So this girl from school just messaged me wanting to hook up. I have to reject her for obvious reasons. It's not about her, it's the fact that my body doesn't allow me to be sexual with anyone. Obviously I don't want to tell her this, but I also don't wanna be a dick about it or things awkward.
Is this possible?
tell her that you're really appreciating having her in your life and you don't want to jeapordise your friendship by making it anything more right now. yeah, it's a wordier version of 'i just want to be friends' but it's the truth and it's letting her know that you value her company.
I don't think its right to assume that she wants to have sex with you in any case, to be totally honest, you should take this really slow, if you haven't actually started any dating yet, there is no telling it would even lead to sex at all, she might not feel its right for her either ? Well of course you can't either, but just don't assume "everything" leads to sex. LOL - sorry, but you should actually GET to know her FIRST ! text messages are one thing, one to one - face to face is another.. No offence intended.. At least like ALL men you think life evolves around sex though (mean this as a compliment) really just get to know her a little, it might turn out you just become good friends anyway. :p
Catherine. x
Say no. Lol.
It's happened to me every now and then, im alive now.
I agree.
Sort of, "any other time I would absolutely say yes because I really like you, but I am just not comfortable with any sexual relationship right now for a whole bunch of reasons." How she takes it is up to her really.
Karen.
When she said "I want to hook up" with you, how is THAT a reference to wanting sex - just wondering ? :D Its like "hang out" with you, etc., no where is she ASKING for sex. Not sure anyone has read what the Op actually wrote here. :/ You can't assume that she wants sex with him, any more than she wants to hook up and be friends with him TBH.
Quote from: Kitty_Babe on March 07, 2012, 04:47:15 AM
When she said "I want to hook up" with you, how is THAT a reference to wanting sex - just wondering ? :D Its like "hang out" with you, etc., no where is she ASKING for sex. Not sure anyone has read what the Op actually wrote here. :/ You can't assume that she wants sex with him, any more than she wants to hook up and be friends with him TBH.
Looool that's what hook up means, maybe?
Young peeple talk.
No, she didn't say it in those words. I phrased it as "hook up" because profanity isn't allowed on here.
I realize that the term has multiple meanings and I should have been more specific.
Yeah I don't need a dictionary to know what the term "hook up" means .. :laugh:
PM me what she actually said, I can maybe give you a BETTER answer then ;)
Catherine x
Quote from: Kitty_Babe on March 07, 2012, 04:58:41 AM
Yeah I don't need a dictionary to know what the term "hook up" means .. :laugh:
PM me what she actually said, I can maybe give you a BETTER answer then ;)
Catherine x
Sent ~
Quote from: Beverley on March 07, 2012, 05:22:32 AM
Of course it is possible. Just say 'No thanks' and leave it at that.
Beverley
+1
Quote from: Beverley on March 07, 2012, 05:22:32 AM
Of course it is possible. Just say 'No thanks' and leave it at that.
Beverley
Aight. I just don't want it to be awkward next time I see her in class. Would that work? And knowing that I'll have to reject people like this my entire life.... gotta find out how to do it.
Are you asking for a lie or an excuse? Huge difference.
Any excuse will work, because all excuses are just that, and being just that, are lame.
Lies only work when you get yourself to believe them first. That's how really good liars lie really good - they believe it.
Give her every signal that you really want to, but be sure to talk about all the strange sexual practices you're into. That works sometimes, however when it backfires - you pick things that she's secretly into also - it really backfires.
Or talk a lot about serial killers and how you in some ways really admire them, things like their planning and level of dedication. Desperate yes, but highly effective. Bonus is that in order to pull it off you have to research serial killers and that's pretty trippy stuff. Downside is that people start seeing you as a psycho.
How do the other guys on your dorm floor or frat tell you to do it? What's the secret 'guy advice' way to blow some chick off? How do you do that without either a lie or an excuse?
You play it cool boy, real cool. Beyond cool. Cold. (Like it doesn't matter and like you don't care). Of course she wants to have sex with you. What chick doesn't? So if you got all the girls in the world after you, you don't have to be in any rush to do any of them - all good things in all good time. The key to this is making sure she dead-to-rights knows that you absolutely don't care much one way or the other. Just keep thinking (and make no secret that you are thinking it all the time): "Sure baby, we'll get around to it but what are you going to do for me first?" I will guarantee you that attitude will prevent any guy who is not Brad Pitt or George Clooney from getting laid. It's about constructing a backdrop that what guides your thinking and your sexual choices is: Of course she wants me - everyone does, but is she really good enough for me - and damn few are --- and really I'm not all that into getting tangled up in any of that needy relationship bull->-bleeped-<- at this point of my life anyway, I really dig my freedom. And then making sure she knows that's what you're thinking and how you're evaluating romantic potential (use the words 'golddigger' and 'needy/clingy/suffocating' when talking about women/relationships). Talk a lot about the petty negative features that 'really turn you off' of highly desirable women. Pretty much that stuff will kill every romantic notion known to women in about 1.3 seconds once they see it.
Or just tell her that you think her mom is the first real MILF you've ever seen. That one is damn near foolproof.
Hey now, I really do admire serial killers.
Maybe thats why I dont have friends.
Quote from: JoeyD on March 07, 2012, 06:17:39 AM
Hey now, I really do admire serial killers.
Maybe thats why I dont have friends.
You're too funny, Joey.
Quote from: poptart on March 07, 2012, 05:40:24 AM
Aight. I just don't want it to be awkward next time I see her in class. Would that work? And knowing that I'll have to reject people like this my entire life.... gotta find out how to do it.
I just gotta say, that type of life can get real lonely ... seriously ... that's pretty much the exact words I would have used many years ago ... that it was just my lot in life to reject people sexually. And I got very good at it.
The thing you should be open-minded to, is finding someone who would accept you as you - current body, issues, everything. But if you're legit interested in someone, you have to be up front about your situation and your feelings because otherwise you're not giving them the whole picture and allowing them to see who you really are.
If you're not interested in this chick at all, just say you're not. Don't have to have some lengthy explanation about it.