Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Ashley_C on March 25, 2012, 05:27:02 PM

Title: Worst Choice
Post by: Ashley_C on March 25, 2012, 05:27:02 PM
I'm out to no people yet and will have to start doing it at some point soon.

Looking back, what was the worst blunder during this process? Words used, face-to-face vs. letter/email, telling someone vs. not telling them, timing, etc.

Thanks.
Title: Re: Worst Choice
Post by: gennee on March 29, 2012, 01:26:17 PM
Rach, however you feel is best to tell someone then by all means. I told my wife face to face. I did the same with a few other folks. 


:)
Title: Re: Worst Choice
Post by: Beverley on March 29, 2012, 01:33:11 PM
I wrote a letter that I sent to those that lived far away. I only told a few people face to face
Title: Re: Worst Choice
Post by: Hikari on March 29, 2012, 02:35:55 PM
The only real blunder I can say that i have made was the naive assumption that people close to me wouldnt all talk to other people about things. Basically if you tell one person expect everyone to find out, but the way i see it they are gonna find out anyway.

I told everyone who didnt find out secondhand in person, but i think letters might be good if you are the type that doesnt speak well under pressure.
Title: Re: Worst Choice
Post by: Ashley_C on March 29, 2012, 09:10:04 PM
Quote from: Hikari on March 29, 2012, 02:35:55 PM
The only real blunder I can say that i have made was the naive assumption that people close to me wouldnt all talk to other people about things. Basically if you tell one person expect everyone to find out, but the way i see it they are gonna find out anyway.

I told everyone who didnt find out secondhand in person, but i think letters might be good if you are the type that doesnt speak well under pressure.

I'm fully expecting word to spread like wildefire, even if I ask them not to. To be honest, if someone told me this news, I'm not sure how long I could keep it in. With my friends, I plan on bringing together the nearest and dearest and telling them all at once and then having a bit of open forum where every question is on the table. I also plan on having a bit of booze. I also don't expect any real issues, just a lot of shock.
Title: Re: Worst Choice
Post by: Annah on March 29, 2012, 10:09:40 PM
My blunder was not telling my mother sooner. I was 36 when I told her.....in a five page email.

Her response (rather long) but a snippet was "I already knew all this..I am surprised you didn't say anything sooner."

Yeah....facepalm. I could have done this a LOOONG time ago.