Hey guys,I have a question for those who are still in high school.Do you change your clothes in boys lockeroom on gym?I dress in girl's but would like to in boys,only I'm scared what other guys and the teacher will say.How do you deal with that?
Quote from: Mihael222 on March 05, 2012, 02:17:48 PM
Hey guys,I have a question for those who are still in high school.Do you change your clothes in boys lockeroom on gym?I dress in girl's but would like to in boys,only I'm scared what other guys and the teacher will say.How do you deal with that?
Do you present as male and pass?
If not, you may want to have a discussion with the school before you start your social transition there - just to avoid any misconceptions.
I am not in high school here any longer, but I know a couple of people who are and use the men's facilities.
Conformer is one good example and if he posts here, I'm sure he will be helpful. He is also on testosterone.
I present as female.The problem is mom forbids me to have the social transition at school,especially the boys lockeroom.I don't know what to do.I would like to just dress with guys,but I would not want the school calls mom and tells her that I did that.I'd be in BIG trouble.What should I do?I hope that maybe the teacher will just say I can dress with the guys or not say anything at all,but if he mentions it to my pricipal she'll definetely call mom.Maybe no one would make a big deal out of it,so I asked here If someone has experiences with that.
not been through this but if u are present as female like JasonRX have said, i think it best if u had a word with the teacher that u dont feel comfortable getting chagned with the girls, but u said u present as a female it not safe to go in with the boys yet and see if u can have a room to your self to get changed into maybe.
I use the guys locker room at school, I had some problems, but I called some legal groups and got it straightened out.
I'm going to do this in steps
Step One
As Jason said, it's a couple of questions first. .
1.) Do you present and pass as male?
2.) Are you out at school or stealth and are the other guys comfortable with that?
The first question is for sort of obvious reasons and the second kinda piggy-backs it. By piggy back I mean, if you present and pass as male and the other guys are comfortable with it then cool, move on to step 2. If you don't pass as male, and/or if the other guys aren't comfortable with it (assuming you're not stealth) then there's going to be a problem. They'd probably spazz out and draw unwanted attention and all of that with your mom that you don't want to happen will probably happen =/.
Step Two
Assuming you live in America . . check here to see if your city/state covers you as far as public accommodations http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/ngltftlpichart.pdf (http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/ngltftlpichart.pdf) . If they do and you pass/the other guys are comfortable/cool with you or you're stealth (you already said you're not) then you're good to go. If your teacher says anything, have a copy of that printed out and tell him that you are legally allowed to use that locker room, etc.
* If your city/state does not protect you legally, then you pretty much will have to talk to your principal and hopefully she'll let you use the guy's locker room. Or just go and use it and hope no one spazzes or makes a big deal.
*If you don't live in the US, then look up laws in your country.
Really, if you're transitioning in high school you NEED your parent's support simply because people are jerks and will try to give you problems with simple stuff like using the locker room. Or if you have some type of LGBT group in your school, talk to them and see if they can help you out. Otherwise, I hate to tell you . . you're going to have a hell of a hard time without some type of support.
It's really messed up the stuff we have to go through, but that's the reality of being trans for the most part. . =/
Mihael222, are you seen as one of the guys at school? Are you using men's restrooms with no problem? If you are, ask the instructor if you can this will make it very unlikely that your mom will be called.
Quote from: Mihael222 on March 05, 2012, 02:38:13 PM
I present as female.The problem is mom forbids me to have the social transition at school,especially the boys lockeroom.I don't know what to do.I would like to just dress with guys,but I would not want the school calls mom and tells her that I did that.I'd be in BIG trouble.What should I do?I hope that maybe the teacher will just say I can dress with the guys or not say anything at all,but if he mentions it to my pricipal she'll definetely call mom.Maybe no one would make a big deal out of it,so I asked here If someone has experiences with that.
If you present as female, and your mom forbids social transition at school, then there is not much you can do about it, imo.
There is no way the teachers are going to let you dress with the guys if you are still going to school as female.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 05, 2012, 05:59:22 PM
If you present as female, and your mom forbids social transition at school, then there is not much you can do about it, imo.
