Yes, it's that fooking awesome (NOT!!!) time of the month >:(
I was looking for ways to reduce the flow (even though I take tablets to reduce it, i would like toreduce even further) on google and came across this 'celebratingmenstruation' tumblr thing. Now to say this triggered my dysphoria wouldn't even describe it. I just can't comprehend how people can actually enjoy periods and be ok with it happening.
I dunno why I'mmaking this thread, just feeling really weird that I have sucha strong repulsion to somehting that other people seem to really like?
urghh
:(
Yep. Strange, isn't it? My mother marked on the calendar when I had my first one. I don't understand it at all. But apparently some women do think it is something to celebrate. One woman in a class of mine made an annoucement that her daughter started and she was going to throw her a party.
Edit: I shouldn't say 'strange' so much as 'alien to me'. I have heard some women talk positively about it. I am certainly not the best person to talk to about celebrating something I loath to admit I experience.
My all of the females in the family celebrated when I got mine and even a family friend. I pretended to be happy but here is how I read it:
"Congrats! Now your dysphoria will get even worse as you have to content with feeling weak and bleeding at the same time."
I hate those visits from Aunt Flow. I'm going to beat her down one day and kick her behind to the curve one day with a total hysterectomy because she has overstayed her welcome for the longest now.
Navajos have a huge four day long celebration when a girl gets her first period. She dresses in traditional clothing and lives in a hogan and eats a traditional cake baked in the ground and they have a huge party. We get girls missing school for it all the time. They're always so proud and happy, but I would have been mortified at that age with the whole school and community knowing I had my period. But different cultures...
read somewhere that in Japan there given red bean rice for the first one
The only thing I'm truly dysphoric about is my chest. I hate my excessively large breasts. But I try to think of the future without them!
But yeah, think about it. It's a symbol that a girl is now a "woman". I can understand why many would be excited about it. It's sort of like when guys get that first chest hair or something lol a right of passage or something.
I do get what you're saying though. Periods suck and they are painful! Can't wait to be on T and be rid of it!
My feminist mother was like that when my sister started. Hence I tried to hide it when I got mine - worked for a while, but got found out eventually. Much "celebrating" ensued.
I'd probably commit suicide if my family had celebrated my first. I'm serious too. i couldn't handle that, dysphoria wise. The first bra experience was bad enough.
I dunno though, if an adult woman can find a reason to be happy about her period more power to her I suppose.
I think it's a fertility thing. I remember when my mom found out about mine. She mourned for days xD. I don't know what I would've done if I had to go through that celebration stuff. I know I would've been humiliated, but cake tends to make everything better :d. Just as long as it wasn't blood red or shaped in some sort of ridiculous symbolic way @_@.
Quote from: Caseyyy on January 31, 2012, 09:50:44 PM
I'd probably commit suicide if my family had celebrated my first. I'm serious too. i couldn't handle that, dysphoria wise. The first bra experience was bad enough.
I dunno though, if an adult woman can find a reason to be happy about her period more power to her I suppose.
I remember the bra thing grrrr. A friend of the family would tease me all the time and call them "frick and frack" and my sisters would grab at my boobs and say "wow your boobs are huge" or something similar like that. Gosh my dysphoria shot up like crazy. Damn jigglypuffs.
At any rate the only good thing I can find about my period is the ability to manipulate my family. Usually I can put off doing chores or whatnot by just saying it's that time of the month or it gives me a tiny bit of an excuse to throw my rage out and they dismiss it as my period. Don't get me wrong I would love to not have Aunt Flow and do what I have to do but now it just gives me a reason to slack off even more than usual.....for me at least.
@Nick I can't wait to start T one day too to surpress it.
Things are a tad different from my end. As an MtF I knew I'd never have that problem. or so I thought. I get the bloating, cramping, kind of short tempered and bitchy too. The only thing I am happy about is I don't bleed every month. Because as a pre-op, there is no way I can stuff a tampon in there. it would be like trying to shove a golf ball through a straw. But since I have no idea why I am getting them in the first place, I am confused as heck about it.
The lighter side of it is of course, I know how it feels. And after only 11 months, I'm over that 'new car smell', so to speak. Thank God for Pamprin! I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with them. And my first one was not celebrated, it was kind of cursed at because it felt like a week long stomach ache that was lower than any belly ache I'd had and Tums had no effect at all on it. I had thought it was my body getting used to the hormones and spiro. Or something I ate...
