I have a 2 questions and since a few of you have made it far into transitioning I wanted to ask opinions on both of these...
Number 1:
Because of how i look... i always imagine after all the changes (estrogen and such) I'll never look like a girl... I've been real down on this and I found a way to look at this in a positive manner. There is a character in a manga i read who is a girl, but she looks like a guy. I use her as my "role model" because if she looks like a guy but is a girl I can feel as if i might not be a freak... is this a bad way to think?
Number 2:
Okay... im at the starting paces of transitioning (I have to wait for starting... now is the planning stage...) and I friend i've known forever asked me out.. I've known him forever and it's that he identified as gay... The fact that i'm going to be a girl it makes me scared that if i said yes it'd break us up because of it (being a girl has already killed 2 of my relationships..) How do I avoid situations like this?
Well, as far as question 1, one of our biggest hurdles, I think, is to get over feeling like a freak. And that one can sneak up on you. I was feeling very good about myself through most of my early transition, including going full-time in April (with only 3 weeks of HRT under my belt at the time), but in late summer, I tried my hand at Internet dating, and realized that I was thinking that anyone who would find me attractive/desirable (in my current configuration) would have to be SICK, which tipped me off I was still thinking of myself as "freak", and practicing self-hatred. That jolted me into awareness, and (with my therapist's help) I finally broke (mostly) free of that. And I had a couple of short flings with "nice/normal" men, which showed me the error of my thinking! ;D
As for Question 2, I came to realize that a Gay guy won't treat you as a woman, he's into guys. So... if you want a man, don't try to make it with a gay guy, go for someone who's bi at least (IMHO, YMMV).
Quote from: Colleen Ireland on January 25, 2012, 09:31:43 PM
Well, as far as question 1, one of our biggest hurdles, I think, is to get over feeling like a freak. And that one can sneak up on you. I was feeling very good about myself through most of my early transition, including going full-time in April (with only 3 weeks of HRT under my belt at the time), but in late summer, I tried my hand at Internet dating, and realized that I was thinking that anyone who would find me attractive/desirable (in my current configuration) would have to be SICK, which tipped me off I was still thinking of myself as "freak", and practicing self-hatred. That jolted me into awareness, and (with my therapist's help) I finally broke (mostly) free of that. And I had a couple of short flings with "nice/normal" men, which showed me the error of my thinking! ;D
As for Question 2, I came to realize that a Gay guy won't treat you as a woman, he's into guys. So... if you want a man, don't try to make it with a gay guy, go for someone who's bi at least (IMHO, YMMV).
thank you very much! I shall remember all this ^^