So gender labels tend not to fit me very well. At the moment "queer" and "gender variant" are the ones that fit best, probably because they are as vague as possible :) But for me "transgender", or "trans" doesn't seem to fit - for me trans suggests a change and I don't feel like I am changing my gender, I am just finding it.
Part of me feels like I could be more accepting of myself if I embraced the "trans" identity, and see it as an umbrella term that includes me by default. But that feels like being told that, as a bi person, I should include myself in the term "Lesbian and Gay" when they are used to describe events, meetings, issues etc. And I feel very strongly that that is not right, and that as a bi person I should be recognised for what I am. Anyway I am very confusified ???
Do people here identify as trans? Or otherwise?
Depends on context.
Sometimes I say yes, I am under the trans umbrella. Trans as in transcending, less so transgressing, and much less so transformation.
Other times I say cis vs. trans is much like male vs. female: a false dichotomy. I find myself either on both ends or in the middle, or perpendicular to it.
But I can also live with the idea that the trans umbrella covers anyone who is not cisgendered. Solidarity! :)
Maybe a shadow is a better metaphor than an umbrella; in that case I'm in the penumbra, not the umbra.
My dysphoria is much less severe than it is in many, even among androgynes. My gender identity actually feels like a less important thing since coming to terms with it, like a beast that's been tamed (but still has a tendency to scratch at the door when it wants out). And so I think that contributes to me not feeling like I am *really* trans. (Similarly, my brother, born female, doesn't consider himself trans anymore, but just a guy with problems in the past.)
I identify as non-binary but I identify too as trans. I identify as trans because I feel that I am crossing over to the female side. No amount of male is enough for me to be comfortable with my male body. I do not believe in the binary system but for the sake of argument I will use it to explain myself better:
A person can be born male and identify as non-binary because they feel that they have a healthy dose of feminine and masculine within them (note that I am not talking about bigender). However a person, me for example, who is born male identify as female with healthy doses of male. So I am not comfortable with the identify that I am born in and would rather identify with the "opposite" gender yet feel that I have a healthy dose of the gender that "I am born in".
I am not sure if I am explaining myself well. So I identify as non-binary but also as trans.
I do, simply because I am going through a physical transition.
Quote from: Caseyyy on January 18, 2012, 01:28:10 PM
I do, simply because I am going through a physical transition.
Seconded.
Yes, as I'm looking to go through a physical transition as well. It's a label I take some pride in, but not as much as I do genderqueer. ♥
Quote from: saint on January 18, 2012, 05:22:59 AM
So gender labels tend not to fit me very well. At the moment "queer" and "gender variant" are the ones that fit best, probably because they are as vague as possible :) But for me "transgender", or "trans" doesn't seem to fit - for me trans suggests a change and I don't feel like I am changing my gender, I am just finding it.
Part of me feels like I could be more accepting of myself if I embraced the "trans" identity, and see it as an umbrella term that includes me by default. But that feels like being told that, as a bi person, I should include myself in the term "Lesbian and Gay" when they are used to describe events, meetings, issues etc. And I feel very strongly that that is not right, and that as a bi person I should be recognised for what I am. Anyway I am very confusified ???
Do people here identify as trans? Or otherwise?
Part of the reason I am here is to learn more about myself. I am bisexual and I am bigendered. Because I was born with a male body, I have presented as male, uncomfortably, all my life. But being an alpha male nearly killed me, from the stress and the wear and the tear. My few forays into femaledom were joyous and reinvigorating.
Am I Mtf? Or BtF? or B(M)tB(F)? Or something else? I don't know yet. I can't wait to find out!
Yes. I am a balance os the genders but must take hormones and want the surgery . My male parts gotta go..
It has been interesting reading these replies - firstly it has shown me how I tend to think of other 'andro' people as similar to myself in that I presume they have no interest in hormones or any kind of biological transition. I am not sure how that idea mananged to stay in my head the amount of time I spend browsing this forum but there you go :)
Actually I think one reason I think that is because I carry around another weird (and incorrect) idea; that being non-binary is somehow less... serious(and valid) than being trans? Because it doesn't involve surgery or passing as a gender not assigned at birth. But of course - it CAN do. I have difficulty with self-acceptance at times, and I see I have been viewing 'non-binary' as easier to deal with than being trans (not that they have to be separate things). But of course identifying as non-binary but at the same time seeing this as less valid than other trans identities is not very helpful or good for my self-esteem.