So I guess, be careful of what you wish for...
I remember hearing a group of girls saying how excited they were to get it and how it made them feel womanly.
When I got mine my mom told be I had to be careful now so I don't get pregnant. I was 11.
I know she had me in her teens, but still. I hope she knows most 11 year old aren't having sex.
I've never even met a female that wanted to celebrate it. I'm stealth, so girls often yell at me that I have no idea what they go through and try to make me feel sympathy for them(which I do) by using guilt and scare tactics.
And Sharky lol... actually I think the statistics now are OVER 1 out of every 10 kids have vaginal sex before they're even 12.
Quote from: stiltsk on February 01, 2012, 01:35:05 AM
And Sharky lol... actually I think the statistics now are OVER 1 out of every 10 kids have vaginal sex before they're even 12.
Horrifying.
I've analysed why it made me freak out last night seeing that stuff and it may be because everyone uses female words and pronouns when discussing it :( I take it personally as if they're calling me a woman or a girl and I can't stand that. (I don't mean you guys, just the general population)
I'm so pathetic these days :(
That is horrifying!
This may not equate to first periods, but I was sitting in my bedroom when I was about 10-11 whatever. Wearing my sisters clothes and feeling good. I knew nothing about sex (I'm old). I started to play with my hair and curl it etc, so I looked like me., trying make up, what we do!
I had an orgasm.
My dad had told me that boys had white stuff come out of their penises, and it was normal. I didn't know what he meant. My sister had explained periods to me and I had questioned my mother why mine hadn't started.
When I 'orgasmed' it was the most awful day.
I cried.
I honestly thought I was a girl and god would correct it.
No one should tell a 11yr old that she is a boy and its task is to be the man and father children. I wanted to have children. I pushed my dolly in the pram.
Sorry, I'm coming out of a black one and I need to keep going.
Hugs
Cindy
I'm going to leave it as I have had a massive GID attack and I do not want to re-trigger.
Quote from: Cindy James on February 01, 2012, 03:50:56 AM
That is horrifying!
This may not equate to first periods, but I was sitting in my bedroom when I was about 10-11 whatever. Wearing my sisters clothes and feeling good. I knew nothing about sex (I'm old). I started to play with my hair and curl it etc, so I looked like me., trying make up, what we do!
I had an orgasm.
My dad had told me that boys had white stuff come out of their penises, and it was normal. I didn't know what he meant. My sister had explained periods to me and I had questioned my mother why mine hadn't started.
When I 'orgasmed' it was the most awful day.
I cried.
I honestly thought I was a girl and god would correct it.
No one should tell a 11yr old that she is a boy and its task is to be the man and father children. I wanted to have children. I pushed my dolly in the pram.
Sorry, I'm coming out of a black one and I need to keep going.
Hugs
Cindy
I'm going to leave it as I have had a massive GID attack and I do not want to re-trigger.
oh dear :( I'm sorry I re-ignited GID for you :embarrassed:
Periods are horrible, I hate when my mtf friends talk about how they wish they could have it.. it makes no sense from my view,
its a week in illness, pain, blood, lots of clearning, no swimming, no chokolate and no sex..
only positive thing about is that your not pregnant, but on the other way you have it cause you CAN get pregnent, so its not really a positive thing anyway, just the only thing I could think about... -__-
When I was in 5th grade my best friend (bigger tomboy than I was even) and I were excited to get our periods for about a day. We got a "survival kit" from school with all the necessary supplies and then I slept over her house that night and we put the pads in our underwear to "practice". I personally felt like I was wearing a diaper and didn't like it. The night I actually got my first period in 7th grade was a bit of a mixed bag. For some reason the day or two before I get my period I become really energetic and outgoing (I was really quiet as a kid) and I loved that part, but when I saw the actual fluid I cried. It was more a feeling of "I have to put up with this once a month for the next forty years!?" To a 12-year-old that prospect was completely overwhelming. I could wait until menopause already. Luckily when I was in college I got PCOS and my period started getting so irregular sometimes I could go for six or seven months without it. I can't wait to start T and be done with it forever.
My mom congratulated me when I started :/ Said something along the lines of "Welcome to the sisterhood." I remember taking it literally and wondering what this thing had to do with my aunt lol
And out of curiosity, did any other guys hide/try to hide their period? Kreuz mentioned hiding his. I myself hid it for at least two-three months, if i recall correctly.
