Its been half a week sence this happened and I still cant get it out of my head... Ive never in my life been so humiliated as I was on sunday night.....
I went out with a coupple of friends for some drinks on sunday night, pretty normal actualy, we had a fairly good time and everything was cool right? Well the friends I got a ride with were too drunk to drive, again kinda normal...
My so called best friend was there, we'll call him the smurf at this point in time, I dont want to give out his real name but smurf fits heh <yeah, Im still mad> He offered to take everyone home <I cant drive my other friends car cuz its standard> but refused to take me unless I went in Drab. "Dude, I cant have you in my truck like that... if we get pulled over it could get me in big troubble" Hes a customs officer and if he should get pulled over the full poliece report ends up on his CO's desk. I tried to find another ride with little sucess, and I didnt have the money for a taxi across town :(
He gave me a teeshirt, a beat up pair of shoes and told me to wash off all my makeup... He made a huge sceen about it... Insisted on calling me "dude" or by my brith name, or the alteration of my birthname that my "friends" used to call me... I felt trapped, and I felt as I had no choice... *Sighs* So I do all that, and then he tells me to go back and take off my fake boobs. This is the only good part of the story... I reached into my purse and handed them to him and just walked out.....
This was the person I considered my best friend, someone who said they would stand by me and support me period... This is the one guy who stood my whole suicide watch... I feel betrayed, humiliated and just so throughly ticked at myself for not standing my ground... All I do know, is our friendship is over, and that in itsself is a crying shame. *Sighs*
I seriously dont understand... is it sudenly a crime to be seen with a TS in your truck, is it sudenly a crime to be TS... I just dont (Enter explictives here) get it.
I hope you don't see this guy ever again. He's not your friend.
Oh, what I want to do... AFTER I get my car back, is go where ever hes hanging out, with one of my trustworthy friends who has a camara... Sit in his lap and plant a big one on him, flash of the camara at the same time then forward the pics to his CO. Just to prove nothing will come of it... cept he might get introubble for being a federal officer at a bar with a lady in his lap.
Though my other thought of walking in, slappig him hard across the face and then throwing a drink on him imdeiatly afterwards then storming off seems fun too heheheh.
Lynner I am so sorry the Smurf is such an idiot. Even people who say they are our real friends have their prejudices and fears. Obviously and unexcusedly the idea of being pulled over and his CO finding out about his best firend the TS was too much for his Smurf brain to deal with (at least that night). Your firendship has gone thru a lot of cycles thru this and maybe trying to have a talk - facing him and getting things off your chest before you leave town would be good and healthy for YOU and maybe even for him too.
*tight hugs* I think you are beautiful and I would never do such a thing to you or Brooke or anyone.
.....................
Let's catily gossip on the phone about this later.
Bri
PS- You know of my contempt for this person. Comeon, sweetie. These people are NOT your friends. They're fracking #$&^ heads.
Quote from: LynnER on March 28, 2007, 03:00:39 AM
Though my other thought of walking in, slappig him hard across the face and then throwing a drink on him imdeiatly afterwards then storming off seems fun too heheheh.
ROFL, oh I LOVE it!
But... maybe talk to him before dumping him? At least you'll know HE knows how deeply he hurt you :(
From the other things you've said, it does sound like he cares for you - though how he could hurt you like that if he DOES care is beyond me.
Kate
Kate, just trust me. This person is not human enough to feel that - but Lynner can speak for herself.
Bri
I like the photo idea, myself. Even if something does come of it, you can just tell him that now he has a small inkling of how you and other TS people feel because of abusive spatula-humpers like him.
Ilsa
Quote from: LynnER on March 28, 2007, 03:00:39 AM
.....my other thought of walking in, slappig him hard across the face and then throwing a drink on him imdeiatly afterwards then storming off seems fun too heheheh.
LynnER...................first, let me say I'm sorry you learned tha hard way who one of your friends is NOT. Secondly, please....do NOT do anything that could get you arrested. Even only slapping is considered assault by law, in every state.