I have no idea if any of that made sense to anyone, but anyway I feel a little bit clearer about how I feel now. Cheers me dears :)
Yes Saint,
it makes sense to me what you say :-)
Cheer up honey,
Axélle
Quote from: Jamie D on January 20, 2012, 01:40:27 AM
Part of the reason I am here is to learn more about myself. I am bisexual and I am bigendered. Because I was born with a male body, I have presented as male, uncomfortably, all my life. But being an alpha male nearly killed me, from the stress and the wear and the tear. My few forays into femaledom were joyous and reinvigorating.
Am I Mtf? Or BtF? or B(M)tB(F)? Or something else? I don't know yet. I can't wait to find out!
My understanding is that the first letter is your biological sex (M/F/I) then either t or 2 both short for "to"
the final Letter (or group of letters) can either be your gender or your presentation style
I am a M2Wtf (Male to What the F#@k) trans person
I prefer to say I'm a gender diverse person then trans, as trans is assumed to be binary. But I am Trans* something I've seen a couple of times to be inclusive of all gender diverse/trans people
I am on hormones and have every intention to make some changes so I am Transitioning so I am willing to fight for the right to be included under the trans umbrella
I'm trans, because I'm transitioning (physically) from male to female, which is how it should have been. I'm not transgender, because my gender sense is pretty androgyne and isn't in transition - and I don't like the term transsexual, it's too clinical (and too open to being used pseudo-hierarchically by some).
This is why I've coined the term Womandrogyne to describe myself :). I'm androgyne by gender, woman/female by physical characteristics (or will be, come the day).
Of course, when I have to say *something*, I tell people I'm going through a "gender transition", because there's a generally understood sense of what that means which fits closely to what I'm doing in terms of hormones and surgery. But as is always the case with one-or-two word explanations, it's clumsy shorthand for what's really happening.
Saint, I do know what you mean about how it seems easier not transitioning. That's how I feel too. Not having the expense, the hassles, the social challenges and emotional stress of it all.
But in the long run, sometimes doing the difficult thing makes the rest of life easier/better. For some, not transitioning is more pain and trouble than transitioning.
Good old Dumbledore talks about times "...when you find yourself having to make a choice between what is right and what is easy..." and we each have to figure out what's right for us, even if the best thing isn't the easy thing. What will make you more you? Whatever that is, do it. Whatever that isn't, don't do it.
Quote from: saint on January 18, 2012, 05:22:59 AM
So gender labels tend not to fit me very well. At the moment "queer" and "gender variant" are the ones that fit best, probably because they are as vague as possible :) But for me "transgender", or "trans" doesn't seem to fit -
Do people here identify as trans? Or otherwise?
Trans is a word that covers big territory both geographically like trans-Siberian and within the colorful spectrum of differing gender descriptions. I had at one time thought that the female side that lurked within me ought to come out completely and so I went on HRT and had surgery. Then I lost fifty pounds and began to think that although I was short and close to proportionally pretty good, that my face just didn't quite cut it. I had my upper eyelids done and a neck lift, then after all of that I came to some enlightening self discoveries. Being adept at makeup I could look pretty if I wanted, but it would take too much time each day getting all primped out. Then I would need a good wardrobe and a variety of shoes to complement my outfits, the more I thought about it the more I agonized over the fact that it was much more than I would want to have to deal with. I know that a lot of genetic females dress like loggers and slobs, I can't do that as a female, it just wouldn't be me because I'm fastidious and like to look nice in whatever mode. So I conceded that androgyne is most acceptable and less stress for me and my family members. Sounds like a cop out I admit, but finding one's place and becoming comfortable with it is the beginning of happiness, and I am as close as it gets! Hope my experience will help someone settle their own issues. GID never goes away completely, but we can find a good space and learn to live at peace within it's boundaries.
Never 'Trans', but a Transgender Person. That would fall under the transgender umbrella that this forum uses.
I think that last year that umbrella started to fold and this year it will some more. Or shrink in definitions it covers.
