I'm in a really bad position right now. So the neighbor's kids behind me was harassing me after I told them to not play in my yard. The turned around and some kid yelled out "that's a women", needless to say they discussed whether or not im a women. For about 10 minutes the continuted yelling out "hey women, are you a women", "hey kid, are you a women?". so I got video of them harassing my dog as well, as well as playing in my yard.
My dad went over to take to the parents, he never defends me and just said that their kids were harassing me. So they came over and apologized and all turned to hell.
They gave me a card that say "sorry". I'm so pissed off, I turned to the mom who was on the side walk and said "you do relize your kids were sexually harassing me" and she defended her kids because they are in 2nd grade. Mind you I am a senior in highschool, they are being bullied by 2nd graders.
I lost it, and I mean lost it. I'm a extremely extremely quite person and I never speak my mind. I shouted at the top of my lungs at them. and the mom came charging at me.
For my entire life, I've dealt with being harassed and bullied on a daily biases non stop. Just last year I was sexually assaulted in the school hallway when some guy grabbed my pants to see if I had a penis or not. The school didn't care and actually turned it against me, saying that I was lying because they could identify that it happened on camera.....in an extremely crowded hallway.
I ran inside and my dad came back in later and said "you have no clue what you just did, you committed a crime and they can call the police on you".
If an adult sexually harassed me, the cops would be called on them. But nooo, when a 2nd grader does it to me, its my fault. I don't care how old they were, I can't stand being harassed anymore. No one EVER defends me and no one cares that it happens.
Currently I'm hiding out at my local starbucks, I grabbed my laptop and ran out the door.
I don't know what to do. I've never been in trouble before, and I can't stand being treated this way and have them get away with it, especially when it turns around on me. My mom who is the only person who defends me is not here until late tonight, and my dad gives no crap to what I go through. I can't even go home right now, and I only have three dollars on me.
I don't even know if they called the cops or not. Non of my friends will even let me hang out at their house for a while.
Edited personal info.
Hopefully there won't be any police involvement and everyone just learns how to deal with each other better. That's all I got, hugs, Devlyn
If all you did was yell at them, are you sure you committed a crime?
If there's ever a conflict, you as the (almost) adult are and will be seen as the responsible one. It does feel horrible to be treated badly by children, though.
There are few things as depressing as having something like that happen and being powerless to do anything about it. I can't imagine that yelling at kids is a crime - even if the mother tried that route, you have evidence that her kids are out of control. Just be careful in the future, mate - especially where minors are concerned.
It is very difficult to prove shouting at someone is harassment unless it is in a school room or workplace situation. I wouldn't worry about this. I really wouldn't. Police tend to be very lenient about this sort of 'interplay' between minors (that is not meant to be offensive BTW). So don't worry.
Hey besides you are with friends here.
Hugs
Cindy
bradlee
I won't go into the example you mentioned, because that would just seem to be belittling you. The last thing I would do is belittle you, especially for doing something I use to do myself.
You need to stop for a moment and think of what is really happening here.
The problem, from your description, is you are not getting support from your dad.
Now, you've got yourself into a twist here but facing up to it is going to be really difficult. You really didn't need to get into a twist over those kids. You really didn't need to get into a twist over the incident at school.
Think about it love, what is really happening is your space is being threatened. But why are you so insecure about your space?
Sadly, "It's for the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N" is so carried away here in the USA an adult yelling at a kid IS a crime if "they were scared". My wife was part of a jury in just such a case. Her head almost exploded hearing that it can be. Especially since "in our day" adults routinely yelled at kids and kids naturally were routinely scared, mostly that it would get back to mom or dad. And don't think for a moment that kids, especially teens, don't know how bullet proof they are. You are in a grey zone. This statute in NJ was a Class 2 Felony. I have no idea if that might qualify for charging you.
It seems these brats parents also knew how absurd the law can be. They refuse to take responsibility for their kids bad behavior. Perhaps even complicit by making comments at home about you which only encourages what the kids did. Technically parents can be charged for kids crimes but it never happens. BTW, my ex was a juvenile probation officer for an upscale NJ county. Years ago it was a horror story, even worse today.
My heart does go out for you. I hope things have calmed down. Like you I have taken relentless bullying to a point, then you just loose it and all hell breaks loose. High school is bad enough. When some little 2nd grade twerp is at it non-stop but you know you can't smash their head into the nearest locker, or tree, to learn them a lesson in manners, life is really hell.
Edited Bradlee's personal info.
Quote from: JoanneB on February 19, 2012, 07:16:56 AM
Sadly, "It's for the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N" is so carried away here in the USA an adult yelling at a kid IS a crime if "they were scared". My wife was part of a jury in just such a case. Her head almost exploded hearing that it can be. Especially since "in our day" adults routinely yelled at kids and kids naturally were routinely scared, mostly that it would get back to mom or dad. And don't think for a moment that kids, especially teens, don't know how bullet proof they are. At 17 you are in a grey zone. This statute in NJ was a Class 2 Felony. I have no idea if that might qualify for charging a 17 y/o as an adult.
