I don't know exactly where to start here, except to say, that at rather late stage of my life, a little over 2 years in my transition, I am forced financially to find a new job. This is something that earlier on, would not have been such a big deal. I would simply slip into a jacket and tie, maybe get a new haircut, and go out confident that I would have the ability to impress someone enough to land a new job.
Now, here I am, half way through my 50's, over 2 years into transition, long hair (brushing my shoulders), earrings, and absolutely in need of a job that pays the bills. What I'm doing now no longer cuts it. Business has diminished to less than a subsistence level, and now, I'm no longer the cockey, self-assured person I was. I can't move, I can't work too far from home, and too many people know me as (male name).
When I'm away from work, and in jeans and a tee shirt, or sweater, about half the people who don't know me, call me "maam", or "ladies", when my wife and I are together. The other half that don't know me either pay no attention, or scrutinize me more carefully, trying to guage my gender.
I have my old driver's license, but planned on a new one this fall, with a gender and name change. I never planned on changing my social security or birth certificate. My past is actually very important to me, even today, as a woman.
I'm doing some interviewing next week, and for the first time just seem stuck not knowing what to do. I find GIVING advice to other people much easier than giving it to myself.
Okay, so anyway, I'm going to an interview, hair over my shoulders, earrings, sport jacket, male-ish voice, woman-ish mannerisms (unless I make a conscious effort not to), id's that don't match my appearance.
I'm just........stuck. :(
Bev
I don't know how much help I can be here, but I'll give it a shot. In my admittedly limited experience, mostly in New York City, about thirty years younger and looking at tech jobs, what matters most to an employer are that you're a good fit for the job, and that you get along comfortably with your potential co-workers. When things of a more personal nature have come up for me at work, it's basically been either curiousity or my employer wanting to make sure they could depend on me, that I was a together person and would continue to do my job well. From what I understand of the modern job market, you may have a harder time overcoming age related descrimination than any related to your (trans)gender(ness). That said, if the job you're looking for is very much customer facing, it could be a lot more hit or miss, and I can't entirely fault employers for not wanting to hire someone who they feel would make their customers uncomfortable - it's a social problem at it's root.
Keep in mind too that you may not need to reveal your status to your interviewer or potential co-workers - generally the person or people in HR are the only ones that are going to need to know, if that's a route you want to go. In my life at least, a little patience, willingness to talk in a limited fashion about my transgenderedness, and not letting my transgendered nature dominate who I am has gone a long way to keeping things from getting hostile. Then again, I've also probably been unnaturally lucky; From what I read, too many transfolk have suffered under similar circumstances.
I guess my advice boils down to this: Don't alet your trans* nature become a big part of getting a job, and it probably will stay a minor issue. Good luck with the job hunt!
Well, I don't feel so stuck as I did yesterday. I had a meeting with a prospective employer today, and it could not have gone better. Granted, she is someone I knew from a previous job, but it was a wonderful, happy reunion of sorts. She loves my hair, earrings....things that had worried me. She thought I looked great, and insisted I not cut, trim, or otherwise change my hair. Though she had nothing in her own branch, she would happily support me for a management position anywhere in the company there was an opening, and insisted that I use her as a reference. Here, the age issue is in my favor. They seem to prefer seasoned, older managers.
Great meeting, wonderful, warm hugs, and renewed friendship, and potential for the future. I feel like I have my head back on straight enough now to make a strong start. I think I'm feeling some better, now.
don't say anything to them until they ask. if they ask, sometimes telling the truth works. most employers understand that you wanna be hired because of your qualifications and not because of your genitals.
Quote from: Katia on March 24, 2007, 11:47:02 PM
don't say anything to them until they ask. if they ask, sometimes telling the truth works. most employers understand that you wanna be hired because of your qualifications and not because of your genitals.
Good advice, Katia. Thanks. I think you're right. No need to discuss anything unless they bring it up.
Bev