This is my first post and I'm sure this has been asked before. I have spent hours searching for information regarding personal experiences with the effects HRT has on the sex life. I'm currently married with a supporting wife. I have been going out in public for over a year dressed as a women. I have been going to my therapy for 3 months about once a week. I'm MTF transgender. I have been through several laser treatments for my beard. I start my HRT on March 22. So I'm on track with my goal. But my wife is a very sexual person and she is a bit worried that my
penis will stop working as far as erections. She knows its gonna get smaller and she is fine with that, but how many people here have lost all use due to HRT? how many have had no change at all?
My advice is if erections are important to you, you should not start hormones. No one can gaurantee you that they won't get harder to achieve and eventually impossible. After all, that is the purpose of taking female hormones, to become as much of a woman as you can.
Kiss them good bye
Mine aren't very firm after 6 months, it curves downward and is a lil painful if I do anything beyond minor touching. My ejaculation ... is non existant. You may want to bank sperm if you're looking to have kids one day because you'll probably be permanently sterile after 6 months.
I'm glad I'm strictly into men and a bottom only, with no desire for anybody to even acknowledge my penis, or I'd be in trouble huh? :P
Quote from: Sarah Louise on March 08, 2012, 04:10:11 PM
After all, that is the purpose of taking female hormones, to become as much of a woman as you can.
Shoot.. some days I get on here and wonder if the real purpose is to just have boobies to look at when your gf / wife gets mad at you :P
Quote from: Joana25 on March 08, 2012, 03:58:33 PM
But my wife is a very sexual person and she is a bit worried that my
penis will stop working as far as erections. She knows its gonna get smaller and she is fine with that, but how many people here have lost all use due to HRT? how many have had no change at all?
Even if that part doesn't work there are alternatives, but for a lot of us I suspect the mental dissonance ensures that HRT cripples it.
Do you plan SRS/GRS/GCS? If so what does your wife think of that?
Joana, don't let people make you feel ashamed because you want to keep your erections. Now having said that, I've been on HRT for 6 years and have had no problem getting an erection. So, it is definitely possible for you to be on hormones long term and still be able to please your wife. Your doctor should start you on the lowest dose anyway so as it increases, you'll be able to see how much it's effecting you.
I've been on hormones for 15 months... and my erectile ability remains mostly the same. It's not quite as easy as it used to be, but the difference is quite minor, and the size of which is not depreciated significantly.
:) Sometimes you lose it, sometimes you don't. It's a gamble. I'd rather be without mine, but I don't mind too much; at least I don't get them randomly.
Thanks for all the differant views on this subject. It's more helpful than a DR.....LOL. since you are all on HRT. Not some DR that's tells me "well you might lose it or it might be OK. we will have to wait and see." For me it's still important that I'm able to please my wife sexually. I don't really mind having a penis, other than tucking it sucks, and that fact that I was born with the wrong genitals. But sex is important to me where as other it's not that important. I'm just being honest so that I can get the best view for all of you. :-\ but I don't really have any plans for SRS/GRS/GCS as of yet, but I guess if the little guy stop working then GREEN light SRS.......That was what my wife just said.... :o
Your doctor's right. We know the general trends, but the only way to know whether it will work out that way for you is to try it. Luckily, HRT isn't an all or nothing thing. Your doctor should have several low-risk options for "trial" HRT just to suss out issues like this. You can choose from lots of formulations of lots of hormones, and they'll all have different effects on you.
For my own part, I've been on HRT, but not for all that long. I currently have little issue getting and maintaining voluntary erections. I have little problem ejaculating, even. What disappeared for me were the for-no-reason-at-all spontaneous erections and the morning wood. For the longest time, I thought this meant my testosterone was way too high. Well, I just got my bloodwork results back a week ago; turns out my testosterone was at 8 ng/dL--well below "normal adult female" range!
Again, the only way to truly know is to try.
it's not the physical effects of the hormones you have to worry about its the psychological as the hormones may convince you that sex with your penis is wrong...and everyone knows that on some occasions a man just can't get an erection on demand so this may happen more until it becomes a problem for your wife.
you have no guarantees on what the effects of the hormones will be after a few months or a year.
keep us informed.
I will keep all of you updated...on how it works out, eitherway i'm moving forward with HRT. I think the last comment has a good point, "will sex with my penis be wrong mentally after HRT" it's gonna be interesting to see the effects HRT will have on me both physical and mental.