(Then I finally figured out that there were probably better options than wearing thick black sweatpants every month for five days, and told my dad. I think I cried for a solid hour or so afterwards. Not a fun day.)
Well, some extreme feminists would say that getting theirs is a sign of womanhood,
As for me, I say that it's more of a sign of god's discontent with women.
"And you women shall bleed for seven days out of every month to remember where you stand in the eyes of men!"
i freaked out when i first started. pretended nothing had happened all day then burst into tears when i got home, then my mum decided to buy me a ring to celebrate but before she gave it to me made me promise not to have sex until i was married... so much awkward.
I can see why someone might celebrate it. If a person is a woman and is therefore comfortable with a female's body, she might see it as symbolic of her fertility and ability to bring life into the world, carry on the human race, etc.
From the transguy perspective of dysphoria of course it's hard to fathom, but eventually--when (if?) you go on T and the period ceases--you might be able to appreciate it in others because it is no longer your burden to deal with. After all, if it were not for this process in cis-females, none of us would have been born.
when i had my first i kept it hidden i find it weird that people would ever celebrate this. i like that shark week is no more for me when i do get it i get really agitated and anti social.
Quote from: Renard on February 01, 2012, 10:22:21 AM
And out of curiosity, did any other guys hide/try to hide their period? Kreuz mentioned hiding his. I myself hid it for at least two-three months, if i recall correctly.
I have always tried to hide it, I have no problems with other talking about period, but I never show when I got something myself and always hated it.
Sadly I grew up in comunetys with very few girls, so it where harder to hide.
-----
gentlemand:
I had the same kind of thought,
I feel pretty sad for women like, you must bleed and me in pain every months like a punishment for not getting pregnent,
if you do then you must wait 9 months and have a painfull time getting birth.
Quote from: Renard on February 01, 2012, 10:22:21 AM
And out of curiosity, did any other guys hide/try to hide their period? Kreuz mentioned hiding his. I myself hid it for at least two-three months, if i recall correctly.
I did, but mostly out of embarrassment. When I was in middle school I was on the wrestling team, and I had to fight so hard to be accepted by the other guys that I probably would have gnawed off my arm before I admitted it. Now though, I mostly just complain and glare at my stomach with as much of a death glare as I can manage.
I don't get triggered so much by it anymore, it's mostly just something I like to pretend doesn't happen. But I guess one person's irritation is another's celebration, eh?
Edit: In the end I would rather deal with the bleeding than be pregnant. Pregnant ladies are one of my biggest phobias.
Saw this...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaMCcp.jpg&hash=37c886d81eaf08c29e36878baa7c8a0509641a08)
Quote from: stiltsk on February 01, 2012, 01:35:05 AM
I've never even met a female that wanted to celebrate it. I'm stealth, so girls often yell at me that I have no idea what they go through and try to make me feel sympathy for them(which I do) by using guilt and scare tactics.
And Sharky lol... actually I think the statistics now are OVER 1 out of every 10 kids have vaginal sex before they're even 12.
Actually now that I think back to the 6th grade, I believe it. I remember 2 girls in my homeroom talking about their sexual escapades. I guess there was about 15 girls so 1 in 10 sounds correct. They used to get playboy bunny stickers and tan the logo onto themselves. They covered the bathroom mirrors with stickers and lipstick.
I know every older generation thinks the younger generation is morally declined. But can you imagine what it's going to be like in the future?
wow 1 in 10 under 12 thats crazy although in 6th grade two kids in my class of 24 had oral sex with each other and in 7th grade two kids i knew had sex with each other. after that i lost track of who was ->-bleeped-<-ing who the only reason i knew about the others is because they were the first people to be getting it on so it was talked about alot but i think my school had less of a problem then most.
also as for pregnancy it was rumored that a girl who was in 9th grade at the time had an abortion and another rumor about a guy in 10th grade i think getting a girl from another school pregnant.
Quote from: Cindy James on February 01, 2012, 03:50:56 AM
That is horrifying!
This may not equate to first periods, but I was sitting in my bedroom when I was about 10-11 whatever. Wearing my sisters clothes and feeling good. I knew nothing about sex (I'm old). I started to play with my hair and curl it etc, so I looked like me., trying make up, what we do!
I had an orgasm.