I don't have an alternate 'get even' for you, but then, his worst fate is, you will continue to change and improve..........he will be the same (fill in the blank) forever.
Bev
I think I like my first idea better.
He called earlyer today wanting to go to the movies, even offered to pay, but Id have to go in Drab if I wanted to ride with him... I let it go to voicemail, Im still too upset to see or talk to him at this point.
Quote from: Tink on March 28, 2007, 06:18:08 PM
Quote from: Yvonne on March 28, 2007, 02:57:03 AM
I hope you don't see this guy ever again. He's not your friend.
I agree. One time, my therapist said something very important to me. "Tink, stay away from those who make you feel less than a person, even if those people are family members or best friends. Build relationships that are constructive in nature and get rid of everything that isn't".
tink :icon_chick:
Id have to agree here, its just sad when everything has been "going well" for so long then all collapses under you... I have 3 people left in El Paso I can count as actual friends... thats it... Total friends nation wide Id say 4 or 5 (In person met face to face and hang out with friends) I used to have a great support structure, but now its barebones and Im really not sure what to think or do about it. :(
Quote from: LynnER on March 28, 2007, 06:21:23 PM
Id have to agree here, its just sad when everything has been "going well" for so long then all collapses under you... I have 3 people left in El Paso I can count as actual friends... thats it... Total friends nation wide Id say 4 or 5 (In person met face to face and hang out with friends) I used to have a great support structure, but now its barebones and Im really not sure what to think or do about it. :(
Lynn, sometimes having
one true friend in the entire universe is all you need. What is the point of having five or ten "friends" if you can't share with them your most intimate feelings? Just my thoughts. Chin up! :)
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: LynnER on March 28, 2007, 06:17:42 PM
He called earlyer today wanting to go to the movies, even offered to pay, but Id have to go in Drab if I wanted to ride with him... I let it go to voicemail, Im still too upset to see or talk to him at this point.
How about telling this jerk that the Standards of Care for your medical condition prohibit your dressing in en drab while in the RLE.
Robyn
He dosnt undestand that kind of logic.... called me allsorts of things when I pointed out my theory of the MtF and the bible LoL. Its sad really... his closest friends are now spurning him for his actions that night... Noone will hang out with him anymore... even if it means giveing up free drinks, movies, rides and so on.... Last night I went to a bar he and I used to frequent often pre FT, and I was beyond welcomed by the entie staff.... Other than asking what name I went by now they didnt do a single thing to blow my cover. Was kinda funny, they asked where the smurf was sence it was allways he and I... and when we said off on his own, the bartender said, "Good... he was such a smug A---- anyway"
Lynn, you know the old saying, "With friends like that, who needs enemies." In this case, it sounds like it's true. I don't know your history with Smurf, how long you've been supposed friends but it's sad when someone you thought a friend turns out to be just an acquaintance. Tink, Bri and others are right. You need to distance yourself from this person.
Beverly
LynnER,
I just want to add that when a door shuts... so opens a window. I think it's time to pull back the curtains and open the shades....
Sometimes you have to "shake the dust from your boots" and walk away.
LGF
Too bad you don't have any solo pictures of your former friend doing something stupid. Otherwise I would suggest putting them on /b/, because there's nothing more awful than anonymous like the rest of us. >:3
-- Bridget
Im sorry your friend turned on you, it must feel horrible to think that one you thought so close to you could violate you in that way. I hope that karma comes and bite him in the butt, like it does to everyone else. Just remember that we here would always be here for you, because we understand and we love you to death. -big hug-
Dear LynnER,
Sorry so many people are insensitive. It really hurts when you think they are your friends.
However finding real close friends that will stick with you in a tight spot is a nice treat.
Wendy
Lynn,
Let it go. Get your car and get your face out of there. You've been on that picket fence too long. I'm thinking that youve been piked into place!
Cindi
Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 31, 2007, 01:03:43 AM
Lynn,
Let it go. Get your car and get your face out of there. You've been on that picket fence too long. I'm thinking that youve been piked into place!