It will mean something to cis people, and will be used to define a group of people to them.
But, I don't think it is as strong as it was a couple years ago among the people who used it as a definition and/or identity.
Time will tell. Just my view. When the dust settles, it will be redefined and stronger in definition because of it.
Non-Binary is what I use, or Androgyn depending on who is involved.
Mostly I am just me, I don't have a need to define myself as much as I used to.
I don't care much what people think when I talk about gender and it's definitions as I see it.
I usually tell people it is not any of their business what I consider my gender to be.
It just leads to a long needless discussion that has become annoying.
I am me, just as you are you and I don't need to know how you define your gender.
I usually could care less. Your personality defines you far more than gender, and way more than your sexual preferences.
That is how a person is truly identified.
But, (there are to many But's) when it comes to push and shove in today's world of religion/politics, I use the words 'Transgender Person'.
I tack on the words person and people when ever possible. It helps cis people to remember we are people just as they are.
This will be important especially in the up coming months of political/religious BS. It should always be important to tack people on.
It's far more important to forget the definitions that can be used, and just become yourself, and adopting a more generalized self definition.
The path of labels that criss-cross over each other in so many ways will usually keep your dysphoria just'a rocking there.
Those paths at times need to be traversed to get you to where you think you should be or want to be.
Be careful of labels...it is very easy to become what you read into them.
This leaves you boxed into a place that may or may not let you just be yourself.
Find your identity, not the label, nor the definitions that come with them.
Identify as Trans? How many ways can you define that and what does it mean to those that you use it to say who you are?
I personally would stay away from an abbreviation of a word that is not very well understood to begin with and is in a process of regenerating itself again.
I am known as Ativan. I am Identified by my actions that are a result of my personality. So are you.
What a rant...
Ativan
In this whole goofy thing with the Girl Scout cookies and wacky conspiracy theory that they're used to fund "UN anti-population goals", I think the most chilling bit was referring to people as "transgenders" the way someone 60 years ago (or today in South Africa) would use "coloreds."
There seem to be a lot of people out there who think trans means transitioning, but then, those are the same people who find it ridiculous that someone might prefer pronouns other than "he" or "she." Some of them get up in arms about the singular "they" and insist "good grammar" (which is in dispute) is more important than peoples' identities, and at the same time claim not to be transphobic. Bleh.
Quote from: foosnark on January 26, 2012, 06:37:43 AM
There seem to be a lot of people out there who think trans means transitioning, but then, those are the same people who find it ridiculous that someone might prefer pronouns other than "he" or "she." Some of them get up in arms about the singular "they" and insist "good grammar" (which is in dispute) is more important than peoples' identities, and at the same time claim not to be transphobic. Bleh.
With the exception of the getting up in arms bit, you pretty much described me :-)) Pretty sure I'm not transphobic hehe
Quote from: foosnark on January 26, 2012, 06:37:43 AMSome of them get up in arms about the singular "they" and insist "good grammar" (which is in dispute) is more important than peoples' identities, and at the same time claim not to be transphobic. Bleh.
You've described my partner. I don't think he's transphobic, but he has a beef with every gender-neutral pronoun I throw at him. The closest he comes is calling me "he" almost as often as "she", which is all right since I'm generally not too bothered. I actually prefer e/em, but he thinks that's dumb.
My browser autocorrected transphobic to trains phobic. :D
Quote from: Julian on January 26, 2012, 08:33:36 AM
My browser autocorrected transphobic to trains phobic. :D
You must be chuffed :).
As long as you're on the right track. ...I didn't mean to derail the thread.
Crazy Train...
Quote from: foosnark on January 26, 2012, 01:51:12 PM
As long as you're on the right track. ...I didn't mean to derail the thread.
Oh my!
That was like a one-two punch to the gut.
Quote from: Jamie D on January 27, 2012, 04:26:52 AM
Oh my!
That was like a one-two punch to the gut.
?
Ativan
Quote from: Kinkly on January 21, 2012, 05:32:00 AM
I am a M2Wtf (Male to What the F#@k) trans person
+1 to M2Wtf!!!
At least that's the way I feel at the moment ...
I identify as Jaime, but I am also a twit.