There is no way the teachers are going to let you dress with the guys if you are still going to school as female.
^ This
Unfortunately, that's the way it goes. But if you're uncomfortable dressing out with the girls, perhaps talk to your school's nurse and gym teacher about using the bathroom to change out in? It's not quite the men's locker room, but it's something.
There is no way mom is going to support me on this.She just doesn't want troubles.Probably I'll just keep dressing with the girls.There is no lgbt groups in my school.Plus the problem is my principal wanted to kick me out last year because I had some social problems and wasn't vrilly good on my practice(in hospital).Now I'm better and she doesn't have any problems with me but if this comes up it could be troubles.None of my teachers know I'm transgendered.I told some students,that's it.Also,I don't live in America and this kind of stuff isn't normal in my area.
Quote from: Mihael222 on March 06, 2012, 05:09:19 AM
There is no way mom is going to support me on this.She just doesn't want troubles.Probably I'll just keep dressing with the girls.There is no lgbt groups in my school.Plus the problem is my principal wanted to kick me out last year because I had some social problems and wasn't vrilly good on my practice(in hospital).Now I'm better and she doesn't have any problems with me but if this comes up it could be troubles.None of my teachers know I'm transgendered.I told some students,that's it.Also,I don't live in America and this kind of stuff isn't normal in my area.
I know how you feel, believe me. I'm in the same boat as you when it comes to the locker rooms, teachers not knowing (well, that's somewhat true because I did tell my English teacher), and my mom not supporting. I know that it sucks to change with the girls for PE class. Hell, I hate it so much that I've only been prepared to gym for two classes this quarter. Now, please don't do what I do because if your school is like mine you'd have to take two PE classes next year, and it's not a smart thing to do in general. But I do feel your pain, mate.
Also maybe my experience is a little more different than yours on the fact that I live in America, but I'm not sure. Anyway, there's a few things you can do to help lessen the pain of PE, like change in the bathroom stalls. That's what I did for the two whole classes out of like 10 that I went too, and when I go into the locker room I just look down and ignore what's going in.
Most schools don't allow transmen to dress in the boy's locker room, because of physical differences and social problems. I had to dress in the girl's locker room for all four years of PE (Junior high and first two years of HS), and I absolutely hated it, but I just had to deal with it and dream of the day when I no longer had PE. When that last day came, I slammed my PE clothes into the donation pile and ran out the door cheering. :P
Quote from: Dante on March 06, 2012, 09:39:58 PM
Most schools don't allow transmen to dress in the boy's locker room, because of physical differences and social problems. I had to dress in the girl's locker room for all four years of PE (Junior high and first two years of HS), and I absolutely hated it, but I just had to deal with it and dream of the day when I no longer had PE. When that last day came, I slammed my PE clothes into the donation pile and ran out the door cheering. :P
Actually I'm pretty sure it depends on whether or not said individual is out and living full-time as their identified gender. If you're passing to all of your classmates, they aren't going to discriminate and shove you into a female's locker room. That has the potential to become dangerous at a school. Most schools will have to abide by parent's wishes or suffer consequences in pretty much every state. Even those states that don't particularly HAVE laws that protect the LBGT community, it still has the potential to stir up a large publicity mess that they may not want. If you have your parents on your side, all you need to do is speak with the appropriate people at the school and most places will be accepting and keep your birth sex confidential.
Most places these days have stalls for changing in in every locker room anyways for privacy.
However, the OP is living as a female. That is where the sole problem lies. He does not have his mother on board, so why would the school be on board? If his mother was on board then he wouldnt be living as a female, I'm sure. Basically he is going to have to do what you did in this case - and suck it up. There's nothing the school can do if they have only ever known you as a female. I mean what if someone did NOT have GID and merely wanted to change with the opposite sex for very different reasons? They have no idea what your intentions are because you aren't OUT and you aren't living as a male fulltime.