Cindi
Yeah, it seems that way to me too sometimes... But I'll be though with this place soon enough and wont look back as I leave it all behind. I'm just trying to make money while waiting for my car so I can split :D
Quote from: LynnER on March 31, 2007, 01:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 31, 2007, 01:03:43 AM
Lynn,
Let it go. Get your car and get your face out of there. You've been on that picket fence too long. I'm thinking that youve been piked into place!
Cindi
Yeah, it seems that way to me too sometimes... But I'll be though with this place soon enough and wont look back as I leave it all behind. I'm just trying to make money while waiting for my car so I can split :D
i understand wanting to leave a place, i want to move back to the coast myself
Sorry to read that had happened to you.
Many of us have said that this journey really shows us who our friends are or are not.
Hugs,
LIT
Hmph! That onion-eyed dweeb! That pustulant canker-blossom! THUNDERING DINKUS!
You're way to good for him! *muttering* Go in DRAB? Are you kidding me? You're far too pretty to even try to pull that off anymore! And why should you? You shouldn't, of course!
Sounds like he wouldn't know a good friend if he shat one!
Ignore his calls and if you see him anywhere just throw a slight glare, toss your hair, spin on your heel and walk away. That oughta piss him off.
Smurfs are creepy little buggers anyways.
I always suggest forgiveness... because dwelling on stuff holds you far more captive than it does the other party. Now, saying that..., forgiveness does not neccessarily mean reconciliation.
Also, really forgiving a rotter... can be cleansing. Revenge just leads to bitterness, and no one is worth the toll that will take on your psyche.
So, forgive and walk away.... Really, who cares if he gets it or not... isn't your problem any more.
LGF
Vengence is generaly a nice thought, but I would never go through with it *Shrugs* you all are right and hes not worth my time... I blocked his number rather than just ignoreing his calls... and when he comes to my house I'll just pretend not to be there... I dont want to see or deal with him. Though If I do see him in public he will be victem of my full contempt... but thats it.
and yeah, I dont think its possable to pass as a guy in Drab anymore either... I mean seriously...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy146%2FLynn_E_R%2FLynn-spot.jpg&hash=a6c751e9e68a146b234f6015660b9100baa5f2ef)
even with out the enhancers Im a very solid LARGE A... and on my frame you cant hide that with just a shirt.
PS: Yes, I do have to show this pic every chance I get... Im proud of it :P
OMG! You've really blossomed, haven't you? Good for you!
Not only can you not pass as a guy in drab anymore, it would be a shame to hide yourself now!
Quote from: LynnER on April 02, 2007, 03:04:54 PM
Yes, I do have to show this pic every chance I get... Im proud of it :P
You should be proud of it. And yeah, give up any idea of drab, it ain't happenin'.
Beverly
Quote from: LynnER on April 02, 2007, 03:04:54 PM
and yeah, I dont think its possable to pass as a guy in Drab anymore either...
NO DRAB FOR YOU
Lynn is getting to be seriously cute! OMG, I can't believe how you have changed!
Cindi
That is an awesome pic, Lynn. You look great.
I can't remember if I've posted on this thread or not (too lazy to look back). I have read it a couple of times and been too outraged to trust myself to post. That behaviour of your friend is unacceptable. I don't know how I'd react if a friend wanted me to do drag. I do have one friend who refuses to get the pronouns right (claims she "can't", which has some credence, because 20 years later she still calls a friend who changed her name by her former name). My response was that she may come to my house, but we are not going out in public together. Ever. If she even thought about insisting I do drag, I would cut her out of my life without hesitation.
Dennis
Great pic Lynn. I agree with folks here... don't see you passing as a gentleman at this point.
LGF
P.S.
Just 2 more cents from me... I wouldn't bother showing your former friend contempt... again, too much negative energy and damage to your own psyche. It might be far more profitable for you to treat him as a stranger. I am polite/show common courtesy with strangers, but often do not engage. He may not deserve that, but you do.