My dad had told me that boys had white stuff come out of their penises, and it was normal. I didn't know what he meant. My sister had explained periods to me and I had questioned my mother why mine hadn't started.
When I 'orgasmed' it was the most awful day.
I cried.
I honestly thought I was a girl and god would correct it.
No one should tell a 11yr old that she is a boy and its task is to be the man and father children. I wanted to have children. I pushed my dolly in the pram.
Sorry, I'm coming out of a black one and I need to keep going.
Hugs
Cindy
I'm going to leave it as I have had a massive GID attack and I do not want to re-trigger.
Hey Cindy you are loved and it's not fair what happened to you. I thought God would correct it for me too. I thought when I grew up I'd get a penis. I thought it would be okay, because nothing could ever go this terribly wrong, it was a simple mistake.
Regarding first periods, I got mine on an airplane coming home from England, and had no idea what was going on. I thought I'd pooped out the front. It was a little brownish. After getting home I changed my underwear and was utterly stunned when the next pair got dirty too. I asked my dad what to do, and lol he didn't have much more clue than I did.
Celebrating menstruation is like celebrating falling down stairs.
Quote from: Felix on February 01, 2012, 10:46:50 PM
Hey Cindy you are loved and it's not fair what happened to you. I thought God would correct it for me too. I thought when I grew up I'd get a penis. I thought it would be okay, because nothing could ever go this terribly wrong, it was a simple mistake.
Regarding first periods, I got mine on an airplane coming home from England, and had no idea what was going on. I thought I'd pooped out the front. It was a little brownish. After getting home I changed my underwear and was utterly stunned when the next pair got dirty too. I asked my dad what to do, and lol he didn't have much more clue than I did.
Well, if I start bleeding I will probably freak out, maybe even more so than some of you guys. Because this was never mentioned in all my reading about MtF's. I will be even more at a loss for words than you Felix.
BTW, what part of England did you go to?
And I've never heard the term 'Shark Week' before.
Quote from: Keaira on February 02, 2012, 01:40:20 AM
Well, if I start bleeding I will probably freak out, maybe even more so than some of you guys. Because this was never mentioned in all my reading about MtF's. I will be even more at a loss for words than you Felix.
BTW, what part of England did you go to?
And I've never heard the term 'Shark Week' before.
I went, um, to all the touristy places? I was the youngest one on the trip. I was a "student ambassador" for about a month, sponsored by Duke University. I stayed with a host family in London for a couple of weeks, spent a week with an Irish family in a less urban city, and did a lot of frenetic schedule-following and also a lot of aimless wandering in Scotland and Wales. I probably should have said UK, I guess.
Lol I love the term Shark Week. I hadn't heard it before coming here.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on February 02, 2012, 01:37:46 AM
Celebrating menstruation is like celebrating falling down stairs.
This made me choke and almost spit soup all over my keyboard. ;D
I always understood the reason why it might be celebrated in many cultures, as it's considered the age when a 'girl' comes into 'her' 'woman-hood' since it signifies the ability for that person to be able to bear children, but I am extremely glad that my parents never celebrated it. My mother did tell a few people, that many years ago, but there was no party or anything like that. I never saw it as anything important either, but that's just my personal experience; it was annoying and painful and an inconvenience, but I tried to go about my life as much as normal whenever that time comes around.
My daughter has had some spotting. No full-blown menstruation, but it's probably soon. I've been dealing with it like a practical issue, showing her American Girl books and anatomy textbooks, and making sure she has the right gear and knows how to use it. I assume that my not doing more than that is normal and not a function of my trans issues. I hope.
Quote from: Lukas-H on February 02, 2012, 02:47:55 AM
I always understood the reason why it might be celebrated in many cultures, as it's considered the age when a 'girl' comes into 'her' 'woman-hood' since it signifies the ability for that person to be able to bear children, but I am extremely glad that my parents never celebrated it. My mother did tell a few people, that many years ago, but there was no party or anything like that. I never saw it as anything important either, but that's just my personal experience; it was annoying and painful and an inconvenience, but I tried to go about my life as much as normal whenever that time comes around.