You may find that your erogenous zones "remap" so that the whole genital area becomes more sensitive, but the glans itself gets less sensitive. That, and the, well, I don't know what better to call it than the "feminising" of one's sexuality on hormones, can change your relationship with sex, so it's less easy to get turned on, but more powerful when you do :). There seem to be so many variations on the theme, expect the unexpected - and (whisper it) there's always viagra...
The one thing you can be sure of is that hormones will change you, and both you and your wife will have to negotiate that change, whatever it is - and keep negotiating it. Bon voyage.
My experience has been that sex, arousal, masturbation - the whole kitten kaboodle - has gotten better. I'm able to obtain and maintain an erection better now than before HRT. I'm like a freakin unicorn when it comes to that - so YMMV. Arousal takes longer and more foreplay is necessary(even during solo sex!), but it's totally worth it. Everything feels STRONGER now, more vibrant, more satisfying. I think it has to do with my psych matching up with the feedback that I get from my body - I FEEL like a woman now rather just KNOWING for I'm supposed to be feeling, and being disappointed that I don't. I've also found that fantasy and emotion and tenderness and romance and demonstrated affection and mood play larger roles in the necessities for my arousal.
Like many girls have said, you need to plan for the worst and hope for the best. Going into HRT, I accepted that I may lose the ability to gain an erection, and that I would need to find other ways to get myself off. Prostate stimulation seems to be preferred by many transgirls. It's true that the whole area has become more sensitive for me - when I got everything rocking, it's amazing. ^_^
There are alternatives if you lose the ability to maintain an erection - viagra, toys, and strap-ons being some of them. :) I wish you and your wife the best!
Quote from: Joana25 on March 08, 2012, 03:58:33 PM
This is my first post and I'm sure this has been asked before. I have spent hours searching for information regarding personal experiences with the effects HRT has on the sex life. I'm currently married with a supporting wife. I have been going out in public for over a year dressed as a women. I have been going to my therapy for 3 months about once a week. I'm MTF transgender. I have been through several laser treatments for my beard. I start my HRT on March 22. So I'm on track with my goal. But my wife is a very sexual person and she is a bit worried that my
penis will stop working as far as erections. She knows its gonna get smaller and she is fine with that, but how many people here have lost all use due to HRT? how many have had no change at all?
Quote from: Sarah Louise on March 08, 2012, 04:10:11 PM
My advice is if erections are important to you, you should not start hormones. No one can gaurantee you that they won't get harder to achieve and eventually impossible. After all, that is the purpose of taking female hormones, to become as much of a woman as you can.
Gonna' have to agree with this.
Can't give a solid answer on the question. An erection would make me want to grab a knife and slice the nasty thing off.
but nonetheless, my doctor did talk to me about it and said that for those who do wish to be sexually active even after HRT that he gives them a lower dosage.
So I suppose if it becomes a problem you could see about cutting the amounts down.
If this isn't about you and strictly what your wife wants then tell her to get a dildo.
Quote from: Emmy on March 14, 2012, 06:46:54 PM
If this isn't about you and strictly what your wife wants then tell her to get a dildo.
haha... lovely
Cuz hey, she's gonna have to "learn" to be bi / lesbian anyways I'd imagine, if she's not bi :P
I just started HRT (Spiro in Jan. and Estrofem 2 days ago) so I can't be of much help. But I have a friend that has been on HRT for about 2 years and has not lost function. She mentioned that for a while it was difficult for her to function, but then her body adapted so to speak and now is ok.
Yeah my little monster is more for her then me. I just wanna keep her happy too but to tell the truth i'm thinking I want SRS... Anyways... But untill that day comes I gotta use my little monster to keep her sexual appetite at bay. I swear shes has a mans sex drive.. I start next week on HRT then its a long road ahead. Im still gonna keep everyone updated on how long it works or doesnt.
I do not have an issue with erections as many have stated. I think the most important sex organ is your brain. After all , isn't the brain the one that tells us we are also women? Meaning that, for some, it might be that they associate being women with NOT having a penis or an erection. The brain "hears" this, and it begins to shut itself down in that department. Hmmm, not sure if I made myself clear.
I am predominantly (although I say I'm bi too) a lesbian. I love my spouse and she is amazing in bed. Like some lesbians, we enjoy dlidos (Not sure if I can say that here). I look at it as having a built in one, so it comes in handy when I am making my partner happy. Does it get in the way of things in my head?.... sometimes....sure it does! But, rather than go nuts because I have one at this moment, I try to find the right perspective to take and THAT seems to help my penis issues out. My orgasms are amazing!!! And yes, like many girls on here say, they are FABULOUS!! So, if you do have a penis, and it is treating you well, enjoy it. Let it give you the pleasure you need. Then, if you are ready to take another step by having SRS you can figure things out later...if you do want SRS. Some people don't feel it's that needed. Don't let your penis define who you are. I don't.
