I know I'm pushing a lot under my own personal rug, but I do know a little of my more "feminine" behaviour has been peeking out of the seams lately.
I wonder if this will have any affect on others directly on how I fit into "the spectrum." I mean, obviously; but will it have implications, for example, professionally? I know women who are aggressive and so on have their own battles to fight, and they do so very well, but I wonder about more feminine or androgynous men.
How does this affect dating? I am out of that scene? But I know the typical hope is someone that "fits". This is ridiculous, and I know that, and you know that, and I know that you know . . . etc.
I wonder how this behaviour will affect things. I did an experiment a long time ago, where I converted to a "Basic Business Man" at work in appearance and things went well. Until I got myself destroyed that is by years of bullying and trying to work up a corporate ladder.
But I can't remember what came first . . .
Obviously if someone transitions, MTF or FTM, on the job and in real life, there is something that's going to be noticed; what I'm interested in is the gray space between the genders.
Any thoughts?
beatrix
ps, I did read "Does gender behavior (work) influence one's willingness to adopt new technology" and that kind of lead me directly into this . . .
I've found that I've been hassled at one level or another at my current job for being less masculine [having long hair, wearing casual women's clothing, having long hair, bringing my purse to work]. It's not that I've been threatened with termination, but it's just how people respond to me is very different now with an added sense of emotional distance between me and most of the other employees now. Hell, I think I scare my boss a bit, who knows. That's all I can tell you from my experiences.
-- Bridget
it seems [to me] that you're trying to define men as 100% masculine and women as 100% feminine. my experience is that [most] people are somewhere inbetween. for instance, a guy might be a [football player] and like to [cook]. or, a woman might [ride motorcycles] and wear make-up. yet if the guy is continually told by societal influences that cooking is women's work, he might feel embarrassed to try. ditto in reverse for a woman who wants to ride motorcycles.
i don't think it is so much gender itself that is [socially constructed] but the categories of masculine and feminine. society decided that males are to act one way and females another. they [labeled] those categories feminine and masculine. any man who acts in a [feminine] way is seen as less a man in most people's eyes and same for a woman who acts in a [masculine] way. i don't think that anyone should try to modify the way they act to be seen as equal. i do believe, however, that people should act how they please and feel comfortable, as long as it [doesn't] physically harm anyone, and everyone else should modify their views on who is this and who is that.
I work in a pretty liberal workplace (bookstore). Coworkers, mainly the women, noticed such things as eyebrows, nails, earrings, pink colors, and mascara when I have worn it. I can talk to them about my crafts: sewing and jewelry making. The only comment that I consider anything negative so far has come from one guy, and that wasnt too negative. Just was put in a more abrassive joking manner. I guess boys will be boys... well guess thats not true either, lol. You know what I mean. Well thats my experience.
I have receive much more good comments. 99% good.
I sorta take things one-at-a-time.
I dont date, since I am in a long term relationship, however being out is affecting the types of people that I am friends with more. Not sure how to explain it though. I stay away I think from more threatening people, and are friends with those that seem to accept or dont make a big deal out of gender norms. More like the ones that know, know more the real me, and can talk to me in a more real manner.
Being a nurse and transitioning was very helpful scrubs hide alot. There are not to many traditional roles in a big hospital setting as opposed to say construction work. So I think alot has to do with what you do as to how gray your area is.