That's it though :( I hate the (obvious) associations with being a 'woman' and a 'girl'. Everyone sees me as a female because I have these bloody things and I get really dysphoric about not being seen as who I really am :(
(I don't think I'm explaining myself very well)
I dunno, thought more of you guys would understand how dysphoria inducing the 'womanhood' thing surrounding periods is :embarrassed:
(that's not me trying to start a fight!)
i'm guessing pretty much every trans guy understands the dysphoria surrounding it, it's unpleasant and a forced reminder of having the wrong body, so for us, celebrating it sounds horrific when all it does is make us feel like ->-bleeped-<-. but at the same time, becoming a woman has always been an important part of life and that's not going to go away, and it shouldn't- there's nothing wrong with people finding joy in their bodies, which is kind of what we're all aiming towards. if a cis female and their family are excited about her entering that stage of life and want to throw a party, more power to them... but our feelings of discontent also need to be recognised and respected. so i think what the guys here are saying is that they have the ability to recognise that social and cultural pride in woman, while also sympathising with how in themselves it induces dysphoria.
Quote from: El Capitan on February 02, 2012, 04:10:02 AM
That's it though :( I hate the (obvious) associations with being a 'woman' and a 'girl'. Everyone sees me as a female because I have these bloody things and I get really dysphoric about not being seen as who I really am :(
(I don't think I'm explaining myself very well)
I dunno, thought more of you guys would understand how dysphoria inducing the 'womanhood' thing surrounding periods is :embarrassed:
(that's not me trying to start a fight!)
I totally understand what you mean here. I understand the dysphoria part too, it really hits me hard sometimes. I only used the words in quotation marks because that's the general expectation, but as we all know, not every person who menstruates is a woman. I think schism said it better than me and I totally agree with his statement.
Quote from: El Capitan on February 02, 2012, 04:10:02 AM
I dunno, thought more of you guys would understand how dysphoria inducing the 'womanhood' thing surrounding periods is :embarrassed:
I think the subject drifted into the general celebration of periods and away from your original point that as a guy, it feels so out of place and wrong to you. That makes sense and as a guy, I empathize with you. I am under the impression that for the vast majority of FtMs, the periods lessen and ultimately end as you continue to take T, but maybe others can expound on that and the extent to which I may be mistaken. Also, I know many choose to get a hysterectomy at some point for health reasons even if the periods have stopped. Maybe that's an option to talk to your therapist about.
I think it's something you have to look forward to that they will stop one day. Until then, I think Margaret Cho had something to say about it. If you feel you can have a sense of humor about it until the day comes that they'll be over, click the links. If you think jokes about it will make you feel worse, don't click them (the 2nd ones a little dark to the tune of Cyanide & Happiness (http://www.explosm.net/), just a heads up). I just wanted to express my empathy for your situation and lighten your mood if that's possible.
Margaret Cho -- Notorious C.H.O Part 3/10 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuOikd5c8ho#)
http://imgur.com/iY3D6 (http://imgur.com/iY3D6)
Quote from: Renard on February 01, 2012, 10:22:21 AM
And out of curiosity, did any other guys hide/try to hide their period? Kreuz mentioned hiding his. I myself hid it for at least two-three months, if i recall correctly.
Yeah, I hid mine from my mum for a couple of months before she found out. When the topic came up with friends I would either not participate in the conversation or pretend I had some kind of problem and hadn't got it yet. IIRC, to this day I've never mentioned it to anyone besides my mum and this thread.
I was in a treatment centre for anorexia a few years ago, and one of the symptoms of anorexia is that you lose your period. They actually celebrated every time one of the girls got their period back. Nice thought, and all of the girls there were cis except for me, and I'm sure it was special to them to celebrate a sign that their health was returning, but I did NOT want to celebrate the return of mine.
I was so glad that mine stopped as soon as I started T. I had a dream that it came back last night, eugh, scary.
Quote from: Cindy James on February 01, 2012, 03:50:56 AM
Sorry, I'm coming out of a black one and I need to keep going.
((((Cindy))))
Celebrating periods! It was different in my grandmother's day, her generation born 1900. There was a class I was in back in 1970, called "Boys Social Problems", a one-semester easy credit. There was a film we saw about the emotional problems with menstruation. One was an old lady reminiscing about her first period and she went to her mother about it. Her mother didn't want anything to do to educate her about it. She had to learn to deal with it from her cousin. That still hurt her to her old age. That class I was in was quite progressive for that time. Even the different birth control products and methods were discussed. My teacher was a Jew married to a Lutheran and he also discussed the interfaith marriages and the intercultural ones as well. One of the better classes I attended.
Joelene