Ok this is an update on this topic i started 2 months ago. So far I have had fast results on HRT its been amazing how much its effected my body. So far I have breast groth, loss of muscle mass, soft looking skin, my penis and balls are shrinking rapidly. I dont get erection at all anymore, when me and my wife try and have sex it takes alot of foreplay just to get a chubby. Then we try and have sex with my little guy and bam!!! It just get limp quick. So for me i guess I got my answer to my question. My Endo has me on an agressive dose of HRT and I really like his approach and im gonna say on HRT because Im liking these results, i can only emagine where I will be at 6 months or a year. So being a very sexual person all my life and pretty much having sex with my wife 4-5 times a week to nothing now has been a hard on me mentally but i did know this could happen.. So just an update to all of you that posted now you know how it went. But the positve is that my body changing result are moving so fast I never would have thought that much would happen. So I would say I have gained alot and lost a little, for my results.
If you remove T blockers you should be able to perform for a while but secondary feminizing characteristics are slowed.
Quote from: Joana25 on March 16, 2012, 02:16:57 AM
Yeah my little monster is more for her then me. I just wanna keep her happy too but to tell the truth i'm thinking I want SRS... Anyways... But untill that day comes I gotta use my little monster to keep her sexual appetite at bay. I swear shes has a mans sex drive.. I start next week on HRT then its a long road ahead. Im still gonna keep everyone updated on how long it works or doesnt.
;D is your little monster a lady gaga fan too? lol
ive heard a lot about people who play around with different hormone brands until they find a combination/ brand that allows them to still function in terms of erections , actually have you considered contacting a pre op/ non op girl online who works in the porn industry? they would know all the tricks about how to keep functioning/ keep the ability to get erections becuase their career depends on it
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 08, 2012, 04:56:46 PM
Mine aren't very firm after 6 months, it curves downward and is a lil painful if I do anything beyond minor touching. My ejaculation ... is non existant. You may want to bank sperm if you're looking to have kids one day because you'll probably be permanently sterile after 6 months.
I'm glad I'm strictly into men and a bottom only, with no desire for anybody to even acknowledge my penis, or I'd be in trouble huh? :P
Shoot.. some days I get on here and wonder if the real purpose is to just have boobies to look at when your gf / wife gets mad at you :P
bends downward and is painfull? thats a little strange do you think its the result of some kind of penile fibrosis ?
Quote from: mementomori on May 19, 2012, 08:30:10 PM
bends downward and is painfull?
I wonder if regular long term tucking could cause something like that.
Quote from: mementomori on May 19, 2012, 08:30:10 PM
bends downward and is painfull? thats a little strange do you think its the result of some kind of penile fibrosis ?
No idea, but it never happened before HRT. Ever.
No problems with it otherwise, just when it's fully "erect"
I've been on hrt for a little over a year now, and I've maintained my functioning minus the ejaculation and random erections, which, I don't like anyway. At first, I lost function entirely, but after a few months my doctor added progesterone to the mix and that's when I regained my ability for erections. It takes a little longer to get one now, and will go away quicker if not maintaining stimulation, but I don't mind that. The size and girth of the erection is unchanged. I've concluded that the progesterone is what allows me to keep them, because if I stop taking it for a month, it will go away again. Hope this helps..
I've been on HRT for 4 years and this matches up with my experience. It's been about a year since I last penetrated.
That doesn't mean we don't have an active sex life. My wife always needed oral or manual stimulation to reach orgasm. Now she even says she prefers manual. She still has 4 or 5 orgasms to my one. I think many women don't get much real pleasure from penetration. She may get off on the idea of pleasuring a man and making him come though.
Even though I don't get usable erections any more, I find my sensitivity has increased. My breasts are a major part of my sexual equipment now. Once my wife saw my response to her sucking on my nipples, she really got into it.
In fact the one thing that can give me an erection is breast stimulation. There seems to be a neural connection between breasts and the genital region.
I've agreed not to have SRS without her full consent, but I think someday that will come.
Bottom line: You can be a great lover and give your wife all the pleasure she seeks. Lesbians do it all the time.
