, I honestly believe that without being able to explore other realities I probably wouldn't be here now. Needed an outlet that was imaginative, creative, social, etc. I did get more chances to play a plethora of female characters when I was DM because we are common in a market square or inn. Always when I felt most at home!

Since I've been playing D&D as female for a while. that has helped my friends with the whole thing about me becoming female.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Ayden on January 20, 2012, 02:55:55 PM
Are you only asking about online games/MMOs? I don't play either, but I have been known to enjoy a good round of Tekken or Soul Blade when I was feeling frustrated. I also like classic RPGs, but it's really because it gives me a chance to take a breather and gives me a time out from life in general. I rarely play though, since I am pretty busy.

I don't think they have helped with being trans, but I have fun playing them with friends or my sweetheart.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: GinaDouglas on January 22, 2012, 03:56:04 PM
Online roleplaying was instrumental in helping me find my true self.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Stefan on January 23, 2012, 10:32:43 AM
They haven't exactly helped with being transgender but they definitely helped me get through my teenage years. I used to play Habbo Hotel (a virtual place where you make a character, talk to people and make your own rooms). I was able to live as a boy on the internet which probably saved me from depression. I do wish however that I had just come out and stopped living in a fake world. Everyone in my family knew that I was living as a boy on the internet though so it didn't surprise them at all when I came out as trans. But seeing as how I was 11 years old when I first started living as a boy online I don't think I was ready to come out yet. I was still just experimenting with my gender.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: deatsabat546 on January 26, 2012, 10:32:58 PM
i have to say video games did help  me with being transgender.
it was nice to being able to pick and play as a charter of my true sex
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Felix on January 29, 2012, 02:23:12 AM
My teenage years didn't exist. That's my story and I'm sticking to it tonight. No videogames were involved.

I will say that I think games make life sane and interesting and okay. They can be colorful, safe, and clever. They can be intense and challenging. They can let you be what you want. Play is really really important, however you go about it.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: Maja.V on January 29, 2012, 02:40:10 AM
Yes, actually, games did help. I started playing games at the age of 8 (now 22) and I think they had a massive influence on me. They kept me sane, in a way, because I would always play games that had the option of playing a female character (even more so if it had character customization, as well), and I down right refused to play any kind of other game. Even if the game was awful, I still enjoyed it. It made me feel like I am the character, being myself in a fantasy world, even if for a little while.
Now that I'm transitioning, I don't find it unbearable not to play such games anymore.
Title: Re: Have games helped with being transgendered?
Post by: clairebear78 on February 04, 2012, 06:44:25 PM
I don't know if games helped me, but l do know playing World of Warcraft for 7 years allowed me to escape reality and allowed me to visualize myself as the female character, but it kept me thinking about being transgendered and my depression would only kick in when l wasn't playing. Since cancelling my account l have found very little interest in gaming at all. Now a days l enjoy singing in my car and oddly removing body hair with an epilator. Which l find peaceful and soothing, except the ingrown hairs which hurt a lot.