It seems these brats parents also knew how absurd the law can be. They refuse to take responsibility for their kids bad behavior. Perhaps even complicit by making comments at home about you which only encourages what the kids did. Technically parents can be charged for kids crimes but it never happens. BTW, my ex was a juvenile probation officer for an upscale NJ county. Years ago it was a horror story, even worse today.
My heart does go out for you. I hope things have calmed down. Like you I have taken relentless bullying to a point, then you just loose it and all hell breaks loose. High school is bad enough. When some little 2nd grade twerp is at it non-stop but you know you can't smash their head into the nearest locker, or tree, to learn them a lesson in manners, life is really hell.
I feel like I have the worst of both worlds on this one. I spend a lot of time dealing with the social and legal ramifications of my daughter's behavior, and because of her behavior my parenting is under extremely intense scrutiny at all times. We both live under constant threat of police action.
Children can be Satan's little Imps. They are harder to cope with than teenagers in my opinion because they know that they can say and do what they like with so-called outsiders and 'misfits' and get away with it.
Of course having said that, a society where the children are seething little bags of anger resentment and animosity that society is rotten to the core. Children can be extremely honest and they see through all of our adult falseness and pretensions. It is when they realise that there is nothing they can do to change things and that they are destined to turn into their parents and other adults, that is when they turn hateful.
There are TWO types of people in civilised society. Those that turn their anger and resentment outwards on to society, and those who turn their self-contempt inward towards themselves.
this is me in my cop language....sorta retained from me since I left being a Police Officer.
I do not mean any disrespect when I say this and I only hope you don't take this the wrong way but here it goes:
If I was called to this dispute as a police officer, one of the first things I would do is split you and the mother of the 2nd graders apart.
The second step would be to talk to you first. The first thing I would mention is "These children are 6 and 7 years old. In a few months you will a legal adult. I understand that you felt that these children were sexually harassing you but they are 6 and 7 years old. They are at the age where they are genuinely curious if you are a man or a woman. I am not giving them an excuse nor am I saying it is ok what they did. At that age, they will be brutally honest because they have not developed social graces at that age to know if some of their comments can potentially harm someone....and they certainly weren't committing sexual harassment. However, you are at the age where can control lashing out on a child...especially of a child that isn't yours in front of their parent. One of the Parental protection laws embedded in legal guardians is that they have a right to protect their children from what they saw as a threat.
Furthermore, depending on what you said while you were screaming at the children, you could have been easily arrested for that.
Yelling at children will not get you arrested. However, if you said something remotely threatening, it is considered assault in the United States (that's if you live in the US). The legal definition in the US of assault is "An assault is carried out by a threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm. It is both a crime and a tort and, therefore, may result in either criminal or civil liability." Battery is the physical act of carrying out the assault.
So if you just yelled at them to leave you alone, then you're fine. Things may be difficult if you said anything that related to hurting them or similar.
The mother had every right to rush you. As a parent, I would have done the same thing. I probably would have called the police too...well...I am positive I would have called the police."
Then I would approach the neighbor and tell them to make sure their 2nd graders understand that it is not right for them to go into someone else's yard when the owner says not to. Also, I would tell the parent to make sure she sat down with the children and discuss how badly they can hurt someone else's feelings without them even knowing about it.
But yes, when it came to the 6 and 7 year olds, I think you over did it. I have a 4, 6, and 10 year old and they can say the damndest things without realizing it...and they don't have sexual harassment on the mind.
Also, the mother did give you a card apologizing. To me, that speaks volumes. Nobody these days will not only apologize but also give that person a card.
I am kinda surprised she did not call the cops...if I were you, I would call your dad to see if the police showed up or not. If they did, you need to go back and tell your side of the story and explain it as best you can to the police. Running when the police were called isn't a good idea.
I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. As a trans and a formal police officer, I am just giving you the legal side of things.
If this happened to one of my church members, I would encourage you and the mother to meet together in a neutral territory where neither of you will feel threatened. Then I would encourage you to say your side of the story and then encourage her to say her side. Be honest with each other without being threatening. Being angry is ok. Explain to her how the comments her children made hurt your feelings. I would encourage the mother to talk to her children about being more careful about saying certain things to people.
Then I would encourage you to talk to your father. You seem to be very angry and emotional and I don't think you losing your cool on the children was solely based on what the children said. You have a lot of hurt in your life and I would encourage you to seek someone who can help you put some things into perspective.
And another thing to others here. You do not know the mother's side of the story. Some of you automatically assumed she is a brat with brat children. As a Children's pastor one of the first things I discovered that some of the children's actions are not ALWAYS the parent's fault. That is a dangerous line of thinking. While it is very true that parents can shape and mold a child, you cannot blame a parent on everything their children said...other wise every parent on this planet would be considered bad parents. And from the story, she did come out of the house and apology as well as present an apology letter. To me, an apology card along with "I'm sorry" is so much more meaningful than saying "sorry."