Quote from: Joana25 on May 18, 2012, 05:59:56 PM
Ok this is an update on this topic i started 2 months ago. So far I have had fast results on HRT its been amazing how much its effected my body. So far I have breast groth, loss of muscle mass, soft looking skin, my penis and balls are shrinking rapidly. I dont get erection at all anymore, when me and my wife try and have sex it takes alot of foreplay just to get a chubby. Then we try and have sex with my little guy and bam!!! It just get limp quick. So for me i guess I got my answer to my question. My Endo has me on an agressive dose of HRT and I really like his approach and im gonna say on HRT because Im liking these results, i can only emagine where I will be at 6 months or a year. So being a very sexual person all my life and pretty much having sex with my wife 4-5 times a week to nothing now has been a hard on me mentally but i did know this could happen.. So just an update to all of you that posted now you know how it went. But the positve is that my body changing result are moving so fast I never would have thought that much would happen. So I would say I have gained alot and lost a little, for my results.
Mmm. I was going to open a thread about when do you completely loss your erections and I find this... Looks like a total roulette.
I wonder what will happen to me. At this moment my libido is already lows and it's almost impossible for me to keep it strong enough for penetration, so no clue about the future while on HRT.
Would it be weird to ask the doc for a combination of meds that keeps it working until you are sure of wanting HRT?
I'd be very much grateful if someone could give me formula to stop them. My T level is barely readable, but I still often wake up in the morning with you know what. The only way to kill the thing for good will be to have SRS. Well, next year if all goes well, in my head. I wonder if that means I'll be very horny post-op.
Can't say I would be sad if the beast would sleep more often. Specially during the mornings
Hope you get it soon. Wonder If will do it in the future...
So I'm about 5-6 months HRT now. Still no erections but it does get a little bit chubby when the wife puts in the foreplay but not really enough for full penetration but now we just sorta rub our parts together or my big clit as she calls it and now I can have Orgasiums. Even though it's soft it's still Orgasiums but no fluids are released not sure why that is. But my O's are so differant I would say longer and more through my body. But differant than before. So as I have learn now you don't need an erection to orgasium. It's will work with some practice. I have noticed that my current equipment has goten about 50% smaller than it usta be. I'm fine with it because tucking is so much easier now than when I first started transistioning.
As far as asking my Endo Dr for any ED type drugs. I'm not gonna do that he did warm me this could happen and it did so I'm not gonna look like a fool an ask for my cake and eat it too. Plus I found a new way that works great so I'm happy now. I still rather have a Vagina than my current equipment.
When I first started HRT I expected to become completely impotent and lose all sex drive, but that didn't happen. What did happen was a lowering of the sex drive and loss of involuntary and morning erections. Thoughts about sex also became less frequent.
After SRS though things changed more radically. My T levels dropped to the very low end of the spectrum for women and arousal is something I now sort of have to work at. It can still be triggered in an instant but not at will like before.
Before SRS I used to masturbate quiet often. I had heard that it would be good for me to do so, so I did (also I enjoyed doing it). No I don't do it so much anymore. I can think about doing it but I easily get distracted and forget about it. On average I do it maybe once every 2-3 weeks or so. (btw, I have no problem reaching orgasm).
One might think this change in libido would seem like a huge loss and a scary prospect, but it isn't. It's not the equivalent of a man that can't get it up when aroused. I don't miss "it" because it is the craving "it" that has disappeared. I still enjoy sex, quiet a bit actually once my engine gets going, but it takes more to light the flame. The only thing about it that bothers me a bit is the fact that I can't be as available for my husband as he would wish I was.
I'm getting a little off track here but the point I'm trying to make is that a drop in the libido doesn't necessarily have to be perceived as a bad thing when it happens. It's not like you loss it and you sit the cursing the fact that you can't find it. It's more like forgetting that you ever had it. One does not feel sad about losing something one can't remember having.
The change in libido happened pretty quickly though, so should it be a huge problem or feel like a great big loss there will most likely be plenty of time to bail before it is too late. Otherwise you are likely to not care that your libido has decreased.
it goes away unless you count morning erections.
I always hated it anyways. the only time I was ever comfortable with it was when I was with my ex - but then it was annoying since it seemed to happen at random moments. :-\
Quote from: Joana25 on March 08, 2012, 03:58:33 PM
... how many people here have lost all use due to HRT? how many have had no change at all?
I have had mostly no change at all. Morning erections appear to be completely eliminated, but as far as those that come when asked for... they come as told, nearly as easily as they ever used to.
I suppose it's lucky, as I still desire attention in that regard from time to time.
Well, I guess my body was just aching for the estro and/or t-blockers.
Around the end of the first week, I could have erections, but no strong enough to penetrate.
By the middle of the second week my semen had become absolutely clear, and by the end of the second full week erections were done...absolute toast.
While I was shocked at how fast it happened, I cannot describe how wonderful it felt to not have the "unwanted monster" doing it's own thing.