I'm wondering what people's thoughts are on the more mainstream dating site for people like us. I'm talking about places like Zoosk, OKCupid, eHarmony, etc. I'm tempted to sign up as a 'regular straight girl' and not say anything until I know it's going somewhere and I've met the right person.
It seems this might give me the most options, but I'd also rather go into things with the guy knowing.
But I'm also trying to account for the fact that I'm going to be post op in less than a month.
Any experiences or thoughts?
I've not personally used them, but I don't see what would be wrong with trying them. I also don't think it's necessary to say you're trans right away - I mean do we have a big T stamped on our foreheads when we go to the pub or a club?
I went with OkCupid and I had some good results there.
I did put I my situation on the bottom.
Here's how I did it:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/AnnahMH (http://www.okcupid.com/profile/AnnahMH)
Why not just wait a month and then you will be a regular straight girl. How much you want to reveal about your past life is up to you but I wouldn't say anything up front in your ad.
By the way congratulations, that's so exciting.
I use Match and eHarmony frequently and I don't mention a thing about my current "status as it pertains to gender". If you look at my profile, it reads as any other genetic female. I also never get in to this discussion with a guy until the third date. That's a set-in-stone rule for me, as it generally takes that long for me to determine if the guy is worth my time and effort. Your own course of action will depend mainly on how well you pass and how comfortable you are with others. These two things, for better or worse, are mainly what it comes down to.
I joined RSVP and have had a few replies from women. Two became good friends, and a third ended up in a relationship before we got past the first few emails. Since then though all I have had in the way of replies is straight guys, when I specifically said in my headline I was only interested in women. Can't work that one out.
I am a member of a Lesbian site also, and have had a lot more chat and email contact there.
Karen.
Makes sense Annah, good idea! I signed up for Zoosk and I'm giving it a try. After all, like Kreuzfidel said, it's not different going to a straight bar and chatting with guys there, which is something I frequently do.
I'm actually also on OKC but not a lot of people in my area there, but you'll never know what can come of it I guess.
Anyone else?
I joined OKCupid awhile back and tried out different methods. Eventually I just settled on telling the person after they asked if I'd like to grab a drink sometime and got to knew me for a bit. It turned out to be a complete non-issue about 95% of the time. My current girlfriend and I met on there and we now live together and have been together for a year.
Charlotte, it's probably a little different since I only date (or at least go for) straight men.
Quote from: Icephoenyx on February 02, 2012, 09:55:35 PM
Charlotte, it's probably a little different since I only date (or at least go for) straight men.
While I do think that's true to some extent, my girlfriend is a lesbian and has only ever dated women. In my experience (I did attempt to date straight guys for awhile) gay women were much harder to date than the guys I told. Most of the men had no issue with it.
I wouldn't have an issue dating any of you :)
I will try the Cupid site. Match.com is not working for me whatsoever. They send me "matches" that don't fit my criteria :(
Also, I stay away from eharmony. I do not want to give money to a site owner who is against gay marriage, finds homosexual relationships as sinners, and refuses to lets gays and lesbians on his site as a "gay."
Not to mention that eharmony was rated as the top 5 worse websites by Time Magazine.
Interesting, what was eharmony voted the worst site for? I find that surprising because I know a lot of people who at least tried it.
They were cited as the 5 worse because of a few things:
1. Past lawsuits against eharmony
2. Current lawsuits against eharmony
3. Falsifying "scientific data" regarding their match formulas
4. Limiting singles to heterosexual only
5. After a court order they created a gays only sight but then forced bisexuals to pay for both website subscriptions
6. Because of point 5, court ordered the sites to be linked together and to stop double charging bisexuals
7. Owner is sympathetic and supportive of "Pray the Gay away camps" for minors.
I date mostly men now, but in good conscious, I cannot support a site like that.