Quote from: stiltsk on March 06, 2012, 09:55:12 PM
Actually I'm pretty sure it depends on whether or not said individual is out and living full-time as their identified gender. If you're passing to all of your classmates, they aren't going to discriminate and shove you into a female's locker room. That has the potential to become dangerous at a school. Most schools will have to abide by parent's wishes or suffer consequences in pretty much every state. Even those states that don't particularly HAVE laws that protect the LBGT community, it still has the potential to stir up a large publicity mess that they may not want. If you have your parents on your side, all you need to do is speak with the appropriate people at the school and most places will be accepting and keep your birth sex confidential.
Most places these days have stalls for changing in in every locker room anyways for privacy.
I could see that being true, but I don't think they'd do it here. If anything, the trans kid would change in the staff bathroom or something. And we don't have any private stalls--we have showers and bathroom stalls in the locker rooms, but you're not allowed to change in there.
Talk with your guidance councilor. It was a big step for me, and having an adult on your side is really great. If they're a cool person, you might get a pass to use the male bathrooms/ locker rooms. Or, alternatively, you could get a key to the male staff bathrooms (just don't leave your feminine products in the trash- ever). As for a locker room with your peers, well if you're presenting as female than that would be weird. You might get picked on/ called out, which is never fun. I'd shoot for the male staff bathrooms. Get a pass laminated and put it with your school ID or in your wallet if anyone ever questions you.
Good luck!
i used to change in the girls but i change in the health office now they wont let me change in the boys.
Quote from: anibioman on March 11, 2012, 05:41:24 PM
i used to change in the girls but i change in the health office now they wont let me change in the boys.
Yeah I doubt they'll let you change in the boy's because you're not presenting as male, but if you came out to some of the office and higher ups, you might be able to get a half way point like this, that doesn't come with all the ->-bleeped-<-tyness of getting undressed with a bunch of girls around, and being grouped as one of them. You might get a gender neutral bathroom, the nurses room, or somewhere else, and you'll probably get a set up where you'll leave your clothes somewhere secure.
Quote from: Bradd on March 11, 2012, 05:48:31 PM
Yeah I doubt they'll let you change in the boy's because you're not presenting as male, but if you came out to some of the office and higher ups, you might be able to get a half way point like this, that doesn't come with all the ->-bleeped-<-tyness of getting undressed with a bunch of girls around, and being grouped as one of them. You might get a gender neutral bathroom, the nurses room, or somewhere else, and you'll probably get a set up where you'll leave your clothes somewhere secure.
Actually...I'm pretty sure he's actually presenting as male as in several posts he claims to be stealth at his school. He doesn't mention how long ago he changed in the girls, but it could have been before starting high school and that would make more sense as why no one knows he is a technically biologically female except for the board of education. This is what I believe to be his scenario, that the school is uncomfortable with him changing in the male facilities and he just shrugs their protests off, because it doesn't matter to him that much. Perhaps he's just glad he doesn't have to change in the female facilities anymore.
Quote from: Mihael222 on March 05, 2012, 02:38:13 PM
I present as female.The problem is mom forbids me to have the social transition at school,especially the boys lockeroom.
No, he presents as female. Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
Hmm I used ani's quote just to say that that might be a scenario the OP might get. I get see how that'd be confusing.
Quote from: Bradd on March 11, 2012, 05:57:08 PM
No, he presents as female. Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
Hmm I used ani's quote just to say that that might be a scenario the OP might get. I get see how that'd be confusing.
anibioman?
yeah. :| I fail at foruming today.
The post was to OP, but I used anibioman's quote to kind of like give an example.
Quote from: Bradd on March 11, 2012, 05:59:55 PM
yeah. :| I fail at foruming today.
The post was to OP, but I used anibioman's quote to kind of like give an example.
Lol.
It's okay.
No worries, dude.
You just confused me there for a second.
:)
I always changed in the boys' bathroom. Single stall. But I only had one semester of PE, and after that the principal was afraid I'd get raped or something. I'm supposed to use the one unisex bathroom all the way across campus, but screw that...
Is there a chance you could change in a bathroom before class? Or use a unisex bathroom/office/etc, saying you're not comfortable changing with the girls? (You are not likely to be let to change with the other guys due to no parental support, being in the closet, and physical differences.)