I don't, but other people use that sometimes in describing me. Which is OK as long as it's not the only thing that describes me. But I'm not much into correcting other people anyway (really, who's got the time?) so even if I didn't like it, I wouldn't do much about it.
Quote from: Ativan on January 27, 2012, 09:10:11 AM
Quote from: Jamie D on January 27, 2012, 04:26:52 AM
Quote from: foosnark on January 26, 2012, 01:51:12 PM
As long as you're on the right track. ...I didn't mean to derail the thread.
Oh my!
That was like a one-two punch to the gut.
?
Ativan
foosnark entrained a couple of railroad puns.
I hardly ever catch those... I let a lot of ->-bleeped-<- just slip by.
Must have a one track mind, miss the signals, delayed reaction - that sort of thing.
Huh?
Train puns (des calembours) - please forgive us.
The futile attempt at drift by using the well known word 'Huh', failed once again.
I still don't use the abbreviated term 'Trans'. It could be the abbreviation of many things to many people.
I prefer to identify as Non-binary at this point, as far as gender goes. I prefer to be more specific and leave less doubt.
It keeps that annoying discussion to a minimum of Q&A.
I consider myself to be transgender because my gender identity does not align with the gender I was assumed and raised to be; my sex and assigned gender are rather at odds with my gender identity. Trans can be the abbreviation of quite a few things, in regards to sex/gender identity or expression, but I fit fairly neatly into most of those, I believe, if not in the more traditional, binary, sense.
I just see the use of the term 'trans', when not used with people who understand what you mean,
could mean literally hundreds of different things. Transportation? etc,etc.
In the politically charged year that we are just starting in, I make it a habit to be more direct with the use of Transgender.
Transgender People also helps to bring the awareness that we are People, not things.
As a group, yes, trans is perfectly suitable when speaking within the group, of course.
yep, minor ranting again, sorry,
Ativan
Quote from: foosnark on January 22, 2012, 07:55:23 AM
Saint, I do know what you mean about how it seems easier not transitioning. That's how I feel too. Not having the expense, the hassles, the social challenges and emotional stress of it all.
But in the long run, sometimes doing the difficult thing makes the rest of life easier/better. For some, not transitioning is more pain and trouble than transitioning.
I've spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that because I am non-binary "transition is not for me." The fact that I haven't moved towards a physical transition has caused a lot of suffering. I'm not saying this is an universal issue because of course it isn't but I've found that I can't deal with not making any physical changes at all.
I'm in a bit of a weird predicament as I don't really identify with the word "androgyne." I'd say I'm definitely some sort of third gender or genderfluid, but androgyne is so far off from what I am. As time goes on I find that I identify more with the word "transgender" because I am wanting the physical changes so badly. But once those changes are accomplished I can't say I'd feel as aligned to that word anymore.
Quote from: chan2011 on February 01, 2012, 08:15:25 PM
I've spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that because I am non-binary "transition is not for me." The fact that I haven't moved towards a physical transition has caused a lot of suffering. I'm not saying this is an universal issue because of course it isn't but I've found that I can't deal with not making any physical changes at all.
I'm in a bit of a weird predicament as I don't really identify with the word "androgyne." I'd say I'm definitely some sort of third gender or genderfluid, but androgyne is so far off from what I am. As time goes on I find that I identify more with the word "transgender" because I am wanting the physical changes so badly. But once those changes are accomplished I can't say I'd feel as aligned to that word anymore.
Don't read to much into the definitions of these labels.
One of the wisest things I was told (several times I have heard this), is to be careful what you read, you just may become it.
I hear that as a warning not to try and define yourself to much. Don't get locked into something that is hard to find your way out of.
I find these days that Non-Binary works just fine.
I tried Androgyn among others and they are just to confining to most of us.
We are Gender Outlaws.
Labels have a very distinct way of getting in our way to living.
It's the way we are. We accept you as you accept us.
We don't need to confine ourselves to mere labels.
You don't owe anyone a definition, you only owe yourself the life you want, not a definition to cling to.
I 'opinionate' to much,
Ativan
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 29, 2012, 02:55:02 PM
Must have a one track mind, miss the signals, delayed reaction - that sort of thing.
Oh no!
Those knocked the wind right out of me.