Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: UndercoverTurtle on February 10, 2012, 10:37:03 PM

Title: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: UndercoverTurtle on February 10, 2012, 10:37:03 PM
I've been begging my dad to take me to get a haircut for a few weeks, and my dad finally took me on Monday. He asked me why i wanted to cut my hair like a boys and I resisted answering for a few minutes before he finally asked "Is it because you think your a boy?" and i spilled it. But he already knew! Apparently he pays more attention to me then I thought, and im not nearly as good as hiding my internet use as i thought... oh well.

He is really supportive of me, and has only forgot a couple times. he keep saying that i looked really cute with my new haircut. which kinda made me want to just shave it all off. On Wednesday he was trying to get me to buy girls pants and said it was gross that i didn't shave because its not attractive on women -.-  he apologized with subway and new guy pants so its all right.

any way he wants me to take it slow so i can avoid discrimination, and just in case i change my mind i can go back easily. I'm ordering a binder soon, and he is going to take me to a gender therapist. I really wish i told him earlier!
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: caleb91 on February 10, 2012, 10:39:58 PM
that's awesome! :)
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: nickm1492 on February 10, 2012, 10:43:29 PM
Parents know so much more than we think they do. Whether it be something as serious as this, or something completely silly. This is so awesome! I hope everything continues going well for you! PS, I know how amazing that first true YOU haircut feels! Even the men's pants. Somehow, men's pants just feel so right!
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: supremecatoverlord on February 10, 2012, 10:48:47 PM
Quote from: UndercoverTurtle on February 10, 2012, 10:37:03 PM
...he finally asked "Is it because you think your a boy?"


Even if he's smart enough to ask something like this, enough so that you think he understands your situation, make sure he does entirely. As a transguy, it's not really that you think as a boy, but that you are one and that your body has always been working against you. I only say this because if your dad somehow still sees you as a girl just "thinks" she's a guy, your situation could be complicated further. I had an experience like this with my father and though he's totally accepting now, it did take a while until it actually "clicked" for him.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: Felix on February 10, 2012, 11:07:27 PM
Even with Jason's caveat, that's a pretty good reaction. I hope it continues to be calm and good. :)
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: King Malachite on February 10, 2012, 11:10:44 PM
That is good news!  It's awesome how he is trying to work with you and take it slow.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: Lee on February 11, 2012, 12:07:14 AM
NotSoUndercoverTurtle?  :P

Anyways, I'm glad it worked out well. 
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: insideontheoutside on February 11, 2012, 12:19:01 AM
Quote from: JasonRX on February 10, 2012, 10:48:47 PM
Even if he's smart enough to ask something like this, enough so that you think he understands your situation, make sure he does entirely. As a transguy, it's not really that you think as a boy, but that you are one and that your body has always been working against you. I only say this because if your dad somehow still sees you as a girl just "thinks" she's a guy, your situation could be complicated further. I had an experience like this with my father and though he's totally accepting now, it did take a while until it actually "clicked" for him.

I actually thought the same thing. When people ask, "you think you're a guy" a lot of times they're just patronizing you past that point. Like it's some phase you'll grow out of. Sure it's cool that he didn't freak out on your, etc. A lot of parent DO pay attention to their kids.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: UndercoverTurtle on February 11, 2012, 12:29:51 AM
when he said ""Is it because you think your a boy?" it was from a lack of better wording, and not wanted to say transgendered right away. he does get it, i made sure of that. Thanks for your guys concern about that,

@Lee "NotSoUndercoverTurtle?" hahaha! that made me laugh xD
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: Felix on February 11, 2012, 01:02:53 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sharingmachine.com%2Fprodimages%2Fturtle-150.gif&hash=0b4967957e1376b183a7717cebc5d7836edfae03)
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: N.Chaos on February 11, 2012, 02:24:27 PM
Quote from: UndercoverTurtle on February 11, 2012, 12:29:51 AM
when he said ""Is it because you think your a boy?" it was from a lack of better wording, and not wanted to say transgendered right away. he does get it, i made sure of that. Thanks for your guys concern about that,

@Lee "NotSoUndercoverTurtle?" hahaha! that made me laugh xD

I figured as much. Sounds like its going pretty good so far, always makes me happy when I see posts where someones' parent/parents are supportive, even if its just a little.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: Bird on February 11, 2012, 04:13:57 PM
This is great to read Turtle.

If he is being supportive, I'd say you could give him time to slowly adapt and understand the situation. Sometimes he will strumble until he gets it, but it is so important he is at least trying. Some parents are not willing to even try.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: MaxAloysius on February 12, 2012, 01:45:02 AM
Congrats dude! That's awesome! :)
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: justmeinoz on February 12, 2012, 04:32:54 AM
Congratulations to both of you.  Don't be too hard on him, he has thought of you as a girl all your life.
As a parent of a FtM son myself, I know it is a big re-adjustment.  Let him know he is not alone in all this. 

Karen.
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: Rock on February 12, 2012, 06:38:31 AM
Cool!!  It's awesome to hear when parents get it and are there to take the journey too.   ;D
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: justmeinoz on February 13, 2012, 05:49:06 AM
Don't forget to take him a beer when the football/hockey/baseball/cricket is starting on TV!  :D
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: GentlemanRDP on February 13, 2012, 09:18:04 AM
Congratulations!
I wish all parents were that cool and accepting!
Title: Re: turns out my dad knew .-.
Post by: JenJen2011 on February 13, 2012, 09:29:20 AM
I'm glad he's being supportive!