Have you ever said anything in the middle of a tense situation to make the atmosphere more lighter?
I remember one year I spoke with a groups of transgenders and allies at a transgender function. After I was done speaking, another woman got up and started to speaking. To make a long story short, she lost it. She started rambling, shaking, screaming, and then she untwisted her water bottle and poured the water down her face. She then continued to scream about everything and anything.
The room was uncomfortably tense. No one was sure whether to let her continue or to call security.
Then one transguy calmly leaned next to my ear and whispered, "and I thought only transguys struggled with T-Rage."
I couldn't help it, my giggle was kind of loud. Maybe it was because I was so nervous the speaker was going to do something...well...violent. I found his comment refreshing and certainly a tense ice breaker.
After the event, I went up to him and thanked him for his comment.
Quote from: Annah on April 12, 2012, 08:14:40 PM
groups of transgenders
Haha, you made it sound like some pack of animals from a document on Discovery Channel or something.
"Here lies a group of transgenders in their natural habitat, the Alpha ->-bleeped-<- is pouring water on her face to show that she's the dominant leader of the pact.
:)
Quote from: JoeyD on April 12, 2012, 08:22:30 PM
Haha, you made it sound like some pack of animals from a document on Discovery Channel or something.
"Here lies a group of transgenders in their natural habitat, the Alpha ->-bleeped-<- is pouring water on her face to show that she's the dominant leader of the pact.
I think you just answered the thread question. :laugh:
I think humor is almost always a good choice. Lol, don't Invite me to a funeral.
I was speaking at a conference on the topic of user-centric messaging and design impact. Zzzzzz... During my presentation, I had suggested that a lot of work done by Jakob Nielsen with regards to usability no longer applied in the current media-rich web/communication environments.
During the Q&A one audience member kept at me about why I felt that way, was grilling me for concrete examples and overall just being seriously aggressive about making me defend my position on Mr. Nielsen's works. I had lights in my face, and couldn't really see anything other than an outline of this dude.
It was starting to get awkward with this single guy dominating the Q&A, so I quipped to the guy, "Wow, does Nielsen owe you money or something?"
"Actually, I'm Jakob Nielsen."
[insert cricket sounds here]
After what seemed like forever, but was only about 5 seconds, I shot off with a "Hm. Then that happened."
He laughed, the audience laughed, and I actually got to spent a few hours with Mr. Nielsen after the session debating the relative merits of really, really boring stuff.
I always think about how stunningly uncomfortable that could have been without some laughter to take the edge off. Yikes!
-Miki
When I was coming out to my very religious preacher sister that I was trans the convos got very tense and spoke for about an hour on the situation. After about an hour of her telling me that I'm not transgender and that it's just a masculine spirit attached to me and if I were to read my bible and let the Holy Spirit come into my life with tears shedding I said this.
"So I guess that means you won't be in the room with me when I get top surgery huh?" Will you help me with my shots at least?"
We both laughed as she basically said no.
Quote from: JoeyD on April 12, 2012, 08:22:30 PM
Haha, you made it sound like some pack of animals from a document on Discovery Channel or something.
"Here lies a group of transgenders in their natural habitat, the Alpha ->-bleeped-<- is pouring water on her face to show that she's the dominant leader of the pact.
hahahaha... we need the rep system back, you deserve a thumbs up.
Going away from all trans-whatever for a moment...
I had situation that a colleague of mine actually had the audacity during an IT presentation in Penang, in front of the gathered customers, to call on me, from his seat among the customer audience that something I was presenting did not make any sense... to him.
I'm not sure if you can feel what THAT feels like?!
I was taken aback completely for a moment... then I put on a smile and thanked him for a valuable contribution... and he was now most welcome to present the facts so they would make best possible sense to everyone present (including himself :-)
The arsehole actually then chickened out!
Now I then had to cover for THAT... by saying that it was obviously not that DEEPLY important, and that we would have ample opportunity to take the issue up once again "off line" i.e. after the presentation.
Though believe me it felt at first, as if someone had pulled down my pants in front of the whole customer team.
Well, I lived to tell the tale :)
Axélle
Quote from: JoeyD on April 12, 2012, 08:22:30 PM
Haha, you made it sound like some pack of animals from a document on Discovery Channel or something.
"Here lies a group of transgenders in their natural habitat, the Alpha ->-bleeped-<- is pouring water on her face to show that she's the dominant leader of the pact.
lmao!
Quote from: Annah on April 12, 2012, 08:14:40 PM
Have you ever said anything in the middle of a tense situation to make the atmosphere more lighter?
Lol yeah I had a similar experience like yours Annah. I was attending a local support group for trans women and this one woman was speaking if you can call it that lol it was more like yelling things about trans rights and discrimination. :icon_blahblah:
Anyway she kept getting louder and louder while the other trans women were cheering her on, I leaned over to the therapist that was overseeing the group and said "Hey...do you think she would be more comfortable with a battle axe in her hand then that pen?" and she started laughing. Nobody else could hear us, it was like an NRA rally in there. :laugh:
splashing water on one's face does not require the calling of the police. She was emotional and had every right to be emotional. Who I am to be her judge and to call the police because she was upset? She wasn't threatening anyone. The last thing we needed was to have police involved in a transgender meeting due to miscommunication.
And a hug? Sorry, I have been in ministry long enough to know when a hug can also be viewed as a form of mocking or not taking seriously what the person goes through. If someone splashed water on their face and started to scream, you usually don't walk up to the person and hug them. That's a sure fire way to piss them off even more. It's condescending.
What would Jesus do? I have no idea. Maybe heal her? Smote her? Rebuke her? Baptize her with the water she already poured out on her face?
That's why God did not make me the Son of God. I do not have the spiritual prerequisites to gauge every encounter and deliver a perfect godly response each and every time. I am human. I am not perfect. Nor do I ever pretend to be.
But thanks for the criticism among a thread that was suppose to alleviate tension and add some humor on this dreadfully melancholy website.
Quote from: Annah on April 14, 2012, 12:03:00 PM
And a hug? Sorry, I have been in ministry long enough to know when a hug can also be viewed as a form of mocking or not taking seriously what the person goes through. If someone splashed water on their face and started to scream, you usually don't walk up to the person and hug them. That's a sure fire way to piss them off even more. It's condescending.
Might even be dangerous, too. Some people react on reflex, or instinct, and it could have been viewed as an attempt to shut her up.
I've had one experience of being in a first aid class, and the instructor was in full flow, explaining CPR if I remember right, and then suddenly he... and there's no polite way to say this... he let rip with the loudest, trouser-shuddering fart you ever heard.
The room was silent, no one knew where to look, and the instructor went as red as a beetroot.
Without thinking, I said "Well, at least now we know you're not talking out if it. That's a good thing."
Everyone, including the instructor, burst out laughing and the unease abaited instantly. :) The rest of the class turned out to be really rather interesting and fun after that. Everyone seemed more jovial.
lol now that's funny!