Hey.
I'm a m2f individual of 21, Black, 6'0 tall with long feet and hands and I never liked those about myself. I never cared much about the being tall but now I'm starting to with the fact that men are generally taller than women. I mean, I know there are 6 ft (7 ft even) tall women but when I was younger I never liked being tall. I wanna be shorter but unfortunately that's not possible.
When I get the money, I'm getting my Adam's Apple shaved down and my body hair removed via electrolysis. Those are the only surgeries I wanted. I was going to get my penis removed and get a uterus implant (yes, I heard it has been done before) so I can actually have a baby but I'm leaving it because I do want to have a girlfriend at least. I know some would say that's hard for a m2f individual but there are women out there who like crossdressers. At the wedding, she's wearing the dress. I'M wearing the tux and I'm still a little willing to accept the role as her husband.
It's weird that I do want to be pregnant but I don't want to be a parent. It's too much work and responsibility. And I live by the constitution that if you even THINK you're not up for the responsibilities of having a baby, don't. I do however wanna don one of those phony, robotic babies that cry every now and then and sound realistic (as well as a phony belly and a maternity dress, of course).
I also plan to get my ears pierced so I can wear these cute Baby Phat earrings I found! Here they are: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_JzzJo8V05eQ/THFTAsrem9I/AAAAAAAAAUU/VRpStON-r28/s1600/Baby+Phat+Jewelry.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_JzzJo8V05eQ/THFTAsrem9I/AAAAAAAAAUU/VRpStON-r28/s1600/Baby+Phat+Jewelry.jpg)
I also wanted to get my chin pierced but I, as I never had a piercing before, could imagine the ears are pain enough so what I wanted to do was just make (or somehow acquire) a little silver ball and get some skin glue and put it on my chin that way. Then that way I can easily take it off and put it back on whenever I want to and there's no hole below my lip!
I just want to get in touch with the part of me that's both male AND female, because in fact I am (but slightly mostly female even that I was born male). The only male things about me are that I was born with XY chromosomes, I still have a penis, and I prefer women when it comes to a romantic relationship.
As far as my job goes, I work in a restaurant in a female-dominated workplace. Well, there are a few men that work there but it's mostly women, as well as my job coach. Last year when I was working there, we had these masks that women wear one Mardi Gras (with the feathers on the side) and I did the catwalk, and I gradually gave off signs that I'm effeminate. I eventually started wearing eye shadow and lip gloss to work and finally revealed to my 2 co-workers i"m closest with that I'm transgender.
God must've really put me in a nice place for me to reveal that to them, and my job coach. I'm not as afraid to reveal myself to my job (well, I'm not too comfortable telling this one guy I'm also close with but he and I are like buddies. And besides when I'm around other guys, I tend to like "man up". It's a nature thing.) as I once was. I don't think my boss, who by the way is a woman, knows yet if the other co-works didn't reveal me to her but I won't be surprised if she does. I think, even though i never told her, she has seen my eye shadow. She never said anything. And even if she does know about me, I'm sure she won't kick me out.
I really like my boss. She's really nice (a little too nice, I often think) and is an amazing person to work with. So though I don't plan in the near future to tell her about me being transgender, I won't panic or be surprised if she knows and doesn't terminate me because of it.
I want to change my name to Amber but that's not an androgyny name. I also want to call myself Ashley. That doesn't sound too much like a gender-neutral name either but I've actually heard of a guy named Ashley... and Courtney. My middle name is going to be Starr.
Without sugery, is there any possibly way to change my voice to female, or just take the bass out of it? But if it's a final resort and even if it costs me my voice (I'd rather have no voice than a man's anyhow) I will take the surgery. My voice does rather weird things. The louder I speak, the higher and more feminine the tone and pitch and the lower I speak the more manlier and deeper it is. UGH! I hate it.
I didn't think it was possible but I am amazed to discover that there are hormone pills and things of the like to change hip and butt width, breasts, and legs. I wanna have a thinner waist. It's already thin and feminine-looking but I wanna make even thinner. I REALLY want to have a huge bottom, as much as I want big boobs that is. I want my breasts to be G-sized. Right now, I'm taking breast enhancement pills, creams, and liquids. I know I sound like a 12 or 13 year-old girl but I'm already shopping for my first bra! I LOVE the underwire jasmine bras with the pretty embroidery and I want one! Well, I don't have breasts yet as today was my first day.
Soon enough, in probably April or May, my days of being ashamed of my chest will be OVER!
I am going to wear women's underwear, and sometimes even men's underwear (boxer briefs) because again, I'm both female AND male!
I'm moving into my new apartment that I just got not too long from now, I'm excited to say. Guess what? The landlady's a woman. When I spoke with her I used a feminine voice and sat in a likewise posture while I was in her office. Oh, AND she still wanted me as one of her tennetts! She seems to like me as well. I bring this up because a lot of landlords (male AND female) don't let transgender people rent their places. Mine did.
I didn't mean to write a novel or anything but thanks to the people who took out the time to read all this. I just wanted to express myself and explain what I wanted to do and things like that.
Hi PinkDiamond,
Welcome and some rules to live by
Hi, and welcome to Susan's! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way
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Sadly there is no valid evidence of successful uterine transplantation into an MtF. There are a few cases of successful uterine transplant into natal females. The ONE I'm aware of was a mother to daughter with an identical HLA match (tissue typing).
There is nothing wrong in being tall, and there are many very beautiful tall black female models. I think Tyra is over six foot, and she is a total doll.
I think you need to get to a therapist and to start talking and then progress forwards.
Hugs
Cindy
I don't mean to burst your bubble but I have never heard of a uterus transplant or a mtf ever being able to get pregnant. Your breast size (after you've been on hormones awhile) will be determined by genetics. It's unlikely you'll have g size boobs without implants. Taking breast enhancement pills will not provide much of a change in your breast size if any. But all the rest you wrote about sounds awesome. It's great that you have an understanding GF and you're already out at work. It sounds like your co-workers are supportive too. That's wonderful! I hope your transition goes well.
P.S. If I had a vote I like Ashley.
Ugh, I guess the breast augmentation is my last resort then!